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The Twelve Days of [chat]mas

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Honk wrote: »
    Chaniaus Twainus

    That's their pen name

    Their real name is Samuel L Chanus

    i just want you to know if i could find a synonym for raft that rhymes with plane i would have responded

    i've had it with these motherfuckin waifs on this motherfuckin [raft]

    but the best i can find is "range" and i am skeptical that's a synonym anyone actually uses to mean logs lashed together to float down the Mighty Mississip

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    japanjapan Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    We another four day project management course that was cancelled during the lunch break on the first day because the trainer realised he just couldn't cope with people who would challenge the material (to be fair he seemed to be trying to teach how to project manage building a new residential development rather than developing new technology)

    We did an audit recently where we found that a critical project was running six months behind their own plan, and that nobody in the project team had been able to provide us with a coherent basis for their time estimates per task (with some added commentary that adherence to estimates for completed tasks was wildly inconsistent)

    They responded by changing all the dates on the plan, so now it said it was on track but all the tasks had considerably less time allocated to them, with no increase in resource

    When we further commented that we didn't find this revised plan particularly credible, the project manager blew their top about being criticized by people who didn't even have project management qualifications

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    Chaniaus Twainus

    That's their pen name

    Their real name is Samuel L Chanus

    i just want you to know if i could find a synonym for raft that rhymes with plane i would have responded

    i've had it with these motherfuckin waifs on this motherfuckin [raft]

    but the best i can find is "range" and i am skeptical that's a synonym anyone actually uses to mean logs lashed together to float down the Mighty Mississip

    "Southern antebellum dialect, motherfucker, do you speak it?"

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    japanjapan Registered User regular
    Project audits are the worst, because the org always wants the findings framed in terms of compliance with the methodology

    When the actual finding is usually "you applied [methodology] which should provide assurance over x, y, and z, but like ... not the way you do it"

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    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    Rudolph the halal abiding reindeer.

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    SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    I am so, so tired of getting like five non-consecutive hours of sleep due to the pets being assholes for no reason.

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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    There are no mince pies on the house and it is both December and slightly snowy.

    I've alerted the UN peacekeepers

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    BethrynBethryn Unhappiness is Mandatory Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    Chaniaus Twainus

    That's their pen name

    Their real name is Samuel L Chanus

    i just want you to know if i could find a synonym for raft that rhymes with plane i would have responded

    i've had it with these motherfuckin waifs on this motherfuckin [raft]

    but the best i can find is "range" and i am skeptical that's a synonym anyone actually uses to mean logs lashed together to float down the Mighty Mississip
    Hydro/aquaplane sadly contains plane.

    ...and of course, as always, Kill Hitler.
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    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.

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    SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.
    I need to start doing this with our dogs when they decide to start barking at one of the cats that they've spent their entire lives around in the middle of the night.

    Tonight however they didn't rage at the cat and so naturally she's been jumping on me/attacking one of the plants/clawing at a post/noisily licking the wall near my head/etc.

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    first i would stop rubbing fish on the walls of your bedroom

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Lately our cat has, unwisely, been let into the bedroom when we go to bed to sleep on the blanket. This is very nice and cute but invariably lasts until about five when he wakes up, goes to check his food bowl, discovers it empty and then gently wakes me by jumping on me and then headbutting me.

    Every night when we're putting the lights out he looks cute and we say awwww let's not disturb him and later I realise tired me at 11pm who thought he was cute was a cretin and what I need to do is install a soundproof door on the bedroom with him on the other side.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Talisker only occasionally sleeps on my bed

    Unlike Bramble, who used to walk on my face at 5am

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    I think I’ll get a cat for my new place if I can teach it to use the toilet

    Can’t have my new place smelling like cat pee

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    HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Our doggo sleeps on the bed all the time and is a fierce competitor when it comes to personal space. He'll try to push me off more often that not, and sometimes just lay down across my forehead.

