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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    No, watch the video, that’s how you put a baby to sleep.

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  • amethystoakamethystoak Registered User regular
    We gave up on sleep clothes with our kids rather quickly because they make them very snug. It's supposed to be for fire safety reasons, but really just make most brands not fit.

    I never understood this thing about fire safety in children's bed clothes. Did children suddenly combust prior to those laws getting passed?

    I looked it up a while ago because I was confused about it, too. I guess kids were more likely to encounter fire at night (maybe candles, or fireplaces, I'm not really sure) and loose clothing allows air to be between skin and clothing, allowing the flames to have more fuel. So having tight fitting clothing or fire retardant clothing for night time is safer.

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    When you’re trying to look professional and end up looking like a Jiangshi (a Chinese hopping Vampire).

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  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    edited April 11
    We gave up on sleep clothes with our kids rather quickly because they make them very snug. It's supposed to be for fire safety reasons, but really just make most brands not fit.

    I never understood this thing about fire safety in children's bed clothes. Did children suddenly combust prior to those laws getting passed?

    I looked it up a while ago because I was confused about it, too. I guess kids were more likely to encounter fire at night (maybe candles, or fireplaces, I'm not really sure) and loose clothing allows air to be between skin and clothing, allowing the flames to have more fuel. So having tight fitting clothing or fire retardant clothing for night time is safer.

    There was an episode of 99% Invisible where they talked about stuff like this.

    It has been so long since I’ve listened to it that I can’t even remember any salient points from it, but here’s a link (or look it up in your favorite podcast app)

    https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/kids-clothes-articles-of-interest-1/

    Perrsun on
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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Abigail has been so bad lately. She doesn’t listen and today was sent to her room multiple times, but kept doing things wrong. Every time I punish her, it’s just in one ear and out the other. Any parenting help or advice?

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie had another bad meltdown at school this morning.

    Running after me, crying so hard, begging me to take her home and pick her up early..


    Finally after the fourth sobbing hug, another of the boys in her class came out and held her hand and took her in.

    She was doing great at drop off until the end of last weeks.

    Long weekends where she's with us all the time seem to be complicating things

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Abigail has been so bad lately. She doesn’t listen and today was sent to her room multiple times, but kept doing things wrong. Every time I punish her, it’s just in one ear and out the other. Any parenting help or advice?

    Action:consequences. If Abigail does/refuses X, then consequence Y occurs. If she complains about Y, then tell her she chose to do X. Repeat for the next 16 years. Hope she understands it before she leaves for college. Change consequence Y to be age appropriate.

    Grumpy sarcasm aside: What kind of punishment are you currently at and does it make enough of an impression on her? I always have difficulty with punishment, I hate conflict, but my kid loves it when he is in a foul mood.

    KalnaurMegaMan001Brody
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Abigail has been so bad lately. She doesn’t listen and today was sent to her room multiple times, but kept doing things wrong. Every time I punish her, it’s just in one ear and out the other. Any parenting help or advice?

    How old? Sending kids to their room isnt really much of a punishment either.

    It's about consistency and sticking to the consequences.

    The other thing to keep in mind is give Abigail opportunities to make her own decisions. For example, give kids choices not options. Such as, she needs to brush her teeth, would she like to do it before or after getting dressed. So, she gets to decide how things proceed, but does not get to choose whether or not to do something.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    I loved being in my room as a kid, wasn’t a punishment at all.

    The not listening is super annoying, happens with my 4 year old all the time, but honestly, at that age I don’t think he’s always capable of listening all the time. He’s too focussed on making fart jokes or spinning in a circle or whatever.

    If punishment isn’t working, you may need another approach, like figuring out what is going on with her when it’s happening.

    :so_raven:
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  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    We watched The Greatest Showman last night and that movie slaps, holy cow. I have my share of nostalgia about the things I love from my childhood but goddamn family movies are better now than they were 30 years ago.

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Peen wrote: »
    We watched The Greatest Showman last night and that movie slaps, holy cow. I have my share of nostalgia about the things I love from my childhood but goddamn family movies are better now than they were 30 years ago.
    A bit long, but Patrick Willems explaining why he of all people* liked that movie was both hilarious and illuminating.


    *Cynical and slightly odd film critic

    Peen
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Well, I didn't want to bog down my post in details, but why not extrapolate a bit.

