Whelp. My daughter has learned a Barney parody song.
Only she doesn't have any clue who Barney even is. Or the song it was parodying.
This one had him being killed off by an RPG and a 2x4.
And she thought that RPG referred to a role playing game. And that a 2x4 ( pronounced 2 ecks 4) was... some sort of gaming console?
We had a conversation about who Barney is, why people wanted to kill him, what an RPG is, what a 2x4 is, etc.
In the end, she was confused why anybody would want to kill a cute purple dinosaur. I haven't shown her any episodes yet..
He's 3 in May and the preschool room goes up to almost 5 years old so the older kids aren't interested in playing with him as he's too young.
He spends time in the toddler room where he plays with/near the other kids.
He's at a weird age where he's aware of other children but mainly plays near them not with them. Saw it at soft play where a little girl was on a bouncer and he dragged his bouncer over to her.
He then went in to a tent with some kids who looked to be almost five and just stood on the edge watching them. When he went in to the middle of the group they all left
One girl closer to his age did stay and they sort of played together.
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard ...
Oh
He's 3 in May and the preschool room goes up to almost 5 years old so the older kids aren't interested in playing with him as he's too young.
He spends time in the toddler room where he plays with/near the other kids.
He's at a weird age where he's aware of other children but mainly plays near them not with them. Saw it at soft play where a little girl was on a bouncer and he dragged his bouncer over to her.
He then went in to a tent with some kids who looked to be almost five and just stood on the edge watching them. When he went in to the middle of the group they all left
One girl closer to his age did stay and they sort of played together.
He'll get there.
Oh, prepare yourself for some real heartbreaking shit from this age at daycare / school. So and so won't play with me. Some girl told my daughter her long hair is ugly (she was three at the time).
I am in the business of saving lives.
+2
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited April 2022
T, 2, was at a playground and was the smallest one there by far. She wandered up to some large, standing chimes that a little boy, ~4, was playing with and wanted to play. I was watching from a distance behind the gate and told her she had to wait until he was finished before she could have a turn, or she could find something else to play with. She opted to wait.
Kid looks down at her and very deliberately puts the mallet right at the top of the chimes, where she can’t reach. T immediately tries to get to it but she’s just too short, and there’s nothing nearby she can climb on. I’m about to walk in to help her when that little boy’s bigger brother walks by, sees her struggling, and reaches up to hand her the mallet. She says “thank you” (without prompting, I’ll proudly add), and I say so, too.
Shortly after, she takes an interest in what the big kids are doing and follows them around. That first little boy from earlier watches her climb up a step and says, loudly, to some of the other big kids, “look at this dumb baby, she’s so small and she can’t even say words properly yet!”
A million Mama Bear retorts run through my mind - “she still had better manners than you did, though” was a prominent one that almost made it. But instead I just say, with a bit of TONE, “that dumb baby’s mummy is watching and listening.”
That boy just stares at me wide-eyed, then runs off to do something else. Every time T goes near him again, he looks towards me to see if I’m watching. And I am, of course… not necessarily watching HIM so much as I’m supervising my child.
Anyway, that’s a story about me being needlessly harsh to a 4 year old kid who set off my protective instincts even though he was just being a fairly typical 4 year old and he didn’t actually mean any harm. I still feel guilty about it and I don’t like what it implies about how I’m going to deal with other kids that I perceive as being mean to T.
@Vivixenne I think you'll be fine. I wanted to fight the Dad of the girl who called my kids hair ugly. If he was there at Daycare during pickup I would have done something rash.
If Athena gets into sports I'm gonna need to be at the games to make sure Mrs Moon doesn't charge the field
Yes I would be Mrs Moon in this scenario. There are just gonna SO MANY PEOPLE who need yelling at, from refs to coaches to parents to the rival team and maybe even one of the teammates… I’ll be the actual worst tbh.
I just need her to get into a sport that I don’t care about or understand. Then I’ll be okay… until I start caring about it because she’s doing it and loves it.
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
I’m also doing a brag.
After finishing our isolation period, we could go for walks again, but I thought it’d be safer to mask up even outdoors for a period. I didn’t end up catching Covid from T but it just seemed prudent. T sees me putting on a mask and asks to wear one, too. I had some kids ones that are still a bit too big for her but figured it wouldn’t hurt to let her practice wearing one.
