Against Everyone’s Better Judgement The [Movie] Thread is Open

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  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Per Variety, Disney's doing a new live-action Haunted Mansion film

    Written by Katie Dippold (The Heat)
    Produced by Dan Lin and Jonathan Eirich (Aladdin 2019)

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited August 29
    It's tempting to belittle that but then the next thing you know it's a five film franchise with Timothee Chalamet as fuckin Jack Elevator

    No wait his name is Jack Lift and he's just like a dude but at the end of the first movie he saves everbody by becoming an elevator, 'ohhhh' says the audience with waves of dramatic frisson rippling through them

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Not gonna lie , if your movies twist is that someone can out of no where transform into an elevator, I'm a bit intrigued

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Yeah you know like a big haunted magic elevator dont worry the sequels getl into it

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    I am actually intrigued by "shittest xmen", not enough to like watch it or anything but you know, as a weird gross thing to hear about

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Yeah you know like a big haunted magic elevator dont worry the sequels getl into it

    Oh, I thought you meant like one of the other characters just randomly turns into an elevator to fight the haunted elevator

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Oh no he is the haunted elevator as it turns out the first movie is about pirate treasure for the most part

  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Oh no he is the haunted elevator as it turns out the first movie is about pirate treasure for the most part

    I can't stop thinking about a scene, where one dark glowing elevator is on a beach and across from it is a shiny chrome elevator.

    And they are just opening and closing their doors angrily at each other, set to fight music

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    I am reminded of a Stephen King story "The Mangler" which is about an evil laundry pressing machine which indeed by the end is chasing someone down the street going clang clang clang

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    I am reminded of a Stephen King story "The Mangler" which is about an evil laundry pressing machine which indeed by the end is chasing someone down the street going clang clang clang

    How did this not get all the Oscars

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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator mod
    uh, in haunted mansion canon, there is no elevator, you're in a stretching room

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    uh, in haunted mansion canon, there is no elevator, you're in a stretching room

    Sorry too late, wait'll you see movie 3 where splash mountain has to take care of 3 rambunctious baby elevators

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  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    I am reminded of a Stephen King story "The Mangler" which is about an evil laundry pressing machine which indeed by the end is chasing someone down the street going clang clang clang

    Scary lamp!

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Theres some sort of disney thing with an elevator right some sorta ride

  • MagellMagell Sphinx! Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Theres some sort of disney thing with an elevator right some sorta ride

    Tower of Terror

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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator mod
    I think that the Haunted Mansion is a really good ride but also the story in the Haunted Mansion is fuckin' nonsense because there were like three different people involved in designing it and eventually they just settled on just mashing all three of their story ideas together and calling it a day

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  • Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    Per Variety, Disney's doing a new live-action Haunted Mansion film

    Written by Katie Dippold (The Heat)
    Produced by Dan Lin and Jonathan Eirich (Aladdin 2019)

    Guillermo del Toro is throwing things around his fanboy house rn that he didn’t direct or write

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  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    Jragghen wrote: »

    I am extremely skeptical. The X-men is full to the brim of truly terrible movies. This would be a real feat.

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    I always had an idea for a horror that would possibly be too scary and people would have heart attacks. But set a movie about a cosmic horror preying on the fear of theatre audiences itself. And then Arg it a bit by playing with the lights and shadows on edge of screen and the aisles at proper moments

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    edited August 29
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhkFkioVYag?list=-

    edit- hang on, here's one with the director

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhkFkioVYag?list=-

    edit- hang on, here's one with the director

    I would ask if they fucked with the audience but it being Vincent Price, I'm guessing the answer is " oh hell ya they did"

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    William Castle loved gimmicks.

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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    I think the only way New Mutants could be worse than Apocalypse is if it is more boring, and I'm not sure I believe that's possible

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  • The JudgeThe Judge The Terwilliger CurvesRegistered User regular
    "Let's wire the chairs and get some unlicensed electrical current running through them - what could go wrong?"

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    Hey so Tenet's out up here and I saw it

    it's one of those movies you can't really spoil in a single sentence but short version is, it doubles down on Christopher Nolan's intricately complicated clockwork of a plot thing but this one seems to have like... no thematic throughline I could detect? Besides some very broad character motivations and recurring lines, it really is an All Plot, No Subtext movie. It doesn't even do the thing where the plot reflects the movie's structure that he's done for every non-Batman movie since The Prestige. Except for some very groan-worthy uses of the words protagonist and antagonist but it's played off as military jargon for the most part.

