As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
We're funding a new Acquisitions Incorporated series on Kickstarter right now! Check it out at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pennyarcade/acquisitions-incorporated-the-series-2

[NBA] A L L H A I L T H E B E A M

16970727475100

Posts

  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    I used to play for a metro wide church league back in middle school/freshman year of high school (so like 20+ years ago, god damnit I'm old), and I think I scored maaaaybe 4 points total across every game over a two year period?

    Had like 6 steals a game though, our entire thing was we had 1 good ball handler who could also shoot, 1 hulking behemoth of a center who could finish just about anywhere in the post, and 3 of us who could pass the ball well and were just hella annoying on defense. I remember the parents of some other team got really, really mad and tried to get the league to ban the full court press because of us lmao (we ran a 1-2-2 zone and gimmicked our way into the playoffs with it, shit was hilarious).

    RingoTicaldfjamJragghenSirToastyEinzelButtersArdolThe Cow King
  • The Cow KingThe Cow King a island Registered User regular
    edited February 19
    Ringo wrote: »
    Who's the smallest guy who plays bordering-on-unsportsmanlike-conduct defense and is an absolute bum on offense?

    That's me

    I was 5"10 at 13 and was the pf player for my like double AA ball (Canada in the 90s)

    I do wish I had kept playing but I wouldn't say I'd be that position forever I can hit jump shots in the paint

    You know if the guy is shorter then me

    The Cow King on
    icGJy2C.png
    Ringo
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    ph blake wrote: »
    I used to play for a metro wide church league back in middle school/freshman year of high school (so like 20+ years ago, god damnit I'm old), and I think I scored maaaaybe 4 points total across every game over a two year period?

    Had like 6 steals a game though, our entire thing was we had 1 good ball handler who could also shoot, 1 hulking behemoth of a center who could finish just about anywhere in the post, and 3 of us who could pass the ball well and were just hella annoying on defense. I remember the parents of some other team got really, really mad and tried to get the league to ban the full court press because of us lmao (we ran a 1-2-2 zone and gimmicked our way into the playoffs with it, shit was hilarious).

    I've never played organized basketball but I've played occasional pickup games with other chumps and this is how I play. No ability to score but scrappy as shit and constantly poking to get a steal.

    Ticaldfjam
  • MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    When I played with the teens in my neighborhood I was the guy who would get rebounds and one of the few who would pass and not just shoot a three as soon as I was mildly open.

    Ringo
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    The only thing I could do in gym class was occasionally stral and maybe throw a pass. I am 5'8, I don't have a lot of use on a basketball court

  • MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    Mid-range shots are effective now, people either expect a drive to the hoop or all three point shooting.

    Captain Inertia
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    The only thing I could do in gym class was occasionally stral and maybe throw a pass. I am 5'8, I don't have a lot of use on a basketball court

    I'm 5'7" so I was in a similar boat. Then again one of my friends was a 5'2" girl on the basketball team and she would just shred anyone. You'd go to defend her and she'd just nutmeg you and lay it in.

    Ladai
  • burboburbo Registered User regular
    Ive played pickup or league ball every week for the past 25-30 years or so, and there are always players 5'8 or 5'7. It aint like we're talking D1 here, there's a place on the court for players of average or below average height, though i admit the speed/ skill requirements are higher.

    EinzelRingoThe Cow Kingqwer12Ladai
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    the pick-up sport I always had the most success at was street hockey, but the environment to test that ability in any sort of organized fashion I was pretty well done with doing that sort of thing

  • EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    Sounds like we could all field a pretty mediocre team!

    Shit at 5'11" am I the center?

    Ringo
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I was a really good shooter when I was playing.

    That was a long time ago. Now I’m old and everything hurts.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    Magell
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    I used to be able to touch rim

    Einzel
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I used to be able to touch rim

    I could dunk a tennis ball!!

    And I weighed 290lbs!!!

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    TicaldfjamShadowenArdolBlackDragon480
  • EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    I haven't touched a ball since 2017 when I bulged my L4L5 disc doing... I'm not sure. Too much apparently.

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    I shot a bball last year for the first time in about 12 years, and the 2nd in about 20

    When did they make the balls heavier and raise the rims?

    ButtersRingoShadowenEinzelArdolMechMantis
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    I shot a bball last year for the first time in about 12 years, and the 2nd in about 20

    When did they make the balls heavier and raise the rims?

    Everything's heavier than in the past! My Doc keeps saying I gotta exercise more but clearly there's some kind of problem with the Earth's gravitational pull!

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
    The Cow King
  • KelorKelor Registered User regular
    I mostly played basketball at lunch through highschool. I was just okay, but pretty good at reading the kid who played basketball for a team on weekends and got stuck defending him.

    Super happy for Jose Alvarado winning the MVP in the Rising Stars game. He's had to go through a lot to get where he is, always happy to see him enjoy success.

  • burboburbo Registered User regular
    Einzel wrote: »
    Sounds like we could all field a pretty mediocre team!

    Shit at 5'11" am I the center?

    Im 6'2", i got you covered.

    TicaldfjamKelorRingoEinzel
  • Knight_Knight_ Dead Dead Dead Registered User regular
    the literal only good thing about the all star game is the elam ending.

    even for an all star game the defense is absolutely tragic and pathetic. it's barely even basketball, it's like they turned pregame warmups into a sport.

    just a waste of time, give everyone a week off instead

    aeNqQM9.jpg
    Ticaldfjamscherbchenburbo
  • R-demR-dem Registered User regular
    That's a good move. I was NOT looking forward to Russ/Utah drama.