    Abigail (5.5-years old) hasn't been listening much in the last year. Like, she gets distracted easily and doesn't like to make eye contact when I'm talking to her. I usually have to get down to her level and tell her to look at me when I need to tell her something. I'm also making her repeat what I say to prove she's listening, which only works 50% of the time.

    Anyway, yesterday was just a rollercoaster of bad behavior. It started with the trampoline. We got them a small indoor trampoline for Christamas. They don't use it often, but when the do, the sometimes add toys in there. I've repeatedly warned them not to put toys in there since it's dangerous, but they keep doing it.

    Well, I left them alone to play, and sure enough, I came upstairs to find it full of toys. I got "dad mad" (I'm not really angry, but put on a show) and started emptying the trampoline. I told them it was off limits for the rest of the day, which I've done in the past by flipping it over. Then they had to go to their rooms for 10 minutes.

    Abigail was crying and saying sorry, but I stood firm. Off they went, their time passed, then they came back downstairs. I told them not to be bad and we moved on. Come back later and they've put toys on top the flipped trampoline. I get angry (this time more for real), clear it off and warn them to not do that again.

    After lunch, I get my wife a coffee. When I get back, they've put toys on top of the trampoline again. Now I'm actually mad. I send them to their rooms for 20 minutes. As I'm clearing out the toys, I see liquid on top the trampoline. Abigail took her grape juice to the play room and poured some of it on the top of the trampoline. Thankfully, the trampoline mesh is super tight and the liquid pooled up top, with only a little bit dripping down to the carpet.

    I'm so livid now. The non-stop disrespect and blatant ignoring of me has really set me off. After they get out of their rooms (tears in face, etc), I sit them both down and explain that they are "this close" to pushing daddy over the edge. If they do ANYTHING bad again, they are going into Punishment Time™.

    Things mellow out a bit, we have dinner, and I'm thinking that they finally got it. My wife and I are finishing up dinner and I let the kids go play again. We eat, I clean up, and we have about 1 hour left before bed. But the kids have been upstairs in their rooms playing, something they typically don't do, and it's been quiet for too long. I go upstairs and hear them in the bathroom. Uh oh....

    I open the door and see that they've filled my son's little potty chair with soap and water and have submerged the remote control for their remote control car into the potty. The car is also wet, so I'm guessing it got dunked as well.

    I snapped and started yelling at them. I pointed out that they are destroying their toys and that this was electronic and legitimately dangerous. Both of the got placed into Punishment Time™ until Saturday. That meant no iPad or snacks/treats all week. Crying and apologies were abound, but they fell on deaf ears. I wasn't having it. I told Abigail that she was behaving badly and that I was disappointed with her. When she tried to throw her 3-year old brother under the bus, I told her it didn't matter because she was older and knows better.

    Then I get down to eye level and told them in a very serious voice that if they are bad during Punishment Time™, they will not get to see grandma this weekend (truly the worst possible punishment to them....and the wife and I since it's our time to hang out and unwind). In addition, if Abigail does naughty things this week, I'll revoke her Ranma 1/2 story time and bed (I've been reading her the graphic novels and she's fallen in love with it).

    Today was day one and it started sinking in. No iPad in the morning and they only got to eat what I offered them. It was tough on them, but I'm standing firm. Hopefully Punishment Time™ will have a lasting effect on them and sink in.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited April 12
    I can't tell you how to raise your kids, but sending them to their room for that long is generally not adviced, especially for a 3 year old. It just removes them from the situation and makes them feel miserable, but the effect of "does X, Y happens" is lost after a few minutes. Also, Abigail is the oldest, but she is still very young. She probably takes the lead when they play together, bur she is only 5.5. how long can she realistically entertain herself without exploring her boundaries?

    Cancelling their time with grandma is an odd punishment, how does she feel about this? You are punishing her as much as you are punishing your children, after all.

    Also, you got mad-mad instead of dad-mad, that is pretty wild. You are only human, so getting mad happens, but those kinds of emotions can be difficult for children to deal with. They look at how you deal with your emotions. Once you calm down you could try talking it over and explain what happened and maybe even apologize for raising your voice or using bad words. I know I have to when something gets to me.

    With regards to them dunking their electrical toys in water: I would have just taken those away for a few weeks, tell them they broke it. The fact they came up with that "game" makes it clear to me that they have no idea how fragile toys can be.

