[Bad News Gone Right]: Ow My Balls Edition

AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
So, we once again continue our safari into the weird, the strange, and even the macabre - a view of the weird world that we live in, and the bizzare happenings that are often too strange to be made up.

For this edition, we're starting with a follow up to this entry previously. Because it turns out that the inevitable happened, and then it got weird:
Back in May, we wrote about a group of gun enthusiasts who love taking pictures of loaded weapons pointed at their dicks. On a long enough timeline, one of them was inevitably going to accidentally discharge their weapon, and on Tuesday, that appears to be exactly what happened to one member in the San Diego area.

A member of a Facebook group dedicated to taking pictures of loaded weapons pointed at dicks finally shot himself in the balls, according to bloody pictures and video he posted on social media and the Imperial County Sheriff's Office, which confirmed the incident to Motherboard. Rather than step back and start questioning whether the practice is wise, the group made him an administrator and are now celebrating him as their king.

That last bit says it all.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I assume the Darwin awards guys have active tracking cookies on these people‘s profiles at all times.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I assume the Darwin awards guys have active tracking cookies on these people‘s profiles at all times.

    I'm just amazed the video got posted.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I assume the Darwin awards guys have active tracking cookies on these people‘s profiles at all times.

    I'm just amazed the video got posted.

    Facebook slaps a censor cover on gore but otherwise doesn't seem to care too much

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Also, we have a modern day Yogi in Colorado:
    Despite the front window of the truck remaining open, the famished animal stands up on its hind legs to peer through the back window for a few seconds before pulling on the door handle and pushing the door back.

    Crawling into the back of the truck, it brings a cooler crashing to the floor and spills out all its contents but then cleverly uses it as a boost so it can reach further inside the vehicle.

    The bear is seen rustling about for a short time on the backseat of the truck before quickly jumping out with a picnic bag in its mouth.

    It then makes a dash for the trees where it can eat its lunch in peace.

    Mr. Ranger is definitely not going to like this.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I hope that poor bear got a good meal.

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  • TastyfishTastyfish Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I assume the Darwin awards guys have active tracking cookies on these people‘s profiles at all times.

    You don't have to win a Darwin award posthumously, this guy looks like he'd qualify.

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  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Tastyfish wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    I assume the Darwin awards guys have active tracking cookies on these people‘s profiles at all times.

    You don't have to win a Darwin award posthumously, this guy looks like he'd qualify.

    He could be an Honorable Mention, depending on whether or not he has kids. Darwin Award winners have to successfully remove themselves from the gene pool before passing on their idiocy to be proper award winners.

    But if doesn't have kids and successfully neutered himself, he could be one of the rare Darwin winners that qualifies for the award and survived the event.

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  • MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    Cutting off his nose Shooting himself in the balls to spite his face own the libs. And then they made him their king.

    ...

    Yes, I am definitely owned by this. The only thing that would own me more are more of these guys shooting themselves in the balls. They owe it to themselves to honor their king by doing this as soon as possible.

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  • [Expletive deleted][Expletive deleted] The mediocre doctor NorwayRegistered User regular
    As a lib, I would also be owned by them shooting other parts of their anatomy.

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  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Historic Bridge Reopens, Gets Damaged by Bus Next Day
    Within 24 hours of reopening, Long Grove’s Robert Parker Coffin Road Bridge was damaged when a yellow school bus struck the historic structure, officials said Saturday.

    The bridge, which was seriously damaged in 2018 when an overweight box truck plowed into the structure, reopened Friday to fanfare and celebration.

    Around noon Saturday, a bus driver turned from Route 53 on to eastbound Robert Parker Coffin Road and disregarded an alert to stay off the bridge, said Sgt. Christopher Covelli of the Lake County Sheriff’s Office.

    “Her GPS warned her she should not proceed with the type of vehicle she was driving,” Covelli said via email. “The occupants on the bus convinced her to proceed, which she did, and subsequently struck the bridge.”

    The bus was rented for hire. Charges are pending against the driver, a 44-year-old from Chicago, Covelli said via email Saturday.

    No injuries were reported, and motorists were still able to drive through the damaged bridge on Saturday.

    Damage was visible on bridge roof rims. The school bus tires had to be deflated for removal. A tow truck hauled the bus away several hours later.

    “There were some folks taking bets on when the first person was going to hit it, but no one thought it would happen that quick, right?” said Long Grove Village President Bill Jacob.

    . . .

    “The good news is though that the steel structure we put in place, there’s really limited damage to the bridge.”

