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And on the third day the stone was rolled away, but the tomb was empty

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Posts

  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    I don't mean to brag, but a few years ago I did get internet ordained as a minister solely because I saw someone do it on TV.

    Captain InertiaexpendableRingoBucketmanLucedesBlackDragon480CarpyAnon the FelonElvenshaevalhalla130
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    I nominate Maria Bamford

    AlexandierchromdomsarukunTonkkaAndy Joevalhalla130
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Hey remember when Preacher tried to jump the Grand Canyon on a jet powered motorbike, but instead plunged to his death? Wild times

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    edited August 2023
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    I don't mean to brag, but a few years ago I did get internet ordained as a minister solely because I saw someone do it on TV.

    can you internet marry me and whoever is unlucky enough to post directly under this post?

    Magic Pink on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I got my notary for a month once so I could officiate a friend’s wedding.

    I was very drunk during the proceedings so I’m not sure if it legally counts

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    edited August 2023
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    I don't mean to brag, but a few years ago I did get internet ordained as a minister solely because I saw someone do it on TV.

    can you internet marry me and whoever is unlucky enough to post directly under this post?
    I got my notary for a month once so I could officiate a friend’s wedding.

    I was very drunk during the proceedings so I’m not sure if it legally counts

    aw beans

    Magic Pink on
    Captain InertiaOdinsarukunRingoTonkkaLucedesElvenshaeSkeithRhesus PositiveMrMonroevalhalla130
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    edited August 2023
    What are you a cop?
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    I don't mean to brag, but a few years ago I did get internet ordained as a minister solely because I saw someone do it on TV.

    can you internet marry me and whoever is unlucky enough to post directly under this post?
    I got my notary for a month once so I could officiate a friend’s wedding.

    I was very drunk during the proceedings so I’m not sure if it legally counts

    aw beans

    Dearly Beloved (and other not-so-beloved)

    We are gathered here today in this magical light-blue internet space to celebrate the virtual union of these two online entities in weird, internet-only matrimony.

    Before we join this transforming car and hatted Pokemon into online bliss, does anyone have any objections to this bond? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

    Lindsay Lohan on
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    You’re getting 3 kids and you’ll like it!!

  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    You’re getting 3 kids and you’ll like it!!

    That's an odd number of kids to have.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
    DarkPrimusCaptain InertiaRaijin QuickfootmrpakuMagic Pinkshoeboxjeddy3cl1ps3sarukunRingoMvrckTonkkaLucedesTynnanBlackDragon480BloodsheedCarpyA Dabble Of TheloniusReynoldsThromiscellaneousinsanityElvenshaeSkeithHappy Little MachineRhesus Positivesponovalhalla130TamerBill
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    You’re getting 3 kids and you’ll like it!!

    uw5pl2zxpe14.gif

    DemonStacey
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    Okay, fine, I'll get you another kid as your wedding gift

    usnTyq4.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    Captain InertiaBucketmanLucedes
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    Okay, fine, I'll get you another kid as your wedding gift

    Even better

    Lindsay LohanReynoldsMrMonroe
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    someone say something

    i don't want three kids

    Okay, fine, I'll get you another kid as your wedding gift

    bqdq6dw2lq4f.gif

    Captain InertiasarukunDemonStaceyRingoTonkkaBucketmanElvenshaevalhalla130
  • expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    Yes
    I got my notary for a month once so I could officiate a friend’s wedding.

    I was very drunk during the proceedings so I’m not sure if it legally counts

    I officiated my sisters wedding as an ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    I also got ordained by the ULC juuuuust in case the State was gonna be a bunch of party poopers and not recognize the Church of the FSM but they were okay with it.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
    Raijin QuickfootMagic PinkRingoLucedesTynnanBlackDragon480CarpyElvenshaeHappy Little MachineRhesus Positivespono
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Welp, with no objections, it sounds like with the power vested to me by the $40 I spent a decade ago, I have to pronounce you internet spouse and spouse. Your new children will be issued on the blockchain in 7-10 business days. Please check your spam filter if you don't see them arrive.

    You have been gifted a honeymoon to exotic Branson, Missouri, with two complimentary balcony seats for Yakov Smirnoff and buy one, get one free mimosas at the hotel bar anytime from 2am - 4am on Tuesdays.

    May God or whatever have mercy on your soul. You may kiss each other or swap butt pics or whatever the kids on the internet do nowadays.

    Magic PinkCaptain InertiasarukunRingoBucketmanElvenshaesponovalhalla130
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular

    You have been gifted a honeymoon to exotic Branson, Missouri, with two complimentary balcony seats for Yakov Smirnoff and buy one, get one free mimosas at the hotel bar anytime from 2am - 4am on Tuesdays.
    this is the perfect date for reals

    Raijin Quickfoot
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Would it be too parasocial of me to quote someone's last post and comment on what an absolute legendary (potential) last post it was?

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    More parasocial than all of us participating in a virtual wedding and baby sprinkle (just a sprinkle Raijin, you’ve been here before) of Magic Pink and Raijin??

    Ringo
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Raijin doesn’t sprinkle. Raijin coats.

    Lindsay LohanCaptain InertiaElvenshae
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Last post in the "most recent" way or last post in the "Final Destination" and you know they'll never be heard from again sort of way?

