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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Aldo wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    My Dad wasn't really involved in my childhood, well or adulthood either, really. I've worked a lot on telling my kids I love them every day and playing with them all the time and I still get told that I'm not their favorite similar to people around here.

    I'm beginning to suspect that maybe my Dad just figured I didn't like him because I said shit like that to him when I was a kid.

    Nah man, your dad was an adult as much as you are now and children have always said stupid shit to their parents. If he ignored you then that was 100% on him and had nothing to do with whatever crap you may or may not have said as a little kid.

    I really appreciate this comment. Thank you.

    My dad wasn't really around in all the distant father tropes and I'm doing my damndest to try and break that cycle with my kids.

    It's hard to ignore the almost daily comments of some variation of "I don't like you" from my three year old, but going to keep telling her I love her and hugging her etc etc.

    Hopefully this pans out for a better relationship.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    AldoPeenShadowfireBrody
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    When my kids say "I don't like you" or "I love mommy more", I break out into an over-the-top fake cry. That usually gives them a giggle and then mommy swoops in with "You made daddy cry, give him a hug" or something.

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    I go with "that's nice, I love you".

    As previously stated, my son has told me that I'm "the worst father ever times 100" on multiple occasions, so to all the rest of you: git gud.

    MegaMan001ElvenshaeShadowfireBrody
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    I go with "that's nice, I love you".

    As previously stated, my son has told me that I'm "the worst father ever times 100" on multiple occasions, so to all the rest of you: git gud.

    Dang, time to pack up y'all, can't beat this feller.

    Elvenshae
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Oh yeah, Ellie goes "I don't like you and I'm never going to talk to you every again"

    And I usually respond "well, that's your choice. But I love you"

  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    "we'll see who breaks first"

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    ElvenshaeBrody
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Bedtimes have been hard the past few weeks. He just keeps appearing downstairs / upstairs depending on whether I'm still washing up or playing something. He's usually up about 4 or 5 times with some reason why he can't sleep (itchy back, eyelids heavy) and we've tried just about everything

    I sat him down this morning and just straight up asked why he wouldn't go to sleep and he responded with "it just gets so boring waiting to go to sleep. If you let me have the iPad or my switch in the room I could play that until I went to sleep"

    Well, we know that doesn't work. Last time I left his audiobook playing accidentally until half ten he was still wide awake, and we still have vivid memories of the 8 hour car journey from New York to Toronto (arriving at 3am) where he stayed awake the whole time because we made the mistake of taking a portable dvd player

    He's usually so tired that it would just take 5 minutes of lying still with his eyes shut and he'd be off, but apparently that's too much for his busy schedule

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
    Mojo_Jojo
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Bedtimes have been hard the past few weeks. He just keeps appearing downstairs / upstairs depending on whether I'm still washing up or playing something. He's usually up about 4 or 5 times with some reason why he can't sleep (itchy back, eyelids heavy) and we've tried just about everything

    I sat him down this morning and just straight up asked why he wouldn't go to sleep and he responded with "it just gets so boring waiting to go to sleep. If you let me have the iPad or my switch in the room I could play that until I went to sleep"

    Well, we know that doesn't work. Last time I left his audiobook playing accidentally until half ten he was still wide awake, and we still have vivid memories of the 8 hour car journey from New York to Toronto (arriving at 3am) where he stayed awake the whole time because we made the mistake of taking a portable dvd player

    He's usually so tired that it would just take 5 minutes of lying still with his eyes shut and he'd be off, but apparently that's too much for his busy schedule

    Yep. I feel this.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
    AldoElvenshaeBrody
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    We just started trying melatonin with the almost 5 year old. Holy shit, he's actually asleep well before 10pm!

    :so_raven:
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Melatonin is prescription only here.

    I've been taking magnesium and sour cherry for sleep.

    But ecco doesn't want to "drug" Ellie.

    Which ok. Well see how we go. We're still cosleeping, so she still sleeps.

