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[Magic: The Gathering] Kellen's Excellent Adventure

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Today’s Ixalan Story
    Characters literally covered in oil; dinosaurs eating Phyrexians. Not a problem, it tastes like ranch dressing!

    Oil is now swinging in the other direction as being no biggie. On Ikoria it was fine as the monsters being Kaiju Borg is their whole deal. But here you can literally ingest it with no problems? And we have had multiple non-Mirrans fall to “just one drop” so the whole “Mirrodin is Phyrexian playdoh” excuse doesn’t hold up.

    Story was otherwise good, but the emotional beats are now going to be all over the place because when Mavren is described as covered in blood and oil my reaction was “Oh crap!” instead of the fist pump narrow victory feeling they were aiming for

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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    people keep trying to rules lawyer phyrexian oil like it's a card with cleanly explained rules text and not an abstract thing that is mostly described fearfully rather than literally

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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    well... it is a card with rules text

    but story elements routinely go beyond the cards

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    well... it is a card with rules text

    but story elements routinely go beyond the cards

    if it worked like the card did we wouldn't have a problem because all the phyrexians would be dead lmao

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

    just on a numbers game, "let's invade literally everywhere at once" is absurd. they can't even finish invading their own home. elesh norn is cleanly displaying that she's not a military leader - she's a cult leader. she fully drank her own koolaid. their greatest advantage is their ambush but the numbers still suck.

    there's a long term problem in that oil has been slapped all over the place and there's all manner of places that may have phyrexians left over to rebuild. but New Phyrexia itself cannot win this. it could never win this. the numbers don't make sense.

    liEt3nH.png
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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    Its possible Norn knows and she's up to something wrt Theros's gods.

    wq09t4opzrlc.jpg
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

    just on a numbers game, "let's invade literally everywhere at once" is absurd. they can't even finish invading their own home. elesh norn is cleanly displaying that she's not a military leader - she's a cult leader. she fully drank her own koolaid. their greatest advantage is their ambush but the numbers still suck.

    there's a long term problem in that oil has been slapped all over the place and there's all manner of places that may have phyrexians left over to rebuild. but New Phyrexia itself cannot win this. it could never win this. the numbers don't make sense.

    The numbers make sense if the oil is a threat because the oil converts the plane into new soldiers.

    But it doesn't seem like the oil is as threatening as it was made out to be in *checks notes* every previous iteration of it.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

    just on a numbers game, "let's invade literally everywhere at once" is absurd. they can't even finish invading their own home. elesh norn is cleanly displaying that she's not a military leader - she's a cult leader. she fully drank her own koolaid. their greatest advantage is their ambush but the numbers still suck.

    there's a long term problem in that oil has been slapped all over the place and there's all manner of places that may have phyrexians left over to rebuild. but New Phyrexia itself cannot win this. it could never win this. the numbers don't make sense.

    The numbers make sense if the oil is a threat because the oil converts the plane into new soldiers.

    But it doesn't seem like the oil is as threatening as it was made out to be in *checks notes* every previous iteration of it.

    the numbers still don't make sense even if the oil is powerful! you need a ridiculous K:D ratio even with each D becoming a soldier, when you're invading the entire multiverse simultaneously

    their biggest military asset is literally the destructive power of the tree itself

    (also pedantically: the oil is more threatening than its appearances on Kaldheim and Kamigawa previously, where it was a minor problem that only afflicted a few people who were dealt with by the protagonists)

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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    Do we know what Urabrask wanted Halo for yet?

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Do we know what Urabrask wanted Halo for yet?

    Making Elesh Norn cry.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    chekhov's halo has not yet gone off

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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    im guessing itll be something to do with keeping his faction safe from super saiyan elspeth

    wq09t4opzrlc.jpg
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2023
    people keep trying to rules lawyer phyrexian oil like it's a card with cleanly explained rules text and not an abstract thing that is mostly described fearfully rather than literally
    This is not “rules laywering” when it’s literally, not fearfully, what the narrative, worldbuilding, flavor text, and actual people who wrote the story describe to you. In a zombie movie, if characters are bit once and turn, people say one bite can turn you, and the director says “it’s scary because one bite can turn you,” then you are going to be confused when a character emerges from a battle covered in bites and the mood is triumphant instead of a pyrrhic victory or somber sacrifice. At least not without some kind of explanation.

    It literally impacts the mood the story is trying to set when you can’t tell if a character is victorious or in trouble because the narrative gimmick they invented doesn’t work consistently. This isn’t even a minor quibble: the character is covered with oil. The dinosaurs are eating monsters made of the oil. Even if we don’t take “one drop” literally, that’s a lot of oil suddenly doing nothing.

    Sterica on
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Also who said they were invading every plane simultaneously? And then tell me why I can’t take that same source literally when it comes to describing the oil.

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    VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    edited March 2023
    Its possible Norn knows and she's up to something wrt Theros's gods.

