I'm reasonably certain one can't sue over not reading the info sheet in this case. If she was a smoker and had been put on it and then gotten a DVT, sure, because that's an actual contraindicator, but 'harmless' interactions don't count. I guess one could argue that pregnancy isn't harmless, but you'd have to counter the assertion that pregnancy isn't inevitable after BC failure. I dunno, sounds complicated.
Who said anything about suing? I just said he could probably get in trouble; as in reprimanded, possibly? Which he should.
Also have you guys told the rest of the family yet? Sure they may be pissed off at you guys for a few weeks but it is important that both of you can go to someone for emotional support.
We've told her parents, because they wanted to know what was bothering us, you know the whole fighting thing.
Astonishing as it seems, her parents are completely satisfied with the situation, and hope for the best. they even suggested names... However, my parents are completely oblivious to the situation... and I know breaking it to them is going to be difficult.
And as for keeping her busy, and the craziness of things? She wants to go look at engagement rings and houses today, but I hope she keeps in mind that I don't intend to ask her to marry me, yet. When I'm ready I will, I just don't think that now is the time to get married, because I'm still completely against the idea.
Reading this thread is making me a little scared...
I mean are you guys even ready for a child?
Like, it sounds like you guys are still dealing with issues between yourselves (she wants to get married, you are not ready), and unless you're really ready to bring this kid into the world, maybe you should reconsider keeping the child and REALLY consider putting the child up for adoption.
Also, are you guys financially equipped to handle a child? Think of everything... Doctor visits, hospital stays, food, diapers, baby stuff, clothes... oh AND the rediculous costs of BOTH an engagement ring and a house?
Sure love and nurture can do a lot for a child, but I can tell you that you won't be seeing the thing if both of you are working all of the time to keep your heads above the water.
If you are indeed prepared to deal with all of this, then I wish the best of luck to you and your girlfriend.
However, I urge you to consider adoption for this child.
In either situation, Don't rush into a marriage, don't rush into buying a house. If things turn sour, you could end up seriously screwed. I'm not saying it will happen, but it could.
on the child name thing, Mrs Arbiter and I have a system that I think you would like.
the First name you two have to agree on, but each of you get a Middle name that each other can not veto.
Case in point for a future daughter we thoguht about the following
Emily Rene Guenevere B***y (last name edited out for my privacy) the Guenevere being MY choice (arthurian legend and all)
the fun thing is trying to creat cool names for the initials B.O.M.B.
You two lovebirds are not going to make so I would look for an alternate solution. I hate to break it to you but I don't see any scenario where this won't end up in disaster. Too much baggage, misgivings and really bad sentiment are involved here.
the alternate solution (there are more than one) I am not even going to dare suggesting as it wouldn't be anyone's place besides y'alls.
Reading this thread is making me a little scared...
I mean are you guys even ready for a child?
Like, it sounds like you guys are still dealing with issues between yourselves (she wants to get married, you are not ready), and unless you're really ready to bring this kid into the world, maybe you should reconsider keeping the child and REALLY consider putting the child up for adoption.
Also, are you guys financially equipped to handle a child? Think of everything... Doctor visits, hospital stays, food, diapers, baby stuff, clothes... oh AND the rediculous costs of BOTH an engagement ring and a house?
Sure love and nurture can do a lot for a child, but I can tell you that you won't be seeing the thing if both of you are working all of the time to keep your heads above the water.
If you are indeed prepared to deal with all of this, then I wish the best of luck to you and your girlfriend.
However, I urge you to consider adoption for this child.
In either situation, Don't rush into a marriage, don't rush into buying a house. If things turn sour, you could end up seriously screwed. I'm not saying it will happen, but it could.
Financially set? Yes, more than most people who have children. And As I've stated before, we are keeping the option of "Open Adoption," in mind. When I say I'm not ready to commit, I mean... I just don't want to put a ring on her finger and make it completely official yet, since we still have some issues. But we are both financially equipped enough to handle a child. And both of us have health insurance through the companies in which we work... so the bills are covered. Not only that but she works as a secretary for a law firm, (she's going to college for business management, so that is the job in which the college has placed her for field training.) and I work for my father's construction corp. so I'm pretty well set. We both have plenty of money in our savings.
