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[Queer] thread: A Gay ‘Ol Time

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Posts

  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    What's up, nerds? Y'all doing alright?

    I just had urological surgery last week

    No not that kind :'(

    I am in so much pain right now. :s

    fuck gendered marketing
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    I'm considering asking my company's HR/IT dept to change the my name on file/display name in the system to Pixel.

    my logic: I prefer the name Pixel, having a name like Pixel will make people more likely to call me they/them than my current birth name,

    Planning on doing that in June because pride month.

    I am terrified.

  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    I have a rude as heck question because I am old and lack vocabulary so hopefully y'all don't mind me asking here so I am not rude when I actually interact with someone who identifies this way.

    Do we consider people who think they are multiple people part of the queer community and what is the non-rude terminology for that? Not two-spirit but what I would describe as a fairly harmless form of self-diagnosed schizophrenia. I've run into a handful online now (in discords populated by much younger folks) and while I think it's bizarre they don't seem to be hurting anyone so my default response is to let them identify however they want but I haven't interacted because well, I'm afraid I'd come off poorly.

    So yeah I would agree largely no from earlier. I have only ever heard it called dissociative identity disorder. That said I am an old, and a therapist so that might just be a reflection of the bubble I am in. That said the question gets interesting as gender (along with many other spots) can vary between the system of people in that body. Man we really need better language around that. So ask if they identify with it and go with that I think? Yeah I like that answer.

    Shizophrenia would have nothing to do with this one way or the other. It doesn't work the wayedia makes you think it works is the short version.

  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    What's up, nerds? Y'all doing alright?

    Nope.

    Grief from losing my mom in January comes in vast and powerful waves.
    Yesterday morning (my time) had me bawling on the floor under my desk.
    And then yesterday afternoon (my time) the other shoe from SCOTUS dropped.


    I took a mental health day from work today.

    That's a good idea. Sending you hugs, friend

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Not much new with me, really. Busted out the eyeshadow the other night for the first time in a bit, hair keeps getting longer (the tangles sometimes, I broke a hairbrush!) and I tore one of my skirts, AGAIN!

  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    I got a real haircut again for the first time since my friend who cut moved last year. It feels healthier, mostly just leaving it alone, but now it’s purple and with some dry texturizing powder keeping the roots happy and full so that’s exciting. I think this stylist gets it and seemed to be on team “let’s go fight that great clips stylist that traumatized you years ago” so I think I’ll stick with them and a cutting schedule more like you’re supposed to

    I STILL don’t know how to do anything with it besides down or pulled back half tucked though.

  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Not much new with me, really. Busted out the eyeshadow the other night for the first time in a bit, hair keeps getting longer (the tangles sometimes, I broke a hairbrush!) and I tore one of my skirts, AGAIN!

    If you have straight hair, conditioner is your friend.

    If not, ignore me, I know nothing :tongue:

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Oh I use conditioner and leave in stuff and sometimes oils and I spread it to the tips etc, my hair is just apparently a hostile life-form.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I'm likely being influenced by instagram and youtube paid promotions

    but there's a company out there called I think Foundations of Beauty? *fake edit* Function of Beauty that will apparently do customized shampoos and conditioners for every hair type. Might be maybe worth a look?
    https://www.functionofbeauty.com/

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Plural/plurality/plural systems is the terminology I have seen people self-identify with the most, and I don't think it's a gender or sexuality-related thing in the way that all of the QUILTBAG things are, but it can certainly intersect with other kinds of minority struggles in the sense that it's an unusual way to be that plural people don't seem to have a choice about, merely about whether to be honest about it or not, and can potentially face refusal to understand and stigma for it.

    I'm going to chime in and second Plural as the preferred term as I know someone who is a member of that group and have met others in that community through them. The plurality isn't under the big umbrella that is QUILTBAG but I can say that in my experience the few plural people/systems I have met have also been queer in gender and/or sexuality as well, so while they weren't under the banner due to having head-mates, etc, they were still under the banner anyway.

  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Basically, it isn’t but there’s always intersectionality at play.

    YL9WnCY.png
  • Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited May 2022
    Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.

    Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.

    Kane Red Robe on
  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.

    Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.

    Hum. What do you mean? It has very much not been my experience but I don't have statistical data in front of me. Most of my personal experience comes from Millennial and older generations while professionally it is Zoomers where it might just not have come up as a thing to process. It could be a huge blind spot for me.

  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.

    Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.

    I would not assume that. Being several personas internally probably doesn't imply anything about the system's preferences for a partner or partners.

    BahamutZERO.gif
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I'm considering asking my company's HR/IT dept to change the my name on file/display name in the system to Pixel.

    my logic: I prefer the name Pixel, having a name like Pixel will make people more likely to call me they/them than my current birth name,

    Planning on doing that in June because pride month.

    I am terrified.

    plus Pixel is a cool name

  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.

    Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.
    Would you expect a family of eight kids to be poly? That doesn’t make sense to me, although I really can’t speak personally on the subject.

    YL9WnCY.png
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    The plural people I know all happen to be poly as well but that's because I know them through a polycule so :rotate:

    BahamutZERO.gif
  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.

    Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.
    Would you expect a family of eight kids to be poly? That doesn’t make sense to me, although I really can’t speak personally on the subject.