Initially she didn’t want it over her nose and I told her that then there wasn’t any point in wearing a mask at all. I took it off her, she protested, and then wore it over her nose the entire time. She even fixed it back over her nose when it fell down.
I told her I was proud of her for wearing a mask properly, and that doing so was a way to take care of other people. She then said back to me “masks so kind” and I nearly burst into tears.
I documented it at the time but I've almost gotten into multiple fights at those stupid mall play areas because kids (who were over the designated height limit for the clearly designed for toddlers space) wouldn't stop pushing my very small children over and when I stepped in to ask them to stop their parents rushed over to tell me off. At least one said "we should just let them play, don't you think" and didn't appreciate it when I said that they weren't playing, their large children were pushing around my small children.
That's my anecdotal way of saying that you're fine @Vivixenne and we all do it at some point and it really does get easier as they get older and bigger and have more agency to say "beat it other jerky kid" themselves.
Indoor playgrounds are hit-or-miss. If the employees do not strictly enforce the rules then you shouldn't really go there. There's a few in our area, but we used to only go to the one with the clearest divide between the toddlers and the older kids and with the employees that actually did tell children to move over to the correct side and had managers handing out warnings to parents. We still wouldn't go during busiest hours, but that's mostly because we just couldn't deal with that level of sonic damage.
--
Aggressive parents at sports matches for children are such an issue here. The government has run many PSAs about it in an effort to get parents to behave. I'll link two classics below. If you think "huh, that's just like my dad" then I'm sorry, I know exactly what you mean.
Gotta love the organisation of this government. "COVID jabs for 8-12 year olds will be available in April" so I spent yesterday calling our GP, the COVID booking line, the COVID information line, scouring the internet for any hints tips or clues as to what was going on and just got told "you'll be invited by your GP when it's your child's turn". The booking website also flat out refused anything when I put his NHS number in
Cue this morning and me randomly browsing the Grauniad to see an article about how bookings are open from today and you can do it on the website. The website was slammed and appointments were disappearing fast but I managed to get an appointment at a community centre 40 minutes away in Bolton on Monday. Luckily there's a giant toy store nearby so we can bribe him with a post-vax treat.
The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
+7
BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
Indoor playgrounds are hit-or-miss. If the employees do not strictly enforce the rules then you shouldn't really go there. There's a few in our area, but we used to only go to the one with the clearest divide between the toddlers and the older kids and with the employees that actually did tell children to move over to the correct side and had managers handing out warnings to parents. We still wouldn't go during busiest hours, but that's mostly because we just couldn't deal with that level of sonic damage.
--
Aggressive parents at sports matches for children are such an issue here. The government has run many PSAs about it in an effort to get parents to behave. I'll link two classics below. If you think "huh, that's just like my dad" then I'm sorry, I know exactly what you mean.
The sports thing reminds me of why I never really got into sports. When I was 5 or 6, I joined a club wrestling team. My weight group inside the club was me and a pair of twins. After a couple of weeks/months, I had kind of gotten the hang of it, so when we did the competition for Varsity/JV, I actually one the first match. The twin's father then chewed that kid out, and in the match for varsity, his brother wrecked me. And my dad was super chill. If I won, if I lost, if I decided I didn't want to do it anymore, I knew it would be ok. So I just sort of internalized that it wasn't really worth winning to me, if it might mean the other kids parents were going to be mean to them. I tried wrestling again in 7th grade, and even though I really enjoyed it from a technical perspective, I still just didn't care enough about winning to make it worth it.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
My parents were super good when it came to sport… win or lose, it was about doing your best and learning how to play on a team. They went to bat for me if I had an issue with the coach. They came to every game they could. They cheered and commiserated along with us, but they were also really clear that they were only ever proud of my participation and commitment. Winning was a bonus and was a lesson in grace and sportsmanship. Losing was a way to learn to cope with coming up short even when you gave it your all.
Above all, sport was just a way to keep us out of trouble.
My worry as a parent on the sidelines is almost certainly going to be issues with the adults present, specifically those who clearly care less about sportsmanship than about winning/losing. Dealing with other parents, with coaches (I’m a coach myself but some of them are actual jerks)… I’m genuinely not looking forward to it.
Oh, and injuries. I’m deadly fearful of injury in contact sport.
Man, I sort of hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in sports, because she hates losing. Maybe it would be a good way for to get over it though.
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0
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
my sister used to be mad into soccer, and infected my mom, so she went to all the games and tournaments and was Soccer As Fuck.
she was loud, but not mean, thankfully, so the potential fights were few.
