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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    cool cool cool todays we're getting baby cring whenever therev isn't a nipple in her mouth for four hours straight and counting

    good times

    Sounds like my youngest. He had colic, and I was his pacifier for.. a year or so..

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Am I a square or is 8:30 pm on a weekday a bit late to renovate a kitchen while you're trying to have a baby sleep in the flat below?

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Am I a square or is 8:30 pm on a weekday a bit late to renovate a kitchen while you're trying to have a baby sleep in the flat below?

    Normally that'd be a bit square (at least here in NL, dunno about the social mores in your neck of the woods), but if you'd ask them to stop earlier as your baby needs to sleep then that'd be acceptable.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited November 2020
    honovere wrote: »
    Am I a square or is 8:30 pm on a weekday a bit late to renovate a kitchen while you're trying to have a baby sleep in the flat below?

    We had the exact same experience with our daughter when she was a newborn. Condo below us was doing reno work every night. I assume it was because they had another job.

    First check your local and building rules to see what the noise codes are.

    See if there's anything you can do to mitigate like changing your schedule a little or rocking them in a quieter part of the flat.

    If nothing is working, go up and talk to them. See if you can work out a schedule or maybe do the loud work earlier and save the quieter stuff like painting for later.

    If none of that works you may have to involve the building owner or councilman or whatever.

    MichaelLC on
    ElvenshaeMulysaSemproniuskime
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    I asked politely. We'll see. I know house rules and laws generally say 10 pm. I'm just so tired and these buildings from the 50s haven't ever heard of acoustic decoupling and impact sound insulation.

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Did our Xmas card photos

    Thinking this is the clear winner

    lh2kgqtdaqg1.jpeg

    Banzai5150MulysaSemproniusMNC DovermrpakuBrodyRanlinlonelyahavaDisruptedCapitalistJansonMichaelLCSharpyVIISporkAndrewani_game_bumElvenshaedjmitchellaJaysonFourLindsay LohanPeenDevlin_DragonusplufimTefFishmanSlacker71
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I want Athena to have actual friends she can go to the park with other than her cousins. It's really a bummer when we take her there solo and every kid immediately becomes "my best friend" except normally she's weirding the kid out by being over enthusiastic.

    On the other hand, my social anxiety is fine with not having to communicate with other adults.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    Brody
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    We have a little parent group, and it's been great to have occasional outings with them to the park, but us dads are a lot less communicative and don't go as often, which sure can be awkward and a little sad. Few of my real friends have appropriately aged kids.

    I'm trying to think up Christmas gift ideas for my family to give to my boy(but not too hard, they can give him whatever and he'll promptly forget about it for weeks at a time). His prime directive is to be outside all the time, so something to make that more enjoyable for us would be nice. Specifically, more of a reason to stay in our backyard instead of venturing out down the block because Daddy gets tired.

    Aside from super expensive playscapes and geodesic dome climbing structures, does anyone have good ideas for outdoor toys with staying power? I'm thinking sandpit is a decent idea, or one of those Big Diggers(a seat with a big excavator attachment). A mud kitchen makes for too much adult cleaning.

    We live in Texas, so outdoor playing this winter should be fine.

    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Not sure your budget, but little plastic play structures can be found for <$200 with just a slide or a little room. My oldest kid had one that was literally just like a plastic room, door and a shelf, and it kept him happy.
    Sand pits are great- just keep them covered when not in use and check them regularly. You will need to refill, so keep the sand budget in mind.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    Elvenshae
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited November 2020
    We've gotten a lot of milage out of a basic two-seat swing set. Probably was in the $200 range.

    Daughter also enjoyed this wild thing:
    https://www.overstock.com/Sports-Toys/American-Ninja-Warrior-Obstacle-Course-Race-Set-37-pc/28964343/product.html?option=51339274

    American Ninja Obstacle Course, and we got their big balls (heh, heh) too. There's a bunch of different sets, easy to setup, not going to be passing them to future generations but hold up ok.

    Was training the dog with that set too, getting him to jump over the bars.

    MichaelLC on
    Banzai5150
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    Oh duh, my boy is 2.5. So a house playset and swings would work (he doesn't love swings and ignores his admittedly basic current playhouse) but ninja anything is beyond him.