    It reminds me weirdly enough of Death Stranding on a surface level, it goes for similar ideas, but seems to have less of an agenda besides showing its work, plot-wise. I also suspect the critical reception will be similar to Death Stranding once people do get around to seeing it. For what it's worth, I liked it, but this is absolutely a bring flowcharts to watch it a second time movie because it wants you to pay attention and connect the dots.

    real spoilers
    So the gimmick is that there is a machine that can revert the entropy of whatever you put in it. Early in the movie the exposition dump you get is that people have been finding inverted objects, mostly bullets, that can't be shot from guns but only un-shot. It looks initially like our main guy will become some super secret agent that learns how to use these things but then they kinda drop this whole aspect once they find the machine itself, which can do the same thing to anything, including people. These things come from the future and haven't been invented yet, but since it's effectively time travel, it's been sent back and is being used in the present, because Christopher Nolan has seen Looper. So the first half of the movie is some pretty standard spy-fi about tracking down the origin of these things through infiltrating the entourage of Russian mob boss Kenneth Branagh, who is the person putting these things out on the black market. Then they get to the machine, everything goes wrong, Kenneth Branagh goes through it and therefore starts going backwards in time, and the heroes folllow him.

    This middle chunk of the movie is where it works the best, because as you probably would have guessed from the title and previews, parts of this movie are like a palindrome. You see it forwards with some weird unexplained shenanigans first, then later on the heroes go back through the same events backwards and the pieces come together. The action sequences of this movie are un fucking believable. What do you even imagine in your head if I tell you so in this scene the two characters are fighting, but they are going in opposite directions in time. Real tricky use of reversing footage all over the place, this movie has the technical Oscars on lock, easily.

    The big downside is that half the time I had no fucking idea what was going on, it's incredibly hard to follow. It looks good but as a Christopher Nolan movie it always wants you to think really hard about what you're looking at, and it's really hard to wrap your mind around everything while everything is crashing and uncrashing in front of you, at the same time. Also, the conclusion of the Robert Pattinson character took me until the ride home to make sense of. It's not THAT complicated a story, but it's told through so many weird sleights of hand and narrative loops that it's just impossible to put all together in the moment. There's a whole early sideplot involving fake paintings and that's not even the weird time shit yet and I was already completely lost as to what was up with that. Also Michael Caine is in this movie for one scene and I don't know why. It feels sloppy and disconnected on a character level. That's always been Nolan's biggest weakness, putting actual humans on the screen, and it is fucking kaioken times twenty in this one. It's by far his least accessible movie.

    Also, and this goes without saying, fuck them for not putting this on VOD, like it looks cool but it's not nearly visually interesting enough to justify the big screen only mandate. It's normal things moving in unusual ways. This isn't Speed Racer (but then again, what is). Also like half the runtime is just people having fast conversations in cars while the soundtrack is going "thudududud thudududud thudududud thudududud baooowwwm" and it cuts to them doing the thing they're talking about because again, yes, this is a Christopher Nolan movie. It's flashier on the sound system than on the screen to be honest. It's not even 3D because of course Nolan is also anti-3D anyway so your TV is absolutely good enough for this movie.

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    edited August 29
    Oh yeah I remembered exactly none of the characters' names in this movie, which, again, Christopher Nolan doesn't do human beings very well.

    Wait no, sorry, Robert Pattinson is named Neil, because I kept thinking they were calling him Neo and I'm like okay wow you really want this to be the new Matrix

    SimBen on
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  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    but it's Christopher Nolan, and Christopher Nolan only makes art for big screens (and big sound systems), not pap for television, so.

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    Nah

    it's action with a complicated plot

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    The Judge wrote: »
    "Let's wire the chairs and get some unlicensed electrical current running through them - what could go wrong?"
    Apparently it used motors not shocks. Though that didn't stop Mr Castle from claiming it was an electric shock in his biography.

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    edited August 29
    It also goes without saying that Tenet’s (two) female characters get a raw fucking deal. Christopher Nolan continues to have Issues.

    (hey, that's another thing it has in common with Death Stranding)

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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Dewn

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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    SimBen wrote: »
    It also goes without saying that Tenet’s (two) female characters get a raw fucking deal. Christopher Nolan continues to have Issues.

    I can only assume that one is a bitter estranged wife/girlfriend.

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    SimBen wrote: »
    It also goes without saying that Tenet’s (two) female characters get a raw fucking deal. Christopher Nolan continues to have Issues.

    I can only assume that one is a bitter estranged wife/girlfriend.

    Yes but this time, she's the BAD GUY'S wife so it's different see

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    I sincerely hope Christopher Nolan's ex-wife is on witness protection at this point.

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    Nah, it's dead wives that Nolan has a fetish for.

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  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
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    Spoiler for what'll be in my mail box!

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  • SimBenSimBen Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    Nah, it's dead wives that Nolan has a fetish for.

    well

    "dead" is complicated this time

    (it was also that way in Inception though so)

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  • TNTrooperTNTrooper Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhkFkioVYag?list=-

    edit- hang on, here's one with the director

    The guys from MST3K riffed this at my local Alamo. That was a fun night.

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