We tried soccer with Lucas when he was little and it didn't stick. We ended up with bowling because it's really as much a competition with your own scores as anything and it's only as competitive as you want it to be. The best part is that he does it with some long time buddies and it gives them something they can continue to enjoy after high school.
+5
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
the best part about being into bowling as a kid, is that when you're grown up and spontaneously bowl (I've only ever had an adult bowling outing on the spur of the moment) your muscle memory will kick in and you kick ass.
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
I hope my son gets into sports because I like coaching. Also since he's on the spectrum, if he has to obsess over something, I'd like that thing to be something that makes him active. Like I'd rather he get really really into baseball than really really into trains.
So I'm happy as long as my kid is playing the game. Win, lose, miss a catch, kick at the ball and fall down by accident, undershoot the hoop by a few feet; whatever it's fine. You're trying little dude that's all anyone is asking for really. He's 6 this is some low stakes.
What I'm not sure how to deal with is when he decides to play a completely different game. Like pretend to be a dinosaur or dig a canyon in the infield dirt. On the one hand I get it; little league baseball is so boring I'd also rather be a dinosaur. On the other, it's absolutely not fair to the kids actually trying to play the game. I've talked to him about this and he gets it for a while, then forgets again.
It's not like he's forced into these sports either. Our goal was to have him try something for a full season, and if he really doesn't like it move on. Equipment costs aside, this has been pretty great to get him trying lots of different things. So far it's been soccer, basketball and now baseball. I knew baseball would be a struggle there's just so much interesting dirt out there to play with.
There's only so much Calvinball you can play with your Dad as a kid, and really hard to convince other kids your age to join in with your rules and not theirs. I want my kids to have the ability to play a pickup game of soccer with their peers, even if they choose to do other things most of the time. Or at least have a common starting point for a made up game. Our area also becomes very competitive very quickly, so without some skill development early he's pretty much locked out if he wanted to try later (there's tryouts and cuts, etc.).
0
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
Man, I sort of hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in sports, because she hates losing. Maybe it would be a good way for to get over it though.
I absolutely hated losing, to the point of almost giving up swimming when a record I set got broken at the age of 11.
But then my folks got me into a team sport, where losing and winning were a team effort, and that really helped.
Man, I sort of hope my daughter doesn't want to participate in sports, because she hates losing. Maybe it would be a good way for to get over it though.
I absolutely hated losing, to the point of almost giving up swimming when a record I set got broken at the age of 11.
But then my folks got me into a team sport, where losing and winning were a team effort, and that really helped.
So did board games, especially as an adult.
I prefer co-op games (tabletop or video game) for much this same reason. Instead of competing against people I like, I can work with them to fight the game itself.
I was a serious sore loser as a kid (like, flip the checkerboard bad), and playing co-op with others has really helped me. The other thing that helped in more competitive games were games like Apples to Apples, where if I think my contribution is hilarious, I'm fine with not getting picked for my card. If I can find a way in which I can enjoy the game that isn't just the presented win condition, then I can still have fun and lose at the same time.
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So I'm happy as long as my kid is playing the game. Win, lose, miss a catch, kick at the ball and fall down by accident, undershoot the hoop by a few feet; whatever it's fine. You're trying little dude that's all anyone is asking for really. He's 6 this is some low stakes.
What I'm not sure how to deal with is when he decides to play a completely different game. Like pretend to be a dinosaur or dig a canyon in the infield dirt. On the one hand I get it; little league baseball is so boring I'd also rather be a dinosaur. On the other, it's absolutely not fair to the kids actually trying to play the game. I've talked to him about this and he gets it for a while, then forgets again.
It's not like he's forced into these sports either. Our goal was to have him try something for a full season, and if he really doesn't like it move on. Equipment costs aside, this has been pretty great to get him trying lots of different things. So far it's been soccer, basketball and now baseball. I knew baseball would be a struggle there's just so much interesting dirt out there to play with.
There's only so much Calvinball you can play with your Dad as a kid, and really hard to convince other kids your age to join in with your rules and not theirs. I want my kids to have the ability to play a pickup game of soccer with their peers, even if they choose to do other things most of the time. Or at least have a common starting point for a made up game. Our area also becomes very competitive very quickly, so without some skill development early he's pretty much locked out if he wanted to try later (there's tryouts and cuts, etc.).
