Help me sell my washing machine.

Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
Hi everyone this is my washing machine. It both washes and dries your clothes for the space conscious individual.

fxwhcao6e4da.jpeg

We recently upgraded to a larger model due to our baby, so I’m going to throw this up on Facebook marketplace to try and get rid of it and get some extra dollars. And I figured, why not let SE++ write the description for the washing machine as it could be fun.

As times are tough, I will not pay you other than in EXPOSURE and I might press awesome on your post.

A Dabble Of TheloniusVeldrinBucketmanTofystedethVegemyteElvenshae#pipeDavid WalgasProhassMugsley
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Posts

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    It would help I guess if the photo wasn’t rotated 90 degrees. I don’t know how to fix that.

    A Dabble Of TheloniusBucketmansarukunRingoXehalusJoolanderDoodmannVegemyteElvenshae
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    lead with its magnetic/gravity-defying properties, that's tip numero uno

    BahamutZEROA Dabble Of TheloniusBucketmanUsagiHeadCreepsPsykomaMidniteSkeithGoose!sarukunRingoDonovan PuppyfuckerSporkAndrewFearghaillSorceRaijin QuickfootKayne Red RobeSCREECH OF THE FARGsponoJoolanderJansonKadithtynic3clipseTofystedethASimPersonVegemyteElvenshaePeewiMojo_Jojo
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    "Good size, but the baby doesn't fit"

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN
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  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    "My impulse purchase is your gain!"

    Mine's better 'cause it has an exclamation point

    ! ❗ ❕ ‼

    Drez wrote: »

    Being quoted out of context is honestly what I live for.
    RingoElvenshae
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Is it one of those weird communist washing machines which only break after 30+ years of use

    Can it be made to look like one of those

  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular

    TonkkaBahamutZEROHeadCreepsRingoThe Cow KingLucedes
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    "I didn't get into this business to sell a washing machine, I got into it to tell stories. Stories are what brings us together, much like a this machine brings together both washing and drying functions. This is what helps us form connections with our community, through empathy, and fresh smelling clothes. The tradition of the story teller also goes deep into the roots of our shared history, just like the deep clean cycle will get out those tough stains."

    XaquinTonkkaBlake TPoorochondriacchromdomUsagiMidniteRanlinButlerCronoColawebguy20Devlin_DragonussarukunRingoDonovan PuppyfuckerFearghaillSorceDisruptedCapitalistDesert LeviathanSCREECH OF THE FARGStraightzisponoJoolanderJedocA Dabble Of TheloniusBloodsheed3clipseDrZiplockDouglasDangerTofystedethASimPersonVivixennezekebeauChallVegemyteElvenshaeMrMonroeDavid WalgasSirToastyThe Escape Goatpooka
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    "It's haunted, but don't worry it only spews blood on alternate Thursdays"

    TefRingoDisruptedCapitalistMagic PinkBucketman
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    BUY BLAKE T'S WASHING MACHINE

    $5.00 OBO

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    BUY BLAKE T'S WASHING MACHINE

    $5.00 OBO

    Sir, I am not interested in underpriced woodwind instruments. How much for the washing machine?

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    MidniteBlake TRingoDonovan PuppyfuckerA Dabble Of TheloniusVivixenneVegemytemcpMojo_Jojo
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited September 2020
    this washer-drier
    embodies convenience
    just not for parents

    Butler on
    name one thing that waluigi with a gun couldn't solve
    Blake TgodmodeRingoSorceBucketmanASimPersonFishmanVegemyteRhesus PositiveElvenshaeMrMonroe
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    $4

    SOLD

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    Xaquin
  • PeasPeas Registered User regular
    1:01


    cv5egvv8s1kf.png
    TonkkasarukunRingoBucketmanFishman
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    $4

    TWO DOLLARS

    PinfeldorfMaddocRingoSorceMidniteBucketman
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    It would help I guess if the photo wasn’t rotated 90 degrees. I don’t know how to fix that.

    @Blake T edit the photo in the ios photo app by 1 degree. It stops Vanilla's photo hosting thing from rotating them

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    $4

    SOLD

    that was easy

    you're welcome Blake!

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Guess I better go buy an oboe now.