Don't for one second, think that I am misunderstanding the importance of this situation, I'm pretty sure I've said millions of times that I am not ready for marriage, but that doesn't mean I can't learn to be a father, rather tan push my child off onto someone else, when I can try. At least if I try I can tell the child I did, if one day he/she came to me asking why I gave him up for adoption, at least then I would be able to tell my child that I did try, but I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility and cared about him/her enough to put it in a loving home, with parents who could care for him/her and give the child the attention and love it needs/deserves, rather than know or not know that I could've taken care of the child and then I may decide to have a family later on. Do you realize the guilt I would feel? And the Complex that my child would have?
Regardless, I'm going to TRY, as I've previously stated.
My girlfriend has said she's willing to let me name our child (when we have one) Peter Parker.
I don't know if to be happy or scared.
And as to tony_important, the two of them having issues at present shouldn't correlate to them putting the kid up for adoption. So if it doesn't work out and they split up, should they not have the child? Plenty of kids have seperated parents.
No, I'm not discounting that.
I was just thinking that there is a lot to consider (and the OP has obviously done his mental homework over this), and I was just trying to offer my perspective.
I just think that people who are not prepared to deal with a child and all that comes with it should at least consider adoption. I know the OP has considered everything that comes along with having a child, and that's great. I applaud his decision to give it (raising his child) a try.
However, I'm still curious as to how people think that someone who was adopted can have a complex or something once they find it out. Yes I understand that it would be weird to find out your birth parents are not the people who raised you, but if the situation was made clear that you wouldn't have survived mentally/physically/developmentally had you have stayed (depending on the situation, it's different for everybody), than I think you might be able to see that there were people out there that cared enough for you life and well being (that didn't even know you) to raise you and love you as their own child.
My parents split up when I was at a very young age, and I can tell you it's not really a whole lot of fun when most of your youth is spent as a weapon against one or the other parent. It was difficult on all of my family and I've gained some perspective on the value of the strength of a loving relationship.
With all of that said, I just wanted to say that bringing a child into this world is a big responsibility, and in the end, if you end up screwing up (not saying you would OP) because you really weren't ready to deal with everything, it's not just your life that's going to be a mess.
Might be a little late, but I’d like to chime in a bit. Seems a lot of people are discussing what should be done with the child and I just wanted to comment on the soon to be parents.
I can understand how the OP is totally freaking out. Having a child is a really big decision. When my wife and I found out we were pregnant last December I was freaking out a lot. And that was a planned pregnancy. Thing was, my wife was freaking out as well too.
In that regard all of her “test†and new conditions for how you spend your time can make a lot of sense. My fears at the time went as follows,
Do I really want to have a baby? Do I want to be a father? Will I be a good father? Am I ready? Am I ready? Will my wife still want to spend time with me or will the baby take over all of our time?
When her morning sickness kicked into overdrive and I was looking after her all the time most of those fear vanished, since I just became a care-taker. Since then my fears about having children have gone completely and I couldn’t want anything more. (We had a miscarriage in January, 9 weeks in to the pregnancy)
I spoke about my fears with my wife and she told me that she had her own but separate fears. On her side there wasn’t any doubt as to whether she wanted the baby. Although we had doubts before, once she was pregnant that all went away. A part of this probably has to do with hormones and instinct but that’s neither here nor there.
Her fears went something like this,
Am I ready? Will I be a good mother? Will the baby take over all of my time and I won’t spend as much with my husband? Will my husband still be there for me?
Her biggest fear was whether I’d still be there for me, since she needed my help a great deal and would continue to need my help after the baby was born. I imagine that your girlfriend is going through the same sort of thing. This is a huge thing in her life and she absolutely needs you, throughout the pregnancy and afterwards. She wants to know and be sure that you’ll be there for her and will help her through this.
No, I'm not discounting that.
However, I'm still curious as to how people think that someone who was adopted can have a complex or something once they find it out. Yes I understand that it would be weird to find out your birth parents are not the people who raised you, but if the situation was made clear that you wouldn't have survived mentally/physically/developmentally had you have stayed (depending on the situation, it's different for everybody), than I think you might be able to see that there were people out there that cared enough for you life and well being (that didn't even know you) to raise you and love you as their own child.
Well, I guess I should honestly rephrase my opinion to adoption and this child, as it OBVIOUSLY came out completely wrong.