    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Magnifying glass might be a good thing, if you're not looking for bigger things.

    We got Ellie a little fisher price slide and she still plays with it at almost five.



    Just set up her graduation from daycare date with her teachers. She turns five on Feb 17, graduation on Feb 19, starts primary school on Feb 22.

    I'm all kinds of emotions.

    kime
  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Kids thread! I never thought I'd be in here for awhile, but my wife and I just found out she's pregnant (very early right now).

    That being said, I need some advice. I've always wanted kids and my wife was lukewarm on having them (she always she never intended to have them, but wasn't against the idea). Well we got pregnant a lot quicker than expected, and she's having a little bit of a tough time. She misses the drinking with friends from our bubble (it was purely for socializing as she didn't get drunk often), physical activities, and the fact that her parents can't really be around much for the pregnancy during Covid. She's down on herself that she's not as excited and she thinks she should be, which makes her feel worse.

    I'm doing what I can to make it easier, but she's still kind of down.

    Did anyone else go through this (either you yourself or your partner), and if so, how did you/they get through it?

    I'm excited to post pictures of Baby Bedigunz in like 7 months!

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
    AldoBanzai5150DisruptedCapitalistDonovan PuppyfuckerElvenshaeJansonPeenVivixenneDevlin_DragonusdjmitchellaSlacker71
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Well for one: there's a fucking plague out there, so going out to parties with friends just isn't in the cards at the moment.

    The first trimester is often pretty rough with morning sickness and mood swings, so at least that could be temporary.

    It's a gigantic change in your life, so going out to parties at night is just something she probably will have to miss for a year. But if she has friends who are excited about her being pregnant or who have young children of their own then this might be an opportunity to connect with them. We certainly became better friends with the other parents in our social circle.

    kimemrpakuElvenshaePeen
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    Jeez, I think being pregnant during COVID has gotta be uniquely challenging, and I cannot say that we had this experience. What I did have was regret not during pregnancy, but in the first 3 months of my son's life. Despite many people assuring me otherwise, I did not feel the sky open up and a soul bond with my child as soon as I touched him. It was bewildering, exhausting, and I resented the loss of so much freedom. But now, even though he's an often temperamental toddler, he's amazing and adorable, and you guys could also be in for a lot of highs and lows as well.

    But, I totally think she should let herself feel bummed without self-judgment.

    PSN: Kurahoshi1
    CroakerBC
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Yeah for a lot of people, pregnancy can kinda suck, and it can sometimes take a long time to really feel a bond with the baby.

    That's normal! As is a nice pregnancy and quick bond. Lots of fun variations.

    Edit: oh and, assuming you had a Covid-safe way of going out drinking, she can still do that just with non alcoholic beverages. Since getting drunk want the fun part for her (according to you)

    kime on
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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    I'm looking to get an indoor trampoline for the kids. Looking at this one right now, but am open to suggestions if anyone has them.

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073NZLPSZ

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I *hated* being pregnant.

    hated it. the exhaustion, the aches, the diabetes, the pain, the exhaustion. I never really got morning sickness (thank goodness) but the rest of it was miserable.

    and I didn't really like my infant. it wasn't until she was about 6 month old that I really started to feel more than the obligatory 'gotta keep you alive' affection.

    It takes time, but you can adjust. and there is no reason in the world for your partner to automatically be relishing the sun goddess fertility goddess everything is glowing falsehoods that get put out there.

    It's ok to be miserable about being pregnant.


    on the other side of that, congratulations!

    Lindsay LohanJansonTef
  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    I *hated* being pregnant.

    hated it. the exhaustion, the aches, the diabetes, the pain, the exhaustion. I never really got morning sickness (thank goodness) but the rest of it was miserable.

    and I didn't really like my infant. it wasn't until she was about 6 month old that I really started to feel more than the obligatory 'gotta keep you alive' affection.

    It takes time, but you can adjust. and there is no reason in the world for your partner to automatically be relishing the sun goddess fertility goddess everything is glowing falsehoods that get put out there.

    It's ok to be miserable about being pregnant.


    on the other side of that, congratulations!

    Thanks! And thank you to everyone who responded.

    Regarding the group of friends, they are in our "bubble" so everyone is safe and they take precautions. Her 3 really good girlfriends are single and without kids, so she's struggling as they all went to an outdoor restaurant over the weekend and she was missing the ability to have a drink with them, while they were having a few glasses. It's more for socialization than anything else.

