For me it's easier to mentally tick it as, my last drink/hospital visit was a Saturday night/Sunday morning so if I can make it to that each week I feel like I'm crossing a finish line each time lmao
There are days I've walked up to the door of the liquor store and then had to convince myself to turn around but we're holding strong
For me it's easier to mentally tick it as, my last drink/hospital visit was a Saturday night/Sunday morning so if I can make it to that each week I feel like I'm crossing a finish line each time lmao
There are days I've walked up to the door of the liquor store and then had to convince myself to turn around but we're holding strong
That's real strength, keep it up.
I am in the business of saving lives.
+11
Options
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
I was at a small party last night and was talking to this girl about music. she went out to the porch to smoke a cig and I went with because she asked me to.
She offered me a one, and it was kinda foggy and lit by streetlights and it smelled like wet forest, it was the perfect time for a contemplative cigarette, but I was like "nah, I quit."
I stopped doing heroin and I still had an incredibly difficult time like, psychically wrestling my desire for a nice relaxing smoke back into the dark under-the-stairs where I keep it.
I was at a small party last night and was talking to this girl about music. she went out to the porch to smoke a cig and I went with because she asked me to.
She offered me a one, and it was kinda foggy and lit by streetlights and it smelled like wet forest, it was the perfect time for a contemplative cigarette, but I was like "nah, I quit."
I stopped doing heroin and I still had an incredibly difficult time like, psychically wrestling my desire for a nice relaxing smoke back into the dark under-the-stairs where I keep it.
The environmental factor and triggers aren't to be ignored. After playing with the kids outside all day then grilling for dinner...skipping those beers on the deck on a nice summer day? Closest I've ever come to relapsing.
My birthday is in two days. I don't like making a deal about it, but I usually have a bourbon and cigar and this is going to be the first time skipping that ritual in like a decade.
I was at a small party last night and was talking to this girl about music. she went out to the porch to smoke a cig and I went with because she asked me to.
She offered me a one, and it was kinda foggy and lit by streetlights and it smelled like wet forest, it was the perfect time for a contemplative cigarette, but I was like "nah, I quit."
I stopped doing heroin and I still had an incredibly difficult time like, psychically wrestling my desire for a nice relaxing smoke back into the dark under-the-stairs where I keep it.
Cigarettes are one of the hardest addictions to quit, of all of them. I've helped people get off everything under the sun, but cigarettes and bad relationships are the ones that cause the most trouble. Also weird, they are very hard to get addicted to if you start after 25.
Both my parents were heavy smokers. Well, still are. I always thought it was disgusting so never even considered it.
Then, while very drunk in college, I tried one while walking from one bar to the next. I still remember the exact moment. It was as if my whole brain stem was lit up like a Christmas tree.
Never had one again. But I save myself four cigars a year now.
Used to smoke cigarettes towards the end of highschool. Finally quit for good shortly after I met my wife. It was easy, but also hard? Like, I ran out one night and was like, "I'll go get some later" and it's been nearly 16 years and I still haven't gotten around to getting some. But replacing the habit of having one after meals, or while driving, or playing games, was super difficult and I wanted one so badly. I did take up pipe smoking for a bit, but I quit before I could get addicted because of my heart surgery. Didn't smoke my pipe much anyways, but I think it would have been a matter of time. I DID get addicted to cigars a few years back though, and those were a real pain in the ass to quit. I'd get drunk and stumble down the street and buy some whenever I felt the urge (which was every time I got drunk, which was all the time). Even though the cigars, pipe, and cigarettes are all tobacco products, they were all different in terms how hard they were to quit. While it's all just nicotine addiction, it feels like I quit three distinct things.
Also, I don't know the day but I'm about 7 months sober. Feels pretty nice.
I'm stuck at work for another 2 hours and surprise, that's whats fucking me over today
I'll make it but I started dissociating pretty heavy at one point today to get through some bullshit. I'm listening to music and trying to think about things in a different way but I'm just having a real bitch of a day where nothing seems to be going right. I'll make it.
I bought booze last night but managed to not drink it which is some kinda bizarre power move
I think buying it made me feel really stupid so that I guess worked out
Good. You know you can return it without a problem if it's unopened. I used to work at a liquor store, happens all the time and we are more than happy to take it back.