    *E: fixed typos

    Aldo on
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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    I mean, the verbal warnings about the trampoline are clearly not working. Time to put it away for a while and save all of you the stress, and it only comes out when adult supervision is possible. This can be good in a couple of ways. Kids get bored of toys, but if something goes away for a while and then comes back it's like a brand new toy. We have some things that mostly live in the garage and come out for a while, and then go away again.

    My son is almost 5, so not far behind your daughter age wise. The not listening and getting what we're talking about, I think is totally normal, if incredibly frustrating! I don't think kids that age understand respect, it's not a concept they get. I have had some of the same struggles with verbal instructions not registering or getting respected. Sometimes you just have to remove the source of the frustration if the kids either won't or can't absorb the rules.

    I've gotten angry with my oldest son a lot over the years, and I hate doing it. I feel like shit after, and it just makes him afraid of me. It doesn't help any of us. When I find myself starting to boil over I try to leave the room until I can dial it back down. When we get angry and resort to escalating punishments with little kids, I think mostly they are learning to be scared of us. I think Aldo is right that it is important to explain what happened to the kids when you got mad, and probably should consider even apologizing. I'm not saying this to be critical, I've done this myself a few times.

    :so_raven:
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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    I mean, the verbal warnings about the trampoline are clearly not working. Time to put it away for a while and save all of you the stress, and it only comes out when adult supervision is possible. This can be good in a couple of ways. Kids get bored of toys, but if something goes away for a while and then comes back it's like a brand new toy. We have some things that mostly live in the garage and come out for a while, and then go away again.

    My son is almost 5, so not far behind your daughter age wise. The not listening and getting what we're talking about, I think is totally normal, if incredibly frustrating! I don't think kids that age understand respect, it's not a concept they get. I have had some of the same struggles with verbal instructions not registering or getting respected. Sometimes you just have to remove the source of the frustration if the kids either won't or can't absorb the rules.

    I've gotten angry with my oldest son a lot over the years, and I hate doing it. I feel like shit after, and it just makes him afraid of me. It doesn't help any of us. When I find myself starting to boil over I try to leave the room until I can dial it back down. When we get angry and resort to escalating punishments with little kids, I think mostly they are learning to be scared of us. I think Aldo is right that it is important to explain what happened to the kids when you got mad, and probably should consider even apologizing. I'm not saying this to be critical, I've done this myself a few times.

    Although then you end up in the situation where in the past, you have apologized for over reacting (or similar), and then they do something, and you respond with a moderate amount of annoyance/heat, because its a thing you told them not to do and they did it anyways, and they come over over, very sad, and say "its ok, you over reacted", and you have to try very hard not to lose your shit over that. I'm already trying my best to remain calm while also making it clear that wasn't ok, acting like I'm over reacting over it certainly isn't helping to defuse the situation.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    There's a scale right, you don't apologize for every small amount of raised voice or firmer tone.

    :so_raven:
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  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Yeah, I'm not sure sometimes if it's Toby's age or being autistic, but he's 4 and there's a rule of "no touching Daddy's computer". But he does, and then he gets the timeout chair for 5 minutes and I periodically remind him or talk to him calmly through the entire time why he's there, how he can avoid it, etc. The rule is there for several reasons, not the least of which is that he's in exploration mode and the last thing I need is for him to accidentally hard wipe the drive or something (you laugh but he's accidentally gotten into the BIOS before). Now, another part of that has been letting him play on the Chromebook the school has lent us for kid stuff. And he's exploring and finding time he gets bored of it (because regardless of anything else, these little ones get bored). Also, I have to agree with the respect angle, as well as the fear angle, in that I don't think he really groks respect as a concept, and I don't want him to particularly fear me, but I do need him to listen, because I'm trying to transfer this lesson (don't touch this computer) into at least two broader lessons ("don't touch the oven or this dead bird body or whatever other thing" as well as "trust dad when he says no don't touch"). And I'm trying to encourage him to ask why not after he doesn't touch it, because if he needs the reason I'll give it to him, but I need him to listen, bottom line.

    I also agree that if something is causing more trouble than it's worth, usually it's best to put the object in time out if you can. If you can't (there's no current good place to set up my computer for example), then you have to give them an alternative, but otherwise it's good to just make the thing go away for a bit. He had a tent we got him and he loves it but if it's out for too long he starts to destroy it utterly, so when he starts getting rough with it, just even an indication, it goes away. And when it comes back out it's even more exciting.

