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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Our favourite was when William picked up a portion of mushroom quiche and one of the mushrooms rolled onto the floor.

    "Oh bollocks...my mushroom fell out"

    Kayne Red RobeDisruptedCapitalisthonovereSporkAndrewShadowfirePeenMNC DoverkimeBrodySeptusmrpakuElvenshaeCalicaschuss
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    The profanity issue is where me and my wife are on different pages. I feel that with profanity, context is everything and these words are a part of my daily vocabulary. She wants us to stop swearing all together. I have told her that's really unlikely, but I'll try.

    The worst thing Ripley has said was calling things "stupid", which weirdly bothered me. We had a talk about using that word and I made it clear we do not call people stupid

    Now that I think about it it would bother me more if she called a peer stupid instead of an asshole.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    ShadowfireKalnaurmrpakuPerrsunThro
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    We decided early on that we'd much rather hear Ellie curse than hear her use a slur of any kind. I'd rather she yell out "fuck" than call another kid an idiot.

    That doesn't mean that I'm encouraging cursing, and I have cleaned my own language up a lot.

    But the principle is the same.

  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Does anyone else here follow the BigLittleFeelings insta account or have bought their toddler course?

    I’m a huge fan of them and their work thus far because so much of their principles line up with my own professional therapeutic frameworks, but I’m mindful I’m likely a bit biased as a result. It’s very much in line with my training and how I engage and work with my clients and their parents, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively the best or most effective way to go about things. So I’m just kinda wondering what other folks think of it.

    Btw if anyone has a toddler aged 1-5, even just following their insta for the first few months of Theia’s second year of life has been a MASSIVE help to me. I’ve since bought the course as well. I might be familiar with what they’re talking about on a clinical level but it’s very different to hear it put in toddler-parenting terms.

    They’ve also just done a 2-part series on their insta about disability and raising anti-ableist kids, which they did by having their insta account taken over by a disability advocate to centre a disabled voice. Seemed really well-considered.

    Mrs. Red Robe really likes them and bought the course. We've watched a bit of it and I am ashamed to say something about the way the two ladies talk puts me off entirely. Need to get back in there and try again because what they're saying makes sense but for whatever reason the way they say it puts my hackles up.

    I am actually completely in the same boat. It improves in the later modules but it was definitely off-putting at first.

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    And cross-posting to my SE++ parents:

    Yeesh, when did she get so big?

    sqkong08rkff.jpg

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    am I being a wuss or is 2.5 hours of 6 month old time with no backup a lot of 6 month old time

    I love her but boy does she need constant entertainment

    Also, don't be afraid of letting them entertain themselves a bit too. The primary "button" they have at that age is cry, but often if you let them cry for a moment, to they'll get bored of crying and try to play with stuff instead. The mats with the overhanging stuff was great then too.
    Re: swearing. One of my favorite moments is still my 18 month old excited to show me all the drawings him and his class put up in the class mudroom. I asked which was his, he froze and deadpanned "shit". It was all I could do from falling over laughing.

    https://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/

    They should entertain themselves, if you can make it work.

    :so_raven:
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 14
    Coming at it from the other angle.

    You are all adults, you know when it is appropriate to swear and when it is not appropriate to swear. Everyone I’ve met, is all, watch out for the person, or people in this job, they all sear a lot, but none of them swear more than teachers. We just don’t it in front of the fucking kids.

    Young people on the other hand if they don’t get asked to watch their language at home, just constant swear and lack the filter to turn it off and code switch. A lot of people are not going to be super happy if the person at McDonald’s asks you if you want a fucking coke.

    It’s also, I will add, it is not great to be constantly sworn at in your place of work.

    And look, your kid might be able to mostly swear appropriately, that’s good, but kids then see it is unfair, that then that one Kid can swear but yet I can’t call this work sheet, and every other worksheet I’ve seen a piece of shit.

    Blake T on
    Peenamethystoak
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    It’s also, I will add, it is not great to be constantly sworn at in your place of work.
    Oh yeah, at work I can terminate a call if someone starts using foul language at me. No excuses. Just one warning or they're done. I will then use my lunch break to tell coworkers about this goosing goose on the phone. :snap:

  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Does anyone else here follow the BigLittleFeelings insta account or have bought their toddler course?

    I’m a huge fan of them and their work thus far because so much of their principles line up with my own professional therapeutic frameworks, but I’m mindful I’m likely a bit biased as a result. It’s very much in line with my training and how I engage and work with my clients and their parents, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively the best or most effective way to go about things. So I’m just kinda wondering what other folks think of it.