Well I've been off the wagon for most of the month, lost my job not long ago which accelerated things for me and last night I pissed off my partner by not telling her I was drinking while on the phone with her.
This post is me trying to right the ship, I'm extremely hungover and sick and just disappointed. I don't wanna sit here and wallow in this feeling anymore, I'm tired of feeling powerless while actively doing the thing that makes me feel that way. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed trying not to vomit as I type.
Anyways I'm done feeling sorry for myself and making excuses. I just wanna be better, I wanna do better for the people I care about. I don't wanna just keep going in circles. Today is Tuesday July 26 and it's the last day I'm gonna feel this way. I've said it before and meant it before but I really don't wanna do this anymore.
keep at it; you've been dumped on seriously, it's no shame going back to a comfort zone as long as you realize you need to leave it behind eventually
especially when it's killing you
+12
Options
3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
It's important, as humans, to give ourselves permission to fail. It's okay to fail. It's just also important, once you realize you've failed, to pick yourself back up and try again. You got this shit homes.
+11
Options
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Progress, not perfection. Keep making progress towards sobriety.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
What's done is done, but it looks like you've given yourself a nice record to beat. You've done what is hard; you can do what is harder.
Marty: The future, it's where you're going? Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
+1
Options
Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
Hey hey, today finally arrived, I have been sober for 1,000 days straight.
I am celebrating with some bottled soda and a rewatching of The Legend of the Drunken Master.
I'm gonna be honest, I've been off the wagon for a while, but things are slowly looking up. I don't drink everyday or even every week anymore, usually once a month slipup here and there. My new job is a lot better than my last in that I don't hate myself while I'm there so that's a big weight off my shoulders. Idk I've hit a point where I want to better myself in several ways and just in general take care of myself after years of not giving a shit what I put into my body be that food, booze, drugs or otherwise.
I think I'll make it my new years resolution to quit both booze and energy drinks and actually try to stick to it. My longest sobriety streak was 3 years and I managed to kick red bull for about three months, maybe quitting both cold turkey in the new year will help myself turn a corner. But I'm optimistic.
Local H Jay on
+5
Options
Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
I'm gonna be honest, I've been off the wagon for a while, but things are slowly looking up. I don't drink everyday or even every week anymore, usually once a month slipup here and there. My new job is a lot better than my last in that I don't hate myself while I'm there so that's a big weight off my shoulders. Idk I've hit a point where I want to better myself in several ways and just in general take care of myself after years of not giving a shit what I put into my body be that food, booze, drugs or otherwise.
I think I'll make it my new years resolution to quit both booze and energy drinks and actually try to stick to it. My longest sobriety streak was 3 years and I managed to kick red bull for about three months, maybe quitting both cold turkey in the new year will help myself turn a corner. But I'm optimistic.
woo hoo!
maybe try the no booze and sugar free energy drinks? i just worry that trying to drop all of it at once would be mega hard
Magic Pink on
+5
Options
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
today is the anniversary of the death of a friend of mine. she ODed. this, in and of itself, isn't... uncommon for me, but hers really fucked me up.
we were intimate. I mean, physically, yeah, but that's nothing. it's mostly we just really grokked each other. we knew each other deep down.
I went to her funeral and her mom screamed at me. I let her dad punch me.
I understood. I loved her and I could have tried to make her better, or us both better, but it's so much easier to just be a junkie. making that choice makes me a son of a bitch.
sorry to bum the thread out. I'm uh... several years sober, so there's that! I dunno why, but I've never felt the need to like, keep track.
today is the anniversary of the death of a friend of mine. she ODed. this, in and of itself, isn't... uncommon for me, but hers really fucked me up.
we were intimate. I mean, physically, yeah, but that's nothing. it's mostly we just really grokked each other. we knew each other deep down.
I went to her funeral and her mom screamed at me. I let her dad punch me.
I understood. I loved her and I could have tried to make her better, or us both better, but it's so much easier to just be a junkie. making that choice makes me a son of a bitch.
sorry to bum the thread out. I'm uh... several years sober, so there's that! I dunno why, but I've never felt the need to like, keep track.
damn bro
that's some dark backstory but good on ya
+6
Options
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
today is the anniversary of the death of a friend of mine. she ODed. this, in and of itself, isn't... uncommon for me, but hers really fucked me up.
we were intimate. I mean, physically, yeah, but that's nothing. it's mostly we just really grokked each other. we knew each other deep down.