    As a note, though it's got probably less than a 20% chance of sticking, you can explain to the littles that the thing is going away because they clearly can't handle it, and not give in to them saying they can because they clearly can't. And then when they ask for it out again in a bit, you remind them about last time, and make it clear that the moment anything even slightly like that happens, it goes away again. Possibly for longer this time? Who knows?

    Now, I do know he at least understands what's going on, because in time out the other day I asked him if he knew why he was in the chair and he pointed to my computer and said (as one word "youtowedmenottodoodit". Yes, I told him not to do it and he did it anyways, I responded. So he gets it, it's just about getting him to follow through with the understanding, and that's the real trick. That's where I guess it could be said that the parenting comes in; that need for patience, consistency, and a willingness to retread the same lesson as long as it takes.

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  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Not to brag, but my son and I get to have some quality time together next week. We get to get our first covid shots together. My wife (teacher) already has her first, so by Memorial Day, my house will be all ready to go out together and hug strangers and lick salad bar sneeze guards. I'm really excited because I've heard the chip Bill Gates included in the shot should make our cell phone reception improve too.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I very very rarely need to punish Ellie.

    Usually it involves turning off the videos that she's watching. Which turns into crying, that I ignore.

    If she keeps pushing whatever button, she ends up on the steps. Each step is 30 seconds. She usually gets you to the fourth step (2 minutes) before we settle her there until she calms mostly down.

    Then we talk about what she did and why it was bad etc.


    But we're lucky in a way that it's just her. She doesn't have a younger sibling to escalate things with.

    As far as respecting toys and the like, she seems to get it mostly. But if she's broken something, she's had to clean it up and it's pointed out to her just how much she broke out and to not do again.

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    My daughter is very strong-willed and likes to be in the spotlight. Apparently at school, she always chooses the "Teacher helper" role whenever she can. I love that about her and don't want to drive that out of her, but for the love of god, just listen to what I'm saying from time to time.

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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    I feel like those are good attributes but they can lead to being the really annoying girl in class.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    @MNC Dover

    I've been thinking about your problem since you first posted it and this is what I came up with.

    I think you are expecting too much out of your daughter in terms of her ability to internalize her mistakes and associated punishment and act different.

    You said yourself she's certainly remorseful after acting this way and clearly upset when she disappoints you and that's a very good thing. Where I think you're going in the wrong direction is associating her persistent bad behavior with disrespecting you. I don't think it has anything to do with not respecting you as a parent, but more that she's a five year old and an idiot - because all children that age are more or less stupid when it comes to correcting behaviors and doing what they're told.

    I think you should switch up your punishments. Sending her to her room for that long of a time is doing more harm and stress than actually linking a consequence to her behavior. Maybe try a timeout corner, one minute per year of age, where she can still see you (or your partner) so she knows she hasn't been sent away, but at same time, is still engaging in the punishment.

    As far as the trampoline is concerned, I agree with @Corvus, and I would just take away the trampoline all together. She's demonstrated she can't use it safely, so she doesn't get it for X period of time. I also really want to warn you about using visiting anyone in the kid's life (particularly a family member) as punishment. You don't want to turn Grandma into a reward or a punishment, Grandma's ideally going to be an active part of your daughter's life for a long time - you don't want to associate behavior with being able to see her Grandma. You sure as hell don't want the conversation WITH Grandma about why that visit doesn't get to happen.

    Reading and re-reading what happened that day feels, to me, like just an all around Bad Day. Shake it off, keep your own feelings in check and when you feel yourself starting to get to the snapping point you need to back away and regroup.

    For what its worth, just last night Ripley (3 yo girl) slammed her door in my face while my fingers were in the doorframe and broke my pinky nail (which is currently swollen like a mother) and I let out the loudest "FUCK!" that I think I have ever done and it scared the ever loving shit out of my daughter. After I made sure the finger wasn't broken and she had stopped hyperventilating, we had a sit down where I explained this is why we don't slam doors when we're mad and she really hurt me.

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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    I will also add that punishments in general are not considered to work that well. Punishments (the definition) is essentially a non linked event due to undesirable behaviour. Kids don’t have the cognitive ability to regulate their behaviour to prevent the punishment that is far away even if the kid hates the punishment. Banning them from from their grandmother means come Saturday, they are going really struggle to remember the reason why they aren’t seeing grandma and become resentful and not likely identify the link with regards to their behaviour.

