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Hi, Bad Joke Thread, I'm Dad

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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Some of those are actually pretty decent.

    The historian one, given job prospects in such a field, is less "pun" and more "very uncomfortable truth".

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    as a professional public historian

    oof

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Sir Prize wrote:
    I was the knight nobody expected to see on the battlefield that day!

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    One from my son:

    What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    SUPPLIES!

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    One from my son:

    What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    SUPPLIES!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHS_GQLgqtM

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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    One from my son:

    What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    SUPPLIES!

    Yeah...that one I tend to cringe at, given the history with it (suffice it to say, quite a few variations are cringingly racist.)

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Yeahhhh....as much as I love UHF, that particular clip has not aged well. (I mean, it was problematic when it happened, but I'm smarter about these things now.)

    BLM - ACAB
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited August 2021
    I know it's a bit racist but I can't not laugh at that specific set up

    It's just so dumb. also, the guy does a flying kick out of what should be a 24" deep closet

    Xaquin on
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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    The next list:
    I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.
    Once you have seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    I tried to be a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
    I fear moving stairs is escalating.
    The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "this changes everything."
    I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    These have all been fantastic.

    BLM - ACAB
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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    The escalator joke is very bare bones, there really should be a couple more words in there.

    Overall great and I have a wedding in about 2 months I'll be stealing that tier joke for

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with a pun-a-day calendar that's actually funny.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with a pun-a-day calendar that's actually funny.

    Now you begin to understand why it was locked away, lost and forgotten, for an entire year

    Can you imagine it? Waking up every day to a clever little bit of wordplay, every day of 2020

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I think when Hugh Laurie plays a role where he uses an American accent, he should be credited as Hugh Truck.

    BLM - ACAB
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    djmitchelladjmitchella Registered User regular
    In England, 'booster shot' is spelled 'borchestershire shot'.

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    DocshiftyDocshifty Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    The escalator joke is very bare bones, there really should be a couple more words in there.

    Overall great and I have a wedding in about 2 months I'll be stealing that tier joke for

    My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    One from my son:

    What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    SUPPLIES!

    Yeah...that one I tend to cringe at, given the history with it (suffice it to say, quite a few variations are cringingly racist.)

    Yeah, agreed. It could have easily swung pretty racist, but in this case comes from a conversation my son had with the school janitor, when my guy asked the janitor what he kept in the closet. The pun followed.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Who did Padme first go to after Anakin got her pregnant?

    Her OB-GYNobi

    BLM - ACAB
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    cfx3cyyxqsvj.jpg

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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    My brain: "Oh it's a flowerbed. Hah. Okay, so it's on a minigolf course. What am I missing? Putting... green? Hole in one? Is there a bed joke here? Birdie, Eagle? What the hell man, I am lost in the weeds here. Wait. Weeds? Sandtrap? Augh, thus is killing me."

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    I dont understand.

    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    Whatever it is, it looks like it would be a terrible lie.

    PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    I dont understand.

    Flowerbed.

    Though not doing well, so maybe a Flower(death)bed.

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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited September 2021
    I dont understand.

    I got the flowerbed pun. It's right there. And then I went looking for something more because I am a dork

    Overthinking can be fatal

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Ringo wrote: »
    I dont understand.

    I got the flowerbed pun. It's right there. And then I went looking for something more because I am a dork

    Overthinking can be fatal

    Yeah, I thought there had to be more related to the minigolf in the background.

    BLM - ACAB
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited September 2021
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    I dont understand.

    Flowerbed.

    Though not doing well, so maybe a Flower(death)bed.

    My confusion is that for some reason I thought it was a graveyard so I was trying to work out the death pun that didn't exist.

    I uh...didn't realise that was a minigolf lawn. Funny thing to have in a graveyard tho! *doubles down*

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    I just put way too much effort into a very stupid joke
    6k23eock6v7x.png

    It is, of course, a
    Chiron Chyron

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    I just put way too much effort into a very stupid joke
    6k23eock6v7x.png

    It is, of course, a
    Chiron Chyron

    Ah, of course, Chiron. I remember reading that, according to Greek myth, he invented medicine.

    A real centaur for disease control, that one.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    If you think about it, we're all half-centaur.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    The first time I read that line my brain processed it as "center" and I didn't even see the pun.

    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    You could have got the Atyx boatman in there somehow and had a Chiron-Charon Chyron

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    You could have got the Atyx boatman in there somehow and had a Chiron-Charon Chyron

    Oh I tried, couldn’t make it work and decided to stick with what originally popped into my head

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    LucedesLucedes might be real Registered User regular
    me: This song starts with a didgeridoo, it's pretty rad.

    my partner: Can't go wrong with a didgeridoo.

    me: Well... There are didgeridoos and didgeridon'ts.

    my partner: :<

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks what blood type they are.

    "I'm A negative," says the priest.

    "I'm AB positive," says the pastor.

    "I think I'm a type O," says the rabbit.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    Classic bad joke rt

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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    KruiteKruite Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks what blood type they are.

    "I'm A negative," says the priest.

    "I'm AB positive," says the pastor.

    "I think I'm a type O," says the rabbit.

    A good improvement for additional pun

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    Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Fictional TV brands are interesting once you start to notice the same ones in multiple places. I've definitely seen Let's chips, but the other one I know off the top of my head is Morley cigarettes, favored by the Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files.

    BLM - ACAB
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