    She's focusing on Theros because of Elspeth's connection to the plane. That's also why she told Atraxa to raze Capenna to ashes.

    Vyolynce on
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    ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning LoserdomRegistered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    Also who said they were invading every plane simultaneously? And then tell me why I can’t take that same source literally when it comes to describing the oil.

    The story at the end of ONE did. IIRC the description of the Invasion Tree as it activates shows it as truly ridiculous in size, branches seeming to touch every plane simultaneously, with Phyrexian armies in formation ready in position at each portal.

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    Ivan HungerIvan Hunger Registered User regular
    Vyolynce wrote: »
    Its possible Norn knows and she's up to something wrt Theros's gods.

    She's focusing on Theros because of Elspeth's connection to the plane. That's also why she told Atraxa to raze Capenna to ashes.

    Yes. Elesh Norn's #1 priority has been bullying Elspeth ever since Ashiok made fun of her that one time.

    It really hurt her feelings.

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    ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning LoserdomRegistered User regular
    As ever, fascists and quasi-fascists' greatest weakness is ego.

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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    how likely is it that this all ends with a multiverse-wide power reset with neo-Elspeth as the new god

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    how likely is it that this all ends with a multiverse-wide power reset with neo-Elspeth as the new god

    zero

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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    how likely is it that this all ends with a multiverse-wide power reset with neo-Elspeth as the new god

    Wrenn is
    gonna end up doing a Heimdall thing

    wq09t4opzrlc.jpg
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    never dienever die Registered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    people keep trying to rules lawyer phyrexian oil like it's a card with cleanly explained rules text and not an abstract thing that is mostly described fearfully rather than literally
    This is not “rules laywering” when it’s literally, not fearfully, what the narrative, worldbuilding, flavor text, and actual people who wrote the story describe to you. In a zombie movie, if characters are bit once and turn, people say one bite can turn you, and the director says “it’s scary because one bite can turn you,” then you are going to be confused when a character emerges from a battle covered in bites and the mood is triumphant instead of a pyrrhic victory or somber sacrifice. At least not without some kind of explanation.

    It literally impacts the mood the story is trying to set when you can’t tell if a character is victorious or in trouble because the narrative gimmick they invented doesn’t work consistently. This isn’t even a minor quibble: the character is covered with oil. The dinosaurs are eating monsters made of the oil. Even if we don’t take “one drop” literally, that’s a lot of oil suddenly doing nothing.

    So far, it's only been an issue in the Ixalan story, so I'm hoping it was just an editor not catching things.

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    one thing that's not particularly clear to me is what the point is going to have been of teferi bringing back zhalfir to fight. i guess we're supposed to think that dominaria is going to lose without them? but i don't like, care about dominaria as much as everywhere else

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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    how likely is it that this all ends with a multiverse-wide power reset with neo-Elspeth as the new god

    Wrenn is
    gonna end up doing a Heimdall thing

    are we talking
    MCU Heimdall or GOW Heimdall?

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    one thing that's not particularly clear to me is what the point is going to have been of teferi bringing back zhalfir to fight. i guess we're supposed to think that dominaria is going to lose without them? but i don't like, care about dominaria as much as everywhere else
    He’s pivotal for the Universes Beyond: Back to the Future set teases in Chapter 7.

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    BadablackBadablack Registered User regular
    Hmm this new Shadows over Innistrad set looks pretty neat, but is there some reason it's not available for standard play?

    FC: 1435-5383-0883
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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    Badablack wrote: »
    Hmm this new Shadows over Innistrad set looks pretty neat, but is there some reason it's not available for standard play?

    Shadows over Innistrad is a set from 2016 - this is a remaster of that set in order to add a variety of cards from it to the Arena card pool for modes like Historic, Explorer, and Brawl

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    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    Badablack wrote: »
    Hmm this new Shadows over Innistrad set looks pretty neat, but is there some reason it's not available for standard play?

    Standard on Arena matches paper Standard, so any of the special remastered sets they release on Arena will be restricted to the Arena-only formats of Explorer and Historic, plus limited formats like draft and sealed.

    Eventually the point of these kinds of sets is to achieve (mostly) parity with the Pioneer card pool so that it can be played on Arena as well.

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    admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Badablack wrote: »
    Hmm this new Shadows over Innistrad set looks pretty neat, but is there some reason it's not available for standard play?

    It's a remix of existing sets built to inject cards for Explorer/Historic into Arena.