My thoughts were that my future child, if given up for adoption, could grow up, come back and want to meet me, and face it, I'm no young child who's completely and utterly incapable of raising a child, there's a possibility one day, that I will have children in the not-so-far future. With that said the child could see my family, and wonder why he was given up, which I'm assuming would give any child a complex. As in... "Why didn't my parents want me?" Not the mere fact that he was adopted in general. Never having to deal with the fact, I don't know how it would be to know I was adopted, but I'm sure I'd be grateful that someone was willing to take me in. However, in this case, I was not referring to the fact that that he/she was adopted would give the child a complex.
Well, the situation sure is turning better than it looked like in the first topic on G&T. I'm glad that the talk you had with your GF was actually a positive one where you settled up a lot of issues, and that you seem to have accepted the situation and decided to properly deal with it. Congrats!
Just don't let her, or your family, or anyone push you into getting married. You don't want to end up miserable and resentful in two years then spend the rest of it trying to find a way out of your marriage.
No, I'm not discounting that.
However, I'm still curious as to how people think that someone who was adopted can have a complex or something once they find it out. Yes I understand that it would be weird to find out your birth parents are not the people who raised you, but if the situation was made clear that you wouldn't have survived mentally/physically/developmentally had you have stayed (depending on the situation, it's different for everybody), than I think you might be able to see that there were people out there that cared enough for you life and well being (that didn't even know you) to raise you and love you as their own child.
Well, I guess I should honestly rephrase my opinion to adoption and this child, as it OBVIOUSLY came out completely wrong.
My thoughts were that my future child, if given up for adoption, could grow up, come back and want to meet me, and face it, I'm no young child who's completely and utterly incapable of raising a child, there's a possibility one day, that I will have children in the not-so-far future. With that said the child could see my family, and wonder why he was given up, which I'm assuming would give any child a complex. As in... "Why didn't my parents want me?" Not the mere fact that he was adopted in general. Never having to deal with the fact, I don't know how it would be to know I was adopted, but I'm sure I'd be grateful that someone was willing to take me in. However, in this case, I was not referring to the fact that that he/she was adopted would give the child a complex.
Eh?
I understand what you were saying from the get-go with your point. If it was me, I'm sure it might have an impact on me, but there's no way to tell as I've never experienced that situation.
I was referring to the somewhat moronic view that some people have regarding people who were adopted, which I think is "You're adopted? You must be fucked in the head because of your parents not being your parents!"
I can't wrap my head around how people think sometimes.
I went through a similar situation with an ex when I was 22, only with my case, in the end, it turned out to be a false alarm (pregnancy test gave a false indicator; her OB/GYN confirmed she was not pregnant, but not until after 1 month of craziness).
I dealt with it by just being supportive: Constantly tell her that everything was gonna be ok (even though inside I was terrified) and such.
I applaud you for getting over your initial freak-out (as I also had, but fortunately I had it alone as she told me over the phone while she was away with family) and "manning-up." I hope all goes well, and congrats!
I went through a similar situation with an ex when I was 22, only with my case, in the end, it turned out to be a false alarm (pregnancy test gave a false indicator; her OB/GYN confirmed she was not pregnant, but not until after 1 month of craziness).
I dealt with it by just being supportive: Constantly tell her that everything was gonna be ok (even though inside I was terrified) and such.
I applaud you for getting over your initial freak-out (as I also had, but fortunately I had it alone as she told me over the phone while she was away with family) and "manning-up." I hope all goes well, and congrats!
I went through a similar situation with an ex when I was 22, only with my case, in the end, it turned out to be a false alarm (pregnancy test gave a false indicator; her OB/GYN confirmed she was not pregnant, but not until after 1 month of craziness).
I dealt with it by just being supportive: Constantly tell her that everything was gonna be ok (even though inside I was terrified) and such.
I applaud you for getting over your initial freak-out (as I also had, but fortunately I had it alone as she told me over the phone while she was away with family) and "manning-up." I hope all goes well, and congrats!
so are the two of you still together?
No we are not, but our break-up had nothing to do with the false-pregnancy, and everything to do with her moving away to pursue her career. It was a mutual break-up, and we still talk as friends.
Had she gotten pregnant, however, we would have dealt with it appropriately (not gotten married right away, but kept the baby and raised it together, as we were both very secure financially and fairly mature for our ages).
No we are not, but our break-up had nothing to do with the false-pregnancy, and everything to do with her moving away to pursue her career. It was a mutual break-up, and we still talk as friends.
