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Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is irredeemably bad, I cannot imagine liking it purely for the novelty outside of literally in elementary/middle school
The cartoon is terrible because it brought back grandma when the entire point of the song is that grandma got hit and run'd by Santa and nobody in the family thinks much of her death, to the point her husband just watches TV and plays cards while the rest of the family wonders whether they should open grandma's gifts or return them. It's an absurd and morbid dark humor set to a jaunty tune explicitly for the dissonance.
+4
Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
grandma got run over by a reindeer so that the conservatives couldn't kill her with coronavirus
She got run over by a reindeer, huh
Was she vaxxed?
No. That's why the reindeer hit squad ran her over.
0
facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
Christmas music largely sucks because they're all so simple and repetitive melodically, etc. The whole point is to make something easy to learn quickly, that almost anyone of any skill level can sing along to reasonably well, or even easily pick up on almost any instrument.
All I Want For Christmas Is You and Last Christmas are written as pop songs that happen to be about Christmas, so they have a lot more melody. The former also has the advantage of being sung by one of the best singers of all time.
I can take or leave last Christmas, it's still fairly bland, but AIWFCIY is a banger and I hate how it gets slandered.
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
At some point I tracked down and added the Christmas Album for 1996’s Carranger, Merry Xmas! From CARRANGER to my Christmas playlist to go along with a collection of others including the Muppet Christmas Carol album, the aforementioned two versions of Last Christmas, and others:
Twitter bankruptcy seems increasingly possible given ongoing advertiser exodus from the platform. In that case the creditors would likely take over and find a new ownership arrangement that keeps the platform running:
It is my personal head cannon that the dead grandma in this commercial would still be alive if she had just gotten the shots instead of “doing her own research”
Maybe too heavy for this thread but I am having a fucking shithouse of a time trying to get the fucking Covid shot now that it’s not being paid for by the government anymore and discovering the wonders of the COVID Vax Affordability Fuckbarrel:
Insurance provider: “So we’re not going to pay for this if you’re getting it at a pharmacy. From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.”
State Health Department: “There are literally no non-pharmacy options to get the shot.”
Pharmacies: “Well I mean technically the CDC bridge program, which we are partnered with, would cover your costs, but since there is a technical hypothetical scenario in which your insurance would cover this, even though there is no actual practical way for you to utilize that coverage, you may not participate under the CDC bridge program. Please pay us $200 for one single injection”
This has, as far as I can tell, been a problem for months, despite hte administration claiming things are fixed (they are defintiely not fixed):
Dunno why this one in particular got to me because I know the American healthcare system is ultrahell, but holy shit TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for a vax shot
Dunno why this one in particular got to me because I know the American healthcare system is ultrahell, but holy shit TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for a vax shot
The most fun part of that article Lanz posted,
She was willing to pay the $200 out of pocket at a Washington D.C.-area Walgreens pharmacy that wasn't part of her insurer's network. When she attempted to do so, the Walgreens employee contacted her insurer, and a representative for the insurance provider informed Cox that she would need prior authorization to get vaccinated out of network. The insurer even requested that Cox track down her doctor's fax number as part of the process.
Can't have you going around your insurer and just paying out of pocket without their say so
Marty: The future, it's where you're going? Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
Maybe too heavy for this thread but I am having a fucking shithouse of a time trying to get the fucking Covid shot now that it’s not being paid for by the government anymore and discovering the wonders of the COVID Vax Affordability Fuckbarrel:
Insurance provider: “So we’re not going to pay for this if you’re getting it at a pharmacy”
State Health Department: “There are literally no non-pharmacy options to get the shot. From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.”
Pharmacies: “Well I mean technically the CDC bridge program, which we are partnered with, would cover your costs, but since there is a technical hypothetical scenario in which your insurance would cover this, even though there is no actual practical way for you to utilize that coverage, you may not participate under the CDC bridge program. Please pay us $200 for one single injection”
This has, as far as I can tell, been a problem for months, despite hte administration claiming things are fixed (they are defintiely not fixed):
Dunno why this one in particular got to me because I know the American healthcare system is ultrahell, but holy shit TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for a vax shot
If it helps, and by helps I mean makes it even worse, I take a shot every 8 weeks for my psoriasis that retails $25,000! Hell world! Also the reason I will cling to Medicaid for dear life, and roll my eyes every time my sister suggests I get "a part time job or something" - show me where I can find a job that'll pay enough to cover premiums, copays, etc and still have any money left plus is flexible enough to work with a chronic illness. Hell, I'm honestly a little concerned about applying for disability, because if I get approved then in 5 years I'll get kicked over to Medicare as primary insurance and everything will stop being free. Helllllll world
Maybe too heavy for this thread but I am having a fucking shithouse of a time trying to get the fucking Covid shot now that it’s not being paid for by the government anymore and discovering the wonders of the COVID Vax Affordability Fuckbarrel:
Insurance provider: “So we’re not going to pay for this if you’re getting it at a pharmacy”
State Health Department: “There are literally no non-pharmacy options to get the shot. From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.”
Pharmacies: “Well I mean technically the CDC bridge program, which we are partnered with, would cover your costs, but since there is a technical hypothetical scenario in which your insurance would cover this, even though there is no actual practical way for you to utilize that coverage, you may not participate under the CDC bridge program. Please pay us $200 for one single injection”
This has, as far as I can tell, been a problem for months, despite hte administration claiming things are fixed (they are defintiely not fixed):
Also just realized I had the “ From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.” under the wrong one, that one’s my shitty insurance, not the state
Christmas music largely sucks because they're all so simple and repetitive melodically, etc. The whole point is to make something easy to learn quickly, that almost anyone of any skill level can sing along to reasonably well, or even easily pick up on almost any instrument.
