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BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO JELQING & Frequently Asked Questions

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Posts

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited January 2023
    teoqpfgofezp.png

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    So glad I have that at the top of the page for however long it takes us to jelq out 40 posts

  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    So glad I have that at the top of the page for however long it takes us to jelq out 40 posts

    I can't believe we haven't been able to jelq our page length to at least 60 posts per page.

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    teoqpfgofezp.png

    You will pay for your crimes

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    kp6cw0talvgf.png

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Thursday, innit?

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Thursday, innit?

    No, it's Friday. Wait, did they forget to turn on the Thursday thread yesterday?

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    jelqing is completely yesterday's news, now we all use the SWAG procedure to effortlessly increase girth, girth's really where it's at

  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Are choads in now? I know mullets are a thing and it feels like they are the hair equivalent of choads. Maybe it is a whole "being terrible is awesome!" thing I have completely missed the boat on.

  • OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Are choads in now? I know mullets are a thing and it feels like they are the hair equivalent of choads. Maybe it is a whole "being terrible is awesome!" thing I have completely missed the boat on.

    As a choad

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    SWAG procedure?

    Super wide and girthy?

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    If you have to ask if it's in, it's not a choad

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    Whether length or whether girth
    Our techniques improve your worth
    Inches gained, scars barely seen
    We guarantee to grow your peen

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    The lack of guards absolutely terrifies me

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Is jelqing a choad a bit like rolling dough, where the longer it gets the thinner it gets?

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Orca wrote: »
    The lack of guards absolutely terrifies me

    tryna think how you would even guard something like that. A hood with a light curtain is the best i can come up with

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Orca wrote: »
    The lack of guards absolutely terrifies me

    tryna think how you would even guard something like that. A hood with a light curtain is the best i can come up with

    I wouldn't want to have hands anywhere near that thing. I dunno. Some kind of tool? I'm just imagining somebody fucking up and their arm going in there.

  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

    bkvent0zwam0.png

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    it is my unfortunate duty to report that there is a friday poster in the thursday thread

    EzUAYcn.png
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    when it comes to thrusday:

    im a narc
    im a stoolie
    im a snitch
    im a bootlicker
    i WILL report you >:(

    EzUAYcn.png
  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

    I think the Harley Quinn VD special answers this very well.

  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA mod
    crwth wrote: »
    when it comes to thrusday:

    im a narc
    im a stoolie
    im a snitch
    im a bootlicker
    i WILL report you >:(

    Okay Raijin can come to you if he wants his infraction reversed.

  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    heh…fat freaking chance!

    EzUAYcn.png
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    I'm honestly shaking and nauseous at the betrayal right now

    how could he

  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

    I think the Harley Quinn VD special answers this very well.

    I don't have a way of watching that

  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA mod
    crwth wrote: »
    when it comes to thrusday:

    im a narc
    im a stoolie
    im a snitch
    im a bootlicker
    i WILL report you >:(

    Okay so second post on this: someone reported his post 50 minutes after Raijin was infracted.

    You know who you are, and you should feel ashamed.

  • OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    Who reports the reporter?

  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    when it comes to thrusday:

    im a narc
    im a stoolie
    im a snitch
    im a bootlicker
    i WILL report you >:(

    I'm a sinner
    I'm a saint
    A Thursday it just ain't

  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    edited February 2023
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

    I think the Harley Quinn VD special answers this very well.

    I don't have a way of watching that

    I don’t have HBO, but the trailer told me enough.

    (The trailer is even nsfw enough that I’ll just let people search YouTube for “Harley Quinn valentine’s special” themselves, instead of putting it here)

    Perrsun on
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    when it comes to thrusday:

    im a narc
    im a stoolie
    im a snitch
    im a bootlicker
    i WILL report you >:(

    I'm a sinner
    I'm a saint
    A Thursday it just ain't

    this is exactly what went through my head

    got confused at the fourth line and downright annoyed at the last

  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Perrsun wrote: »
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    Would the comic character Bane jelq?

    I think the Harley Quinn VD special answers this very well.

    I don't have a way of watching that

    I don’t have HBO, but the trailer told me enough.

    (The trailer is even nsfw enough that I’ll just let people search YouTube for “Harley Quinn valentine’s special” themselves, instead of putting it here)

    Magic jelqing would be largely nsfw I think yeah.

  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    finished a session of ring fit and you know, the way that game has helped me get in touch with my body, maybe they could do a ring fit stretching routine but for jelqing

    think about it nintendo, i think you're leaving money on the table

  • ReynoldsReynolds Gone Fishin'Registered User regular
    Coming soon to Nintendo Switch: Cock Ring Fit Adventure!

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  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    finished a session of ring fit and you know, the way that game has helped me get in touch with my body, maybe they could do a ring fit stretching routine but for jelqing

    think about it nintendo, i think you're leaving money on the table

    il12pcv43gnu.png

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    Speaking of phallic objects, @Garlic Bread I just want you to know I have officially been to 3 Irish stickfighting classes and wound up doubling the class size by enjoying it so much I brought some pals with me

    The class is full of super kind people, it's a fun and practical martial art which is rare for weapon styles, it's wildly cheap at $45 a month for 4 2-hour lessons, and the lead trainer said he actually is pretty sure he's heard of the group you train with! So that's nice

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    finished a session of ring fit and you know, the way that game has helped me get in touch with my body, maybe they could do a ring fit stretching routine but for jelqing

    think about it nintendo, i think you're leaving money on the table

    akmsem83100n.jpeg

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    Speaking of phallic objects, "Garlic Bread" I just want you to know I have officially been to 3 Irish stickfighting classes and wound up doubling the class size by enjoying it so much I brought some pals with me

    The class is full of super kind people, it's a fun and practical martial art which is rare for weapon styles, it's wildly cheap at $45 a month for 4 2-hour lessons, and the lead trainer said he actually is pretty sure he's heard of the group you train with! So that's nice

    Nice to see Boiscín getting around to more areas, though I've had more exposure to Arnis/Eskrima myself, one of the few people I ever saw spar my weapons master in Ryukyu kenpo to a draw was a wiry little Filipino man who was a whirlwind of pain with two sticks in his hands.

    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
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