I think that's very young for a boring game like baseball. Like that and cricket are probably the slowest and least involved games I can think of. Especially when you're stuck somewhere out in the field on the off-chance some kid actually manages to hit the ball with some force behind it? Even in high school that shit was boring. What does the coach try and do to keep the kids involved?
+1
Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
So I'm happy as long as my kid is playing the game. Win, lose, miss a catch, kick at the ball and fall down by accident, undershoot the hoop by a few feet; whatever it's fine. You're trying little dude that's all anyone is asking for really. He's 6 this is some low stakes.
What I'm not sure how to deal with is when he decides to play a completely different game. Like pretend to be a dinosaur or dig a canyon in the infield dirt. On the one hand I get it; little league baseball is so boring I'd also rather be a dinosaur. On the other, it's absolutely not fair to the kids actually trying to play the game. I've talked to him about this and he gets it for a while, then forgets again.
It's not like he's forced into these sports either. Our goal was to have him try something for a full season, and if he really doesn't like it move on. Equipment costs aside, this has been pretty great to get him trying lots of different things. So far it's been soccer, basketball and now baseball. I knew baseball would be a struggle there's just so much interesting dirt out there to play with.
There's only so much Calvinball you can play with your Dad as a kid, and really hard to convince other kids your age to join in with your rules and not theirs. I want my kids to have the ability to play a pickup game of soccer with their peers, even if they choose to do other things most of the time. Or at least have a common starting point for a made up game. Our area also becomes very competitive very quickly, so without some skill development early he's pretty much locked out if he wanted to try later (there's tryouts and cuts, etc.).
It’s the nature of sports anyway. Six year old kids don’t have the focus for any sports, I’ve seen games of chasey come out of games of hockey. It’s just their nature, if they had fun at the end of it, does it really matter that they stopped and looked for bugs halfway through?
Had an IEP meeting with the school, and the school had done an evaluation for my son with their psychologist.
And they determined he likely has Autism. So, that's one Neuropsych saying ADHD, probably not Autism. And one school psych who is saying Autism, probably not ADHD. We haven't received the full Neuropsych results yet (she's still writing them up..) but she wasn't able to do any classroom evaluations, and saw him for four hour-long sessions. Versus the school, who was able to do more in-depth evaluations. But the person doing it isn't as highly trained.
And here we are. He's 6, and it's very possible he has a bit of both, or neither and some sort of neurodivergence not easily classified. Our friend has an autistic daughter, and I know everyone is different, but she has said she wished her daughter was more outgoing and able to talk with strangers, like my son is. My son has a lot of hyperfocus, which the school is seeing as Autism, but I agree with the neuropsych that it seems more like ADHD.
And here I am, trying not to armchair diagnose. But trying to find a doctor who may specialize in both (just in case) and takes our insurance.. We have an appointment in late May currently. But it's another gatekeeping psychologist to evaluate him (again) before the specialist doctor will see him (whenever their schedule magically aligns)
We went with Autism on his IEP, mainly because it is harder to have an IEP with just an ADHD diagnosis. And we can change it once the full neuropsych report comes in. They almost tried to get him out of the ICT classroom next year (which has two teachers, one special ed) because he has no learning deficits. But we still have so many issues.
He's in a dual language Spanish school, and bouncing off of Spanish hard. He has a new bff forever friend he really likes (he has a hard time making friends). So.. switch schools or not..
There's a special public school for Autistic kids, but our friend's daughter had a bad time there (really terrible teacher they refused to reassign when she wasn't able to work well with Autistic kids with some behavioral issues, and it has a reputation in the community for being good mainly for kids who can mask well. So many red flags). But.. if we want to move schools, they may make us try that school before trying out a private school that actually works well with Autistic kids (like my friend's daughter now goes to). And that's assuming Autism. There are also schools for kids with ADHD- mainly private schools that you can sue the city to pay for.
There's a large legal industry in NYC built around suing the schools for private school tuition because their schools are really bad about helping neurodivergent kids. It sucks. I never thought I'd even consider it, but yet here we are.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
I had some success with asking the kids to look proud, instead. Ymmv
We found the sure-fire way of getting an actual smile / laugh was to ask him to remember what Stanley does when he has an itchy bum. Him imagining his dog doing the bum-shuffle across the rug basically means he either full on grins or cracks up enough that you can get a nice picture rather than a Wallace and Gromit face.