    But I do miss my full king size bed

    SporkAndrew
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    When he does sleep we have sleep-walking to contend with. Instead of appearing behind me whilst I'm washing up and asking a really important question (last nights was "Daddy, why does Pat the Alligator not like shoes?") he'll appear in a doorway standing perfectly still and twitching or just be running up and down the corridor shouting for his Grandma

    Sleepwalking usually ends with him in our bed so I have a starfished child as well as the dog to deal with. At least when he's just killing time pretending to have an itchy back / belly / leg he'll go back to his own bed

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Hey @SporkAndrew I am a lifelong sufferer of sleepwalking and have read up on sleep and what the brain does when you sleep. Sleepwalking occurs often in kids his age. A lot of children around that age are sleepwalking, but grow out of it. Some will continue doing it into their adult lives.

    It sounds like your kid could benefit from better sleep hygiene. Setting up a nighttime routine with plenty of time to unwind could help with falling asleep at night and could result in less sleepwalking. I know I have benefited greatly from a good nighttime routine, I am better rested and I haven't been a nuisance to my partner with stupid sleepwalking for a while. I guess the main takeaway should be that your kid needs his rest and he should try to sleep well. That's something you can help with and something he should do his best for.

  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Aldo wrote: »
    Hey @SporkAndrew I am a lifelong sufferer of sleepwalking and have read up on sleep and what the brain does when you sleep. Sleepwalking occurs often in kids his age. A lot of children around that age are sleepwalking, but grow out of it. Some will continue doing it into their adult lives.

    It sounds like your kid could benefit from better sleep hygiene. Setting up a nighttime routine with plenty of time to unwind could help with falling asleep at night and could result in less sleepwalking. I know I have benefited greatly from a good nighttime routine, I am better rested and I haven't been a nuisance to my partner with stupid sleepwalking for a while. I guess the main takeaway should be that your kid needs his rest and he should try to sleep well. That's something you can help with and something he should do his best for.

    We were recommended by a doctor to start leaving a light on in his room instead of setting it on a timer to turn off once he's asleep - that's helped massively with the sleepwalking.

    As far as his sleep hygiene goes I'm not sure how much more we can be doing. His nighttime routine is pretty constant and there's a full wind-down process that culminates in toilet, teeth, shower, bedtime chapter with me and then another ten minutes of listening to an audiobook. We've tried with and without the audiobook, different stories, different timings (earlier / later) and all we can hope is that it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it eventually.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
    AldoBrody
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Oh that's very sensible, I hope it'll work out sooner rather than later. One of the tips is: if after 20 minutes you haven’t gotten to sleep, get up and stretch, read, or do something else calming in low light before trying to fall asleep again. Maybe he can try that if he really can't get to sleep. Maybe it's just too difficult to do right at your kid's age.

    Brody
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    Waking your kids up is the perfect time to subject them to nonsense because they're half asleep anyway, so this morning I told my 10 year old to wake up and she asked me why and I told her because she was a valuable member of the organization and that I needed her to embrace the day and manifest the change that she wanted to see in the world. She didn't appreciate it but I got a kick out of it and yes I did spend the better part of yesterday in management trainings, why do you ask?

    AldoKalnaurDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaemrpakusponoSporkAndrewlonelyahavaschussKayne Red RobeBrodyknitdanJaysonFour
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    My four month old sucks on his fingers. Doesn't seem to be linked to any hunger and no teeth yet so you know, whatever.

    Except just a few moments ago he jammed them far enough into his gaping maw that he threw up.

    Christ, that nay be one of the grossest things I've seen as a parent.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    kimeElvenshaeBrodyJaysonFour
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    My four month old sucks on his fingers. Doesn't seem to be linked to any hunger and no teeth yet so you know, whatever.

    Except just a few moments ago he jammed them far enough into his gaping maw that he threw up.

    Christ, that nay be one of the grossest things I've seen as a parent.

    D:

    I watched my 5mo gag herself on a toy earlier this week but at least she just coughed and threw the toy across the room, hopefully she learned her lesson

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    My four month old sucks on his fingers. Doesn't seem to be linked to any hunger and no teeth yet so you know, whatever.

    Except just a few moments ago he jammed them far enough into his gaping maw that he threw up.

    Christ, that nay be one of the grossest things I've seen as a parent.