    Btw if anyone has a toddler aged 1-5, even just following their insta for the first few months of Theia’s second year of life has been a MASSIVE help to me. I’ve since bought the course as well. I might be familiar with what they’re talking about on a clinical level but it’s very different to hear it put in toddler-parenting terms.

    They’ve also just done a 2-part series on their insta about disability and raising anti-ableist kids, which they did by having their insta account taken over by a disability advocate to centre a disabled voice. Seemed really well-considered.

    Mrs. Red Robe really likes them and bought the course. We've watched a bit of it and I am ashamed to say something about the way the two ladies talk puts me off entirely. Need to get back in there and try again because what they're saying makes sense but for whatever reason the way they say it puts my hackles up.

    I am actually completely in the same boat. It improves in the later modules but it was definitely off-putting at first.

    We powered through a bit of the course last night and it's very funny and kind of embarrassing how much the advice for parenting toddlers and the lessons from my management and leadership classes line up.

    Set firm boundaries
    Be consistent
    Say what you're going to do and then do it
    Let them take ownership of a small part of the process
    &c.

    AldoVivixennehonovereBrodyPeenElvenshae
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Does anyone else here follow the BigLittleFeelings insta account or have bought their toddler course?

    I’m a huge fan of them and their work thus far because so much of their principles line up with my own professional therapeutic frameworks, but I’m mindful I’m likely a bit biased as a result. It’s very much in line with my training and how I engage and work with my clients and their parents, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively the best or most effective way to go about things. So I’m just kinda wondering what other folks think of it.

    Btw if anyone has a toddler aged 1-5, even just following their insta for the first few months of Theia’s second year of life has been a MASSIVE help to me. I’ve since bought the course as well. I might be familiar with what they’re talking about on a clinical level but it’s very different to hear it put in toddler-parenting terms.

    They’ve also just done a 2-part series on their insta about disability and raising anti-ableist kids, which they did by having their insta account taken over by a disability advocate to centre a disabled voice. Seemed really well-considered.

    Mrs. Red Robe really likes them and bought the course. We've watched a bit of it and I am ashamed to say something about the way the two ladies talk puts me off entirely. Need to get back in there and try again because what they're saying makes sense but for whatever reason the way they say it puts my hackles up.

    I am actually completely in the same boat. It improves in the later modules but it was definitely off-putting at first.

    We powered through a bit of the course last night and it's very funny and kind of embarrassing how much the advice for parenting toddlers and the lessons from my management and leadership classes line up.

    Set firm boundaries
    Be consistent
    Say what you're going to do and then do it
    Let them take ownership of a small part of the process
    &c.

    Oh, absolutely. Because humans at large are good with predictability and limits, ownership breeds accountability, and empowerment is a good way to help people feel valued and important while also giving them an opportunity to try/use new skills.

    As a someone who works in youth mental health, a lot of it feels like common sense, too, because it draws so heavily from how we conceptualize human development and behaviour. But also as someone who works in this field, it’s definitely NOT common sense for many families.

    Like, naming feelings? ALL feelings are okay? But strong boundaries around the expression of ALL feelings is ALSO okay? That’s so new to so many parents I work with, I’ve got a whole “script” I follow for how to get them on board with this.

    You get stuck between the way you were parented and what the evidence tells us about how our brains work, the former of which is altered by retrospect and the latter of which is constantly changing due to new data. Sorting through which bits are worth keeping from both is very difficult, and that’s before you even account for how you and your partner actually WANT to parent.

    The course has been a good way for me to keep my parenting hat on at home rather than my clinician one. Applying stuff you know professionally to your personal life feels weird and you often miss out on a lot of nuance that you don’t even really know is there until it creates a problem (it’s why you shouldn’t do surgery on your family, for example), so for me it’s handy to have a whole other language to use as a parent vs what I’d use as a clinician. It helps me maintain that boundary between personal and professional stuff, too.

    It’s also just different when it’s your own kid.

    I am also someone who is very, very comfortable setting strict boundaries in general, so it’s good for me to know what’s age-appropriate and what’s not in this context.

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
    Corvus
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited April 15
    In short, pretty much all of us are one out-of-toilet-paper-in-a-public-bathroom day from behaving like toddlers.

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited April 15
    My wife and I are trying very intentionally to break some of the generational patterns of how we were parented. Because her parents are much younger than mine, and she has living grandparents, I can see the long lasting impacts of how people are raised. It isn't always pretty.