    Coincidentally, she has 3 other, married friends, who are all due around the same time as us, so I suggested we spend some time with them, as they are all going through this. Problem is that these friends are somewhat judgmental, so my wife takes what they say really personally, so that doesn't help. I like their husbands, but 2/3 of the wives annoy me to no end.

    I'm doing what I can to make her life easier -- I got her a peloton that she's wanted for awhile, I started her with an in-home massage therapist, and cook whatever she wants as well as taking on most of the chores in the house, but I can't seem to get her out of her funk.

    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
    VivixenneKalnaur
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Septus wrote: »
    Oh duh, my boy is 2.5. So a house playset and swings would work (he doesn't love swings and ignores his admittedly basic current playhouse) but ninja anything is beyond him.

    We had a lot of success with a water table and one of those cheap plastic pools.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    its a huge life adjustment. especially if it was unexpected.

    Ecco and i had been trying for a while, and i'd gone as far as keeping track of things on a calendar and essentially scheduling sex. And even then, pretty much when I could calculate the exact date when we conceived, the immediate switch from 'trying' to 'pregnant' was not really an easy one.

    And I don't drink. I do go out and party. and I wasnt particularly sociable either. and it was still enough to get me into a funk.

    Just do your best to validate her feelings. She's not wrong to feel like this. She's not wrong to be reacting like this. There is nothing 'broken' about her.

    You guys got this. And we're here for help and support as you guys need.

    kimeCroakerBCBrodyElvenshae
  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    nh14yn9cgqyv.jpg
    The children are to attend school as rockstars for something to do with times tables, no it doesn't make much sense to me either.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Little Man's Teacher- You need to come get your kid's supplies for this month from the school shed! There's a Two day, incredibly narrow window to get them this week, that's right smack dab in the middle of the school day!

    Me:...cool, guess I'll make the hour roundtrip the very second school let's out at 3, because otherwise I literally can't get there in time

    Little Man's Teacher- (Note left inside the school shed). Hi! Make sure to drop off their Mystery story and social studies packet inside the folder before you leave!

    Me: Their what. Their...thing you didn't fucking mention before I drove all the way out here? (Gets home half hour later, spends chunk of the night uploading my kid's work via email so we can maybe have Friday off)

    Little Man's Teacher- (chastising email first thing in morning) I didn't see Little Man's work in the school shed. I'm doing report cards, and his Mystery story and social studies work will be held against them if not turned in

    Me: (email) I just...sent you an email? Contained the entire Mystery story. We also have no idea what the Social Studies packet is, and it's frustrating Little Man pretty badly, he's spent all day today and last night looking for it. Could you send a picture, or a new copy, or at least tell us what it looks like?

    Little Man's Teacher-(email six hours later; Friday off is basically over, we spent the whole time looking for the Social Studies packet) I just put Little Man's required reading books for Winter Break in the school shed. They need to be picked up either today or Monday. I'm sending this message at 3, so today clearly isn't a realistic option. Also, I didn't read your email, but expect you to read mine! Have a frustrating weekend!

    mrpaku on
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  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    Sounds like some of the email conversations I have with teachers. I love the ones that start out talking to you as if you’re even younger than the student in question, telling you to READ this or THAT so that you will know what to do.

    50433.png?1684353703
    mrpaku
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I’m struggling to find balance.

    Work is crazy busy and they’ve given us crazy expectations

    I’ve got teachers emailing me pages of instructions for home schooling like I have all of the time in the world

    Owen is done with preschool because of Covid so now I don’t have my little Monday morning free to myself anymore

    It’s A LOT right now.

    mrpakuBrodyAldoDisruptedCapitalistLindsay Lohan
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Yesterday after school Little King wanted to play at the schoolyard. He was going up and down the slide a dozen times when one of his classmates comes running out of the classroom going "<Little King> is here <Little King> is here". So he's off playing with her while I'm slacking off on the interbuttz. After a while I see them both enter the classroom and taking off their coats so I figured I'd see what's up. Turns out two moms and the teacher were busy making Sinterklaas decorations. I helped out for a bit while Little King was playing super well with this other kid.