    I think the logic would be every person in the system could want to be with a different person. It is not something I have ever thought of but makes a certain sense from a distance. First Person Plural is a good read that addresses how romance with an individual can look like in real life. My experience is similar in that the people involved have to work together to find a normal that works for everyone. I know my relationship with my beloved spouse improved when the other part of me decided that my beloved spouse was a safe person.

  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Well, I think I had the dumbest interpretation of that post.

    YL9WnCY.png
  • IblisIblis Registered User regular
    IMG_1796.jpg

    Got my new top and lipstick in. After seeing myself I have now also ordered a choker and some eyeliner.

    (Also I need to clean that mirror now that I can see the bigger version of that image)

    Steam Account, 3DS FC: 5129-1652-5160, Origin ID: DamusWolf
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Damn that nail color!

  • IblisIblis Registered User regular
    It’s Hyp-Nautical (573) from Sally Hansen. It’s my favorite. It’s iridescent and kind of shifts between purple and indigo.

    Steam Account, 3DS FC: 5129-1652-5160, Origin ID: DamusWolf
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited May 2022
    Tox wrote: »
    I mentioned my wife and I trying for a baby exactly one entire time before my brain was like, "so we just casually mentioning raw dogging now? Is that what we're doing?" and I promptly stopped mentioning it anymore.



    Saw her live. She was funny it was good.

    It was sort of in the very near leadup to the end of a relationship of mine (or maybe just after?) and she was talking a lot about a very similar situation. It helped.

    stimtokolos on
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    edited May 2022
    some days i just want to scream until my mouth bleeds

    then i remember how much better i have have it then other quiltbags and i seriously can't figure out how we lasted this long

    Magic Pink on
  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    some days i just want to scream until my mouth bleeds

    then i remember how much better i have have it then other quiltbags and i seriously can't figure out how we lasted this long

    Mostly out of sheer spite, I reckon.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Put some straightening stuff in my hair today and blow-dried it, went to my first therapy appointment and she told me my hair looked really healthy.

  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Whippy wrote: »
    our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.

    *Makes notes* twinkies, cockroaches, Keith Richards, & quiltbags

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    edited May 2022
    Tox wrote: »
    Going to be visiting another work location temporarily for training, in a part of the country known for being fairly progressive.

    I've decided I'm gonna be out while I'm there. Got a pride mask to wear (I want an extra layer so I don't spread too many germs)

    I'm sure you'll all be absolutely shocked to learn that nobody in San Francisco reacted at all to my pride mask, other than to thank me for caring enough about them to mask.

    Meanwhile I snagged this queer little shotglass at the airport
    i14tenp5twet.jpg

    twas a good trip

    Tox on
    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Whippy wrote: »
    our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.

    *Makes notes* twinkies, cockroaches, Keith Richards, & quiltbags

    The recommended shelf-life of a Twinkie is only 25 days.

    nhi6F3I.gif

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I keep having dreams where my parents repeatedly misgender and deadname me. A thing my parents never actually do. Brain why must you be this way.

  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    I keep having dreams where my parents repeatedly misgender and deadname me. A thing my parents never actually do. Brain why must you be this way.

    Yea I've been getting like that a lot. Only my own brain will maliciously misgender and deadname me, no one else does. Brains are jerks.

  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    pimento wrote: »
    I keep having dreams where my parents repeatedly misgender and deadname me. A thing my parents never actually do. Brain why must you be this way.

    Yea I've been getting like that a lot. Only my own brain will maliciously misgender and deadname me, no one else does. Brains are jerks.

    Im still having mental conversations where Im Jason and I have to correct myself

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    I keep having dreams where my parents repeatedly misgender and deadname me. A thing my parents never actually do. Brain why must you be this way.

    this goes away with time but it took a solid decade or so for my subconscious to stop misgendering or deadnaming me. reprogramming a lifetime of brainmuscle memory takes real effort and is not a thing you should beat yourself up over

  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    pimento wrote: »
    I booked my top surgery in for next month today.

    Gonna get muh tits did. I'm anxcited.

    Welp, they did. They're very tight.. a little achy/discomfortable and I can't lift my left arm up too high but other than that.. yay!

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2022
    pimento wrote: »
    pimento wrote: »
    I booked my top surgery in for next month today.

    Gonna get muh tits did. I'm anxcited.

    Welp, they did. They're very tight.. a little achy/discomfortable and I can't lift my left arm up too high but other than that.. yay!

    if it makes you feel better, I definitely can't lift my left arm up too high and I've never had any kind of surgery. so you're not alone.

    Houk the Namebringer on
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I was told not to move my arms for like a month after surgery, but I moved them just a little bit, and I ended up really stretching out my scars. I don't know how it works with +boobs instead of -boobs, but if they advised restricting your arm movement you should really do that they ain't kidding.

  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    I was told not to move my arms for like a month after surgery, but I moved them just a little bit, and I ended up really stretching out my scars. I don't know how it works with +boobs instead of -boobs, but if they advised restricting your arm movement you should really do that they ain't kidding.

    From my limited research you need to wear a compression bra and you're not gonna have a fun few weeks but I dont recall seeing anything about arm mobility.

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    edited May 2022
    The surgeon's advice was to carefully wash hair the morning after and didn't say anything about not moving so different I guess. And yea, compression bra and general tightness and aching so far, outside of lifting arms too high and tweaking incisions.

    I'm keeping notes on the process and recovery and useful things so if anyone's curious, AMA.

    pimento on
  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    People are calling me Rockstar now that my hair is long. Can't say I mind

    8n3dub22obwz.jpg

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