    For example, recently my oldest got a minor scrape while he was spending time with a family member. He was very upset, and instead of comforting him and acknowledging how he felt, the family member was just talking at him telling him "it's ok" "you're tough", etc, while he was extremely distressed. None of that was helping him at all, and was just telling him that people were going to ignore his feelings, and not comfort him when he needed it. All he needed was a hug and silence while he processed his emotions and his injury, which is what I did.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
    mrpakuKalnaurlonelyahavaVivixenneDisruptedCapitalistBrodyMegaMan001JaysonFour
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    My wife and I are trying very intentionally to break some of the generational patterns of how we were parented. Because her parents are much younger than mine, and she has living grandparents, I can see the long lasting impacts of how people are raised. It isn't always pretty.

    For example, recently my oldest got a minor scrape while he was spending time with a family member. He was very upset, and instead of comforting him and acknowledging how he felt, the family member was just talking at him telling him "it's ok" "you're tough", etc, while he was extremely distressed. None of that was helping him at all, and was just telling him that people were going to ignore his feelings, and not comfort him when he needed it. All he needed was a hug and silence while he processed his emotions and his injury, which is what I did.

    Kudos to you. Judging by the questions and stories here there are a lot of us trying to break shitty generational parenting.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    MNC DoverKayne Red RobeShadowfireAldoCorvusmrpakuJaysonFour
  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    That process is extra fun when the older generation is living with you. :|

    MNC DoverCorvusElvenshaeJaysonFour
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    Ugh. Little fella is congested snotty. Which is no fun on its own, because he’s sad and mad about it. And also because while sleeping, when he rolls off his side, he gets clogged up, and wakes up unhappy.

    Last nights experiments show this happens approximately once an hour. I am very tired.

    The bigger problem is that, of course, congestion is a covid symptom. If he’s not cleared up by Monday, we’re going to have to call the daycare, and keep him out for a few days while he gets tested.Which is going to make work less than happy - we’re slammed right now, and will be for the next week, so having 2-3 days off on babyWatch won’t go over well.

    I mean, they’re not monsters, they’ll give me the time off, it’s just slopping more work onto other people who are already just above water.

    Anyway, guess we’ll seeeese

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    The 15 foot circular trampoline is assembled and the bouncing begins.

    Now I just need to brush up on my First Aid.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    ElvenshaeBrodyKayne Red RobeJaysonFourPeen
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 17
    trampolines have never not scared the shit out of me.
    like, I'd get on one, start jumping, realize how minor a fuck up it would take to break a limb or kill me outright, get off and have small anxiety attack.

    oh also I taught my little cousin "no matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall on your pants." and his mom was like

    "you've got a rhyme for that?"
    "of course, this is old knowledge."

    and my dad calls from the other room

    "he's right, I taught him that rhyme and my dad taught me."

    Depressperado on
    KalnaurShadowfireAiouakimeMNC DoverAldoCalicahonovereProlegomenaElvenshaeBrodyKayne Red RobeJaysonFourPeenCorvusLindsay LohanknitdanFishman
  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    edited April 18
    trampolines have never not scared the shit out of me.
    like, I'd get on one, start jumping, realize how minor a fuck up it would take to break a limb or kill me outright, get off and have small anxiety attack.

    oh also I taught my little cousin "no matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall on your pants." and his mom was like

    "you've got a rhyme for that?"
    "of course, this is old knowledge."

    and my dad calls from the other room

    "he's right, I taught him that rhyme and my dad taught me."

    This got me thinking about the kind of wisdom passed down from mothers to daughters, and now I'm depressed.

    Calica on
    Jedoc wrote: »
    The GOP cares about babies until they're born, soldiers until they're in need of care, and families until they interfere with stockholder dividends.
    lonelyahavaKalnaurDepressperadoknitdan
  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    I first encountered that rhyme in Stephen King's IT (the book)

    640qocnq4ske.gif
    Depressperado
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited April 18
    Today my son ate his McDonald's by dipping it in water then eating it...

    He's also been licking some ancient metal fence poles when we visited a county house. We were looking at some deer and he threw his beaker through the fence.

    I had to then get a stick to pull the beaker towards me, much to the consternation of the watching deer.

    All completely normal.

    SharpyVII on
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »

    He's also been licking some ancient metal fence poles when we visited a county house.

    Must be an iron deficiency

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    Kayne Red RobeDepressperadoElvenshaeBrody
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    My wife does this thing where if she thinks I'm trying to look nice for her she will ask me if I am "peacocking" for her.

    Today I was on the couch in my pajamas pants with my legs spread at a comfortable width and she bounced her eyes and ask if I was peacocking.

    I snickered, but Ripley overheard and started chanting "Daddy Peaaaaaaaa-cock-iiiinnnggggg" repeatedly and it was the goddamn funniest thing I've ever seen and I kept laughing and so she kept saying it and lord it was so much nicer than her saying her usual emotionally destroying mean shit

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    MNC DoverElvenshaeBrodysponoFishman
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    Small person is now officially home from daycare with potential covid symptoms. He’s not running a fever, so chances are good he just has a cold, but (reasonably) they want a doctors note or a negative test before he goes back.

