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We'll never be free of [Twitter]'s wretched curse

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Posts

  • JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    I've cut myself a number of times, but definitely the funniest one was when I was attempting to open the packaging for my chef knife. Big family dinner, excited to use it for the first time, jammed my thumb straight into the edge while prying it out of the plastic clamshell bullshit.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
    PreacherRhesus PositiveMegaMan001EinzelDarkPrimusTynnanKristmas Kthulhuminor incidentcrzyangoJragghenTonkkaKnight_FencingsaxCarpyPerrsunLucedesKane Red RobesponoBucketmanEtiowsaLabelSonelansarukunNeveronnever die
  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Of all the kitchen injuries I've gotten slicing myself isn't one of them. Burned the absolute dick out of my hands, never cut them though knock on wood obviously

    shouldn't have been holding a dick in the first place tbh

    People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones MP.

    CREAM OF THE CROP NEVER GONNA STOP
    PreacherEinzelminor incidentStraightziOrcaSonelan
  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    Funniest cut that ever happened was my roommate and best friend in college with an exacto knife

    He was trying to take the safety cap off, and cut so deep he lost feeling in his thumb for a couple of years

  • BurtletoyBurtletoy Registered User regular
    edited January 19
    I should probably get my knives sharpened. I don’t know that I’ve done a great job taking care of them beyond cleaning and sometimes remembering a honing steel.

    I bought a set that was a chef, paring, and nakiri knife from Made In last Christmas and I just use the first two for everything… I probably should give the nakiri more use but my brain feels like it can’t parse when I should use it. I guess vegetables?

    I'm not sure what Made In is exactly, but I believe you are not supposed to use a honing steel on japanese steel knives, if that's what your nakiri happens to be

    I don't really like using my nakiri either, it blocks too much of the view so I can't easily gauge how thick I am cutting my veggies.

    It does look like a nice knife tho

    Burtletoy on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    JayKaos wrote: »
    I've cut myself a number of times, but definitely the funniest one was when I was attempting to open the packaging for my chef knife. Big family dinner, excited to use it for the first time, jammed my thumb straight into the edge while prying it out of the plastic clamshell bullshit.

    Reminds me of when I was a kid trying to open a muppet plush and I gave myself a bloody nose by ripping the bag right into my nose. Like full on pulled the bag towards my nose and damn near broke it.

    Fozbear worth it

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
    never die
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Of all the kitchen injuries I've gotten slicing myself isn't one of them. Burned the absolute dick out of my hands, never cut them though knock on wood obviously

    shouldn't have been holding a dick in the first place tbh

    Look when you're starting at a really sexy onion, I mean just a fine piece of red onion all glistening at you, well you do what god intended.

    Cut it in half

    Core out a, let’s say large diameter, hole from the inner rings and then

    Magic PinkBlackDragon480
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Cry a lot

    MrMonroePreacherArdolCommander ZoomMagic PinkBrovid HasselsmofEinzelBurtletoyCrippl3TynnanKristmas KthulhuMulysaSemproniusTNTrooperLucedesOrcaadytumKane Red RobeBucketmanSonelansarukunNeveronnever dieHappy Little Machine
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I've sliced a chunk of flesh off my thumb with a mandoline, but I think that's just part of the ritual of owning one

    It demands a blood sacrifice

    I've also got a heavy duty Japanese knife for chopping big things, but the knife I use most often is a serrated one with a five inch blade that the previous owners of my house left behind when they moved

    The blade is really thin, so it works great for fine chopping

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    DisruptedCapitalistCaptain InertiaKnight_
  • LanzLanz ...Za?Registered User regular
    Last night I made Mapotofu and it was fucking awesome

    waNkm4k.jpg?1
    PerrsunLucedessarukun
  • LanzLanz ...Za?Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Funniest cut that ever happened was my roommate and best friend in college with an exacto knife

    He was trying to take the safety cap off, and cut so deep he lost feeling in his thumb for a couple of years

    1qzo2jmqyh7b.jpeg

    waNkm4k.jpg?1
    BahamutZEROCrippl3Kristmas KthulhuPerrsunBucketmansarukunnever dieHappy Little Machine
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Is that a thumb with a face

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Recently severed from its hand by an exact knife

    Rhesus Positive
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Jokerman wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Of all the kitchen injuries I've gotten slicing myself isn't one of them. Burned the absolute dick out of my hands, never cut them though knock on wood obviously

    shouldn't have been holding a dick in the first place tbh

    People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones MP.

    i can assure you i have a doctorate in When and How Long to Grab Dat D

    Jokerman
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    No, it is Philippe. He is five.
    (He is also a boy otter.)

