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University Woes
Wezoin
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Alright, so I start university this upcoming fall. The local university (UWO, for those that have heard of it) is fairly well known and considered a pretty big achievement to attend. So that's where I'm going.
At first I was thinking "Great, it's local, I can stay home and save some money" but now I'm realising that I can't even handle my highschool work load right now because of all the shit I have to do. Sitting here working on a novella for my writer's craft class I've been interrupted 3 times in the last hour to do chores.
Originally, moving into residence was an option when I was considering Guelph, however when I said that I'd like to go into residence at uwo they were extremely opposed to the idea and generally just refused, despite my reasoning that there'd be less distractions (ie, no room for a big screen tv, consoles, ect ect ect) and the majority of rooms at Huron u/c (part of uwo) are singles. They essentially described residence life almost exactly like how it's portrayed in the movies (nothing but parties) and they (having never been to university) don't really have anything better to go on.
Essentially, I need some form of idea to either convince them the $2000 on residence would be well spent, or a system to make them leave me alone so I can work. I suppose I should mention I have 2 brothers, both of who are fully able to do anything I do around the house, but never do anything.
At first I was thinking "Great, it's local, I can stay home and save some money" but now I'm realising that I can't even handle my highschool work load right now because of all the shit I have to do. Sitting here working on a novella for my writer's craft class I've been interrupted 3 times in the last hour to do chores.
Originally, moving into residence was an option when I was considering Guelph, however when I said that I'd like to go into residence at uwo they were extremely opposed to the idea and generally just refused, despite my reasoning that there'd be less distractions (ie, no room for a big screen tv, consoles, ect ect ect) and the majority of rooms at Huron u/c (part of uwo) are singles. They essentially described residence life almost exactly like how it's portrayed in the movies (nothing but parties) and they (having never been to university) don't really have anything better to go on.
Essentially, I need some form of idea to either convince them the $2000 on residence would be well spent, or a system to make them leave me alone so I can work. I suppose I should mention I have 2 brothers, both of who are fully able to do anything I do around the house, but never do anything.
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Option 1: Keep you at home, feel secure in having you still around and not having to let you go, have you continue to be ever-so-helpful around the house, pay a minimal amount to support and feed you.
Option 2: Let you go off to live somewhere else, feel insecure about not having you around, having to deal with letting you go, trying to get your lazy brothers to lend a hand, and pay big money for someone else to support and feed you.
Living on your own is the experience you make it. Is it parties all the time? If all you do is go to parties, then yes, that's what it is for you. I lived on campus for 3 of 4 years as an undergrad (even though I lived locally) and it was a good experience. I became more independent, did not party, came home and helped out on the weekends from time to time, worked on campus during the week, and it was all good. Of course I didn't have much of a social life either. It's all how you play it.
Of course, that's not much to convince your parents to go with option 2 instead of option 1. They'll say "it's all partying" and you'll say "nuh uh" and they'll say "uh huh" and you'll say "nuh uh" and you're at an impasse. Some things to note:
1) My college workload was easily half my high school workload. I was able to keep a 20 hour a week job and still do fine in college. This would have been impossible in high school. Could be the same for you.
2) Any chance of you paying the $2000 on your own? Or paying half and having your folks match it? Work part-time somewhere or get on workstudy? $2000 is not hard to earn in a year even at a minimum wage minimum responsibility job.
3) If you do stay at home, consider mitigating your responsibilities by paying your parents rent. Tell them you don't feel comfortable mooching off them anymore. Keep your shit nice and tidy but feel less obligated to participate in whole-family chores. After all, basic maintenance is the landlords' responsibility.
4) You could have a boring, big family "sit down and define responsibilities" chat. If you're into that sort of thing.
So make a list of things that bug you, or may interfere with your work and tell them this is what you need, if they want you to stay. I really don't know anything else to tell you. And Frylock had a good idea when he mentioned the rent arrangement plan.
Good Luck.
No, in all seriousness, I would discuss it with your student advisor. They may be against it at first, but be firm and make your case. They are there to help you, and you can likely persuade them...
And if I'm reading this wrong and it's your PARENTS that want you to stay home, then definitely discuss it with the school! Im assuming you're over 18, in which case, it's your decision to go, and not your parents. If your parents threaten to not help pay, then you can either pursue student loans, or you can have a good long discussion with your parents explaining that you will either be not around to do chores or you won't bother going to college, because there's no point in going if distractions are going to keep you from passing anyway.