Had she gotten pregnant, however, we would have dealt with it appropriately (not gotten married right away, but kept the baby and raised it together, as we were both very secure financially and fairly mature for our ages).
to me it sounds like the two of you were fairly civil. I dated a girl who hated my game hobby just as the OP and I found it oppressive. But she never went so far as buying The Sim2 as a litmus test for our relationship. If she had I would have looked at yon hills and then promptly made a break for said hills.
No we are not, but our break-up had nothing to do with the false-pregnancy, and everything to do with her moving away to pursue her career. It was a mutual break-up, and we still talk as friends.
Had she gotten pregnant, however, we would have dealt with it appropriately (not gotten married right away, but kept the baby and raised it together, as we were both very secure financially and fairly mature for our ages).
to me it sounds like the two of you were fairly civil. I dated a girl who hated my game hobby just as the OP and I found it oppressive. But she never went so far as buying The Sim2 as a litmus test for our relationship. If she had I would have looked at yon hills and then promptly made a break for said hills.
Had that happened, I would have just asked her what she thought it would accomplish? If she mentioned anything about "how nurturing I could be" etc, I would explain the facets of the concept of a game, and how the Sims is such a terrible, terrible indicator for how well you will do in life, especially considering the limited set of possible actions/reactions designed by the game makers, etc.
Logic almost always wins out in the end, unless the person is truly incapable of logical reasoning, in which case, yes, the hills would have been calling me too.
well, the thought that both condoms and the pill were used raises about 900 more questions. I know the chance still exists, as 97% + 97% effectiveness(which is about where both of those contraceptives are) still leaves about a 0.97% chance that she can get pregnant. And even then, it very much depends on the day, so the chances of it even being that high of a percentage are nil.
I'd be asking if she was lying about the pill, or about something else.
She's obviously freaking out over this, as she should be, if she's around your age and pregnant, that would scare anyone. I know that i'm 20, my girlfriend is 21, and I dunno what I do if she got pregnant.
You need to sit down, have a very serious discussion about a lot of things.
hmmm well my lack of maturity is probably why I not in a relationship for any amount of time really. :P
I would do TERRIBLE at Sim 2.
"Baby I am an original Sims man gimmie another chance! How did I know the baby needed love to live? I was busy trapping incompatible people in doorless rooms and starting fires!"
well, the thought that both condoms and the pill were used raises about 900 more questions. I know the chance still exists, as 97% + 97% effectiveness(which is about where both of those contraceptives are) still leaves about a 0.97% chance that she can get pregnant. And even then, it very much depends on the day, so the chances of it even being that high of a percentage are nil.
I'd be asking if she was lying about the pill, or about something else.
She's obviously freaking out over this, as she should be, if she's around your age and pregnant, that would scare anyone. I know that i'm 20, my girlfriend is 21, and I dunno what I do if she got pregnant.
You need to sit down, have a very serious discussion about a lot of things.
and for the love of god DO NOT involve the sims.
It was already explained that she took antibiotics that were later found out to cancel the effects of oral contraceptive, AND they did not always use a condom.
hmmm well my lack of maturity is probably why I not in a relationship for any amount of time really. :P
I would do TERRIBLE at Sim 2.
"Baby I am an original Sims man gimmie another chance! How did I know the baby needed love to live? I was busy trapping incompatible people in doorless rooms and starting fires!"
HAH. Yea, I actually played it today, for a little while, and it is quite intriguing and extremely difficult. i.e. My baby got taken away and my Kid Flunked School and took off to the military after that. Since my family had nothing more to live for I used a cheat code, and placed the parents in a room with chairs and a fireplace. Of course there were more chairs needed, to make Fires, and Lots of it. But to my disappointment, there's no way to decapitate them, and they don't walk around flaming, they just turn into urns, that you can't whiz on?! IT'S LIKE TORTURE! But yea, I hope the original rules aren't still standing... cause if they are, I'm really fucked.
hmmm well my lack of maturity is probably why I not in a relationship for any amount of time really. :P
I would do TERRIBLE at Sim 2.
"Baby I am an original Sims man gimmie another chance! How did I know the baby needed love to live? I was busy trapping incompatible people in doorless rooms and starting fires!"
