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Penny Arcade - Comic - Le Petit Mortgage
Dog
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Penny Arcade - Comic - Le Petit Mortgage
Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.
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The people making the call don't give a shit, and are desperate for either something to break the monotony or a reason to hang up and move to the next number that might actually agree to refinancing or whatever
Weak. How about some aggressive yelling in the background between 2 adults who are clearly fighting, with the sound of objects falling to the ground and a young child crying in distress? We're aiming for maximum discomfort and psychological scarring here.
"Listen, buddy, I wanna hear about your mortgage offer, but I need both hands to drive fast, right now, so I'm going to put you on speaker...
Be sure to answer some questions by saying on advice of your lawyer you will be invoking your fifth amendment right not to answer.
Also be sure to ask them if they're the cops. They have to tell you.
"Hewwo!"
"Yes hello!"
"What ARE you?"
"Yes, little boy give the phone back to daddy please."
"KEEP AWAY FROM DADDY HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"No do not keep away from daddy please give the phone back to daddy."
"Lookie my blankie!"
"Little boy this is a phone I can't see, just please give the phone back to daddy."
*Holds the blanket closer to the phone* "See now?"
It got much less fun when they started to actually be able to engage with a conversation and understand how a phone works, by four they usually just handed it back when they realize it's not their grandpa.
"You won't make a sell even if you somehow convince me you're product is good" somehow progressively reduce the number of calls.
When I was a solar heating telemarketer, "I'm not interested" meant "keep going with the pitch, if they hang up keep them in the system to call back after we've called everybody else, they might change their mind"
"I'm renting" meant "remove from the system, we'll never make a sale"
Didn't work for all the furnace cleaners who would call at least once a week, at least until we got rid of that phone line.
There were just too many for niceties. This is why we got rid of our landline and just use mobiles now.
"Would you like to buy a new furnace?" No, just renting.
"Do you need a new roof?" No, just renting.
"Are you saving for your kid's college fund?" No, just renting.
I kept the home phone because mobiles can be finicky about getting reception in the house, can run be out of battery, call a specific person instead of just anyone who is home, etc.