I went to her funeral and her mom screamed at me. I let her dad punch me.
I understood. I loved her and I could have tried to make her better, or us both better, but it's so much easier to just be a junkie. making that choice makes me a son of a bitch.
sorry to bum the thread out. I'm uh... several years sober, so there's that! I dunno why, but I've never felt the need to like, keep track.
damn bro
that's some dark backstory but good on ya
in addition to being traumatic, it's definitely one of those "keep until I can drop the fuckin' bomb during a conversation" things.
+4
Options
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
so I moved to a new house and I was setting up my bookshelf and while I was placing Dune, one of the bookmarks fell out and it was a like, 5+year old suboxone packet.
there is a whole sub in here.
this is either a gift from past me, a trick from past me, or a trap from past me.
so I moved to a new house and I was setting up my bookshelf and while I was placing Dune, one of the bookmarks fell out and it was a like, 5+year old suboxone packet.
there is a whole sub in here.
this is either a gift from past me, a trick from past me, or a trap from past me.
I dont know exactly where you are in your journey with addiction but you are one of my favorite people here... but if that suboxone is 5 years old it's totally expired now and all the active ingredients are gone.
+2
Options
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
yeah I thought it might have gone off, I'm just gonna toss it.
like, if it worked, it'd make me all nauseous and I'd finish it and be like "hmm I need more drugs" so it's better this way.
Alright, it's time. Time to start trying again. Things haven't been great specifically with my sobriety but once again I made some mistakes while drunk that have helped me turn a corner and try to set myself straight again. Its been a long time since I posted because I was ashamed of how I've slipped up the last few months. But now I think I'm turning a corner and feel confident I can squash this thing, atleast for now. I've been talking about my problems more openly with friends and basically I have a few people who are aware of the situation and have agreed to help me so I can contact them when I feel like drinking.
Shit has been hard the last year but I like my job, love my girlfriend, and want to be proud of who I am so I can be better for my friends and family instead of wallowing in self pity and doubt
To be honest a big factor is health problems and I finally have insurance after a... Decade of not. So I can hopefully try to get some therapy and get myself some actual help instead of just floundering. It's tough and I'm not proud of constantly slipping up but, we back on the grind I think and I wanna hold myself accountable for this stuff
Just realized I've been sober for about a year and two months now! I feel pretty fortunate that everyone in my life has been so supportive, it would have been so much harder otherwise
I'm getting concerned that I might be reliant on THC to get a restful night's sleep. Days where I take my edibles, I fall asleep faster and sleep better. Days where I don't it can take me hours to fall asleep and I don't feel rested when I wake up. I don't like the idea that I'm relying on a chemical to obtain a normal night's sleep, even though I know said chemical isn't harmful or habit-forming. I'm more worried about the ramifications of not having access to it in the future and my sleep issues turning into A Real Problem.
And just to head it off at the pass, my sleep issues are basically that I have a non-24-hour circadian rhythm. If I could, I would have an effectively 30 hour day, where I would sleep for 10 hours and be awake for 20. I have tried every home remedy under the sun to try to fix it, and when weed became legal here in 2020 I tried that and it worked immediately.
Posts
There are days I've walked up to the door of the liquor store and then had to convince myself to turn around but we're holding strong
That's real strength, keep it up.
She offered me a one, and it was kinda foggy and lit by streetlights and it smelled like wet forest, it was the perfect time for a contemplative cigarette, but I was like "nah, I quit."
I stopped doing heroin and I still had an incredibly difficult time like, psychically wrestling my desire for a nice relaxing smoke back into the dark under-the-stairs where I keep it.
The environmental factor and triggers aren't to be ignored. After playing with the kids outside all day then grilling for dinner...skipping those beers on the deck on a nice summer day? Closest I've ever come to relapsing.
My birthday is in two days. I don't like making a deal about it, but I usually have a bourbon and cigar and this is going to be the first time skipping that ritual in like a decade.