All I Want For Christmas Is You and Last Christmas are written as pop songs that happen to be about Christmas, so they have a lot more melody. The former also has the advantage of being sung by one of the best singers of all time.
I can take or leave last Christmas, it's still fairly bland, but AIWFCIY is a banger and I hate how it gets slandered.
All I Want For Christmas Is You has energy, something desperately needed after decades of tedious Christmas carols that have existed in that period.
There's a handful of good songs there, but I'm much more on board with AIWFCIY and the Clarkson song Zonugal mentioned.
I will admit that there is a goodly portion of the songs in Home Alone that are welded to the Christmas receptors in my brain, but that doesn't mean Darlene Love doesn't have a Christmas banger.
At some point I tracked down and added the Christmas Album for 1996’s Carranger, Merry Xmas! From CARRANGER to my Christmas playlist to go along with a collection of others including the Muppet Christmas Carol album, the aforementioned two versions of Last Christmas, and others:
Boy howdy, did Terry Pratchett ever ruin that song for me.
The old man in the hovel looked uncertainly at the feast spread in front of him. He sat on his stool as curled up on himself as a spider in a flame.
"I'd got a mess of beans cooking," he mumbled, looking at his visitors through filmy eyes.
"Good heavens, you can't eat beans at Hogswatch," said the king, smiling hugely. "That's terribly unlucky, eating beans at Hogswatch. My word, yes!"
"Di'nt know that," the old man said, looking down desperately at his lap.
"We've brought you this magnificent spread. Don't you think so?"
"I bet you're incredibly grateful for it, too," said the page, sharply.
"Yes, well, o' course, it's very kind of you gennelmen," said the old man, in a voice the size of a mouse. He blinked, uncertain of what to do next.
"The turkey's hardly been touched, still plenty of meat on it," said the king. "And do have some of this cracking good widgeon stuffed with swan's liver."
"--only I'm partial to a bowl of beans and I've never been beholden to no one nor nobody," the old man said, sill staring at his lap.
"Good heavens, man, you don't need to worry about that," said the king heartily. "It's Hogswatch! I was only just now looking out of the window and I saw you plodding through the snow and I said to young Jermain here, I said 'Who's that chappie?' and he said, 'Oh, he's some peasant fellow who lives up by the forest,' and I said, 'Well, I couldn't eat another thing and it's Hogswatch, after all,' and so we just bundled everything up and here we are!"
"And I expect you're pathetically thankful," said the page. "I expect we've brought a ray of light into your dark tunnel of a life, hmm?"
"--yes, well, o' course, only I'd been savin' 'em for weeks, see, and there's some bakin' potatoes under the fire, I found 'em in the cellar 'n' the mice'd hardly touched 'em." The old man never raised his eyes from knee level. "'n' our dad brought me up never to ask for--"
"Listen," said the king, raising his voice a little, "I've walked miles tonight and I bet you've never seen food like this in your whole life, eh?"
Tears of humiliated embarrassment were rolling down the old man's face.
"--well, I'm sure it's very kind of you fine gennelemen but I ain't sure I knows how to eat swans and such like, but if you want a bit o' my beans you only got to say--"
"Let me make myself absolutely clear," said the king sharply. "This is some genuine Hogswatch charity, d'you understand? And we're going to sit here and watch the smile on your grubby but honest face, is that understood?"
"And what do you say to the good king?" the page prompted.
The peasant hung his head.
"'nk you."
"Right, said the king, sitting back. "Now, pick up your fork--"
The door burst open. An indistinct figure strode into the room, snow swirling around it in a cloud.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
The page started to stand up, drawing his sword. He never worked out how the other figure could have got behind him, but there it was, pressing him gently down again.
"Hello, son, my name is Albert," said a voice by his ear. "Why don't you put that sword back very slowly? people might get hurt."
A finger prodded the king, who had been too shocked to move.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SIRE?
The king tried to focus on the figure. There was an impression of red and white, but black, too.
To Albert's secret amazement, the man managed to get to his feet and draw himself up as regally as he could.
"What it going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who--"
NO. IT'S NOT.
"What? How dare you--"
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.
"Oh, no, he's going too far again--" muttered Albert under his breath. He pushed the page down again. "No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph."
"Whatever it is, it's more than he's got!" snapped the king. "And all we've had from him is ingratitude--"
YES, THAT DOES SPOIL IT, DOESN'T IT? Death leaned forward. GO AWAY.
To the king's own surprise his body took over and marched him out the door.
Albert patted the page on the shoulder. "And you can run along, too," he said.
"--I didn't mean to go upsetting anyone, it's just that I never asked no one for nothing--" mumbled the old man, in a small humble world of his own, his hands tangling themselves together out of nervousness.
"Best if you leave this one to me, master, if you don't mind," said Albert. "I'll be back in just a tick." Loose ends, he thought, that's my job. Tying up loose ends. The master never thinks things through.
He caught up with the king outside.
"Ah, there you are, your sire," he said. "Just before you go, won't keep you a minute, just a minor point--" Albert leaned close to the stunned monarch. "If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?" He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Happy Hogswatch."
Then he hurried back into the hovel.
The feast had vanished. The old man was looking blearily at the bare table.