HAH. Yea, I actually played it today, for a little while, and it is quite intriguing and extremely difficult. i.e. My baby got taken away and my Kid Flunked School and took off to the military after that. Since my family had nothing more to live for I used a cheat code, and placed the parents in a room with chairs and a fireplace. Of course there were more chairs needed, to make Fires, and Lots of it. But to my disappointment, there's no way to decapitate them, and they don't walk around flaming, they just turn into urns, that you can't whiz on?! IT'S LIKE TORTURE! But yea, I hope the original rules aren't still standing... cause if they are, I'm really fucked.
I like the cut of your job mister. You can have my baby anytime you'd like.
just make the sims really old, when when they are older, kill the wife, and marry the younger caliente sisters in the town.
i love the sims. OR get the 2nd expansion and make your wife a zombie.
no but really. That is horribly fucked up. If your girlfriend is deciding the fate of your relationship on a game she has real issues. Trust me, I am a psycho girl myself, but holy jesus. that is bad.
A lot of great advice has been given thus far, but I wanted to add to it. You really need to tell your girlfriend that having a baby together does not mean you're going to get married. I do understand the familial and religious implications of this, but it seems from your posts, that she's pretty sure marriage is the next step - either before or immediately following the birth and that you are not necessarily thinking along those lines.
It's really a bad idea to get married just because of the kid especially if you're not ready to get married or don't necessarily want to spend the rest of your life with her as your partner. You may be parents together for the rest of your life, but that's very different from being married.
There are a lot of ways to explain this to her that will be kind and true. The angle I suggest is that you want to be sure when you get married that you're getting married for the right reason -that you love one another and want to share your lives. With all the baby craziness you'll both be going through for the next 2 to 3 years, you may not be able to clearly understand the situation. This way, when and if you do propose, she'll know it's her that you want and not just obligation driving you.
just make the sims really old, when when they are older, kill the wife, and marry the younger caliente sisters in the town.
i love the sims. OR get the 2nd expansion and make your wife a zombie.
no but really. That is horribly fucked up. If your girlfriend is deciding the fate of your relationship on a game she has real issues. Trust me, I am a psycho girl myself, but holy jesus. that is bad.
ZOMMMMBEHS You say? What is this expansion pack you speak of?!
University has zombies, Night life as vampires. i am not sure how extensive are the rest of the expansions. But the zombies are awsome. You have to bring them back to life if the sim dies. you can find it all onthe internets im sure. Good luck!
Posts
Who said anything about suing? I just said he could probably get in trouble; as in reprimanded, possibly? Which he should.
We've told her parents, because they wanted to know what was bothering us, you know the whole fighting thing.
Astonishing as it seems, her parents are completely satisfied with the situation, and hope for the best. they even suggested names... However, my parents are completely oblivious to the situation... and I know breaking it to them is going to be difficult.
And as for keeping her busy, and the craziness of things? She wants to go look at engagement rings and houses today, but I hope she keeps in mind that I don't intend to ask her to marry me, yet. When I'm ready I will, I just don't think that now is the time to get married, because I'm still completely against the idea.
Marriage is a massive commitment, so is having a kid with someone. The two aren't mutually tied together though so you do right. Stick to your guns.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
I mean are you guys even ready for a child?
Like, it sounds like you guys are still dealing with issues between yourselves (she wants to get married, you are not ready), and unless you're really ready to bring this kid into the world, maybe you should reconsider keeping the child and REALLY consider putting the child up for adoption.
Also, are you guys financially equipped to handle a child? Think of everything... Doctor visits, hospital stays, food, diapers, baby stuff, clothes... oh AND the rediculous costs of BOTH an engagement ring and a house?
Sure love and nurture can do a lot for a child, but I can tell you that you won't be seeing the thing if both of you are working all of the time to keep your heads above the water.
If you are indeed prepared to deal with all of this, then I wish the best of luck to you and your girlfriend.
However, I urge you to consider adoption for this child.
In either situation, Don't rush into a marriage, don't rush into buying a house. If things turn sour, you could end up seriously screwed. I'm not saying it will happen, but it could.
the First name you two have to agree on, but each of you get a Middle name that each other can not veto.