    Consequences on the other hand are clear, logical, concise, have a legitimate link to the behaviour involved and are fast acting. They act unsafe, they get a warning, informed of the consequence, and if they continue it’s enacted. If kids aren’t acting safely around other kids, they’re told if they act unsafe they get removed from the situation in the idea of a time out. If they are unsafe on a trampoline, the trampoline gets put away. The remotes one is a tougher one, but I agree with Aldo, they just get put away for a while.

    I will also add, that you’re venting so I’m not saying you are being a bad person, but language in terms of pushing daddy over the edge isn’t good language for a kid to hear. You’re the adult here and that day did suck but they aren’t adults and it is unfair to give them the responsibility of your mood. You can tell them you are upset sure, but you are upset because people aren’t acting safely and responsibly, not because you aren’t being listened to.

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  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    MNC It seems like, purely from your narrative, that your 5.5 year old and 3 year old had a lot of unstructured time where they were expected to manage their own behavior and "just play." Now I'm going to say a series of things you probably already know but are worth repeating: unstructured time for a 5.5 year old and a 3 year old is going to be pretty genuinely untethered from what we as adults think of as normal or acceptable behavior because they don't have their own internal compasses fully developed yet and will very much do whatever seems like a good idea in the moment. This applies more to your 3 year old, but your 5.5 year old has probably figured out that the 3 year old will go along with whatever she's doing and that adds a spicy element of control that might lead to Some Stuff as she gets reinforcement from a sibling that whatever she's doing is a good idea.

    It's also worth remembering that negative attention is still attention and that kids pick up pretty quickly that if they do stuff that's out of bounds they'll get attention from their parent/authority figure. An awful lot of "bad" behavior, especially bad repeated behavior, is attention seeking behavior.

    Something that worked for us when our kids were little and being "bad" was to reset the situation with a small structured activity. Some little art project, shared game, read a book, even a TV show together, something that got them a small amount of our attention and personal time but wasn't demanding in terms of resources of planning. Kids are little tiny attention vortexes, they want your attention more than anything, it's like they're flowers and your attention is sunshine. All of the other stuff you do sustains them but your genuine focused attention nourishes them, it's the single most exhausting and challenging part of being a parent. We work so hard to keep the infrastructure around them functioning (cook the meals, clean the house, do the laundry, grab any moment for ourselves) but sometimes they just want 2 minutes of our undivided attention.

    To be clear, don't think you're not already doing that stuff, you seem like a good dad! But all of this bears repeating because it can solve so, so many problems.

    MNC DoverShadowfireVivixenneCorvus
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I want to make something clear, @MNC Dover , based on what you've written I think you're a Good Dad who puts a lot of thought on how to treat your kids the right way and the fact you are seeking advice about how to better speaks volumes about your character.

    Also, thank you for your honesty and candor.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Well, I sat my daughter down today and told her I'm giving back the iPad tomorrow instead of losing it all week. Based on what folks said here, and talks with other people I know, the punishment should be more focused and time relevant. I told her she's in a probation period now, so if she's does something bad again the iPad goes away again.

    Thanks for the help and honesty everyone. I'm trying to be a good parent, and while most people think I am, I never truly believe it myself. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    For what it's worth I never think I'm a good parent either. From what I can tell people who are think they suck at parenting and keep trying to do better are the best ones.

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  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    I try to do good. I assume I can always do better.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    I'm good at folding paper airplanes, so clearly I'm the best parent ever.

    Please don't tell anyone I've just been following this guy's website https://www.coolpaperairplanes.com/

    CalicaElvenshae
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    I try to do good. I assume I can always do better.

    Along this line, whenever my daughter says she wants to be like me, I always tell her "that's super cool, but I want you to do better and be you." Because kids are growing up better people than I was, and I want her to keep that going.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    I thought I’d been pretty good about watching my language around the kids but a few weeks ago I was driving #1 to daycare and talking about how we might have gone somewhere more often if not for the virus and he goes “I wish this fucking coronavirus would go away”.

    Anyhow, I had to explain about not using that word, which he hasn’t done since but I was kind of proud he used it appropriately.