    Magic Pinkdurandal4532Kristmas KthulhuPerrsunMaddocMunkus BeaverSirToastyBucketmanCantideNothingsarukunNeveronReynolds
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Cry a lot

    I don't cry when cutting onions

    The trick is to not get attached

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    Magic PinkPreacherEinzelDarkPrimusCaptain Inertia
  • LanzLanz ...Za?Registered User regular
    No, it is Philippe. He is five.
    (He is also a boy otter.)

    https://youtu.be/oTlzUpmp8sY

    waNkm4k.jpg?1
    Magic Pinkdurandal4532Crippl3Kristmas KthulhumiscellaneousinsanityMaddocMunkus BeaverBucketmanQuantum TigersarukunDee Kae
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    JayKaos wrote: »
    I've cut myself a number of times, but definitely the funniest one was when I was attempting to open the packaging for my chef knife. Big family dinner, excited to use it for the first time, jammed my thumb straight into the edge while prying it out of the plastic clamshell bullshit.

    I have cut myself more with clamshell packaging than any kind of actual blade

    PreacherMagic PinkOdinCaptain InertiaburboFencingsaxStraightziBloodsheedRanlinLucedesKane Red Robe
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Cry a lot

    I don't cry when cutting onions

    The trick is to not get attached

    also heat up your knife

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    JayKaos wrote: »
    I've cut myself a number of times, but definitely the funniest one was when I was attempting to open the packaging for my chef knife. Big family dinner, excited to use it for the first time, jammed my thumb straight into the edge while prying it out of the plastic clamshell bullshit.

    I have cut myself more with clamshell packaging than any kind of actual blade

    oh god yes. Like the old pa joke about people kept getting their things still rings true

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • pookapooka Registered User regular
    edited January 19
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Just take it slow on onions imo

    this, and pretty much anything else knife-related. Unless you're actually in a restaurant kitchen, there's no need to go fast with a knife. Go at the pace you're comfortable with; as you get more comfortable, you'll get faster.

    And practice the claw grip on the thing you're chopping.
    <-- Someone whose entire work history is food service & childcare (with one exception):

    Even in a restaurant, you really don't need much speed on knife skills as long as you can make it up elsewhere -- especially if you're just on prep that day. It helps, god yes, but hustle and grit will take you far.

    Signed, someone with poor knife skills paid
    more than once to work as a line cook.

    pooka on
    lfchwLd.jpg
    durandal4532DoodmannKristmas Kthulhuminor incident
  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    Pro-tip I learned. The reason you cry when cutting onions is because the vapors released attract to liquids, which your eyes have. If you have douse a paper towel or just a kitchen towel with water and set it on your cutting board (or whatever) near the onion then that can substantially lessen the amount an onion will affect you.

    A trick passed from my El Pasoan friend's grandmother that cooked a lot of onions in her life.

    Magic PinkCelloBahamutZEROZonugalLokarnTNTrooperFencingsaxCarpyMunkus BeaverDisruptedCapitalistadytumKane Red RobesponoBucketmanLabelJedocDyvim Tvarsarukunnever die
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Then fry up that onion paper for a tasty treat

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    Magic PinkCaptain InertiaOdinKristmas KthulhuZonugalNarbusadytumBucketmanFrylockHolmessarukun
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Pro-tip I learned. The reason you cry when cutting onions is because the vapors released attract to liquids, which your eyes have. If you have douse a paper towel or just a kitchen towel with water and set it on your cutting board (or whatever) near the onion then that can substantially lessen the amount an onion will affect you.

