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i'm not even sure what a [movie] is

3clips33clips3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered User regular
some kind of longform Vtuber episode, I guess?

RingoKana
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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    movies contain dumb shit for nerds like superheroes

    cinema is when sad white criminals talk about being sad and how doing crimes made them lonely

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    the good ones contain boobs and one-liners

    PwnanObrienRanlinOlivaw
  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    Both The Irishman and The Snyder Cut are four hour long up their own asses exercises in public masturbation. No movie should be that long. Go re-watch Fury Road or something.

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    watch dollman

    it's like 80 minutes and a bunch of dudes blow up in it

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Both The Irishman and The Snyder Cut are four hour long up their own asses exercises in public masturbation. No movie should be that long. Go re-watch Fury Road or something.

    As someone who typically just wants movies to be 90 minutes, I can't sign off on this opinion.

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  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    I have a backlog of videogames which I can play. If I wanted a four hour long one-sided diatribe by a white guy I'd go on twitter and criticize Elon Musk.

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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Starting this one off spicy

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Why 90 minutes? I know the Synder cut is a ludicrous 4+ hours. I am fine with movies taking sometimes over 2 hours to tell their story. But there are movies that miss use the time like Revenge of the Fallen as it must feel like it's Ending at least 3 times yet it goes on

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I liked that one motion picture where the train dove at the camera. Scared us it did.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Both The Irishman and The Snyder Cut are four hour long up their own asses exercises in public masturbation. No movie should be that long. Go re-watch Fury Road or something.

    As someone who typically just wants movies to be 90 minutes, I can't sign off on this opinion.

    Just today I noticed Hulu's splash page had a section labeled "90 Minute Movies." I felt very seen.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    ZonugalMagellSweeney TomAtari Soul
  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    A movie is where you watch a giant ape punch a radioactive dinosaur.

    ChallPwnanObrienCristovalSleep
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    3clips3 wrote: »
    some kind of longform Vtuber episode, I guess?

    most movies are shorter than a vtuber stream!

    Olivaw
  • ElaroElaro Threadkiller, Harbinger of the Lock GodsRegistered User regular
    A movie is this:



    Or this:



    But not this:



    Or this:



    And definitely not this:

    Derp derp still a smurf
    LordSolarMacharius
  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    I think 90 minutes is the ideal movie length, but I also loved Blade Runner 2049 and the LotR Extended Editions

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  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    I liked that one motion picture where the train dove at the camera. Scared us it did.

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    are movies fungible

    Snicketysnick
  • Johnny ChopsockyJohnny Chopsocky Scootaloo! We have to cook! Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered User regular
    You know what's a damn good movie?

    Speed. That's a damn good movie.

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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    Both The Irishman and The Snyder Cut are four hour long up their own asses exercises in public masturbation. No movie should be that long. Go re-watch Fury Road or something.

    much like this post

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  • 3clips33clips3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    I was under the impression we were all publicly masturbating on this forum

    is that

    is that not true

    Fencingsax
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    me getting ready to post

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    BhowKruite
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    I have a backlog of videogames which I can play. If I wanted a four hour long one-sided diatribe by a white guy I'd go on twitter and criticize Elon Musk.

    Ew, gross, video games?

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    MaddocThe Lovely Bastard3clips3MagellSweeney TomsarukunBucketman
  • ReynoldsReynolds Gone Fishin'Registered User regular
    Totally awesome video games.

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul I am silent and my silence is complicity. Registered User regular
    Video games are not cinema. Unless you hire out a cinema to play Xbox.

  • ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    If you ask me motion pictures are just pretentious photographs

    Also when does the King Kong v Godzilla movie come to streaming, I had to go to the toilet at the cinema and missed possibly the only crucial plot point in the entire film

    Chall
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    I like that sean Gunn is the new ted raimi

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular

    Fawst
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    Prohass wrote: »
    If you ask me motion pictures are just pretentious photographs

    Also when does the King Kong v Godzilla movie come to streaming, I had to go to the toilet at the cinema and missed possibly the only crucial plot point in the entire film

    Looks like the 31st.

