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Hi, Bad Joke Thread, I'm Dad

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Joke shamelessly stolen from Twitter rando

    Why did Han Solo refuse to finish his steak?

    It was really Chewie.

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    What's the opposite of ladyfingers?

    Mentos.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Nice ham ya got there buddy

    Would be a shame if someone was to come along and put an “s” and “e” around it

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Nice ham ya got there buddy

    Would be a shame if someone was to come along and put an “s” and “e” around it

    It's just a little shame!

    it's still good! It's still good!

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    What do grizzly bears call mountain bikers?
    Meals on Wheels!

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    SkxcnPQ.jpeg

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Bedlam wrote: »
    SkxcnPQ.jpeg

    I too am looking forward to Psychonauts 2 next month

    joshofalltrades on
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    Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    Y’know, I’m really tired of all these games asking what I want my text and spoken language to be, but then insisting on Finish.

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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    God is everyone's Dad. Therefore the Universe is One, Very Bad, Joke
    Why are atheists so bad at chess, anyway? Is it the lack of bishops?

    checkmate, atheists

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Spotted while my wife was driving:

    tlut77c9tjsi.jpeg

    “You’ve tried the rest; now try the breast”

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    The last time someone told me, "If I can't do it, it can't be done" was wrong, because he was unwilling to rent a helicopter.

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    People at work say they want to come up with a nickname for me, I keep telling them my name isn't Nick.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    In the wake of the pandemic, space travel has been cancelled as epidemiologists are worried about the ∆v variant

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    ly2f4pU.jpeg

    Bedlam on
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Spotted while my wife was driving:


    “You’ve tried the rest; now try the breast”

    You're in good hands with Arriola Construction!

    MichaelLC on
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    What is the favorite breakfast of Dutch private eyes?
    Holland Oats

    BLM - ACAB
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Flying fish gotta fly, penguins gotta swim, and me? I gotta point out exceptions in broad animal-based aphorisms.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    I sprained my ankle pretty bad when I was hanging out with Dexter Holland once, and he told, "You gotta keep it elevated."

    Then when he saw me trying to sneak out to go to the playground he got pissed and shouted, "Hey! Don't go out and play!"

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Hey, pay no mind
    You’re under 18, you’ll be healed in no time

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    What was the greatest medical achievement of all time?
    Lansing Michigan

    DisruptedCapitalist on
    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    If you're doing Michigan jokes then you can go to Hell.

    (I hear its quite lovely this time of year)

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    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    What I'm saying is Michigan is a pimple on the ass of humanity!
    and yet hopefully I'm going to the UP soon

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    1XJ391k.jpeg

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    A group of seniors were taking a cross-country buss trip to see Yellowstone national park.

    They had to make a lot of stops along the way, but were having a good time. One of them came up to the driver and asked if he liked peanuts. He said he did, so she gave him a handful. He ate them as he drove.
    Later she came up again and asked if he liked peanuts, He said he did, so she poured some into his hand which he ate. This continued for some time.

    Finally when she approached again, he said he was thankful, but asked why she kept buying peanuts if she doesn't like them. She said she does, but they're too hard to chew. But she does like the chocolate they're covered in.

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    If you had a whole bunch of prisoners sitting in front of computers using software to generate bitcoin, would that be a block chain gang?

    BLM - ACAB
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    Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular
    XBL: Stealth Crane PSN: ajpet12 3DS: 1160-9999-5810 NNID: StealthCrane Pokemon Scarlet Name: Carmen
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    sBwG6CL.jpeg

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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    w5cn6mb0406j.png

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    What does alpha five say when you ask him if he sees his favorite super monkey ball character
    I eye aiai aye

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Where do you buy camel milk?
    At the drome-dairy!

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    y9O8G5p.jpeg

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    TaminTamin Registered User regular
    PB9qA27.jpg

    sou
    sou so
    sou sou
    sou uyu

    (I am sorry)

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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    My obese parrot died yesterday.

    I'm sad, but honestly it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery and orders 3 loaves of bread.

    “What type of loaves sir?”

    “All rye, all rye, all rye…”

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    O2FS5pO.jpeg

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    HZxMZKF.jpeg

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    OsGq2QY.jpeg

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    AOHHmix.jpeg

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    AOHHmix.jpeg

    cevqtfdak51l.png

    BLM - ACAB
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