    D:

    I watched my 5mo gag herself on a toy earlier this week but at least she just coughed and threw the toy across the room, hopefully she learned her lesson

    Funny how kids are different. Ripley had zero interest in pacifiers or anything else. Hicks, though, this little idiot is trying to fit his entire fist into his mouth.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    ElvenshaeBrody
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited March 23
    Grossest parent thing so far was probably discovering the secret monument to all the boogers behind Middle Guy's pillow

    mrpaku on
    DixonKayne Red RobeBanzai5150DisruptedCapitalistJaysonFourFishman
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    I go with "that's nice, I love you".

    As previously stated, my son has told me that I'm "the worst father ever times 100" on multiple occasions, so to all the rest of you: git gud.

    I remember when my kid was calling us stupid assholes a year and a half ago. Getting the trouble kids out of her daycare helped a ton.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    My son has slept really well this past week!

    But, as seems to be something of a routine now, just as our body clocks are starting to adjust to more sleep he regresses to his old ways.

    Ugh.

  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Teething sucks, L has four molars coming in and I don't appreciate it.

    honovereschuss
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    I did something today in haven’t done in months.

    I slept all the way to my alarm this morning.

    Only it came through as a vibration on my watch and I didn’t recognise it. So I continued my dream except a bomb was going to go off if my heart rate, measured from my watch went up to high. It was a nervous wake up.

    ElvenshaekimeSporkAndrewPeenMNC Doverschuss
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Ripley went from crying in the middle of the night to calling for one of us to getting out of bed and coming to our door.

    Now she's figured out to crawl into our bed from the foot of the covers. I'm sure she's already noted if she does it fast enough our willingness to pull her out drops completely.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Signed my kids up for spring-break camp at the YMCA. Credit card got declined.. weird.. so I tried my other card. Declined. But the second card did call me, asking if I meant to sign up for YMCA camp, and said that the charge would go through if I tried a second time.
    I guess I'm just that white that going to the YMCA in Harlem is a major flag.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    BrodyDisruptedCapitalist
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Does anyone here know if there's a way to 100% lock a computer so that the touchpad, keyboard, power button, and any other input available will be completely locked until some complex action is taken?

    Yes, this is pertinent to a 4 year old increasingly wanting to be on my computer and still not understanding any kind of punishment feedback for touching my computer. And I can't remove the computer from the situation.

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited March 24
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Does anyone here know if there's a way to 100% lock a computer so that the touchpad, keyboard, power button, and any other input available will be completely locked until some complex action is taken?

    Yes, this is pertinent to a 4 year old increasingly wanting to be on my computer and still not understanding any kind of punishment feedback for touching my computer. And I can't remove the computer from the situation.

    Remove the power cord and battery. It looks like for a laptop you can disable the power button. Maybe set up fingerprint requirements to log on? There are usb fingeprint readers if your laptop doesn't have one.


    Alternately, could you get them a spare keyboard from somewhere and give it to the child and explain that they can only touch that one? My wife got our oldest a wireless keyboard and mouse from the thrift store when he was three or so that he liked to "work" on

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
    Kayne Red Robe
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 24
    Corvus wrote: »
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Does anyone here know if there's a way to 100% lock a computer so that the touchpad, keyboard, power button, and any other input available will be completely locked until some complex action is taken?

    Yes, this is pertinent to a 4 year old increasingly wanting to be on my computer and still not understanding any kind of punishment feedback for touching my computer. And I can't remove the computer from the situation.

    Remove the power cord and battery. It looks like for a laptop you can disable the power button. Maybe set up fingerprint requirements to log on? There are usb fingeprint readers if your laptop doesn't have one.


    Alternately, could you get them a spare keyboard from somewhere and give it to the child and explain that they can only touch that one? My wife got our oldest a wireless keyboard and mouse from the thrift store when he was three or so that he liked to "work" on

    He understands (with a disturbing amount of specificity for a 4 year old) exactly how computers work. His only failing at this point is being unable to reproduce a 4-6 number PIN to unlock devices, otherwise he'd constantly be in everything ever. And he knows roughly how to use a mouse, touchpad, and how to navigate using links. And also that letter keys are for letter things, and the space, enter, and arrow keys nominally control video functions. But if he gets frustrated, it's pound on keys time. And that he can turn the computer on and off with a button. And how to restart the computer to try and get in.