HALF-EATEN LEAVINGS, said Death. WE COULD CERTAINLY DO BETTER THAN THAT. He reached into the sack.
Albert grabbed his arm before he could withdraw his hand.
"Mind taking a bit of advice, master? I was brung up in a place like this."
DOES IT BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES?
"A box of matches to me hand, more like. Listen..."
The old man was only dimly aware of some whispering. He sat hunched up, staring at nothing.
WELL, IF YOU ARE SURE...
"Been there, done that, chewed the bones," said Albert. "Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get."
VERY WELL.
Death reached into the sack again.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. Ho. Ho. Ho.
There was a string of sausages. There was a side of bacon. And a small tub of salt pork. And a mass of chitterlings wrapped up in grease paper. There was a black pudding. There were several other tubs of disgusting yet savory pork-adjacent items highly prized in any pig-based economy. And, laid on the table with a soft thump, there was--
"A pig's head," breathed the old man. "A whole one! Ain't had brawn in years! And a basin of pig knuckles! and a bowl of pork dripping!"
I work at Walmart and I could just get it from our pharmacy on my break without an appointment ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. They didn't say anything about the insurance I assume it was fine?
Happiness is within reach!
0
MaddocI'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?Registered Userregular
I don't recall if I gave CVS my insurance info, but I guess maybe they had it from when I got my booster shot last year
I work at Walmart and I could just get it from our pharmacy on my break without an appointment ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. They didn't say anything about the insurance I assume it was fine?
given that it's walmart I halfway expect you to find the price deducted from your next paycheck or something
+1
miscellaneousinsanitygrass grows, birds fly, sun shines,and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered Userregular
Christmas music largely sucks because they're all so simple and repetitive melodically, etc. The whole point is to make something easy to learn quickly, that almost anyone of any skill level can sing along to reasonably well, or even easily pick up on almost any instrument.
All I Want For Christmas Is You and Last Christmas are written as pop songs that happen to be about Christmas, so they have a lot more melody. The former also has the advantage of being sung by one of the best singers of all time.
I can take or leave last Christmas, it's still fairly bland, but AIWFCIY is a banger and I hate how it gets slandered.
All I Want For Christmas Is You has energy, something desperately needed after decades of tedious Christmas carols that have existed in that period.
There's a handful of good songs there, but I'm much more on board with AIWFCIY and the Clarkson song Zonugal mentioned.
I will admit that there is a goodly portion of the songs in Home Alone that are welded to the Christmas receptors in my brain, but that doesn't mean Darlene Love doesn't have a Christmas banger.
Christmas music largely sucks because they're all so simple and repetitive melodically, etc. The whole point is to make something easy to learn quickly, that almost anyone of any skill level can sing along to reasonably well, or even easily pick up on almost any instrument.
All I Want For Christmas Is You and Last Christmas are written as pop songs that happen to be about Christmas, so they have a lot more melody. The former also has the advantage of being sung by one of the best singers of all time.
I can take or leave last Christmas, it's still fairly bland, but AIWFCIY is a banger and I hate how it gets slandered.
All I Want For Christmas Is You has energy, something desperately needed after decades of tedious Christmas carols that have existed in that period.
There's a handful of good songs there, but I'm much more on board with AIWFCIY and the Clarkson song Zonugal mentioned.
I will admit that there is a goodly portion of the songs in Home Alone that are welded to the Christmas receptors in my brain, but that doesn't mean Darlene Love doesn't have a Christmas banger.
Dunno why this one in particular got to me because I know the American healthcare system is ultrahell, but holy shit TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for a vax shot
If it helps, and by helps I mean makes it even worse, I take a shot every 8 weeks for my psoriasis that retails $25,000! Hell world! Also the reason I will cling to Medicaid for dear life, and roll my eyes every time my sister suggests I get "a part time job or something" - show me where I can find a job that'll pay enough to cover premiums, copays, etc and still have any money left plus is flexible enough to work with a chronic illness. Hell, I'm honestly a little concerned about applying for disability, because if I get approved then in 5 years I'll get kicked over to Medicare as primary insurance and everything will stop being free. Helllllll world
I know it varies a lot depending on state, but my mother's been disabled her whole life and recently aged into being required to use medicare, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still qualify for medicaid from disability. Medicare is expected to be utilized first (probably because they have the strongest bargaining for lower prices) but medicaid will pay all the fees and copays and whatnot, and anything not covered by medicare will then be handled by medicaid.
Dunno why this one in particular got to me because I know the American healthcare system is ultrahell, but holy shit TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for a vax shot
If it helps, and by helps I mean makes it even worse, I take a shot every 8 weeks for my psoriasis that retails $25,000! Hell world! Also the reason I will cling to Medicaid for dear life, and roll my eyes every time my sister suggests I get "a part time job or something" - show me where I can find a job that'll pay enough to cover premiums, copays, etc and still have any money left plus is flexible enough to work with a chronic illness. Hell, I'm honestly a little concerned about applying for disability, because if I get approved then in 5 years I'll get kicked over to Medicare as primary insurance and everything will stop being free. Helllllll world
I know it varies a lot depending on state, but my mother's been disabled her whole life and recently aged into being required to use medicare, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still qualify for medicaid from disability. Medicare is expected to be utilized first (probably because they have the strongest bargaining for lower prices) but medicaid will pay all the fees and copays and whatnot, and anything not covered by medicare will then be handled by medicaid.