    Prohass
  • ChallChall Registered User regular
    Prohass wrote: »
    If you ask me motion pictures are just pretentious photographs

    Also when does the King Kong v Godzilla movie come to streaming, I had to go to the toilet at the cinema and missed possibly the only crucial plot point in the entire film

    You missed "big monke fight lizard"?

    SleepMc zany
  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    I don't know why but I could have sworn Godzilla vs Kong was supposed to be out on the 26th. Whoops.

    And my delivery food seems to be in a perpetual limbo.

    Great night this is shaping up to be.

  • ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited March 27
    The 26th was the theatre release for here in Australia at least

    Also but I want to know why big monkey fight lizard

    Actually a character disappeared in the scene I missed and never came back

    Prohass on
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    I like that sean Gunn is the new ted raimi

    Ted Raimi is just the new Clint Howard!

    Grey GhostMysstCristoval
  • Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    mid way through a True Stories/Repo Man which I feel like are opposite ends of the optimism/cynicism spectrum

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    The Lovely Bastard
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular


    John Ostrander is the doctor implanting Mike Roker with the head explody in The Suicide Squad

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  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular
    I'm bored with movies. We were promised feelies in like 1932, and so far all I've gotten is disappointment and lifetime bans from a number of local theaters.

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  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited March 27
    Space Sweepers
    - I think I almost prefer the front-loaded credits
    - seems to always be the case: after the disaster, we rush to build a bandaid.
    - mmm....ascension
    - I see even in the future tech glows blue
    - - I am so tired of blue tech
    - subtitles are playing a subtle game:
    - - [in English] *man speaks Korean*
    - - [in German] *woman speaks English*
    - *artificial gravity kicks in* ouch
    - this dude in the background gives some shifty vibes
    - - he speaks! and chastises the CEO
    - ah, that's why I know this voice: Trevor Belmont
    - "WARNING: IT'S COMING"
    - I do like the lack of the translation convention, at least to this point
    - something, something, call me Robo-Ishmael. That's weak
    - doubt it specifically influenced them, but there's some Titan A.E. vibes here; but mostly it just seems like general sci-fi
    - "You're confusing me with someone who gives a shit"
    - gee, I'm sure this "looks like a cute child; is actually a devastating weapon of mass destruction" thing won't come up again
    - uh-oh, Park's worried about a thief.
    - Jang dropping the cards in disbelief is amazing
    - flipping tables, smacking people with other people, powering through a taser and head-butting the other dude? Jang is great
    - aw, a cute child has apparently stowed away
    - - ...
    - *the crew turn from the monitor as one to stare at the bomb*
    - dudes, I don't think hitting the deck will do much
    - great, the criminals are calling the crime hotline
    - she magically restores the plant to life? That's a neat trick
    - yes, extort the terrorists for money. that will end well
    - "Is that a giraffe?"
    - can't read the other buttons, but one is labeled 'Bishop'
    - "it's a dinosaur, dummy"
    - she sure showed him
    - Uncle Tiger?
    - it's the police. I was wondering about that call Park made
    - well-handled, Jang.
    - "thrilling music"
    - *drunk slides down wall*
    - this situation is about 20 seconds from another thrilling action sequence
    - bunny-lady just stole Dorothy's hat. What kind of person takes a kid's hat?
    - and the situation has escalated
    - she has a force-field
    - Krypton waves break nanobots; hydrogen bombs create Krypton waves.
    - something seems very wrong with Sullivan
    - yeah, stop singing on the emergency channel
    - yuck, eating tomatoes
    - - yes, thank you Dorothy Kot-Nim
    - ah, Tiger Park is his full name. That makes more sense
    - Bubs explaining important backstory
    - - it doesn't seem surprising to me that Bubs is a girl? Is that meant to be surprising
    - - ah, Tae-Ho's wife and daughter were ... wait, no, he ... stole a dead woman's child. A death for which he was directly responsible. This might be slightly better than turning her over to the system, but ...