    Today he got frustrated and hit enough keys that he'd opened the BIOS. He'd been clicking through it when I got over to him.

    Since "don't touch daddy's computer you have this pad over here" hasn't worked, I'm not sure how well "here's an unhooked keyboard that doesn't give any feedback" would go. Because he knows that if he hits keys it's supposed to do "things".

    Basically my darling autistic kiddo is Very Good at electronics, inasmuch as he's got enough understanding of how they work to get to what he wants and find what he wants with staggering alacrity. Short of straight up removing the computer from the situation there's not much of anything I can currently do to keep him out of it if he wants in, and "time out if you touch the computer" seems to be more of an inconvenience and less of a deterrent.

    Long story short, he knows that what he wants is on my computer, he's bright enough to get there if I leave it unlocked and with a mouse available, and if not he knows how to reset or get to BIOS in an attempt to get around the PIN. :confused: And thus far nothing has deterred him from continuing to try to get in; he's like a cat who is told to behave and then left alone in the room.

    Kalnaur on
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  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Sounds like it's time for you to get very good at remembering to lock your pc anytime you leave it. Windows Key+L will do it. Pretend you're working on highly classified material.

    ShadowfireJaysonFour
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Or use one of those locking metal laptop briefcases.

    :so_raven:
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    It's a laptop? You still could use your height advantage when you're not using it.

    Also can I ask how did you end up with an autism diagnosis at four?

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 25
    Sounds like it's time for you to get very good at remembering to lock your pc anytime you leave it. Windows Key+L will do it. Pretend you're working on highly classified material.

    Oh, we've been on "lock screen" for about two weeks, but if my mouse is left down (like, I have to run to do a thing), he'll use it to endlessly restart the computer in an attempt to get in. And if not he'll start to press keys until he gets what he wants; he's hyperfocused. That's also how he got into the BIOS today. The lock screen is not safe if he can also interact with the keyboard or the mouse.
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    It's a laptop? You still could use your height advantage when you're not using it.

    Also can I ask how did you end up with an autism diagnosis at four?

    He got an autism diagnosis at . . . 3 I believe? He's speech delayed, texture averse, hyper-focuses, and before we started to work on his ability to be around people the noise and presence of more than 3 people would outright terrify him. So we took him in on our doctor's referral, and they assessed him as autistic.

    And while we were in there, the gal kept asking questions of "does he do this thing" and I'd be like, "yes, isn't that just usual?" and she'd be like, "yes, if you're on the spectrum it is" (paraphrasing , you understand), which . . . all the things that she was asking that I thought were usual were usual because I do them. :lol:

    I mean, at least it made a whole lot of sense after that of why I'm the more patient parent with him, we're just on a similar wavelength.

    Kalnaur on
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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Thank you for all of that information. My treatment with pediatrics is limited to anesthesia and I had no idea those qualities could be identified in someone so young.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Are you in any financial situation to get a cheap computer for the kid? When I was 4 my dad brought home the PC1 a little after it released (he was an engineer for IBM). I figured out pretty quickly that typing 'format a: b:' made both of the red lights blink and that shit was amazing to watch. I had no idea I was erasing the disks, just... enjoyed watching the lights blink. My mom got pissed, but dad pretty much just said "eh, I'll bring home new disks and make copies of them so we have backups, let him have fun."

    So coming from a place of privilege there, but... making a clone of an HDD, disconnecting the internet, and letting the kid go wild with a computer you don't care about might be a fun option.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Thank you for all of that information. My treatment with pediatrics is limited to anesthesia and I had no idea those qualities could be identified in someone so young.

    His quirks are very well defined, which even with the lack of verbal communication makes them quite obvious to basically everyone. Like, for a short bit in the 1 year old range he was making some sounds and then he just . . . stopped; only recently has he taken back up babbling and attempts at mimicry. He refuses to eat anything that isn't of puree consistency, treated chewing even on toys as more of a chore than a joy, and he gets so super hyper focused that I can say his name as I'm standing over him and have him not notice. He's in a pre-k class for kiddos with issues akin to his own, and that seems to help with some things, and speech therapy to help encourage him to talk.