And if you keep doing that they realistically cant expect you to do chores. A tad passive aggressive, but it will force your brothers to pick up the slack, and in perhaps a month or 3 they will be doing things themselves habitually and you can follow a more natural schedule.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
I'm really seriously thinking about sitting in the library whenever im doing hw/whatever. There's alot of nice places on campus to study and stuff, so maybe that'll work for me. Also, I'm actually allowed to do hw/study while I'm at work so I think it'll work. And since I get a free bus pass I won't have to deal with "well we're only gonna pick you up at X time"
So I think just distancing myself from them when I need to do school work is probably my best bet.
EDIT: nevermind all I said, your last post negated it
but maybe it's me.
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This I can agree with.
Yeah, I'm going to third this. You will meet many many people if you live in the dorms, and if you don't live in the dorms, you'll probably regret it.
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In my opinion, my parents just expect way too much of me. All these years they insist I do my best in school, which is perfectly fair, but going on about how someday if I do I MIGHT get into Western, then when I do (which was what I believed to be their ceiling of possible accomplishment for me for my high school career (despite their pushing for me to go to western starting in around gr 7)) they start insisting that I've gotta get scholarship (not a case of "oh it'd be nice" they're trying to work me harder right when I thought "Ok, I'm in now, I can slow down a bit"), at the same time they've been insisting I maintain a job through the entire time (which I have done) or they would essentially cut me off from doing anything, and pile every possible random little job that comes up on me so I can't get anything done.
I really feel like if I was in a dorm I wouldn't have to deal with the pressure they put on me.
you are 18 now right? move out. your parents are oppressive imho.
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
I cannot state this strongly enough: This is fucking truth! I only got to experience dorm life for 2 years for financial reasons, but those were the best 2 years of my life! Don't get me wrong, I'm not speaking in polars here (it didn't suck before or after dorm), but dorming was just a tremendous amount of fun and quite an experience.
Dorms are both overrated and underrated. I've known people who say it was a great experience and others who were happy to get out of them. There's something to be said for being forced to live with someone, having a shared shower/bathroom, always having something to do, a lot of people with different and similar interests in a close space.
Most people I know who loved dorms loved it because of the freedom, or more realistically the fact that they're not living with their parents. It works because in dorms it's hard to get lonely, since there's so many people around. If you're shy you'll probably get invited to do things unless you're an asshole, and if you're outgoing you'll be in heaven. The same situation applies though -- lots of people in dorms will spend time in libraries and student lounges in order to get actual work done, as while dorms aren't exactly "party all the time" it can be hard to concentrate if the guy next to you is playing, I don't know, counterstrike all day.
How much are your parents paying for college? And dude, student loans are not a bad thing. $2000 a year is nothing.
If you truly can't do it this year, plan to spend all of your time on campus -- either hanging out with people in dorms, or at other places on campus. If you can, apply now, apply for student loans if you need to, and move out. Tell your parents that you got into university, you're applying for scholarships, and that you've never been a partier so there's no reason to think you'll suddenly be a partier at school.
fixed
PokeCode: 3952 3495 1748
Back to what I started the post about distractions, well honestly library is your best place. I was not into the Starbucks and study groups(which ended up in chit chatting). Also get a planner, predict how your week is gonna be, honestly when I compared my friends who commuted from home to dorming. Not generalizing just my experience, people who commuted had more control of time management while dormers seem less stress about the hour. Also I worked at library (County of Los Angeles) which to me helped me more, because I get check out books without paying late fees and so on.
Things I recommend if you do approach commuter way,
1, Get a well organized planner and put all your classes syllabus dates, due dates and week before reminders.
2. Never planned at exact time give ample time for like distractions and small breaks
3. Find study buddies
4. Make sure your car is in good condition before you start school, nice check up. I had flat tire on finals, I just drove it like that arrive late but I got a C instead of F and passed the class with B+.
5. Stuff your car with water bottle, healthy durable foods, napkins/tissues, spare clothes, umbrella, school supplies and emergency car kit.
6. Find the times of computer labs, best time to go to library, how to access library online database on your home computer (they offer classes on this).
7. Talk to your family and really let them know the situation you are going through and you need some privacy and respect. I think you shouldn't say I am not doing chores now but work something out. Do you have your own room?
8. Internet is your friend when you need advice
9. ratemyprofessors.com, is good for me because some professors like to do off class stuff as commuter/working part time was a bisch to do, so I found classes that suit my life style.
Good luck,
RM
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