The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
Does he dislike cheese? Try saying Pancakes instead, maybe
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Kane Red RobeMaster of MagicArcanusRegistered Userregular
edited April 2022
Took Dore in for his one month and the kid is a chonker, 11.5 pounds. Doc says we need to stick to feeding once every three hours and not every time he thinks he's hungry. So if anyone tells you it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby know that they are wrong.
Edit: Also Mrs. Red Robe is annoyed that I can nickname our kids Lore and Dore so it will continue.
Our almost six year old is getting evaluated for ADHD tomorrow, so that will be interesting. Having a lot of issues following directions at school and after school care, and is a bit reckless with his body, so it's time to see what's going on.
And, in the last few months my wife and I have both figured out in our early 40s that we have it, so not exactly a surprise.
Kid is going to try a kickboxing next. Another dad from his class runs a school and they have classes for 4-8 years olds.
Really curious whether he'll like it. He likes to make 'hiyaaah'-sounds while he makes wild kicks, but I'm sure the classes will be more involved than that
First day of gymnastics for Ripley. On the one hand I hope she loves it on the other I hope she doesn't because after seeing a colleagues entire life get wrapped up in his kids gymnastics.
4:30 and I catch my son cheerfully making breakfast with the tv on. I send him back to his room, but hear a door squeak. Catch him back in the living room this time with socks on. He's getting sneakier.
I would really like s night of uninterrupted sleep
+5
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited April 2022
T moved up a room at daycare this week. Both times so far she has not slept for a full nap… once she got up 30 min in because she was excited to play with her friends. Yesterday she made it 1hr 15min when a pair of little twins she likes very much got all excited when they saw her and woke her up to play.
On the one hand it’s made her grumpier in the evenings, but on the other hand it’s cute af. I’m leaving it alone for now as I’m sure the kids will figure it out, but if it does start heavily impacting the evenings we might have to have a word.
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
Bean tried to give a kid at preschool a hug on tuesday. His teachers said it was awkward and funny, and the other kid kind of wasn't paying attention and just ran away.
Then today he hugged a different kid, and the other kid HUGGED HIM BACK AND HE RECIEVED THE HUG.
This might seem like nothing to y'all, but before this he either ignores other children, watches them without interacting, or hits/shoves them. That's it. A successful hug is an earthshattering development.
Posts
That's when she'll understand.
I didn't realize being a parent required a philosophy degree.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
I'm gonna have to go back to check out the vod. Anyone here know anything about the game?
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard ...
He's 3 in May and the preschool room goes up to almost 5 years old so the older kids aren't interested in playing with him as he's too young.
He spends time in the toddler room where he plays with/near the other kids.
He's at a weird age where he's aware of other children but mainly plays near them not with them. Saw it at soft play where a little girl was on a bouncer and he dragged his bouncer over to her.
He then went in to a tent with some kids who looked to be almost five and just stood on the edge watching them. When he went in to the middle of the group they all left
One girl closer to his age did stay and they sort of played together.
He'll get there.
Oh, prepare yourself for some real heartbreaking shit from this age at daycare / school. So and so won't play with me. Some girl told my daughter her long hair is ugly (she was three at the time).
Kid looks down at her and very deliberately puts the mallet right at the top of the chimes, where she can’t reach. T immediately tries to get to it but she’s just too short, and there’s nothing nearby she can climb on. I’m about to walk in to help her when that little boy’s bigger brother walks by, sees her struggling, and reaches up to hand her the mallet. She says “thank you” (without prompting, I’ll proudly add), and I say so, too.
Shortly after, she takes an interest in what the big kids are doing and follows them around. That first little boy from earlier watches her climb up a step and says, loudly, to some of the other big kids, “look at this dumb baby, she’s so small and she can’t even say words properly yet!”
A million Mama Bear retorts run through my mind - “she still had better manners than you did, though” was a prominent one that almost made it. But instead I just say, with a bit of TONE, “that dumb baby’s mummy is watching and listening.”
That boy just stares at me wide-eyed, then runs off to do something else. Every time T goes near him again, he looks towards me to see if I’m watching. And I am, of course… not necessarily watching HIM so much as I’m supervising my child.
Anyway, that’s a story about me being needlessly harsh to a 4 year old kid who set off my protective instincts even though he was just being a fairly typical 4 year old and he didn’t actually mean any harm. I still feel guilty about it and I don’t like what it implies about how I’m going to deal with other kids that I perceive as being mean to T.
