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The crwth Tapestry for Stalin Enthusiasts

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Posts

  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I still count getting a staph infection on my lips as perhaps the worst injury I've ever had. The bacteria ate the skin clean off! I looked like a cut-rate Dick Tracey villain for about a month as a result. My lips grew back, thankfully, but man oh man was that a bad bout of illness. I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.

    As it turns out, having a staph infection on your lips means you effectively can't really eat or drink until it starts to scab over and heal. I was barely intaking enough water to stay alive, and I lost so much weight so rapidly that the only pants what fit were the two pairs of sweatpants I had with built-in cinch cords.

    If you have the chance the experience a staph infection of any serious magnitude in your lifetime, I heartily recommend that you take a pass. 0/5 stars, do not recommend.

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  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    Did you go to the store yet

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I've had some good ones. When I was five I nearly lost my left eye to an Akita, that was good for thirty-five stitches under the eye and on my nose. I wasn't anesthetized because, according to my grandmother, I fixated hard on a model skeleton they had in the room where they did the stitching and the doctor waved the nurse off before I lost interest and starting crying again. Got a concussion a few years later after getting slung off an inner tube tied to the back of a jet ski going 30ish MPH. Six or seven years ago I didn't put sunscreen on my legs when I went to hang out at the beach with some friends, and by the time we left I had one blister the size of a grain of rice on my left knee and both legs were deep red. Next day I had blisters on both knees, that was a miserable week. Last November I thought I sprained my ankle real bad, but I think I tore something instead, because six months later it still hurts to move it a specific way.

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  • IronKnuckleIronKnuckle This is also my fault Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    About three years ago I bought a hand sickle for trimming grass near my trees and other plants that I don't want to accidentally hit with the weed wacker.

    A year ago today I was cutting the grass fairly late in the afternoon, and a few wasps were being jerks. One landed on my right arm and I reflexively jerked that arm to shoo it away. Only problem was, the sickle was in my hand. I wasn't aware of the actual cut itself, but when I looked down and saw the river of blood starting to well up and head towards my sock, I realized what I had done.

    I went to the hospital for the first time since the day I was born, and got seven stitches.

    Still use the sickle, but I wear long pants when I do yardwork now.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • smofsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Last year the middle finger on my left hand got degloved from the second knuckle up because my dog is much fucking stronger than she looks.

    Don't wrap dog leashes around your fingers, folks, wrap it around the heel of your hand.

    We have a pretty long lead for our dog, with a carabiner attached to the end and three metal rings at different points along the lead, so you can clip the carabiner to different rings to adjust the length. Every time I walk her I will have half a dozen moments where I absent-mindedly wrap the lead around my fingers and put a finger through one of the rings because it feels nice to hold, before realising what a terrible idea that is. And then do it again a few minutes later.

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  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Last year the middle finger on my left hand got degloved from the second knuckle up because my dog is much fucking stronger than she looks.

    Don't wrap dog leashes around your fingers, folks, wrap it around the heel of your hand.

    Actually, put the loop over the thumb of your hand and wrap the loose bit up into a figure-8 or accordion that you grip in your palm

    The thumb muscle is stronger and you get the benefit of your knuckles being able to grip with less risk of wrists being harmed

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    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
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  • ChuChu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    i had a negative prostate biopsy... 6? years ago. and they went in through the ol butthole. my PSA (which is i guess the principal proxy for something going wrong down there) was very elevated and still is.

    i'm still in my 30s so there's a bunch of medical disagreement over whether it's worth costly, invasive procedures to check for a cancer that has a low incidence in men my age, and also that usually takes quite a while to progress to the life threatening stage. i saw a stat that said most men die with prostate cancer rather than of it. buttttttttt some doctors still support it being done a second time if the PSA result hasn't gone down, to maybe catch the first test's false negative.

    here's the ouch part: if they do it again, i'm told that instead of going in my butt they will burrow in through my taint. what an exciting concept.

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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I am due for a colonoscopy again this winter myself

    Because my bio dad had colorectal cancer in his 50s and they found a 2cm polyp in me with my first one which was early considering my age the GI wants me to go in like every 3 years the rest of my life basically.