    Thankfully they can actually swab test 6 month olds, or we’d have to go to the ER.

    BrodyBanzai5150
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular


    The newest addition to Cirque, everyone

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Ripley just told my wife she loves her for I think the first time and my wife has crumpled to the ground weeping.

    For the record, Ripley said she loves her because she buys her pajamas.

    (Ripley got new pajamas today.)

    I am in the business of saving lives.
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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Today, Sapling saw an ant on our patio (this is not a rare occurrence) "Hi ant. I love you! - Bye ant, enjoy your weekend!"

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

    Steam: Korvalain
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  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    Since I came in to wail that we had to go get covid tests: we now have results, and everyone is cleared. Which means the boy can go back to daycare, probably Monday when the symptoms of whatever he actually does have, subside.

    Anyway, good news!

    KalnaurAldomrpakuPerrsunKayne Red RobeSharpyVIIShadowfirelonelyahavaElvenshaeMojo_JojosponoDisruptedCapitalistani_game_bumNaphtaliJaysonFour
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Parents I beg you, please teach your kids to never scream like they're being murdered unless they're actually being murdered. The kids across the street will scream like that when playing in their yard and it drives me insane.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    PerrsunJaysonFourdjmitchella
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Parents I beg you, please teach your kids to never scream like they're being murdered unless they're actually being murdered. The kids across the street will scream like that when playing in their yard and it drives me insane.

    I dunno mate, over the last year, I’ve had the urge to scream like I was being murdered a lot, and honestly if I could do so while running around outside without anyone calling the police, I probably would.

    (Though I am actually interested how I’d go about this; pretty sure when I was a kid, I ran around everywhere screaming too. No idea how I’d stop the kiddo, as he got older)

    Kalnaur
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Parents I beg you, please teach your kids to never scream like they're being murdered unless they're actually being murdered. The kids across the street will scream like that when playing in their yard and it drives me insane.

    Man, I'm trying. When she starts screaming we refuse to engage. So she doesn't get whatever it is that's causing the fit. She gets three attempts to stop then is put in timeout.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    KalnaurShadowfire
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Oh tantrums I get, but these kids do it when having fun.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    Perrsun
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    kids have been running around screaming since time immemorial

    it's just how they do

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    DisruptedCapitalistMojo_JojoMulysaSemproniusKalnaurschusskimeBrodyKayne Red RobeShadowfireCalica
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Well that’s solves it then.

    Problem solve champo.

    TheStig
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist screaming Registered User regular
    When I first moved to my neighborhood next to an elementary school I was unaware how noisy kids can be during the day until I started working from home. The first time I heard the rucus at recess I thought there had been a school shooting.

    They're really that noisy.

    Elvenshae
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    I wish I could figure out how to get my kids to be even slightly more quiet.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    SporkAndrewmrpakuschussBrodyMojo_JojoMNC DoverElvenshaelonelyahavaShadowfire
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    99% of the time the most noise my kid makes is "Brrrrmmmmm" sounds absentmindedly while wandering about or whatever.

    I'm trying to get more sounds out of mine, not less. :lol:

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
    steam_sig.png

    kime
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Middle Guy was born with the volume turned up to eleven and the control button snapped off. He has to be constantly reminded that "quiet" is even a thing

    Elvenshae
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    All we've been able to accomplish with our kids is getting them to not yell "help help" when they're playing outside and to curtail the really bloodcurdling shrieks, really just anything that could legitimately alarm a neighbor into calling someone. I have had to tone down my own "dude be quiet out there" tendencies because, as my wife has rightly pointed out, they are children and they should be loud when they're playing if they want because they're playing for heaven's sake and that's what playing is sometimes.

    KalnaurkimeCroakerBC
  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Oh tantrums I get, but these kids do it when having fun.

    Our neighbor kids are the same way. When we first moved in I constantly thought there was trouble outside, or somebody was hurt... but no, they were just playing squirt guns. The only way I’ve been able to cope is to mentally write it off and decide “When I hear them, I’m not going to worry about it.”

    And I think to say “kids have always been loud” is dismissive to what I see as the real issue; teaching kids that there are different ways to use their voice... different tones and pitches, and different words. Knowing the difference between how they use their voice during play vs when calling for help.

    These neighbor kids have the same pitch when they scream “ah! Don’t touch me!” playing tag as I’d expect to hear from a kid being abducted by a stranger... and in a Boy Who Cried Wolf scenario, if they ever were in real distress I might not know because I don’t run to the window to check.

    TheStig
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