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Raijin doesn’t sprinkle. Raijin coats.

    i want a divorce

  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    No
    Would it be too parasocial of me to quote someone's last post and comment on what an absolute legendary (potential) last post it was?

    Was it winky? Because I had that tattooed on my back like Pam from archer

    Not my Tempo
  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    No
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    So it's treason is it?

    Not my Tempo
    Preacher
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    What are you a cop?
    I am internet ordained and have performed a couple of legal marriages.

    BLM - ACAB
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Raijin doesn’t sprinkle. Raijin coats.

    i want a divorce

    No!

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    Jokerman wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    So it's treason is it?

    As if there's a better version of myself. Like really you guys are lucky I'm as good as I am

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
    Magic PinkLucedes
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    So it's treason is it?

    As if there's a better version of myself. Like really you guys are lucky I'm as good as I am

    Maybe a version who doesn’t just DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY!!!

    Magic Pink
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2023
    What are you a cop?
    Preacher wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    So it's treason is it?

    As if there's a better version of myself. Like really you guys are lucky I'm as good as I am

    Maybe a version who doesn’t just DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY!!!

    It was two weeks, and please if you knew your preacher cannon I have disappeared for months on end without saying anything.

    It was just Joker being more parasocial then normal that caused an issue this time. The DENNIS system failed me.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    preacher cannon

    fuck yes

    Ringovalhalla130
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    preacher cannon

    fuck yes

    I heard Preacher sprinkles

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    preacher cannon

    fuck yes

    I heard Preacher sprinkles

    4adlnr37kcik.gif


    Crippl3RingoLucedes
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    I am internet ordained and have performed a couple of legal marriages.

    I will be performing my first marriage at the tail end of next month, but I've been ordained since May. Any tips you've learned that are worth sharing?

  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    I am internet ordained and have performed a couple of legal marriages.

    I will be performing my first marriage at the tail end of next month, but I've been ordained since May. Any tips you've learned that are worth sharing?

    I always like to send individual messages to each participant asking about their core memories with their partner, what drew them to that person, and what they're most looking forward to - big and small.

    Also fun to ask what cheeky little thing they might want to have worked into the vows (i.e. - you solemnly wear to order your own fries and not steal theirs, and things like that.) If you've been asked to perform odds are good that you've got some kinda close relationship with the couple and you can speak about your own happiness for them as well, knowing them before and then after. But just keep in mind that it isn't a best-man/maid of honor speech.

    I've performed two so far. One on a beach with a horse in the groom's party and the other in a brewery in Texas where both women getting married and I did a shot right after they walked down aisle towards me and before I started saying anything. Even with all those shenanigans you're still basically playing to a very receptive audience. There will be tears at the most simple yet heartfelt of thoughts and phrases, so don't feel that you have to gild the lily too much if that isn't your usual self.

    ElvenshaeRhesus Positive
  • LucedesLucedes might be real Registered User regular
    No
    Grislo wrote: »
    Jragghen wrote: »
    Who's preacher?

    That's a fucking rookie question.

    Try any of the other wh-ones, they'll get you further.

    "Where's Preacher" could have sorted this whole thing.

    "Who's Preacher" is amateur hour.

    point of order, amateurhour is amateurhour

    A Kobold's KoboldPreacherBlackDragon480RingoPeewiReynoldsElvenshaevalhalla130
  • expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    Yes
    Raijin doesn’t sprinkle. Raijin coats.

    Like the walls too or just the floor?
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    I am internet ordained and have performed a couple of legal marriages.

    I will be performing my first marriage at the tail end of next month, but I've been ordained since May. Any tips you've learned that are worth sharing?

    You can also take a bunch of quotes about The Force from Star Wars and swap out "The Force" for "Love" and have people feel like you've said something incredibly poignant without just quoting Corinthians again. My sister wanted a short ceremony and they wrote their own vows so my remarks were very short.
    The Force is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.

    or
    Yoda wrote:
    For [your] ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.

    for example.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
    CarpyRingoMcFodderMagic PinkElvenshae
  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    No
    Preacher wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    I enter a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on our current Preacher

    It’s time for a special election to find a new and much better Preacher

    So it's treason is it?

    As if there's a better version of myself. Like really you guys are lucky I'm as good as I am

    Maybe a version who doesn’t just DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY!!!

    It was two weeks, and please if you knew your preacher cannon I have disappeared for months on end without saying anything.

    It was just Joker being more parasocial then normal that caused an issue this time. The DENNIS system failed me.

    Dude you were the Godfather to my first born child. YOU WERE THERE AT THE CHRISTENING I'M LOOKING AT THE PICUTRE ON MY MANTLE!

    Not my Tempo
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    you don't have any kids.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • JokermanJokerman Everything EverywhereRegistered User regular
    No
    Preacher wrote: »
    you don't have any kids.

    Yeah some godfather you turned out to be.

    Not my Tempo
    RingoMagic PinkSkeith
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    What are you a cop?
    My friends got rickrolled by their officiants. It was pretty slick too, most people didn't even catch it until the "Do you promise to never give each other up, never to run around?"

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
    Gim3cl1ps3Andy JoechromdomMagic PinkexpendableElvenshaeSkeithfurlionvalhalla130
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