    He's also a goof with a mischief streak and the "commercial laugh". You know, the one that you hear toddlers in ads having? He's brilliant (too smart for my own good) and my favorite tiny human, but he does have certain qualities that make certain traditional methods of deterrent . . . ineffective.
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    Are you in any financial situation to get a cheap computer for the kid? When I was 4 my dad brought home the PC1 a little after it released (he was an engineer for IBM). I figured out pretty quickly that typing 'format a: b:' made both of the red lights blink and that shit was amazing to watch. I had no idea I was erasing the disks, just... enjoyed watching the lights blink. My mom got pissed, but dad pretty much just said "eh, I'll bring home new disks and make copies of them so we have backups, let him have fun."

    So coming from a place of privilege there, but... making a clone of an HDD, disconnecting the internet, and letting the kid go wild with a computer you don't care about might be a fun option.

    I mean, we got him the pad for that reason (it was like, 50 bucks?) but what he wants. What he really wants? Is the synesthesia videos and his school videos, but he doesn't just want the videos, he wants to control everything about them so he can constantly rewind them or fast forward them to listen to them in different ways. All of which is difficult without connection to the internet. My wife knows the finances, I'm just the stay-at-home-dad, so I'm not sure on that front.

    Although.

    He found my older MSI computer the other day after I told him he didn't get to play with my computer at all, and he lugged the damn thing out, sat it next to me, and gave me puppy dog eyes. :lol:

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular


    Is there any actual proven whistle training, or is it really just "purse your lips and blow"

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    DisruptedCapitalistBrodyknitdan
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    I dunno, I didn't learn until I was like 10. I was missing my two top front teeth for a really long time, and when they came back in I could finally whistle.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    So, Toby likes to take small clip videos with his tablet.

    Last night the wife was bemoaning accidentally venting to the wrong work chat channel, and we were talking about how because she's union she's fine. I mentioned that other at-will employers might just say "you're fucking fired" and be done with you. All of a sudden, on repeat from his tablet, comes my voice, a clip of "you're fucking fi-". So, a laugh, a dad needs to watch it too, and a deleted video later and I'm mentioning that while she's not going to get in trouble for much, he's going to get me into deep water one day making a video clip out of context of me saying something like, "and then I said boil the babies!" and just playing it on repeat.

    "And then I said boil the babies!" plays instantly from his pad right after I finish my sentence. Perfectly clipped.

    I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. It got harder to breathe when he started playing it on repeat. Y'all, this kid is too smart for me. :lol:

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  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 25
    Toby has a Chromebook from his school so he can do Zoom meetings. We usually do them with his speech therapy person. We keep it in the office when it's not in use.

    Just now he requested to have it with a "peas peas peas", so the wife said here you go. The first thing he did on getting all logged in was try to set up a meeting with the speech therapy person. When I told him that wasn't available, he clicked on one of the letter form videos. Now, some of the early ones were done by his teacher, this is not one of those. This is a video on Youtube. He went directly from there to the top of the page, hit the three lines, and clicked on the history page, clicked on a rainbow domino video he and his mom watched after his last speech therapy session, and started that up.

    Using a touchpad. The kind you have to press in the entire thing to click. He's since selected several alphabet videos, including ones that use the same curriculum as they do at his school. I've tried to redirect him 5 times to no avail. He knows "OohTurb" is there, and by god it's got cool stuff dad. I just curated a list of his favorite synesthesia piano videos for him in the somewhat vain hope it keeps him busy.

    But this is the kid who only needed a single example of how the baby gates worked and boom, slide lock, lift gate, and there he went. He doesn't observe borders. He fixes them so they're no longer a problem and then proceeds on to the next one. I wish I could be mad, but that's going to serve him well. It's just right now . . . :eek:

    Edit: this is also why a disconnected computer wouldn't do anything to dissuade him from using a different computer; it's not just the computer he wants, it's a specific set of functions and abilities a computer has that he wants.

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