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    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    A friend convinced me to build a Premodern deck but because I'm a monster I want the whole thing to be white bordered and so here we are, learning a terrible new skill:

    q9fizmie4wca.jpg

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    admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    A friend convinced me to build a Premodern deck but because I'm a monster I want the whole thing to be white bordered and so here we are, learning a terrible new skill:

    god will not forgive you

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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    edited March 2023
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

    just on a numbers game, "let's invade literally everywhere at once" is absurd. they can't even finish invading their own home. elesh norn is cleanly displaying that she's not a military leader - she's a cult leader. she fully drank her own koolaid. their greatest advantage is their ambush but the numbers still suck.

    there's a long term problem in that oil has been slapped all over the place and there's all manner of places that may have phyrexians left over to rebuild. but New Phyrexia itself cannot win this. it could never win this. the numbers don't make sense.

    The numbers make sense if the oil is a threat because the oil converts the plane into new soldiers.

    But it doesn't seem like the oil is as threatening as it was made out to be in *checks notes* every previous iteration of it.

    the numbers still don't make sense even if the oil is powerful! you need a ridiculous K:D ratio even with each D becoming a soldier, when you're invading the entire multiverse simultaneously

    their biggest military asset is literally the destructive power of the tree itself

    (also pedantically: the oil is more threatening than its appearances on Kaldheim and Kamigawa previously, where it was a minor problem that only afflicted a few people who were dealt with by the protagonists)

    Was the multiverse ever stated to be finite?

    Infinity is fun - Phyrexia can't be a threat to an infinite multiverse as a whole, no matter how fast it spreads. (This would be cold comfort to anyone being invaded, but the odds of any random plane being invaded would be infinitesimal... so zero)

    Polaritie on
    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    man, remember when Cursed Scroll was like the most powerful card in Type II?

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    Ivan HungerIvan Hunger Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    I do like that maybe Phyrexia is biting off more than it can chew

    just on a numbers game, "let's invade literally everywhere at once" is absurd. they can't even finish invading their own home. elesh norn is cleanly displaying that she's not a military leader - she's a cult leader. she fully drank her own koolaid. their greatest advantage is their ambush but the numbers still suck.

    there's a long term problem in that oil has been slapped all over the place and there's all manner of places that may have phyrexians left over to rebuild. but New Phyrexia itself cannot win this. it could never win this. the numbers don't make sense.

    The numbers make sense if the oil is a threat because the oil converts the plane into new soldiers.

    But it doesn't seem like the oil is as threatening as it was made out to be in *checks notes* every previous iteration of it.

    the numbers still don't make sense even if the oil is powerful! you need a ridiculous K:D ratio even with each D becoming a soldier, when you're invading the entire multiverse simultaneously

    their biggest military asset is literally the destructive power of the tree itself

    (also pedantically: the oil is more threatening than its appearances on Kaldheim and Kamigawa previously, where it was a minor problem that only afflicted a few people who were dealt with by the protagonists)

    Was the multiverse ever stated to be finite?

    Infinity is fun - Phyrexia can't be a threat to an infinite multiverse as a whole, no matter how fast it spreads. (This would be cold comfort to anyone being invaded, but the odds of any random plane being invaded would be infinitesimal... so zero)

    MaRo was asked about this once. He stressed that he is not a member of the creative team and can't answer questions like this authoritatively, but his assumption is that the Multiverse is extremely vast, but finite.

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    TryCatcherTryCatcher Registered User regular
    Not to be that guy, but isn't Cursed Scroll supposed to be 3 mana and tap for the ability?

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    VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    edited March 2023
    TryCatcher wrote: »
    Not to be that guy, but isn't Cursed Scroll supposed to be 3 mana and tap for the ability?

    Yeah it looks like the Japanese ones were misprinted.

    Also the card has never been printed with a white border to my knowledge (and googling), although IIRC that alteration is fairly simple.

    Vyolynce on
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    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    Vyolynce wrote: »
    TryCatcher wrote: »
    Not to be that guy, but isn't Cursed Scroll supposed to be 3 mana and tap for the ability?

    Yeah it looks like the Japanese ones were misprinted.

    Also the card has never been printed with a white border to my knowledge (and googling), although IIRC that alteration is fairly simple.

    It really just requires some masking tape and a sand eraser (ink/typewriter eraser) and a small amount of practice. You’re just scrubbing off that top layer of black ink.

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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    edited March 2023
    Today's side stories were good. Especially the Innistrad one.
    The Phyrexians make the mistake of annoying Gisa and Geralf enough that they make a game of who can wreck more Phyrexians. It ends with undead horrors driving the Phyrexians back from Havengul. Not that there's many living people left there, but.

    I love that not even Phyrexia can beat a good old fashioned zombie horde.

    Polaritie on
    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
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    VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Today's side stories were good. Especially the Innistrad one.
    The Phyrexians make the mistake of annoying Gisa and Geralf enough that they make a game of who can wreck more Phyrexians. It ends with undead horrors driving the Phyrexians back from Havengul. Not that there's many living people left there, but.

    I love that not even Phyrexia can beat a good old fashioned zombie horde.
    It is highly amusing that this is the second extra-planar threat to Innistrad that was held off by the plane's near-limitless supply of zombies.

This discussion has been closed.