    That evening the teacher sent me a message thanking me for my help and that made me blush. It was such a simple thing to do, but I still appreciate that it didn't go unnoticed.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    It's amazing to me the difference in culture that my girl is going to grow up with versus what I had.

    Growing up, going to a family friends house was usually for Christmas.

    My girl, God willing we keep these friends, will grow up with Christmas, Eid, Diwali, Lunar New Year (Chinese).

    Just the depth of her exposure to everything else is going to be at least four fold what I had. It's just amazing to me.

    RanlinDonovan PuppyfuckerDisruptedCapitalistkimePeenBrodyVivixennemrpakusponoSporkAndrewDevlin_Dragonus
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Diwali kicks arse, too.

    CroakerBC
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Kids thread! I never thought I'd be in here for awhile, but my wife and I just found out she's pregnant (very early right now).

    That being said, I need some advice. I've always wanted kids and my wife was lukewarm on having them (she always she never intended to have them, but wasn't against the idea). Well we got pregnant a lot quicker than expected, and she's having a little bit of a tough time. She misses the drinking with friends from our bubble (it was purely for socializing as she didn't get drunk often), physical activities, and the fact that her parents can't really be around much for the pregnancy during Covid. She's down on herself that she's not as excited and she thinks she should be, which makes her feel worse.

    I'm doing what I can to make it easier, but she's still kind of down.

    Did anyone else go through this (either you yourself or your partner), and if so, how did you/they get through it?

    I'm excited to post pictures of Baby Bedigunz in like 7 months!

    Congratulations, first off!

    What your partner seems to be going through could have been pulled from my own brain. We’ve been pregnant twice and while the first pregnancy didn’t end the way we’d hoped, we did fall pregnant much more quickly than expected both times.

    I remember the start of that first pregnancy especially well... I’d come up with a 2 year plan for us to get pregnant. I basically assumed, with no evidence, that it would take us a while to get pregnant. 6 months of just having regular sex, then if not pregnant, 6 months of ovulation tracking, then fertility testing, then looking at IVF. This was 2018. I was mentally prepared to be pregnant in 2020.

    So when we got pregnant two months after trying, I felt a mix of both gratitude and absolute panic. We were extremely lucky to get to be pregnant so easily... but OH MY GOD what do you mean I only have 9 months of freedom left?????!!?!??? Excuse me?!!! I was ~supposed~ to get at least a year to adjust to the idea!

    Skipping some of the sadder details, we got pregnant the second time again, very quickly once we agreed to start trying once more. And while I was much, much more keen on the pregnancy this time around and better prepared mentally to farewell my old life, I STILL struggled with it, especially during my third trimester, as the reality loomed ever closer.

    It is perfectly, 100000% normal to mourn your old life. If anything, it sounds like your partner is already processing those feelings, which means by the time the baby arrives, she’ll have largely gone through the grieving process and be readier for mum life. Like it’ll still be hard, but she may have an easier time than others. The romanticizing of motherhood has done a great disservice to the reality of mothers everywhere.

    As a sidebar - the non-pregnant partners tend to not process the change in your life until after the baby arrives, in a crucible of sudden sleep deprivation, rapid changes in routine, and heightened day-to-day stress. This is normal. Not being pregnant, it’s simply not as visceral for you as it is for your partner! And it’s very hard to manage all that change in what basically seems like a snap of your fingers. Make sure you are mindful of this heading into parenthood - she and the baby need you to be okay, which means you need to know when you’re not.

    My personality is not cut out for dealing with a newborn. I loved her to bits but really did not enjoy those first 3 months of Theia’s life. But now that she’s freshly 10 months old (today!), I can say that I’m feeling much more connected to her on a deep emotional level, vs an “obligation” and “supposed to” level. It really, really helps when they can start to interact with you in a way that you can actually understand. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for how you feel. Different personalities parent differently. That’s all there is to it.

    It also super duper helps when they’re cute af.

    Vivixenne on
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  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    I'm doing what I can to make her life easier -- I got her a peloton that she's wanted for awhile, I started her with an in-home massage therapist, and cook whatever she wants as well as taking on most of the chores in the house, but I can't seem to get her out of her funk.