    Jacob, who took a photo on arrival, said boards are going to have to be replaced.

    “The structure that we put in there to reinforce it protected the bridge,” Jacob said.

    “It’s going to get repaired and we’re going to take some other measures to try to prevent it,” he said about future possible accidents.

    Also some quotes from residents during the reopening ceremony the previous day I didn't include but this one stuck out
    “I believe this is a very good omen for things to come.”

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I hope that poor bear got a good meal.

    Sadly, there's a saying here - "a fed bear is a dead bear." Bears that are acclimated to scavenging from humans are routinely put down because they are a danger to both people and themselves.

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  • VishNubVishNub Registered User regular
    DONT

    FEED

    THE

    ANIMALS

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  • TNTrooperTNTrooper Registered User regular
    “Her GPS warned her she should not proceed with the type of vehicle she was driving,” Covelli said via email. “The occupants on the bus convinced her to proceed, which she did, and subsequently struck the bridge.”
    Jacob said the school bus was chartered for a golf outing, transporting golfers.

    Not even the least bit surprised.

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  • Space CoyoteSpace Coyote Registered User regular
    They'll need to charter a new bus, now they've got a hole in one.

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  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    They'll need to charter a new bus, now they've got a hole in one.

    Boo.

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  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    They'll need to charter a new bus, now they've got a hole in one.

    Boo.

    Definitely a sub-par crack.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today in weird house listings - 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1 jail:
    WAIT until you get to picture #30!! 1875 Howard County Sheriff's House and Jail. Extremely unique opportunity!! Extensive renovation in 2005 (supposedly $1.5 million) captures modern high end finishes with traditional architecture and character. This home is 2465 sq ft with three levels of living area, 2 bedroom. 1.5 bath, high end finish throughout, appears to have been totally rewired, replumbed and new HVAC zoned system installed. AND THE BEST PART, connected to the home is a 2500 sq ft legitimate jail with 9 cells, booking room and 1/2 bath. The cell door lock throws appear to be operational. Full basement under the home with lighting throughout. Possibilities are amazing with this property.

    Honestly, the big drawback is it's a historic property, with all the frustrations that entails.

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  • Phoenix-DPhoenix-D Registered User regular
    Oh so not only is there a jail you can't get rid of it.

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Today in weird house listings - 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1 jail:
    WAIT until you get to picture #30!! 1875 Howard County Sheriff's House and Jail. Extremely unique opportunity!! Extensive renovation in 2005 (supposedly $1.5 million) captures modern high end finishes with traditional architecture and character. This home is 2465 sq ft with three levels of living area, 2 bedroom. 1.5 bath, high end finish throughout, appears to have been totally rewired, replumbed and new HVAC zoned system installed. AND THE BEST PART, connected to the home is a 2500 sq ft legitimate jail with 9 cells, booking room and 1/2 bath. The cell door lock throws appear to be operational. Full basement under the home with lighting throughout. Possibilities are amazing with this property.

    Honestly, the big drawback is it's a historic property, with all the frustrations that entails.

    Gone right: I can put my kid in the jail part of the house.

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    Today in weird house listings - 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 1 jail:
    WAIT until you get to picture #30!! 1875 Howard County Sheriff's House and Jail. Extremely unique opportunity!! Extensive renovation in 2005 (supposedly $1.5 million) captures modern high end finishes with traditional architecture and character. This home is 2465 sq ft with three levels of living area, 2 bedroom. 1.5 bath, high end finish throughout, appears to have been totally rewired, replumbed and new HVAC zoned system installed. AND THE BEST PART, connected to the home is a 2500 sq ft legitimate jail with 9 cells, booking room and 1/2 bath. The cell door lock throws appear to be operational. Full basement under the home with lighting throughout. Possibilities are amazing with this property.

    Honestly, the big drawback is it's a historic property, with all the frustrations that entails.

    Gone right: I can put my kid in the jail part of the house.

    "Hey, welcome over, let me show you the guest rooms..."

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
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  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Convert into a consensual sex dungeon

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
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  • evilmrhenryevilmrhenry Registered User regular
    Cheapest AirBnB in the tri-county area.

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited August 18
    Okay kiddo, you're grounded. Keep talking back, and you're grounded to the cells.

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
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  • The Zombie PenguinThe Zombie Penguin Eternal Hungry Corpse Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    Convert into a consensual sex dungeon

    Yeah, in all seriousness there's a bunch of kinksters who would love owning such a thing.

    Ideas hate it when you anthropomorphize them
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  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Y'all are thinking smalltime.

    Welcome to the first werewolf-friendly AirBnB!