Oh I know, it's just... different. and I have a ton of medical trauma, and for instance I know my therapist takes Medicaid (OHP, specifically) but can only take a very specific type of Medicare patient with a certain type of plan and even then only on one day a week. And Medicare won't cover pantaprozale, which is what I take, and will try to switch to dexilant, which Medicaid won't cover; it just adds another layer of nightmare. I know ultimately it is worthwhile, but I've had a such a hard time finding care that is what I would consider tolerable overall (not even great! though some providers do reach that high) that adding any new wrinkle is a terrifying idea. And that's before getting into things like having ADHD and the issues with getting meds for that - that alone is enough of a nightmare that the idea of upsetting the delicate balance of 'have a provider' and 'have meds' and 'can get those meds filled' is exhausting.
Probably the worst part about the exorbitant price of the covid vaccine shot if you do it out of pocket is that the United States government, aka the taxpayers, funded the research for that vaccine we're now being told to pay $200 for.
Because the entire pharmaceutical industry needs to be burned to the ground.
Boy howdy, did Terry Pratchett ever ruin that song for me.
The old man in the hovel looked uncertainly at the feast spread in front of him. He sat on his stool as curled up on himself as a spider in a flame.
"I'd got a mess of beans cooking," he mumbled, looking at his visitors through filmy eyes.
"Good heavens, you can't eat beans at Hogswatch," said the king, smiling hugely. "That's terribly unlucky, eating beans at Hogswatch. My word, yes!"
"Di'nt know that," the old man said, looking down desperately at his lap.
"We've brought you this magnificent spread. Don't you think so?"
"I bet you're incredibly grateful for it, too," said the page, sharply.
"Yes, well, o' course, it's very kind of you gennelmen," said the old man, in a voice the size of a mouse. He blinked, uncertain of what to do next.
"The turkey's hardly been touched, still plenty of meat on it," said the king. "And do have some of this cracking good widgeon stuffed with swan's liver."
"--only I'm partial to a bowl of beans and I've never been beholden to no one nor nobody," the old man said, sill staring at his lap.
"Good heavens, man, you don't need to worry about that," said the king heartily. "It's Hogswatch! I was only just now looking out of the window and I saw you plodding through the snow and I said to young Jermain here, I said 'Who's that chappie?' and he said, 'Oh, he's some peasant fellow who lives up by the forest,' and I said, 'Well, I couldn't eat another thing and it's Hogswatch, after all,' and so we just bundled everything up and here we are!"
"And I expect you're pathetically thankful," said the page. "I expect we've brought a ray of light into your dark tunnel of a life, hmm?"
"--yes, well, o' course, only I'd been savin' 'em for weeks, see, and there's some bakin' potatoes under the fire, I found 'em in the cellar 'n' the mice'd hardly touched 'em." The old man never raised his eyes from knee level. "'n' our dad brought me up never to ask for--"
"Listen," said the king, raising his voice a little, "I've walked miles tonight and I bet you've never seen food like this in your whole life, eh?"
Tears of humiliated embarrassment were rolling down the old man's face.
"--well, I'm sure it's very kind of you fine gennelemen but I ain't sure I knows how to eat swans and such like, but if you want a bit o' my beans you only got to say--"
"Let me make myself absolutely clear," said the king sharply. "This is some genuine Hogswatch charity, d'you understand? And we're going to sit here and watch the smile on your grubby but honest face, is that understood?"
"And what do you say to the good king?" the page prompted.
The peasant hung his head.
"'nk you."
"Right, said the king, sitting back. "Now, pick up your fork--"
The door burst open. An indistinct figure strode into the room, snow swirling around it in a cloud.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
The page started to stand up, drawing his sword. He never worked out how the other figure could have got behind him, but there it was, pressing him gently down again.
"Hello, son, my name is Albert," said a voice by his ear. "Why don't you put that sword back very slowly? people might get hurt."
A finger prodded the king, who had been too shocked to move.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SIRE?
The king tried to focus on the figure. There was an impression of red and white, but black, too.
To Albert's secret amazement, the man managed to get to his feet and draw himself up as regally as he could.
"What it going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who--"
NO. IT'S NOT.
"What? How dare you--"
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.
"Oh, no, he's going too far again--" muttered Albert under his breath. He pushed the page down again. "No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph."
"Whatever it is, it's more than he's got!" snapped the king. "And all we've had from him is ingratitude--"
YES, THAT DOES SPOIL IT, DOESN'T IT? Death leaned forward. GO AWAY.
To the king's own surprise his body took over and marched him out the door.
Albert patted the page on the shoulder. "And you can run along, too," he said.
"--I didn't mean to go upsetting anyone, it's just that I never asked no one for nothing--" mumbled the old man, in a small humble world of his own, his hands tangling themselves together out of nervousness.
"Best if you leave this one to me, master, if you don't mind," said Albert. "I'll be back in just a tick." Loose ends, he thought, that's my job. Tying up loose ends. The master never thinks things through.
He caught up with the king outside.
"Ah, there you are, your sire," he said. "Just before you go, won't keep you a minute, just a minor point--" Albert leaned close to the stunned monarch. "If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?" He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Happy Hogswatch."
Then he hurried back into the hovel.
The feast had vanished. The old man was looking blearily at the bare table.
HALF-EATEN LEAVINGS, said Death. WE COULD CERTAINLY DO BETTER THAN THAT. He reached into the sack.
Albert grabbed his arm before he could withdraw his hand.
"Mind taking a bit of advice, master? I was brung up in a place like this."
DOES IT BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES?
"A box of matches to me hand, more like. Listen..."