    Ticaldfjam
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    I think it’s amazing the the Clippers will end up employing both John Wall and Westbrook in the same season

    Ticaldfjam
  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Snoqualmie, WARegistered User regular
    R-dem wrote: »
    That's a good move. I was NOT looking forward to Russ/Utah drama.

    Especially after that racist fan was booted from Utah's arena after the "Get on your knees " comment to russ. I was wondering, ain't no way Danny Ainge is gonna accept That dynamic.

    R-dem
  • TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    edited February 20
    Wait - when did John Wall go to the Clippers? Wasn't he traded from Washington to Houston... for Russell Westbrook no less?

    EDIT: Quick look at his wikipedia page tells me he is pretty much done since straining that hamstring in 2021, huh?

    TheBigEasy on
    Ticaldfjam
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    A lot of times people get traded to teams only to be immediately released for...money reasons I can't really explain. Either way, they can then sign somewhere else.

    Sweeney TomMagellRaijin Quickfoot
  • EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    burbo wrote: »
    Einzel wrote: »
    Sounds like we could all field a pretty mediocre team!

    Shit at 5'11" am I the center?

    Im 6'2", i got you covered.

    Shitty power forward it is then!

    burboRingo
  • DirtyboyDirtyboy Registered User regular
    Beverley signing with Bulls, so have fun with that.

    Ticaldfjam
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    they've been losing the "obnoxious player" war pretty badly to Milwaukee ever since they got Grayson Allen, so

    TicaldfjamRingo
  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Snoqualmie, WARegistered User regular
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    they've been losing the "obnoxious player" war pretty badly to Milwaukee ever since they got Grayson Allen, so

    Oh, guess what other "Fuck the Jews" shit head, who would work wonderful with other anti semite, Kyrie Irving, the Bucks signed?

    Myers Leonard.

  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Ticaldfjam wrote: »
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    they've been losing the "obnoxious player" war pretty badly to Milwaukee ever since they got Grayson Allen, so

    Oh, guess what other "Fuck the Jews" shit head, who would work wonderful with other anti semite, Kyrie Irving, the Bucks signed?

    Myers Leonard.

    I was going to say I didn't realize he was still in the league but apparently he hasn't played since before he got suspended for the slur.

    RingoTicaldfjam
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    Ticaldfjam wrote: »
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    they've been losing the "obnoxious player" war pretty badly to Milwaukee ever since they got Grayson Allen, so

    Oh, guess what other "Fuck the Jews" shit head, who would work wonderful with other anti semite, Kyrie Irving, the Bucks signed?

    Myers Leonard.

    Fuck
    The
    Bucks

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
    Ticaldfjam
  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    At least Leonard spent the year+ he was out of the league doing stuff like admitting he fucked up, visiting Holocaust museums, and talking to Rabbi's/Jewish community groups to take sensitivity training and shit.

    No idea if he's actually changed of course, but eh, it's like 100x better than Kyrie's response.

    burboTicaldfjamButtersBlackDragon480
  • KelorKelor Registered User regular
    Myers Leonard
    Grayson Allen
    Jae Crowder

    Is not a group of people I want to root for.

    TicaldfjamBlackDragon480
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited February 21
    Carpy wrote: »
    Ticaldfjam wrote: »
    DJ Eebs wrote: »
    they've been losing the "obnoxious player" war pretty badly to Milwaukee ever since they got Grayson Allen, so

    Oh, guess what other "Fuck the Jews" shit head, who would work wonderful with other anti semite, Kyrie Irving, the Bucks signed?

    Myers Leonard.

    I was going to say I didn't realize he was still in the league but apparently he hasn't played since before he got suspended for the slur.

    Yeah they just signed him to a 10 day today

    Sweeney Tom on
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    It’s all good, Pat Bev is the missing link for that team

    Ticaldfjam
  • burboburbo Registered User regular
    ph blake wrote: »
    At least Leonard spent the year+ he was out of the league doing stuff like admitting he fucked up, visiting Holocaust museums, and talking to Rabbi's/Jewish community groups to take sensitivity training and shit.

    No idea if he's actually changed of course, but eh, it's like 100x better than Kyrie's response.

    Yeah, its hard to know if he was sincere at all. And the idea of his excuse being "id never hear it, im just a dumb dumb" is somehow believable from him, but also pathetic.

    But, i often talk about what actual accountability from public figures would look like, and what Meyers has done is something like that. Hes acknowledging and apologizing in public. Hes working to make it better with the groups who were hurt. Hes not running from anything or saying "i did my time, now no one can ask me about it or have opinions". I feel like its about as well as anyone can do in a society that has no real concept of true accountability and restorative justice

    Its just like worlds apart from Chauncey Billups "what happened made me a better man, and no i wont tell you what happened, and yes if you ask my pr person will shut it down, and yes, there will just be a circle of men around me going deny deny deny."

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    edited February 21
    Karl Malone, who is 59, has a 40-year old kid with a 53-year old woman

    But he says that’s his personal life so nobody is allowed to ask questions about it

    At least he gave Mac McClung perfect scores for all of his dunks

    Captain Inertia on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Fuck Karl Malone

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    Captain InertiaCarpyThe JudgeMagellSirToastyTicaldfjamButtersThe Cow KingSweeney TomPeenShadowenGoose!RingoBlackDragon480ArdolMsAnthropyA Kobold's Kobold
This discussion has been closed.