    Six werewolves, one building, absurd daily charges because where else is a werewolf going to stay? It's the perfect plan with zero risk.

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    Convert into a consensual sex dungeon

    Good to see the thread title remains relevant

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Budweiser looks to become the state beer...of a state that doesn't really like beer:
    Budweiser launched a new campaign Monday seeking to become Utah’s first official state beer and promised to release a customized can if its plan goes through.

    In a video ad posted on YouTube, the self-proclaimed “King of Beers” argued that Utah has “a lot of official state things,” including cherries as the state’s official fruit, coal as its official rock and sego lily as the state flower.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited August 20
    AngelHedgie on
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  • emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    I'm mostly posting so the stupid unread bug will go away, but I also wanted to say I really enjoy these threads especially in the never ending nightmare that is 2020

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  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    Mostly horrible except for the fact that he got caught and no-one actually got hurt:
    Man contaminated baby food with metal shards
    A farmer has been found guilty of adding metal shards to baby food in a plot to blackmail Tesco.

    Nigel Wright, from Market Rasen in Lincolnshire, tried to extort £1.4m from the supermarket chain.

    The Old Bailey heard how two mothers were moments away from feeding their infants when they spotted the shards.

    Wright was convicted of three counts of blackmail and two charges of contaminating goods. He will be sentenced on 28 September.

    Jurors were told he sent dozens of letters and emails to the supermarket giant between May 2018 and February 2020 and demanded the money was paid via the online currency Bitcoin.

    I'm mainly mentioning it for this, and the fact that none of the stories I'm reading are mentioning the link:
    Wright, who signed off as the fictional character "Guy Brush" and "the Dairy Pirates", claimed to be part of a cohort of farmers angry at the low price they were paid for their milk.

    Like, I'm not the only one seeing this, right?
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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    God 2020's writers are getting so lazy

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  • TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    Budweiser looks to become the state beer...of a state that doesn't really like beer:
    Budweiser launched a new campaign Monday seeking to become Utah’s first official state beer and promised to release a customized can if its plan goes through.

    In a video ad posted on YouTube, the self-proclaimed “King of Beers” argued that Utah has “a lot of official state things,” including cherries as the state’s official fruit, coal as its official rock and sego lily as the state flower.

    Wait, fucking coal is Utah's state rock? There are so many gorgeous rocks in that state and they had to pick coal? Not, like, sandstone? C'mon.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Nebraska: The perfect place to leave a tank:

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  • evilmrhenryevilmrhenry Registered User regular
    Twitter is pointing out that this is a bridge launcher, not a tank, in case you were wondering about the lack of a turret.

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  • NitsuaNitsua Gloucester, VARegistered User regular
    It has treads and is shaped like a tank, most people would see it as a tank. Still doesn’t belong on the side of the road. I’m really curious how this happened. Must be a wild story... or something incredibly mundane.

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  • Gnome-InterruptusGnome-Interruptus Registered User regular
    Nitsua wrote: »
    It has treads and is shaped like a tank, most people would see it as a tank. Still doesn’t belong on the side of the road. I’m really curious how this happened. Must be a wild story... or something incredibly mundane.

    I would guess problems with the tractor that was pulling the trailer caused them to unhitch and tow away the tractor, and then either waiting on repairs or a replacement before they can tow the trailer away.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Man uses Bud Light in an appropriate nanner:
    A Vacaville man turned to the only thing he had to put out the flames burning his shop: Cans of Bud Light.
    His cars were torched, and his shop was going up quickly.

    “It was burning on the wood below and I didn’t have any water,” he said. “I had one barrel with a little bit of water in it and I tried using that, but it didn’t work.”

    He grabbed the only thing left, cans of Bud Light.

    “When I ripped up the sheet metal, it had a nail, so I was just shaking it up, popping it and spraying them,” he said. “I was popping it out and grabbing another one.”

    He was able to put out the flames right before firefighters arrived.

    “My buddies all tease me about drinking water-beer,” he said. “I say, ‘hey, it saved my shop.’”

    Little was able to save his home, the temporary modular home the family is using and his shop.

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  • KamiroKamiro Registered User regular
    Guarantee Budweiser is going to hook him up with a ton of free beer

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  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    I'm impressed that he was able to open enough beer cans quickly enough to deal with a spreading fire!

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Calica wrote: »
    I'm impressed that he was able to open enough beer cans quickly enough to deal with a spreading fire!

    He said he had a bit of sheet metal with a nail in it, so would be pretty simple to whack it into cans to puncture

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