    XaquinTonkkaElvenshae
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    $4

    TWO DOLLARS


    God damn I'm glad someone other than myself has watched this fuckin' movie.

  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    "I didn't get into this business to sell a washing machine, I got into it to tell stories. Stories are what brings us together, much like a this machine brings together both washing and drying functions. This is what helps us form connections with our community, through empathy, and fresh smelling clothes. The tradition of the story teller also goes deep into the roots of our shared history, just like the deep clean cycle will get out those tough stains."

    And who has a better story, than Washing Machine The Broken?

    RingoButlerNaphtaliSCREECH OF THE FARGMidniteA Dabble Of TheloniusVegemyteElvenshae
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    "For sale: washing machine, never worn."

    This post was sponsored by Goop.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
    RingoXaquinMidniteMagic PinkVegemyteRhesus PositiveElvenshae#pipe
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    It is important to disclose how many miles are on the drum.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    $4

    TWO DOLLARS


    God damn I'm glad someone other than myself has watched this fuckin' movie.

    yeah it's a criminally underwatched movie, but on the plus side i've gotten the joy of introducing it to someone new many many times

    A Dabble Of TheloniustynicBucketmanLucedes
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Is someone asks to give a test run with some washing

    DO NOT ALLOW THEM

    My aunt let someone do it. They just washed their clothes and left. They didn't want to pay for a laundromat. They didn't even bring their own soap!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    VeldrinRingoDonovan PuppyfuckerSorceNaphtaliXaquinMidnitewebguy20Kadithtynic3clipseTonkkaRaijin QuickfootTofystedethBucketmanFishmanVivixenneVegemyteProlegomenaRhesus PositiveElvenshaeCarpyDavid WalgasMugsleyLucedes
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    "I didn't get into this business to sell a washing machine, I got into it to tell stories. Stories are what brings us together, much like a this machine brings together both washing and drying functions. This is what helps us form connections with our community, through empathy, and fresh smelling clothes. The tradition of the story teller also goes deep into the roots of our shared history, just like the deep clean cycle will get out those tough stains."

    I got all excited to make a couple extra exposure dollars but then this guy came in and sank it in one!

    Ringo
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    "Low mileage for its age, always garaged, never driven in the rain. Full service history, never crashed, no tyrekickers."

    Elvenshae
  • ElaroElaro Threadkiller, Harbinger of the Lock GodsRegistered User regular
    "It slices! It dices! It crawls on it's belly like a reptile!

    A floor wax AND a dessert topping!"

    Derp derp still a smurf
    Elvenshae
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I would like to buy your time machine

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    I have things to sell

  • XehalusXehalus lo-fi Registered User regular
    what are ya sellin

    Donovan Puppyfucker
  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    Do a cover of this:

    Except make it all about buying a washing machine.
    "Feel so clean with this washing machine"

    Definitely keep the intro as is though. You need to neg your buyers.

    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    BANISH DIRT TO THE LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    UrielXaquinmxmarksMagic PinkFencingsaxRhesus PositiveElvenshae
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Null Registered User regular
    "Please don't make me bring it to Cashies. I can't handle the golf club tree."

    B.net: Naphtali#1830 | Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | PSN: EI-Naphtali | Wish List
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    just copy the 1999 toyota corolla ad text and use the find and replace tool

    NaphtaliXaquin
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    SanderJK wrote: »
    Do a cover of this:

    Except make it all about buying a washing machine.
    "Feel so clean with this washing machine"

    Definitely keep the intro as is though. You need to neg your buyers.

    Jesus fuck, at least use a good song, like

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Wait, what's that terribad screamo song with the rented cars and the clearly underage girls being yelled at that was somewhat of a meme around here years ago?

    That one, use that one.

  • SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Lalabox wrote: »
    just copy the 1999 toyota corolla ad text and use the find and replace tool
    Naah, make a commercial like this.


    steam_sig.png
    Backloggery. It's totally updated again, I swear!
    TheStig
  • ChallChall Registered User regular
    What this needs is sex appeal! Can you photoshop a thong on the washer? That'll catch people's attention for sure.

    XaquinElvenshae
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    I could literally, put underwear in the washing machine.

    I was thinking of maybe photoshopping in a rainbow or something to jazz it up, but I mean, I can’t even orientate a picture correctly.

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