    - I feel that Bubs is about a hair from murdering some of these guys
    - Park is going to dismember this dude
    - Black Foxes?
    - "You punks wanna dance?"
    - I don't know about this DNA = morality supposition
    - Jang calmly explaining the difference between a suggestion and an order
    - I was going to make a note along the lines of "the problem with being indistinguishable from a human child is that she could be a child" ... but they said something about 'not picking up anything'. Of course, maybe the container was shielded; but once she's out, I feel any of them could have realized she was real pretty fast?
    - I feel there's a missed step in there, but otherwise I follow it
    - the military has showed up
    - Pierre trying to be heroic
    - Tiger to the rescue
    - don't suppose they'll find Su-Ni in this debris field
    - yeah, but she can talk to the nanobots, so this should be fine?
    - - they could even repair the ship?
    - took a lot out of her
    - let's see: Jang is 25, and been a fugitive since she was 19
    - - formed a pirate organization and attempted to assassinate Sullivan
    - Tae-Ho is 34; and been a fugitive since 31. I thought Bubs said he was 20 when he found Su-Ni?
    - *idly wonders how many slash-fics exist between Tae-Ho and Park on AO3*
    - that was a fun movie. *checks time* another 50 minutes? what
    - uh-oh, Jang's seen something
    - - EMP?
    - - BUBS! Is Kot-Nim ok?
    - Sullivan appearing in person? That's surprising
    - I wondered about that; I noticed some metal sounds but thought she might be biting her ring or something
    - might be a bad idea to drop charges
    - I'm reminded of a line from Lord Demon: "you have dwelled in palaces," I said to the fourth, "and you in gutters," to the sixth, "and something of both has stuck"
    - Bubs hasn't woken up yet ... ?
    - as a retail employee with an occasionally scarily good recollection of my customers, there is no way she remembers some dude from 3 years ago.
    - why is the laser gun talking?!
    - - I am not opposed to this
    - "exhilarating music"
    - - Bubs cutting loose
    - "my harpoon?!"
    - - *punches the ship*
    - Bubs can survive re-entry?
    - why is there always a countdown?
    - - Though interestingly, it says 27 minutes and there are about 29 minutes left.
    - well, you may not be able to stop the bomb from going off, but I feel you could try to change the trajectory so that Sullivan et al die instead...?
    - 5,132 km is quite specific
    - Camilla, out of uniform?
    - where's that graphene 'sharpest thing in the universe' axe you touted earlier?
    - - there we go
    - "get out now if you fear death. The rest of you, why not come fight?"
    - - *man nods sagely*
    - we've now moved into "heroic music"
    - well, I am surprised; good call, Sullivan
    - noo, Jang
    - of course she needs to be the one to kill Sullivan, so
    - Bubs!
    - down to the last minute, but we still have 17 minutes to go
    - I guess I wasn't super far off, but I didn't call them pulling that con
    - :(:(:(
    - whew. Genuinely worried about ... well, 3 of the 4 anyway.
    - - Jang thinks Bubs is a dude?
    - Bubs got her skin! yay
    - *Pierre leans on Jang* *she glares at him*
    - some wrap-up, but that's pretty much it

    Not a bad way to spend a couple hours. Quite enjoyed it!

    Tamin on
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Three Teevee episodes in a trench coat.



  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    the barbian queen isn't a perfect movie, but it does feature the titular barbarian queen stabbing a dude in the head with a sword for saying a lady should smile more and melting a nerdy pervert with a vat of acid.

    also the plot hinges around hunks and sexy ladies coming together to murder a monarch.

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  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Sounds like a good’un.

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    edited March 27
    You know, I had zero desire to ever see Suicide Squad. I'm really not interested in any superhero movies at all anymore.

    But Suicide Squad 2? OK I'm down for that, yeah.

    Idris Elba, a depressed Polka-Dot Man, and a giant murderous starfish? This is so extremely my bullshit it's frightening.

    Juggernut on
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    My wife really liked the Snyder Cut and was very pleasantly surprised it, and for days she's been talking about it, and now she's saying she's "Snyderpilled" and she's saying it LIKE it's a joke but I'm starting to worry

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