Yes I would be Mrs Moon in this scenario. There are just gonna SO MANY PEOPLE who need yelling at, from refs to coaches to parents to the rival team and maybe even one of the teammates… I’ll be the actual worst tbh.
I just need her to get into a sport that I don’t care about or understand. Then I’ll be okay… until I start caring about it because she’s doing it and loves it.
After finishing our isolation period, we could go for walks again, but I thought it’d be safer to mask up even outdoors for a period. I didn’t end up catching Covid from T but it just seemed prudent. T sees me putting on a mask and asks to wear one, too. I had some kids ones that are still a bit too big for her but figured it wouldn’t hurt to let her practice wearing one.
Initially she didn’t want it over her nose and I told her that then there wasn’t any point in wearing a mask at all. I took it off her, she protested, and then wore it over her nose the entire time. She even fixed it back over her nose when it fell down.
I told her I was proud of her for wearing a mask properly, and that doing so was a way to take care of other people. She then said back to me “masks so kind” and I nearly burst into tears.
Anyway, here’s a photo:
That's my anecdotal way of saying that you're fine @Vivixenne and we all do it at some point and it really does get easier as they get older and bigger and have more agency to say "beat it other jerky kid" themselves.
--
Aggressive parents at sports matches for children are such an issue here. The government has run many PSAs about it in an effort to get parents to behave. I'll link two classics below. If you think "huh, that's just like my dad" then I'm sorry, I know exactly what you mean.
Cue this morning and me randomly browsing the Grauniad to see an article about how bookings are open from today and you can do it on the website. The website was slammed and appointments were disappearing fast but I managed to get an appointment at a community centre 40 minutes away in Bolton on Monday. Luckily there's a giant toy store nearby so we can bribe him with a post-vax treat.
The sports thing reminds me of why I never really got into sports. When I was 5 or 6, I joined a club wrestling team. My weight group inside the club was me and a pair of twins. After a couple of weeks/months, I had kind of gotten the hang of it, so when we did the competition for Varsity/JV, I actually one the first match. The twin's father then chewed that kid out, and in the match for varsity, his brother wrecked me. And my dad was super chill. If I won, if I lost, if I decided I didn't want to do it anymore, I knew it would be ok. So I just sort of internalized that it wasn't really worth winning to me, if it might mean the other kids parents were going to be mean to them. I tried wrestling again in 7th grade, and even though I really enjoyed it from a technical perspective, I still just didn't care enough about winning to make it worth it.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Above all, sport was just a way to keep us out of trouble.
My worry as a parent on the sidelines is almost certainly going to be issues with the adults present, specifically those who clearly care less about sportsmanship than about winning/losing. Dealing with other parents, with coaches (I’m a coach myself but some of them are actual jerks)… I’m genuinely not looking forward to it.
Oh, and injuries. I’m deadly fearful of injury in contact sport.
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she was loud, but not mean, thankfully, so the potential fights were few.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
What I'm not sure how to deal with is when he decides to play a completely different game. Like pretend to be a dinosaur or dig a canyon in the infield dirt. On the one hand I get it; little league baseball is so boring I'd also rather be a dinosaur. On the other, it's absolutely not fair to the kids actually trying to play the game. I've talked to him about this and he gets it for a while, then forgets again.
It's not like he's forced into these sports either. Our goal was to have him try something for a full season, and if he really doesn't like it move on. Equipment costs aside, this has been pretty great to get him trying lots of different things. So far it's been soccer, basketball and now baseball. I knew baseball would be a struggle there's just so much interesting dirt out there to play with.
There's only so much Calvinball you can play with your Dad as a kid, and really hard to convince other kids your age to join in with your rules and not theirs. I want my kids to have the ability to play a pickup game of soccer with their peers, even if they choose to do other things most of the time. Or at least have a common starting point for a made up game. Our area also becomes very competitive very quickly, so without some skill development early he's pretty much locked out if he wanted to try later (there's tryouts and cuts, etc.).
I absolutely hated losing, to the point of almost giving up swimming when a record I set got broken at the age of 11.
But then my folks got me into a team sport, where losing and winning were a team effort, and that really helped.
So did board games, especially as an adult.
I prefer co-op games (tabletop or video game) for much this same reason. Instead of competing against people I like, I can work with them to fight the game itself.