    PSN: Honkalot
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    BethrynBethryn Unhappiness is Mandatory Registered User regular
    When I was catsitting for my brother's cat, if he wasn't let into the bedroom at 5am he'd start tearing up the carpet by the door. I think this was just a trick he pulled on me specifically as an unknown human, but once let in he would really just sit on the bed and mew and knead for a bit before it got to a reasonable hour and he got fed.

    Emotional terrorism works I guess.

    ...and of course, as always, Kill Hitler.
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    SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    Our more rotund cat's preferred method of getting onto the bed is jumping down onto my face from a nearby shelf.

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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    I have, more than once, answered his endless pitiful mewing when he wants to be fed or let out and he can't be with a loud, sarcastic MEOW MEOW MEOW right back at him. He always manages to look shocked at this unforgivable breach of good manners.

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    HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Bethryn wrote: »
    When I was catsitting for my brother's cat, if he wasn't let into the bedroom at 5am he'd start tearing up the carpet by the door. I think this was just a trick he pulled on me specifically as an unknown human, but once let in he would really just sit on the bed and mew and knead for a bit before it got to a reasonable hour and he got fed.

    Emotional terrorism works I guess.

    Imagine if that wasn't cat but rather a bear with rabies or a wraith instead.

    It's all fun and games until the premise is changed enough to not meaningfully be the same as the situation that was first described.

    Not so fun now huh

    PSN: Honkalot
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    VishNubVishNub Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    first i would stop rubbing fish on the walls of your bedroom

    Well hold on let’s not get ahead of ourselves

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    HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    I've gotten monday off, approved and all, but then it turns out that we're actually launching our new website on monday. I bet my boss didn't consider this when she approved the pto.

    All I know is they scheduled a meeting at 2pm with the synopsis being essentially "let's cross our fingers and pray together for good deliverence". Like logically something will break, they have consultant devs for this but out of our people I'm maybe the only one who can parse web code and nominally understand how the structure works should it be needed. But I don't know apart from praying like what we're guessing we'll be doing on monday.

    So I've emailed them and the web lead like yo it turns out I have pto on monday do I need to make contingency plans, but it's been four hours now and no response. No response on text either, they're probably too busy. But I would like to know because I'd have to start my monday at like 4 am to back in the city by launch time.

    It's not my problem but it's not not my problem also. But my work karma is still at 900/1000 so I don't feel inclined to kamikaze for emperor for at least a while longer.

    PSN: Honkalot
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Talisker only occasionally sleeps on my bed

    Unlike Bramble, who used to walk on my face at 5am
    Bethryn wrote: »
    When I was catsitting for my brother's cat, if he wasn't let into the bedroom at 5am he'd start tearing up the carpet by the door. I think this was just a trick he pulled on me specifically as an unknown human, but once let in he would really just sit on the bed and mew and knead for a bit before it got to a reasonable hour and he got fed.

    Emotional terrorism works I guess.

    There's a patch of threadbare carpet outside my bathroom thanks to Talisker's insistence on watching me poop

    I solved that by putting a plant pot over the patch

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    Hmm

    It looks like between Star Wars and Marvel, Disney will be putting out a new series every other month or so next year.

    - Mandalorian S3
    - Kenobi
    - Loki
    - WandaVision
    - Falcon/Winter Soldier
    - Hawkeye
    - Ms. Marvel

    Maybe more, since no firm premiere is set for Moon Knight, She-Hulk, and the untitled new Star Wars series that all we know about is how it features “female leads in an unexplored era.”

    Between all that and the HBO Max news, it’s gonna be a hell of a year to stay home.

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    Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    Honk wrote: »
    I've gotten monday off, approved and all, but then it turns out that we're actually launching our new website on monday. I bet my boss didn't consider this when she approved the pto.

    All I know is they scheduled a meeting at 2pm with the synopsis being essentially "let's cross our fingers and pray together for good deliverence". Like logically something will break, they have consultant devs for this but out of our people I'm maybe the only one who can parse web code and nominally understand how the structure works should it be needed. But I don't know apart from praying like what we're guessing we'll be doing on monday.

    So I've emailed them and the web lead like yo it turns out I have pto on monday do I need to make contingency plans, but it's been four hours now and no response. No response on text either, they're probably too busy. But I would like to know because I'd have to start my monday at like 4 am to back in the city by launch time.

