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You vs 1 billion ants

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    I will seduce the queens with my wit and charm and access to amounts of sugar inconceivable to the ant mind.

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    JarsJars Registered User regular
    You
    I'm sensing bias in the poll. like we were never supposed to be able to win in the first place

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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    A billion ants for sure that's so many ants y'all and at least 80,000 of them are fucking bullet ants!

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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    You
    I figure I win without trying half the year because lolwinter. What are ants going to do against subzero wind chill? Die. They're going to die.

    The other half the year I'm not entirely sure, but any chance of winning there means I win most of the time. But short of unreasonably short notice (like, swarming into the room immediately) I figure I can get to a hose, or my car. Or my kitchen. I have plenty of vinegar and stuff to whip up ant poisons and repellants... and then get to my car, because my house is going to reek after that. But.

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    zekebeauzekebeau Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    If it had been a billion normal black ants, I'd say me. Too many ants have crazy poison and stings and jaws that can be used as fish hooks and...yeah I'm toast with that much variety coming at me.

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    You
    Ant civilization didn't plug up a major shipping lane, but maybe one billion ants can raft together and flo-Hahahahahah it would take so much biomass

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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    You
    To be honest, I'm not sure how a billion ants survive to even reach me considering calorie needs, etc.

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
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    DirtyboyDirtyboy Registered User regular
    Just need a pallet of Borax, a few thousand cotton balls, and some sugar water and they'll be gone in a week or so (well after they have devoured my body).

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure you could move faster than ants over longer distances, and I don't know if they'd actually be able to effectively track you. You might be able to pick and choose your engagements with impunity.

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    Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    if i had time to prepare i think i'd have a decent shot but if they're ambushing me then the bullet ants and fire ants and the like are going to obliterate me

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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    cB557 wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure you could move faster than ants over longer distances, and I don't know if they'd actually be able to effectively track you. You might be able to pick and choose your engagements with impunity.

    at a dead sprint? certainly

    a billion ants covers a lot of ground though

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    OdinOdin Registered User regular
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Wait wait

    Is it me vs 1bn ants or you vs 1bn ants I'm confused

    You pressed "You", referring to me. That is incorrect.

    The correct answer is You!

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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    You
    I'm having trouble visualizing this dilemma. Can somebody get me an accurate estimate of the total volume of these ants?

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    Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited March 2021
    1 billion ants
    I'm having trouble visualizing this dilemma. Can somebody get me an accurate estimate of the total volume of these ants?

    we calculated in the other thread thatt a billion ants would weigh about 5.5 tons, so between three and four cars

    Speed Racer on
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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    You
    I'm having trouble visualizing this dilemma. Can somebody get me an accurate estimate of the total volume of these ants?

    we calculated in the other thread thatt a billion ants would weigh about 5.5 tons, so between three and four cars

    Thats mass, not volume.

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    Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    With bullet ants, fire ants, another nasty species in the mix I'm going to be absolutely obliterated.

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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    You
    Google says ants have an average volume of 10 mm, which means a billion ants is about 10 cubic meters, which would be roughly 1 car.

    Who the fuck knows though I can't imagine many folks are out there measuring ant volume.

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    EmperorSethEmperorSeth Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I too read Leningan vs. the Ants in school as a kid as referenced in the other thread. So I also know how dead I am. I just hope it happens somewhere where my cat isn't collateral damage.

    You know how much of an impact that story had on me. 30 years later, and I didn't even have to Google the name. Can't guarantee the spelling, admittedly.

    You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron

    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    You
    Xaquin wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron


    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

    wwweeeeeeelllllll

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p16g5IVCdeE

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    bah

    they weren't making giant strides as one, they were just kind of hanging out

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Xaquin wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron

    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

    Xaquin, you know I love you

    But you don’t know SHIT about ants!!!

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    You
    Tef wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron

    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

    Xaquin, you know I love you

    But you don’t know SHIT about ants!!!

    But at least he knows about washing machines.

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron

    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

    Xaquin, you know I love you

    But you don’t know SHIT about ants!!!

    But at least he knows about washing machines.

    I know enough about both that I could sell a washing machine and kill a billion ants

    not at the same time though

    Xaquin on
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    You
    cB557 wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure you could move faster than ants over longer distances, and I don't know if they'd actually be able to effectively track you. You might be able to pick and choose your engagements with impunity.

    You could like walk at a brisk pace in the summer on asphalt and let them all die of exposure chasing you.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    TheStig wrote: »
    cB557 wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure you could move faster than ants over longer distances, and I don't know if they'd actually be able to effectively track you. You might be able to pick and choose your engagements with impunity.

    You could like walk at a brisk pace in the summer on asphalt and let them all die of exposure chasing you.

    except the saharan silver ant which can survive temps of around 120f and can move 33 inches per second for short distances by using only their rear 4 legs

    but I don't know anything about ants

    :wonk:

    Xaquin on
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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    You
    a few drops of ant-rid and blammo, all gone

    broken image link
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    JarsJars Registered User regular
    You
    Xaquin wrote: »
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what their weight or volume is, they're ants

    they can't merge to form ant-tron

    they crawl around looking for food until they find it or die

    Xaquin, you know I love you

    But you don’t know SHIT about ants!!!

    But at least he knows about washing machines.

    I know enough about both that I could sell a washing machine and kill a billion ants

    not at the same time though

    you could if you killed a billion ants with a washing machine as part of your sales pitch

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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    How cool would it see someone toss a washing machine at a billion ants and they just swarmed together to catch it and tossed it back at them

    I bet they could do that

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    That goddamn washing machine

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    You
    You know what? I could take em.

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    ChallChall Registered User regular
    I would not fight the ants, I would debate them in an open forum to show that the way of peace is most effective. Then the ants and I will finally know peace and I will win the Nobel Ant Peace Prize which was just created and comes with a large cash award.

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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Those ants are gonna jump you when you're walking to your car later

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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    You
    Alright so according to a quick google the fastest ant in the world, the Saharan silver ant, moves at 855 millimeters per second, 1.9 mph. Average walking speed of a human is 4 mph. Unless you're completely surrounded, outrunning them seems like an option, perhaps to make it to the Raid spray aisle.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    You
    What if the billion ants are all dispersed evenly across a 5 mile radius of you, how many ants per square foot we talkin' here?

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    1 billion ants
    that seems really easy to calculate so I'm not going to out of spite

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Look man, that's a lot of ants. I'm just going to lie down here and let them eat me

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    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    3clips3 wrote: »
    I mean if we're allowing rules changes to how things work in life in this scenarios then I'm in a car doing donuts over the ants.

    Even a single species of a billion ants in a space to attack one person specifically is outside the realm of reality. Certain parameters must be established or else it simply devolves into an endless stream of "but what ifs" where people imagine wildly differing scenarios to the point where they are not even talking about the same hypothetical.

    I mean, yeah?

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    Desert LeviathanDesert Leviathan Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    That may actually be a winning strategy. Just be super aggressively into being vored, and most of the ants will be too creeped out to go through with it. And most of the ones who are into it won't want to expose that side of themselves to the entire horde, ultimately leaving you with a much more manageable volume of defiantly proud fetishists.

    Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
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