SE++ PICK'EMS WEEK 12: BIDEN'S NEW ECONOMIC PLAN IS TO GET EVERYONE IN AMERICA FIRED FROM TEXAS A&MA note: next week is Rivalry Week, and as is tradition we invite you all to get in on the writing action. If you would like to write something for your team's rivalry game, feel free to DM me your blurb and it will get posted. Also, because we have the dumbest of the rivalry games on Thursday in the Egg Bowl, pick'ems will be earlier next week.Straight Up
#10 Louisville @ Miami (-0.5) - We're just going to keep pretending that Louisville has a shot at the playoffs, huh? As-is, they need to win this game to clinch a spot in the ACC Championship; a loss opens up the potential for at least one of North Carolina/NC State/Virginia Tech to tie them and force a tiebreaker, and at this point I'm not going to bother looking up what the ACC settled on for this scenario. None of this matters though because Miami will find a way to lose this.
#22 Utah @ #17 Arizona (-1) - It's a very Pac-12 heavy week, but with good reason. Case-in-point, Arizona can still back its way into the conference championship game, which is a huge accomplishment for Jedd Fisch and the rebuild he's done at Arizona. To do so, however, they need to get past the long-time conference gatekeeper Utah in order to get there, and despite all their injuries this year, you can never count out the Utes.
SICKOS GAME OF THE WEEK: Cal Berkeley (-6.5) @ Stanford - THE BIG GAME! Somehow, Justin Wilcox is going to keep his job despite Cal Berkeley continuing to play like they are, but then again it makes sense considering Cal Berkeley is trying to get everyone to refer to them in this specific matter. Stanford is bad, but we knew that going into the season. Turns out David Shaw was doing an amazing job stealing paychecks those last few years. I wonder what he's doing now...oh, of course he's hanging out at UCLA practices and his son is on the team. Birds of a feather and all that.
#21 Kansas State (-7.5) @ #25 Kansas - THE SUNSHINE SHOWDOWN! Frankly, I have no idea how you're supposed to judge this game, if I'm being honest. Kansas State is probably the better team, but Kansas has that certain magical quality that can get them wins they absolutely do not deserve. I think Kansas State needs this win to keep pace to potentially make the Big 12 Championship Game, but there are currently four teams tied at 5-2 in the conference and not a lot of remaining crossover between them.
Against the Spread
Appalachian State @ James Madison (-8.5) - The NCAA recently stated it would not be adjusting their rules to grant immediate bowl eligibility to JMU, so instead we're going to get a three-hour infomercial on ESPN this weekend talking about all the different ways the NCAA is screwing up. In that regard, App State is a perfect opponent here, because they're good enough to potentially give a good game, but enough of a name that JMU is going to want to absolutely destroy them to prove a point.
Hawaii @ Wyoming (-12.5) - THE BATTLE FOR THE PANIOLO TROPHY! Paniolo is the Hawaiian word for cowboy, and I think it is very fun that these two schools have a rivalry for some reason. If the Big 10 is going to have 500 trophy games, we can have this one as a treat.
UCLA @ Southern California (-6.5) - Folks, normally when I get to this game I give you some level of diatribe about how Southern Cal is a morally bankrupt school that should be swallowed by the earth, but instead I get to talk about how this could mercifully be the end of the Chip Kelly era at UCLA. Reports have started to surface that the school plans to let Kelly go either after this game or the season finale, though predictably Kelly's allies in the media have begun to come out against a potential move. UCLA's biggest whale of a donor, Casey Wasserman, even made public comments that he felt the move would be premature, but Wasserman has skin in the game as the guy who helped orchestrate the move, but I've heard enough to know there is legitimate smoke here, and that a full accounting of the program would cause every AD in the country looking to make a change. The fact is Kelly is currently at .500 in his UCLA career, has subpar recruiting, is looking at a potential talent exodus because a ton of players are dissatisfied with the program, and has 0 NIL support because Kelly sucks at donor engagement (it's not that UCLA lacks money - NIL for basketball is doing really well because Mick Cronin understands how to play the game). This charade should have been over years ago, but at least it looks like it is finally ending. I'm going to be at this game because Kelly has stolen six years of my life and I need to see the dead body before I can move on (and also a friend gave me a ticket).
All of which to say: fuck USC, fuck that stupid fucking horse, and fuck their fans, half of whom are too dumb to have even made it into Beach Arizona State in the first place, and the other half who should be questioned about their whereabouts on January 6. Rick Caruso, the ineffable shitstain of a human, basically runs the board for this school, so again fuck the entire lot of them.
Baylor @ Texas Christian (-12.5) - THE REVIVALRY! It's a rather low-key Revivalry year with both teams not being very good. TCU took an obvious step back after losing everyone from a team that made it to the National Championship Game despite having some ridiculous one-score game luck, while Baylor has been hit with injuries and a clear misunderstanding of what you are supposed to do on offense.
#7 Texas (-7.5) @ Iowa State - Hey, remember when I said there were a bunch of teams vying for the Big 12 Championship game with two losses at the moment? That includes Iowa State, which has the hardest road left (this game then Kansas State in Farmageddon next week) but could drag Texas down into the mud with everyone else here, and wouldn't that be fitting for the final Big 12 season with Texas and Oklahoma?
GAME OF THE CENTURY OF THE WEEK (Straight Up)
#5 Washington @ #11 Oregon State (-2.5) - It says a lot about how Washington has looked since the Oregon game that Oregon State is favored here. Simply put: they have not looked well. Michael Penix is clearly dealing with some sort of injury, and the defense has been hot garbage the entire time. They've still won out, but it has not looked pretty. Oregon State, meanwhile, has rounded into form late, and while they have the toughest final two games in the country (Civil War is next week) they are likely the most balanced team in the conference, so they absolutely have a shot to get two wins and make the conference title game.
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On the one hand they fucking love their team and travel well and are a lot of fun in a good game
On the other hand my god will they just not shut the fuck up if they win
Incidentally how many of you knew WSU-Colorado was a Friday Night game
Because i sure as hell didn’t
At least we broke that losing streak finally
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I actually knew!
Vicious
Steam
All huffy and serious about the stupidest most inconsequential shit ever
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
Fuck Tony Petitti's bullshit about player safety.
They are going to average about 24 yards a pass vs OSU now huh
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
*Unless you have Megatron.
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
I dunno what the rule is for football but if you have to assume intentionality I think it's intentional grounding, if you can allow for "oh shit he underthrew the receiver" then yeah it wasn't at all
as usual
Incorrectly! I was shocked they got that right.
It's a judgment call about what is "in the vicinity" and I'd say that was reasonably in the vicinity.
Well apparently I don’t know how to do this, but joe Milton to joe Milton for seven yards by way of the offensive lineman’s helmet
change it from x dot com to twitter dot com, that fixes it
Jesus