I was a serious sore loser as a kid (like, flip the checkerboard bad), and playing co-op with others has really helped me. The other thing that helped in more competitive games were games like Apples to Apples, where if I think my contribution is hilarious, I'm fine with not getting picked for my card. If I can find a way in which I can enjoy the game that isn't just the presented win condition, then I can still have fun and lose at the same time.
I think that's very young for a boring game like baseball. Like that and cricket are probably the slowest and least involved games I can think of. Especially when you're stuck somewhere out in the field on the off-chance some kid actually manages to hit the ball with some force behind it? Even in high school that shit was boring. What does the coach try and do to keep the kids involved?
It’s the nature of sports anyway. Six year old kids don’t have the focus for any sports, I’ve seen games of chasey come out of games of hockey. It’s just their nature, if they had fun at the end of it, does it really matter that they stopped and looked for bugs halfway through?
Satans..... hints.....
And they determined he likely has Autism. So, that's one Neuropsych saying ADHD, probably not Autism. And one school psych who is saying Autism, probably not ADHD. We haven't received the full Neuropsych results yet (she's still writing them up..) but she wasn't able to do any classroom evaluations, and saw him for four hour-long sessions. Versus the school, who was able to do more in-depth evaluations. But the person doing it isn't as highly trained.
And here we are. He's 6, and it's very possible he has a bit of both, or neither and some sort of neurodivergence not easily classified. Our friend has an autistic daughter, and I know everyone is different, but she has said she wished her daughter was more outgoing and able to talk with strangers, like my son is. My son has a lot of hyperfocus, which the school is seeing as Autism, but I agree with the neuropsych that it seems more like ADHD.
And here I am, trying not to armchair diagnose. But trying to find a doctor who may specialize in both (just in case) and takes our insurance.. We have an appointment in late May currently. But it's another gatekeeping psychologist to evaluate him (again) before the specialist doctor will see him (whenever their schedule magically aligns)
We went with Autism on his IEP, mainly because it is harder to have an IEP with just an ADHD diagnosis. And we can change it once the full neuropsych report comes in. They almost tried to get him out of the ICT classroom next year (which has two teachers, one special ed) because he has no learning deficits. But we still have so many issues.
He's in a dual language Spanish school, and bouncing off of Spanish hard. He has a new bff forever friend he really likes (he has a hard time making friends). So.. switch schools or not..
There's a special public school for Autistic kids, but our friend's daughter had a bad time there (really terrible teacher they refused to reassign when she wasn't able to work well with Autistic kids with some behavioral issues, and it has a reputation in the community for being good mainly for kids who can mask well. So many red flags). But.. if we want to move schools, they may make us try that school before trying out a private school that actually works well with Autistic kids (like my friend's daughter now goes to). And that's assuming Autism. There are also schools for kids with ADHD- mainly private schools that you can sue the city to pay for.
There's a large legal industry in NYC built around suing the schools for private school tuition because their schools are really bad about helping neurodivergent kids. It sucks. I never thought I'd even consider it, but yet here we are.
I'll get a good picture of him one day....
This is his "cheessseeeee" face for photos
I had some success with asking the kids to look proud, instead. Ymmv
We found the sure-fire way of getting an actual smile / laugh was to ask him to remember what Stanley does when he has an itchy bum. Him imagining his dog doing the bum-shuffle across the rug basically means he either full on grins or cracks up enough that you can get a nice picture rather than a Wallace and Gromit face.
In 25 years when he steps up to accept his Nobel, be sure to have this photo on the giant screen behind him.
Does he dislike cheese? Try saying Pancakes instead, maybe
Edit: Also Mrs. Red Robe is annoyed that I can nickname our kids Lore and Dore so it will continue.
And, in the last few months my wife and I have both figured out in our early 40s that we have it, so not exactly a surprise.
Really curious whether he'll like it. He likes to make 'hiyaaah'-sounds while he makes wild kicks, but I'm sure the classes will be more involved than that
I would really like s night of uninterrupted sleep
On the one hand it’s made her grumpier in the evenings, but on the other hand it’s cute af. I’m leaving it alone for now as I’m sure the kids will figure it out, but if it does start heavily impacting the evenings we might have to have a word.
Then today he hugged a different kid, and the other kid HUGGED HIM BACK AND HE RECIEVED THE HUG.
This might seem like nothing to y'all, but before this he either ignores other children, watches them without interacting, or hits/shoves them. That's it. A successful hug is an earthshattering development.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.