Case in point for a future daughter we thoguht about the following
Emily Rene Guenevere B***y (last name edited out for my privacy) the Guenevere being MY choice (arthurian legend and all)
the fun thing is trying to creat cool names for the initials B.O.M.B.
the alternate solution (there are more than one) I am not even going to dare suggesting as it wouldn't be anyone's place besides y'alls.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Financially set? Yes, more than most people who have children. And As I've stated before, we are keeping the option of "Open Adoption," in mind. When I say I'm not ready to commit, I mean... I just don't want to put a ring on her finger and make it completely official yet, since we still have some issues. But we are both financially equipped enough to handle a child. And both of us have health insurance through the companies in which we work... so the bills are covered. Not only that but she works as a secretary for a law firm, (she's going to college for business management, so that is the job in which the college has placed her for field training.) and I work for my father's construction corp. so I'm pretty well set. We both have plenty of money in our savings.
Don't for one second, think that I am misunderstanding the importance of this situation, I'm pretty sure I've said millions of times that I am not ready for marriage, but that doesn't mean I can't learn to be a father, rather tan push my child off onto someone else, when I can try. At least if I try I can tell the child I did, if one day he/she came to me asking why I gave him up for adoption, at least then I would be able to tell my child that I did try, but I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility and cared about him/her enough to put it in a loving home, with parents who could care for him/her and give the child the attention and love it needs/deserves, rather than know or not know that I could've taken care of the child and then I may decide to have a family later on. Do you realize the guilt I would feel? And the Complex that my child would have?
Regardless, I'm going to TRY, as I've previously stated.
I don't know if to be happy or scared.
And as to tony_important, the two of them having issues at present shouldn't correlate to them putting the kid up for adoption. So if it doesn't work out and they split up, should they not have the child? Plenty of kids have seperated parents.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
I was just thinking that there is a lot to consider (and the OP has obviously done his mental homework over this), and I was just trying to offer my perspective.
I just think that people who are not prepared to deal with a child and all that comes with it should at least consider adoption. I know the OP has considered everything that comes along with having a child, and that's great. I applaud his decision to give it (raising his child) a try.
However, I'm still curious as to how people think that someone who was adopted can have a complex or something once they find it out. Yes I understand that it would be weird to find out your birth parents are not the people who raised you, but if the situation was made clear that you wouldn't have survived mentally/physically/developmentally had you have stayed (depending on the situation, it's different for everybody), than I think you might be able to see that there were people out there that cared enough for you life and well being (that didn't even know you) to raise you and love you as their own child.
My parents split up when I was at a very young age, and I can tell you it's not really a whole lot of fun when most of your youth is spent as a weapon against one or the other parent. It was difficult on all of my family and I've gained some perspective on the value of the strength of a loving relationship.
With all of that said, I just wanted to say that bringing a child into this world is a big responsibility, and in the end, if you end up screwing up (not saying you would OP) because you really weren't ready to deal with everything, it's not just your life that's going to be a mess.
That's what I was trying to say. mostly.
I can understand how the OP is totally freaking out. Having a child is a really big decision. When my wife and I found out we were pregnant last December I was freaking out a lot. And that was a planned pregnancy. Thing was, my wife was freaking out as well too.
In that regard all of her “test†and new conditions for how you spend your time can make a lot of sense. My fears at the time went as follows, When her morning sickness kicked into overdrive and I was looking after her all the time most of those fear vanished, since I just became a care-taker. Since then my fears about having children have gone completely and I couldn’t want anything more. (We had a miscarriage in January, 9 weeks in to the pregnancy)
I spoke about my fears with my wife and she told me that she had her own but separate fears. On her side there wasn’t any doubt as to whether she wanted the baby. Although we had doubts before, once she was pregnant that all went away. A part of this probably has to do with hormones and instinct but that’s neither here nor there.
Her fears went something like this, Her biggest fear was whether I’d still be there for me, since she needed my help a great deal and would continue to need my help after the baby was born. I imagine that your girlfriend is going through the same sort of thing. This is a huge thing in her life and she absolutely needs you, throughout the pregnancy and afterwards. She wants to know and be sure that you’ll be there for her and will help her through this.
Good luck and congratulations.
Well, I guess I should honestly rephrase my opinion to adoption and this child, as it OBVIOUSLY came out completely wrong.
My thoughts were that my future child, if given up for adoption, could grow up, come back and want to meet me, and face it, I'm no young child who's completely and utterly incapable of raising a child, there's a possibility one day, that I will have children in the not-so-far future. With that said the child could see my family, and wonder why he was given up, which I'm assuming would give any child a complex. As in... "Why didn't my parents want me?" Not the mere fact that he was adopted in general. Never having to deal with the fact, I don't know how it would be to know I was adopted, but I'm sure I'd be grateful that someone was willing to take me in. However, in this case, I was not referring to the fact that that he/she was adopted would give the child a complex.