    :so_raven:
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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Man, we just don't care about swearing. We try to get the kiddo to tamp down and use appropriate words, but I know the first time we get called by the school about her calling someone an asshole our response is going to be "well, they were probably an asshole yeah?"

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  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    edited April 14
    am I being a wuss or is 2.5 hours of 6 month old time with no backup a lot of 6 month old time

    I love her but boy does she need constant entertainment

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    am I being a wuss or is 2.5 hours of 6 month old time with no backup a lot of 6 month old time

    I love her but boy does she need constant entertainment

    I mean, it is, yeah. It's exhausting. It's also not exactly uncommon, imo, so... have fun :D

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    I’d say 2.5 hours with my 4 year old is harder than the same amount of time with my six month old.

    But when I had my first kid, things we’re definitely kind of overwhelming. Kids are a lot!

    I would also say that a six month old can be entertained by some pretty simple things. I’m the past two days our baby had had his mind blown by watching the dryer and the roomba.

    :so_raven:
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  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited April 14
    Does anyone else here follow the BigLittleFeelings insta account or have bought their toddler course?

    I’m a huge fan of them and their work thus far because so much of their principles line up with my own professional therapeutic frameworks, but I’m mindful I’m likely a bit biased as a result. It’s very much in line with my training and how I engage and work with my clients and their parents, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively the best or most effective way to go about things. So I’m just kinda wondering what other folks think of it.

    Btw if anyone has a toddler aged 1-5, even just following their insta for the first few months of Theia’s second year of life has been a MASSIVE help to me. I’ve since bought the course as well. I might be familiar with what they’re talking about on a clinical level but it’s very different to hear it put in toddler-parenting terms.

    They’ve also just done a 2-part series on their insta about disability and raising anti-ableist kids, which they did by having their insta account taken over by a disability advocate to centre a disabled voice. Seemed really well-considered.

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  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited April 14
    Aioua wrote: »
    am I being a wuss or is 2.5 hours of 6 month old time with no backup a lot of 6 month old time

    I love her but boy does she need constant entertainment

    This was around the time that I started signing up for swimming class and music class and any other activity I could find, purely because she needed so much stimulation to stay chill and happy!

    Being a baby’s sole source of entertainment is EXHAUSTING. You’re definitely not a wuss. I remember just dreading the day if we didn’t have plans or company for at least part of the day.

    Vivixenne on
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  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    At least at 6 months she wasn't so mobile. Now at 18 months she's a little explore, always running around and has figured out how to climb on chairs and open doors.

    The midwife told us how you never knew if your baby turns into one that prefers to sit in her play area and be content with their area and watch alot or if you get a more active one. This one turned out to be definetly the latter. Playing and entertaining her is accordingly physically exhausting.

  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    am I being a wuss or is 2.5 hours of 6 month old time with no backup a lot of 6 month old time

    I love her but boy does she need constant entertainment

    Also, don't be afraid of letting them entertain themselves a bit too. The primary "button" they have at that age is cry, but often if you let them cry for a moment, to they'll get bored of crying and try to play with stuff instead. The mats with the overhanging stuff was great then too.
    Re: swearing. One of my favorite moments is still my 18 month old excited to show me all the drawings him and his class put up in the class mudroom. I asked which was his, he froze and deadpanned "shit". It was all I could do from falling over laughing.

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  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Does anyone else here follow the BigLittleFeelings insta account or have bought their toddler course?

    I’m a huge fan of them and their work thus far because so much of their principles line up with my own professional therapeutic frameworks, but I’m mindful I’m likely a bit biased as a result. It’s very much in line with my training and how I engage and work with my clients and their parents, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively the best or most effective way to go about things. So I’m just kinda wondering what other folks think of it.

    Btw if anyone has a toddler aged 1-5, even just following their insta for the first few months of Theia’s second year of life has been a MASSIVE help to me. I’ve since bought the course as well. I might be familiar with what they’re talking about on a clinical level but it’s very different to hear it put in toddler-parenting terms.

    They’ve also just done a 2-part series on their insta about disability and raising anti-ableist kids, which they did by having their insta account taken over by a disability advocate to centre a disabled voice. Seemed really well-considered.

    Mrs. Red Robe really likes them and bought the course. We've watched a bit of it and I am ashamed to say something about the way the two ladies talk puts me off entirely. Need to get back in there and try again because what they're saying makes sense but for whatever reason the way they say it puts my hackles up.

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