    It's not my problem but it's not not my problem also. But my work karma is still at 900/1000 so I don't feel inclined to kamikaze for emperor for at least a while longer.

    I'm sure it'll be fine, what could go wrong?

    vRyue2p.png
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Are they actually doing the Kenobi show?

    The LotR show reminded me it exists again today by naming some more actors (no one particularly famous - Peter Mullan and Lenny Henry are the only names that jumped out).

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    Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    Lmao I had a dream where my husband and I held hands on a walk and it was really warm and pleasant out and then a guy started yelling faggots at us

    What the fuck, subconscious?

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    bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Jfc some piece of shit sped through a school zone ran a red and went through a crossing guard and killed an eleven yr old

    I can’t fathom his parents grief

    They better throw the fucking book at that driver

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    Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.

    Blossom doesn’t seem to get it. We went to bed exhausted and she immediately crawled onto my husbands chest and started growling at me

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    SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    Thank fiber it’s Friday.

    can you feel the struggle within?
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    TTODewbackTTODewback Puts the drawl in ya'll I think I'm in HellRegistered User regular
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.

    Blossom doesn’t seem to get it. We went to bed exhausted and she immediately crawled onto my husbands chest and started growling at me

    its her husband now, beta

    Bless your heart.
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    Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    Blossom seems remarkably resilient to any kind of training where we gently or forcefully suggest she’s being a real C U next Tuesday and neither of us is going to hurt her

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    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    Honk wrote: »
    I've gotten monday off, approved and all, but then it turns out that we're actually launching our new website on monday. I bet my boss didn't consider this when she approved the pto.

    All I know is they scheduled a meeting at 2pm with the synopsis being essentially "let's cross our fingers and pray together for good deliverence". Like logically something will break, they have consultant devs for this but out of our people I'm maybe the only one who can parse web code and nominally understand how the structure works should it be needed. But I don't know apart from praying like what we're guessing we'll be doing on monday.

    So I've emailed them and the web lead like yo it turns out I have pto on monday do I need to make contingency plans, but it's been four hours now and no response. No response on text either, they're probably too busy. But I would like to know because I'd have to start my monday at like 4 am to back in the city by launch time.

    It's not my problem but it's not not my problem also. But my work karma is still at 900/1000 so I don't feel inclined to kamikaze for emperor for at least a while longer.
    This seams like something you could fix from your living room. Although they should just say, "we got it, but if things go to shit on Monday evening we'll have you troubleshoot. If it's not an emergency just be in a bit early on Tuesday to fix the minor items."

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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    Bogart wrote: »
    Are they actually doing the Kenobi show?

    The LotR show reminded me it exists again today by naming some more actors (no one particularly famous - Peter Mullan and Lenny Henry are the only names that jumped out).

    Starts shooting in just a few weeks! At Leavesden and Boston(?).

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    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    edited December 2020
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.

    Blossom doesn’t seem to get it. We went to bed exhausted and she immediately crawled onto my husbands chest and started growling at me
    Did Blossom catch you fucking? My dog gets grumpy when the wife and me kick him out of bed for some fun.

    zepherin on
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    PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies drinking coffee in the mountain cabinRegistered User regular
    zepherin wrote: »
    We made it clear to our dog that if she decides to go insane in the blanket mines then she gets booted out of bed. Much better sleeping.

    Blossom doesn’t seem to get it. We went to bed exhausted and she immediately crawled onto my husbands chest and started growling at me
    Did Blossom catch you fucking? My dog gets grumpy when the wife and me kick him out of bed for some fun.

    Blossom is notoriously homophobic

    sig.gif
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    CoinageCoinage Heaviside LayerRegistered User regular
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    EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    edited December 2020
    I'm enjoying DJ Format - We Know Something You Don'T Know in how confidently early 90s it is. Very Bonita Applebaum

    My guess is that it's a SumJudge song

    it has the line "Unabomb will set the whole world on fire!" so you know it's pure uncut chat

    Eddy on
    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
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