    A trick passed from my El Pasoan friend's grandmother that cooked a lot of onions in her life.

    also heat up your knife don't make me repeat myself

    Fencingsax
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    Pluck thine eyes from thy wretched skull and let onions trouble you nevermore

    Magic PinkCaptain InertiaKristmas KthulhuArdolBahamutZERODarkPrimusFencingsaxMaddocDisruptedCapitalistadytumBucketmanQuantum TigerEinzelFrylockHolmesFlying CouchDyvim TvarBlackDragon480
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    Or the hot knife thing

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    actually the eye thing sounds more effective

  • asofyeunasofyeun Registered User regular
    you could also just never use onions ever

    haha

    Kane Red RobeEmperorSethReynolds
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    i am legit scared of using onions because they're so poisonous for cats

  • Crippl3Crippl3 oh noRegistered User regular
    edited January 19
    Like 10 years ago we got my dad a set of Cutco knives for Christmas (yes, I know now, I didn't know that they were a scam/MLM/whatever then)
    He cut himself on one as he took it out of the cardboard sheath, like literally 0.5 seconds after taking it out of the box, it was incredible

    Crippl3 on
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    The adults in my childhood did me dirty wrt onions by never cooking them correctly

    Onions are so fucking good

    BurtletoyJokermanMagic Pinksarukun
  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    i am legit scared of using onions because they're so poisonous for cats

    My partner is vegetarian so we cook a lot of yellow/white/green onion and avocado and a shit ton of garlic, so it's a constant case where I'm cutting vegetables and then yell at the dog to not vacuum up right now please thank you

    Captain InertiaMagic PinkDisruptedCapitalist
  • TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    i am legit scared of using onions because they're so poisonous for cats

    I've had cats and also cooked with alliums for years and years and never had any problems. If you're concerned, make sure to clean up as you cook, toss your scraps promptly, and not let them up onto the counter until after you're done cleaning it.

    Rhesus PositiveAlexandierLucedesBucketmanEinzelSageinaRage
  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    Crippl3 wrote: »
    Like 10 years ago we got my dad a set of Cutco knives for Christmas (yes, I know now, I didn't know that they were a scam/MLM/whatever then)
    He cut himself on one as he took it out of the cardboard sheath, like literally 0.5 seconds after taking it out of the box, it was incredible

    I think the Cutco knives are actually a pretty good product. It's just a shitty place to "work".

    CREAM OF THE CROP NEVER GONNA STOP
    PreacherDarkPrimusBucketmanEinzelEmperorSethchromdom
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Keep those criminals off counters.

    Get off there.

    YOUR PAWS GO IN POOP SAND GET OFF THERE.

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  • BurtletoyBurtletoy Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    i am legit scared of using onions because they're so poisonous for cats

    My partner is vegetarian so we cook a lot of yellow/white/green onion and avocado and a shit ton of garlic, so it's a constant case where I'm cutting vegetables and then yell at the dog to not vacuum up right now please thank you

    Half shitzu half yorkie half vacuum cleaner

    BiXJpXy_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

    ArdolKalTorakasofyeunRhesus PositiveCommander ZoomdjmitchellaTNTrooperTicaldfjamPerrsunDisruptedCapitalistBucketmanFlying CouchsarukunHappy Little MachineBlackDragon480
  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    i am legit scared of using onions because they're so poisonous for cats

    My partner is vegetarian so we cook a lot of yellow/white/green onion and avocado and a shit ton of garlic, so it's a constant case where I'm cutting vegetables and then yell at the dog to not vacuum up right now please thank you

    Gotta make sure you put the wet vac into sleep mode

    She said, "You're pretty good with words, but words won't save your life."
    And they didn't.
    So he died.
  • MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    The adults in my childhood did me dirty wrt onions by never cooking them correctly

    Onions are so fucking good

    But they're great raw, too.

    BurtletoyBrovid HasselsmofGilgaron
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    rhylith wrote: »
    The responses by Brits in this thread are tellin me y’all need an emergency introduction of Cajun food into your lives.

    I've eaten Cajun food, in the US, it was really good

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Almost as good as baked beans on toast

This discussion has been closed.