The old man was only dimly aware of some whispering. He sat hunched up, staring at nothing.
WELL, IF YOU ARE SURE...
"Been there, done that, chewed the bones," said Albert. "Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get."
VERY WELL.
Death reached into the sack again.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. Ho. Ho. Ho.
There was a string of sausages. There was a side of bacon. And a small tub of salt pork. And a mass of chitterlings wrapped up in grease paper. There was a black pudding. There were several other tubs of disgusting yet savory pork-adjacent items highly prized in any pig-based economy. And, laid on the table with a soft thump, there was--
"A pig's head," breathed the old man. "A whole one! Ain't had brawn in years! And a basin of pig knuckles! and a bowl of pork dripping!"
"If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?"
At some point I tracked down and added the Christmas Album for 1996’s Carranger, Merry Xmas! From CARRANGER to my Christmas playlist to go along with a collection of others including the Muppet Christmas Carol album, the aforementioned two versions of Last Christmas, and others:
Boy howdy, did Terry Pratchett ever ruin that song for me.
The old man in the hovel looked uncertainly at the feast spread in front of him. He sat on his stool as curled up on himself as a spider in a flame.
"I'd got a mess of beans cooking," he mumbled, looking at his visitors through filmy eyes.
"Good heavens, you can't eat beans at Hogswatch," said the king, smiling hugely. "That's terribly unlucky, eating beans at Hogswatch. My word, yes!"
"Di'nt know that," the old man said, looking down desperately at his lap.
"We've brought you this magnificent spread. Don't you think so?"
"I bet you're incredibly grateful for it, too," said the page, sharply.
"Yes, well, o' course, it's very kind of you gennelmen," said the old man, in a voice the size of a mouse. He blinked, uncertain of what to do next.
"The turkey's hardly been touched, still plenty of meat on it," said the king. "And do have some of this cracking good widgeon stuffed with swan's liver."
"--only I'm partial to a bowl of beans and I've never been beholden to no one nor nobody," the old man said, sill staring at his lap.
"Good heavens, man, you don't need to worry about that," said the king heartily. "It's Hogswatch! I was only just now looking out of the window and I saw you plodding through the snow and I said to young Jermain here, I said 'Who's that chappie?' and he said, 'Oh, he's some peasant fellow who lives up by the forest,' and I said, 'Well, I couldn't eat another thing and it's Hogswatch, after all,' and so we just bundled everything up and here we are!"
"And I expect you're pathetically thankful," said the page. "I expect we've brought a ray of light into your dark tunnel of a life, hmm?"
"--yes, well, o' course, only I'd been savin' 'em for weeks, see, and there's some bakin' potatoes under the fire, I found 'em in the cellar 'n' the mice'd hardly touched 'em." The old man never raised his eyes from knee level. "'n' our dad brought me up never to ask for--"
"Listen," said the king, raising his voice a little, "I've walked miles tonight and I bet you've never seen food like this in your whole life, eh?"
Tears of humiliated embarrassment were rolling down the old man's face.
"--well, I'm sure it's very kind of you fine gennelemen but I ain't sure I knows how to eat swans and such like, but if you want a bit o' my beans you only got to say--"
"Let me make myself absolutely clear," said the king sharply. "This is some genuine Hogswatch charity, d'you understand? And we're going to sit here and watch the smile on your grubby but honest face, is that understood?"
"And what do you say to the good king?" the page prompted.
The peasant hung his head.
"'nk you."
"Right, said the king, sitting back. "Now, pick up your fork--"
The door burst open. An indistinct figure strode into the room, snow swirling around it in a cloud.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
The page started to stand up, drawing his sword. He never worked out how the other figure could have got behind him, but there it was, pressing him gently down again.
"Hello, son, my name is Albert," said a voice by his ear. "Why don't you put that sword back very slowly? people might get hurt."
A finger prodded the king, who had been too shocked to move.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SIRE?
The king tried to focus on the figure. There was an impression of red and white, but black, too.
To Albert's secret amazement, the man managed to get to his feet and draw himself up as regally as he could.
"What it going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who--"
NO. IT'S NOT.
"What? How dare you--"
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.
"Oh, no, he's going too far again--" muttered Albert under his breath. He pushed the page down again. "No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph."
"Whatever it is, it's more than he's got!" snapped the king. "And all we've had from him is ingratitude--"
YES, THAT DOES SPOIL IT, DOESN'T IT? Death leaned forward. GO AWAY.
To the king's own surprise his body took over and marched him out the door.
Albert patted the page on the shoulder. "And you can run along, too," he said.
"--I didn't mean to go upsetting anyone, it's just that I never asked no one for nothing--" mumbled the old man, in a small humble world of his own, his hands tangling themselves together out of nervousness.
"Best if you leave this one to me, master, if you don't mind," said Albert. "I'll be back in just a tick." Loose ends, he thought, that's my job. Tying up loose ends. The master never thinks things through.
He caught up with the king outside.
"Ah, there you are, your sire," he said. "Just before you go, won't keep you a minute, just a minor point--" Albert leaned close to the stunned monarch. "If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?" He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Happy Hogswatch."
Then he hurried back into the hovel.
The feast had vanished. The old man was looking blearily at the bare table.
HALF-EATEN LEAVINGS, said Death. WE COULD CERTAINLY DO BETTER THAN THAT. He reached into the sack.
Albert grabbed his arm before he could withdraw his hand.
"Mind taking a bit of advice, master? I was brung up in a place like this."
DOES IT BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES?