    You’re doing great! It really sounds like the “funk” is her having to process that her life is changing much more quickly than she’d planned. It’s grief, and it’s a necessary step to acceptance. She understands that the road ahead is going to look so different from where she’s been, and she clearly fully appreciates the challenges that await her. These are GOOD things. It doesn’t feel like it, but she’s preparing herself for parenthood, because she’s acknowledged on a visceral level that things are going to change.

    If she finds what I said there relatable/helpful and needs someone to talk to about that, let her know she can hit me up!

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    I'm doing what I can to make her life easier -- I got her a peloton that she's wanted for awhile, I started her with an in-home massage therapist, and cook whatever she wants as well as taking on most of the chores in the house, but I can't seem to get her out of her funk.

    ...Can I go back in time and hire you as my pregnancy partner?! :P

    Congratulations! Hopefully things get a little easier for you both soon.

    Brody
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    There is something oddly very very satisfying about picking your kid up from their first playdate without you present, and the parents of the friend saying what an easy kid she is, how comfortable she was, and how great it was too have her over.

    The only real comment was that she talks, a lot. Which is very very true. She's got an external monologue.

    Makes me almost think that we might just be doing this right.


    Due the purposes of the good feelings, we will ignore the bedtime meltdown and the hour long fight to get to sleep.

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Did one of Athena's nips get a mosquito bite, or do one of a kid's nips sometimes get raised and pink?

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular


    I'm pretty sure Jabba knows Chewbacca's name; wtf Luke

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Oh hi there brain.

    What's that? My only child is getting ready for school? We bought her stationary today? You want to make another baby? What the fuck. That's not the agreement we had.

    Stupid biological clock.

    Brodyplufim
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Another kid bit my 18 month old on the cheek yesterday.

    Nursery didn't even notice as they would've rang us as it's their policy to let us know if another kid hurts your kid.

    We've let them know in case they didn't know they've got a biter.

    On the other hand might get him to stop biting us now that he knows how it feels....

    ElvenshaeBrody
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Thank god Thanksgiving and Winter Break are coming up, because Middle Guy's ability to do remote learning is everyday turning into a bigger negative number. He's actively trying to not participate, or get out of work whenever possible (Breakfast time? Non-stop grabass with the dog. Meeting time? "*Cries* Dad, I'm starving, my tummy is empty." Or non-stop bathroom breaks. Or taking fifteen minutes of reading time to "find" a "book". Or sitting with the book shoved in his mouth instead, making wild animal noises for his classmates.

    But the new fun is him either, sitting there shredding an assignment when my back is turned (now not only do I have to request or reproduce a new one, I get a new mess to clean up! And he's behind again! Hurrah!), or just straight up responding to "Dude, get your work done" by replying, "No," locking eyes with me, and giggling like a fucking Joker henchmen. I know Lockdown is a big part of it- after nine months, there's a big element of him being aware that "Yeah dad, I'm already shut in the house with you all day- *ground me, I dare you*". I mean, I was expecting that when he became a teenager, but...any advice on all of that, for a five year old? At this point, I've nearly just accepted that he'll be retaking Kindergarten, and wondering what I waste my time with everyday

  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    There's more to punishment than just not being able to leave, yeah? No sweets or tv or video games or... whatever? I dunno, ours is 3 yet.

    But part of the issue is probably just remote learning sucks for younger kids, and 5 is too young still (not saying you have a better option, just that the situation sucks). So the value he's gonna be getting there is already pretty thin probably :(:(

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  • KetarKetar Come on upstairs we're having a partyRegistered User regular
    We've had better luck with positive reinforcement. My kids (6 and 9) love Lego, so I picked up a ton of cheap Chinese Lego equivalents. Figures, small sets, medium sets - all things they would like, and all things that Lego doesn't actually make like Sonic the hedgehog minifigures, or Octonauts vehicles, or Star Wars or comic book characters that have never been in an official set. If they do a good job getting all their work done for a few days, they get a minifigure that I spent 80 cents on. Or they can choose to wait and save up a bit and get a set of some kind for doing a good job over a longer period of time. Similar rewards for non-school work like reading for 30 minutes every day. It did a good job motivating them to actually do their work, and also helped to keep them occupied after school time is done each day.

    At some point over the last 4-6 weeks we actually just kind of forgot about it because they've been doing such a good job with their work now and haven't been asking for the extra rewards.

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