Eh?
Just don't let her, or your family, or anyone push you into getting married. You don't want to end up miserable and resentful in two years then spend the rest of it trying to find a way out of your marriage.
I understand what you were saying from the get-go with your point. If it was me, I'm sure it might have an impact on me, but there's no way to tell as I've never experienced that situation.
I was referring to the somewhat moronic view that some people have regarding people who were adopted, which I think is "You're adopted? You must be fucked in the head because of your parents not being your parents!"
I can't wrap my head around how people think sometimes.
I dealt with it by just being supportive: Constantly tell her that everything was gonna be ok (even though inside I was terrified) and such.
I applaud you for getting over your initial freak-out (as I also had, but fortunately I had it alone as she told me over the phone while she was away with family) and "manning-up." I hope all goes well, and congrats!
so are the two of you still together?
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
No we are not, but our break-up had nothing to do with the false-pregnancy, and everything to do with her moving away to pursue her career. It was a mutual break-up, and we still talk as friends.
Had she gotten pregnant, however, we would have dealt with it appropriately (not gotten married right away, but kept the baby and raised it together, as we were both very secure financially and fairly mature for our ages).
to me it sounds like the two of you were fairly civil. I dated a girl who hated my game hobby just as the OP and I found it oppressive. But she never went so far as buying The Sim2 as a litmus test for our relationship. If she had I would have looked at yon hills and then promptly made a break for said hills.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Had that happened, I would have just asked her what she thought it would accomplish? If she mentioned anything about "how nurturing I could be" etc, I would explain the facets of the concept of a game, and how the Sims is such a terrible, terrible indicator for how well you will do in life, especially considering the limited set of possible actions/reactions designed by the game makers, etc.
Logic almost always wins out in the end, unless the person is truly incapable of logical reasoning, in which case, yes, the hills would have been calling me too.
I'd be asking if she was lying about the pill, or about something else.
She's obviously freaking out over this, as she should be, if she's around your age and pregnant, that would scare anyone. I know that i'm 20, my girlfriend is 21, and I dunno what I do if she got pregnant.
You need to sit down, have a very serious discussion about a lot of things.
and for the love of god DO NOT involve the sims.
I would do TERRIBLE at Sim 2.
"Baby I am an original Sims man gimmie another chance! How did I know the baby needed love to live? I was busy trapping incompatible people in doorless rooms and starting fires!"
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
It was already explained that she took antibiotics that were later found out to cancel the effects of oral contraceptive, AND they did not always use a condom.
I love trapping people with washing machines and watch the idiots die of starvation.
Stupid game.
HAH. Yea, I actually played it today, for a little while, and it is quite intriguing and extremely difficult. i.e. My baby got taken away and my Kid Flunked School and took off to the military after that. Since my family had nothing more to live for I used a cheat code, and placed the parents in a room with chairs and a fireplace. Of course there were more chairs needed, to make Fires, and Lots of it. But to my disappointment, there's no way to decapitate them, and they don't walk around flaming, they just turn into urns, that you can't whiz on?! IT'S LIKE TORTURE! But yea, I hope the original rules aren't still standing... cause if they are, I'm really fucked.
I like the cut of your job mister. You can have my baby anytime you'd like.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
i love the sims. OR get the 2nd expansion and make your wife a zombie.
no but really. That is horribly fucked up. If your girlfriend is deciding the fate of your relationship on a game she has real issues. Trust me, I am a psycho girl myself, but holy jesus. that is bad.
It's really a bad idea to get married just because of the kid especially if you're not ready to get married or don't necessarily want to spend the rest of your life with her as your partner. You may be parents together for the rest of your life, but that's very different from being married.
There are a lot of ways to explain this to her that will be kind and true. The angle I suggest is that you want to be sure when you get married that you're getting married for the right reason -that you love one another and want to share your lives. With all the baby craziness you'll both be going through for the next 2 to 3 years, you may not be able to clearly understand the situation. This way, when and if you do propose, she'll know it's her that you want and not just obligation driving you.
ZOMMMMBEHS You say? What is this expansion pack you speak of?!
ON WITH ET!