"A box of matches to me hand, more like. Listen..."
The old man was only dimly aware of some whispering. He sat hunched up, staring at nothing.
WELL, IF YOU ARE SURE...
"Been there, done that, chewed the bones," said Albert. "Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get."
VERY WELL.
Death reached into the sack again.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. Ho. Ho. Ho.
There was a string of sausages. There was a side of bacon. And a small tub of salt pork. And a mass of chitterlings wrapped up in grease paper. There was a black pudding. There were several other tubs of disgusting yet savory pork-adjacent items highly prized in any pig-based economy. And, laid on the table with a soft thump, there was--
"A pig's head," breathed the old man. "A whole one! Ain't had brawn in years! And a basin of pig knuckles! and a bowl of pork dripping!"
Posts
The cartoon is terrible because it brought back grandma when the entire point of the song is that grandma got hit and run'd by Santa and nobody in the family thinks much of her death, to the point her husband just watches TV and plays cards while the rest of the family wonders whether they should open grandma's gifts or return them. It's an absurd and morbid dark humor set to a jaunty tune explicitly for the dissonance.
Satans..... hints.....
She got run over by a reindeer, huh
Was she vaxxed?
No. That's why the reindeer hit squad ran her over.
All I Want For Christmas Is You and Last Christmas are written as pop songs that happen to be about Christmas, so they have a lot more melody. The former also has the advantage of being sung by one of the best singers of all time.
I can take or leave last Christmas, it's still fairly bland, but AIWFCIY is a banger and I hate how it gets slandered.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
That song rips.
My playlist, incidentally, also has the best rendition of Old King Wenceslas on it:
It is my personal head cannon that the dead grandma in this commercial would still be alive if she had just gotten the shots instead of “doing her own research”
Insurance provider: “So we’re not going to pay for this if you’re getting it at a pharmacy. From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.”
State Health Department: “There are literally no non-pharmacy options to get the shot.”
Pharmacies: “Well I mean technically the CDC bridge program, which we are partnered with, would cover your costs, but since there is a technical hypothetical scenario in which your insurance would cover this, even though there is no actual practical way for you to utilize that coverage, you may not participate under the CDC bridge program. Please pay us $200 for one single injection”
This has, as far as I can tell, been a problem for months, despite hte administration claiming things are fixed (they are defintiely not fixed):
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2023/09/23/covid-vaccine-insurance-denials-cancellations/70918394007/
Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses fucking slaps and rips and fucks yes
And WA HEYYYYY this is #2 on the list of best Christmas songs
Health insurance should be illegal
Steam ID - VeldrinD
The most fun part of that article Lanz posted,
Can't have you going around your insurer and just paying out of pocket without their say so
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
jesus
If it helps, and by helps I mean makes it even worse, I take a shot every 8 weeks for my psoriasis that retails $25,000! Hell world! Also the reason I will cling to Medicaid for dear life, and roll my eyes every time my sister suggests I get "a part time job or something" - show me where I can find a job that'll pay enough to cover premiums, copays, etc and still have any money left plus is flexible enough to work with a chronic illness. Hell, I'm honestly a little concerned about applying for disability, because if I get approved then in 5 years I'll get kicked over to Medicare as primary insurance and everything will stop being free. Helllllll world
something about using the holidays to acknowledge you had a shit year and be determined the next will be better will always work for me
Yeah
yeah
Also just realized I had the “ From a general practicioner’s office or other such facility sure, but we won’t cover vaccinations at any pharmacy.” under the wrong one, that one’s my shitty insurance, not the state
All I Want For Christmas Is You has energy, something desperately needed after decades of tedious Christmas carols that have existed in that period.
There's a handful of good songs there, but I'm much more on board with AIWFCIY and the Clarkson song Zonugal mentioned.
I will admit that there is a goodly portion of the songs in Home Alone that are welded to the Christmas receptors in my brain, but that doesn't mean Darlene Love doesn't have a Christmas banger.
Boy howdy, did Terry Pratchett ever ruin that song for me.
"I'd got a mess of beans cooking," he mumbled, looking at his visitors through filmy eyes.
"Good heavens, you can't eat beans at Hogswatch," said the king, smiling hugely. "That's terribly unlucky, eating beans at Hogswatch. My word, yes!"
"Di'nt know that," the old man said, looking down desperately at his lap.
"We've brought you this magnificent spread. Don't you think so?"
"I bet you're incredibly grateful for it, too," said the page, sharply.
"Yes, well, o' course, it's very kind of you gennelmen," said the old man, in a voice the size of a mouse. He blinked, uncertain of what to do next.
"The turkey's hardly been touched, still plenty of meat on it," said the king. "And do have some of this cracking good widgeon stuffed with swan's liver."
"--only I'm partial to a bowl of beans and I've never been beholden to no one nor nobody," the old man said, sill staring at his lap.
"Good heavens, man, you don't need to worry about that," said the king heartily. "It's Hogswatch! I was only just now looking out of the window and I saw you plodding through the snow and I said to young Jermain here, I said 'Who's that chappie?' and he said, 'Oh, he's some peasant fellow who lives up by the forest,' and I said, 'Well, I couldn't eat another thing and it's Hogswatch, after all,' and so we just bundled everything up and here we are!"
"And I expect you're pathetically thankful," said the page. "I expect we've brought a ray of light into your dark tunnel of a life, hmm?"