Also I'm 7 weeks sober 🤠
Cigarettes are one of the hardest addictions to quit, of all of them. I've helped people get off everything under the sun, but cigarettes and bad relationships are the ones that cause the most trouble. Also weird, they are very hard to get addicted to if you start after 25.
Then, while very drunk in college, I tried one while walking from one bar to the next. I still remember the exact moment. It was as if my whole brain stem was lit up like a Christmas tree.
Never had one again. But I save myself four cigars a year now.
Also, I don't know the day but I'm about 7 months sober. Feels pretty nice.
He gives his toughest battles to his most addicted soliders or something idk I'm pissed as fuck
do angry squats and push ups!
scowl and roar with the effort!
edit: also don't worry buddy, this too shall pass, I guess?
What do you have available that isn't going to wreck your sobriety to relieve stress? Exercise? Music?
Find it. Whatever is testing you today will pass. You've just got to make it to tomorrow.
I'll make it but I started dissociating pretty heavy at one point today to get through some bullshit. I'm listening to music and trying to think about things in a different way but I'm just having a real bitch of a day where nothing seems to be going right. I'll make it.
I think buying it made me feel really stupid so that I guess worked out
Good. You know you can return it without a problem if it's unopened. I used to work at a liquor store, happens all the time and we are more than happy to take it back.
This post is me trying to right the ship, I'm extremely hungover and sick and just disappointed. I don't wanna sit here and wallow in this feeling anymore, I'm tired of feeling powerless while actively doing the thing that makes me feel that way. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed trying not to vomit as I type.
Anyways I'm done feeling sorry for myself and making excuses. I just wanna be better, I wanna do better for the people I care about. I don't wanna just keep going in circles. Today is Tuesday July 26 and it's the last day I'm gonna feel this way. I've said it before and meant it before but I really don't wanna do this anymore.
especially when it's killing you
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
I am celebrating with some bottled soda and a rewatching of The Legend of the Drunken Master.
Fuck yeah dude!
i'm finishing off a bottle of wine after stealing my bf's 99cent gin bottles 2 days ago because everything seems dark an crumbling
but two weeks vacation comin up
I think I'll make it my new years resolution to quit both booze and energy drinks and actually try to stick to it. My longest sobriety streak was 3 years and I managed to kick red bull for about three months, maybe quitting both cold turkey in the new year will help myself turn a corner. But I'm optimistic.
In three weeks I will be four years sober.
Probably gonna treat myself with some eggnog.
woo hoo!
maybe try the no booze and sugar free energy drinks? i just worry that trying to drop all of it at once would be mega hard
we were intimate. I mean, physically, yeah, but that's nothing. it's mostly we just really grokked each other. we knew each other deep down.
I went to her funeral and her mom screamed at me. I let her dad punch me.
I understood. I loved her and I could have tried to make her better, or us both better, but it's so much easier to just be a junkie. making that choice makes me a son of a bitch.
sorry to bum the thread out. I'm uh... several years sober, so there's that! I dunno why, but I've never felt the need to like, keep track.
damn bro
that's some dark backstory but good on ya
in addition to being traumatic, it's definitely one of those "keep until I can drop the fuckin' bomb during a conversation" things.
there is a whole sub in here.
this is either a gift from past me, a trick from past me, or a trap from past me.
I dont know exactly where you are in your journey with addiction but you are one of my favorite people here... but if that suboxone is 5 years old it's totally expired now and all the active ingredients are gone.
like, if it worked, it'd make me all nauseous and I'd finish it and be like "hmm I need more drugs" so it's better this way.
this feels like a moment.
Shit has been hard the last year but I like my job, love my girlfriend, and want to be proud of who I am so I can be better for my friends and family instead of wallowing in self pity and doubt
To be honest a big factor is health problems and I finally have insurance after a... Decade of not. So I can hopefully try to get some therapy and get myself some actual help instead of just floundering. It's tough and I'm not proud of constantly slipping up but, we back on the grind I think and I wanna hold myself accountable for this stuff
Wish me luck
me too hi 5
And just to head it off at the pass, my sleep issues are basically that I have a non-24-hour circadian rhythm. If I could, I would have an effectively 30 hour day, where I would sleep for 10 hours and be awake for 20. I have tried every home remedy under the sun to try to fix it, and when weed became legal here in 2020 I tried that and it worked immediately.