"--yes, well, o' course, only I'd been savin' 'em for weeks, see, and there's some bakin' potatoes under the fire, I found 'em in the cellar 'n' the mice'd hardly touched 'em." The old man never raised his eyes from knee level. "'n' our dad brought me up never to ask for--"
"Listen," said the king, raising his voice a little, "I've walked miles tonight and I bet you've never seen food like this in your whole life, eh?"
Tears of humiliated embarrassment were rolling down the old man's face.
"--well, I'm sure it's very kind of you fine gennelemen but I ain't sure I knows how to eat swans and such like, but if you want a bit o' my beans you only got to say--"
"Let me make myself absolutely clear," said the king sharply. "This is some genuine Hogswatch charity, d'you understand? And we're going to sit here and watch the smile on your grubby but honest face, is that understood?"
"And what do you say to the good king?" the page prompted.
The peasant hung his head.
"'nk you."
"Right, said the king, sitting back. "Now, pick up your fork--"
The door burst open. An indistinct figure strode into the room, snow swirling around it in a cloud.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
The page started to stand up, drawing his sword. He never worked out how the other figure could have got behind him, but there it was, pressing him gently down again.
"Hello, son, my name is Albert," said a voice by his ear. "Why don't you put that sword back very slowly? people might get hurt."
A finger prodded the king, who had been too shocked to move.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SIRE?
The king tried to focus on the figure. There was an impression of red and white, but black, too.
To Albert's secret amazement, the man managed to get to his feet and draw himself up as regally as he could.
"What it going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who--"
NO. IT'S NOT.
"What? How dare you--"
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.
"Oh, no, he's going too far again--" muttered Albert under his breath. He pushed the page down again. "No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph."
"Whatever it is, it's more than he's got!" snapped the king. "And all we've had from him is ingratitude--"
YES, THAT DOES SPOIL IT, DOESN'T IT? Death leaned forward. GO AWAY.
To the king's own surprise his body took over and marched him out the door.
Albert patted the page on the shoulder. "And you can run along, too," he said.
"--I didn't mean to go upsetting anyone, it's just that I never asked no one for nothing--" mumbled the old man, in a small humble world of his own, his hands tangling themselves together out of nervousness.
"Best if you leave this one to me, master, if you don't mind," said Albert. "I'll be back in just a tick." Loose ends, he thought, that's my job. Tying up loose ends. The master never thinks things through.
He caught up with the king outside.
"Ah, there you are, your sire," he said. "Just before you go, won't keep you a minute, just a minor point--" Albert leaned close to the stunned monarch. "If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?" He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Happy Hogswatch."
Then he hurried back into the hovel.
The feast had vanished. The old man was looking blearily at the bare table.
HALF-EATEN LEAVINGS, said Death. WE COULD CERTAINLY DO BETTER THAN THAT. He reached into the sack.
Albert grabbed his arm before he could withdraw his hand.
"Mind taking a bit of advice, master? I was brung up in a place like this."
DOES IT BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES?
"A box of matches to me hand, more like. Listen..."
The old man was only dimly aware of some whispering. He sat hunched up, staring at nothing.
WELL, IF YOU ARE SURE...
"Been there, done that, chewed the bones," said Albert. "Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get."
VERY WELL.
Death reached into the sack again.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. Ho. Ho. Ho.
There was a string of sausages. There was a side of bacon. And a small tub of salt pork. And a mass of chitterlings wrapped up in grease paper. There was a black pudding. There were several other tubs of disgusting yet savory pork-adjacent items highly prized in any pig-based economy. And, laid on the table with a soft thump, there was--
"A pig's head," breathed the old man. "A whole one! Ain't had brawn in years! And a basin of pig knuckles! and a bowl of pork dripping!"
Ho. Ho. Ho.
given that it's walmart I halfway expect you to find the price deducted from your next paycheck or something
if we're talking darlene love might as well post the Actual Best christmas song
This is why Christmas Wrapping is the best, it very aggressively fucks your ears and makes you want to run thru a wall
I know it varies a lot depending on state, but my mother's been disabled her whole life and recently aged into being required to use medicare, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still qualify for medicaid from disability. Medicare is expected to be utilized first (probably because they have the strongest bargaining for lower prices) but medicaid will pay all the fees and copays and whatnot, and anything not covered by medicare will then be handled by medicaid.
Oh I know, it's just... different. and I have a ton of medical trauma, and for instance I know my therapist takes Medicaid (OHP, specifically) but can only take a very specific type of Medicare patient with a certain type of plan and even then only on one day a week. And Medicare won't cover pantaprozale, which is what I take, and will try to switch to dexilant, which Medicaid won't cover; it just adds another layer of nightmare. I know ultimately it is worthwhile, but I've had a such a hard time finding care that is what I would consider tolerable overall (not even great! though some providers do reach that high) that adding any new wrinkle is a terrifying idea. And that's before getting into things like having ADHD and the issues with getting meds for that - that alone is enough of a nightmare that the idea of upsetting the delicate balance of 'have a provider' and 'have meds' and 'can get those meds filled' is exhausting.
Because the entire pharmaceutical industry needs to be burned to the ground.
"I'd got a mess of beans cooking," he mumbled, looking at his visitors through filmy eyes.
"Good heavens, you can't eat beans at Hogswatch," said the king, smiling hugely. "That's terribly unlucky, eating beans at Hogswatch. My word, yes!"
"Di'nt know that," the old man said, looking down desperately at his lap.
"We've brought you this magnificent spread. Don't you think so?"
"I bet you're incredibly grateful for it, too," said the page, sharply.
"Yes, well, o' course, it's very kind of you gennelmen," said the old man, in a voice the size of a mouse. He blinked, uncertain of what to do next.
"The turkey's hardly been touched, still plenty of meat on it," said the king. "And do have some of this cracking good widgeon stuffed with swan's liver."
"--only I'm partial to a bowl of beans and I've never been beholden to no one nor nobody," the old man said, sill staring at his lap.
"Good heavens, man, you don't need to worry about that," said the king heartily. "It's Hogswatch! I was only just now looking out of the window and I saw you plodding through the snow and I said to young Jermain here, I said 'Who's that chappie?' and he said, 'Oh, he's some peasant fellow who lives up by the forest,' and I said, 'Well, I couldn't eat another thing and it's Hogswatch, after all,' and so we just bundled everything up and here we are!"
"And I expect you're pathetically thankful," said the page. "I expect we've brought a ray of light into your dark tunnel of a life, hmm?"
"--yes, well, o' course, only I'd been savin' 'em for weeks, see, and there's some bakin' potatoes under the fire, I found 'em in the cellar 'n' the mice'd hardly touched 'em." The old man never raised his eyes from knee level. "'n' our dad brought me up never to ask for--"
"Listen," said the king, raising his voice a little, "I've walked miles tonight and I bet you've never seen food like this in your whole life, eh?"
Tears of humiliated embarrassment were rolling down the old man's face.
"--well, I'm sure it's very kind of you fine gennelemen but I ain't sure I knows how to eat swans and such like, but if you want a bit o' my beans you only got to say--"
"Let me make myself absolutely clear," said the king sharply. "This is some genuine Hogswatch charity, d'you understand? And we're going to sit here and watch the smile on your grubby but honest face, is that understood?"
"And what do you say to the good king?" the page prompted.
The peasant hung his head.
"'nk you."
"Right, said the king, sitting back. "Now, pick up your fork--"
The door burst open. An indistinct figure strode into the room, snow swirling around it in a cloud.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
The page started to stand up, drawing his sword. He never worked out how the other figure could have got behind him, but there it was, pressing him gently down again.
"Hello, son, my name is Albert," said a voice by his ear. "Why don't you put that sword back very slowly? people might get hurt."
A finger prodded the king, who had been too shocked to move.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SIRE?
The king tried to focus on the figure. There was an impression of red and white, but black, too.
To Albert's secret amazement, the man managed to get to his feet and draw himself up as regally as he could.
"What it going on here, whoever you are, is some fine old Hogswatch charity! And who--"
NO. IT'S NOT.
"What? How dare you--"
WERE YOU HERE LAST MONTH? WILL YOU BE HERE NEXT WEEK? NO. BUT TONIGHT YOU WANTED TO FEEL ALL WARM INSIDE. TONIGHT YOU WILL WANT THEM TO SAY: WHAT A GOOD KING HE IS.
"Oh, no, he's going too far again--" muttered Albert under his breath. He pushed the page down again. "No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph."
"Whatever it is, it's more than he's got!" snapped the king. "And all we've had from him is ingratitude--"
YES, THAT DOES SPOIL IT, DOESN'T IT? Death leaned forward. GO AWAY.
To the king's own surprise his body took over and marched him out the door.
Albert patted the page on the shoulder. "And you can run along, too," he said.
"--I didn't mean to go upsetting anyone, it's just that I never asked no one for nothing--" mumbled the old man, in a small humble world of his own, his hands tangling themselves together out of nervousness.
"Best if you leave this one to me, master, if you don't mind," said Albert. "I'll be back in just a tick." Loose ends, he thought, that's my job. Tying up loose ends. The master never thinks things through.
He caught up with the king outside.
"Ah, there you are, your sire," he said. "Just before you go, won't keep you a minute, just a minor point--" Albert leaned close to the stunned monarch. "If anyone was thinking about making a mistake, you know, like maybe sending the guards down here tomorrow, tipping the old man out of his hovel, chuckin' him in prison, anything like that....werrll....that's the kind of mistake he ought to treasure on account of it being the last mistake he'll ever make. A word to the wise men, right?" He tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Happy Hogswatch."
Then he hurried back into the hovel.
The feast had vanished. The old man was looking blearily at the bare table.
HALF-EATEN LEAVINGS, said Death. WE COULD CERTAINLY DO BETTER THAN THAT. He reached into the sack.
Albert grabbed his arm before he could withdraw his hand.
"Mind taking a bit of advice, master? I was brung up in a place like this."
DOES IT BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES?
"A box of matches to me hand, more like. Listen..."
The old man was only dimly aware of some whispering. He sat hunched up, staring at nothing.
WELL, IF YOU ARE SURE...
"Been there, done that, chewed the bones," said Albert. "Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get."
VERY WELL.
Death reached into the sack again.
HAPPY HOGSWATCH. Ho. Ho. Ho.
There was a string of sausages. There was a side of bacon. And a small tub of salt pork. And a mass of chitterlings wrapped up in grease paper. There was a black pudding. There were several other tubs of disgusting yet savory pork-adjacent items highly prized in any pig-based economy. And, laid on the table with a soft thump, there was--
"A pig's head," breathed the old man. "A whole one! Ain't had brawn in years! And a basin of pig knuckles! and a bowl of pork dripping!"
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Hogfather is one of his best.
You know what? Time for a reread!
Edit: whoops, broke the quote tree!
I fucking love that line. So good.
Slip this into the playlist and watch all the old people panic.
John Finnemore addressed it, too