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  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    More like some buttttttt doctors

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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    When I had my kidney stone taken out that's kinda what they did, put a little camera up my peehole to go to my ureter to pull the stone out

    Well they got it out and they were supposed to put a stent in me for a few weeks but they nicked the wall of my ureter which caused a blockage between my kidney and bladder and they couldn't get the stent past it at all.

    Woke up in the worst pain in my life, absolutely horrible, my bladder was backing up really bad and Dilaudid and morphine was doing less than nothing for the pain.

    So they had to go put me under a like ct machine where they could guide a big ass needle between my bottom to ribs between a plane of muscle there, called a nephrostomy, relieved the pain right away but my stent went in through that too help my ureter heal and so I had a plastic tube poking out my back for like a month which wasn't fun. They capped it too so that the urine would drain down properly and my kidney would heal right, but unfortunately three pressure of my bladder when I went to the bathroom meant it backed up the tube anyway and kinda out of the hole where the tube was. It was gross and humiliating and they somehow I guess expected me to wear the same gross dressing for a full calendar month.

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  • ChuChu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    damn they really said rest in piss : (

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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Had to go to a class I was taking at the time smelling like pee the entire time

    Lucky the took it out before my friends wedding that year which I was officiating. So I got to wear nice clothes, and heck I lost a bunch of weight haha. Turns out major complications like that (I could have lost the kidney entirely!) is often very traumatic and while I was healing I had like no appetite. I got down to like 320 pounds that October.

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  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    ough

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    BahamutZERO.gif
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    ough

    Roblox?

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  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    oof

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  • SealSeal Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I once impaled my wrist on a shard of glass that required some minor surgery to re-attach a tendon and it took roughly 15 years for the nerve endings to mostly grow back and restore feeling in the bottom of my palm. And I once was impaled by a steel spike in the back of my thigh and the 8 inch region later swelled to roughly the size of a football after it was stitched up and the surprise of all the extra weight almost caused me to fall over the first time I tried to move around.

    If you're ever offered the choice between being impaled in the wrist or thigh, go with the thigh. There are faaaaaaaaaar fewer pain receptors in the leg and it was a breeze having a doctor finger around in my leg for a few minutes to check for any muscle or tendon damage, compared to the 5 minutes of hell of a doctor poking around inside my wrist to see what was fucked and what was fine.

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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    they put a storm water overflow basin thing in, next to my development, when they built the fancy expensive development next to it and I was climbing on the concrete above the drains and I tripped and fell on my head and was unconscious for a little bit, and then I woke up and started crying and walking back to my house, and my dad drove by and I'm sobbing and covered in mud and blood and he was just like "oh, go home, I have to get to the library before they close."

    I love my dad, but damn dude.

    Quetzi on
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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    Late book return is no joke

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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I have avoided major ouchies fortunately

    Actual burn sunburn and stitches in my forehead yeah, a broken toe….but my boanyoan now is like the worst thing I’ve had

    My wife has had an ovary rupture, her esophagus partially tear from her stomach, a Lisfranc, part of her tongue sliced off, and that’s just in the last like 6 years

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    There was a club near my dorm called The Slope, because it was a repurposed theatre. And so the whole dance floor was sloped.
    Being a student joint, they served beer in hard plastic glasses. Don't shatter.
    At the the end of one night, I step backwards on one of these rolling down and land on my back. Friends laugh, I get up, feel mostly fine, go home.

    I wake up with my arm lieing on my chest, and unable to move it more than about an inch. And moving it with my other hand hurts a ton.
    It's Saturday afternoon so the ER is the only option.
    I get triaged, scheduled as 'low prio' and spend 4h watching more severe cases pass through, from pretty bad sports injuries to post heart attack ambulances.
    Eventually a scan gets made and no broken bones, but I did very nearly completely tear off a muscle in my elbow. 4 weeks cast around the elbow, a real nuisance. The second stupid part is that it kept hurting a little bit at tomes, and it took me 4 years to go to physiotherapy and turns out just simple exercises strengthened it back.

    =

    I had slept poorly before work, felt a bit groggy and I took a bus at the time. 15mins to Central Station, then a tram.

    By the time the bus arrived, I felt slightly nauseous.

    3 minutes on the bus, I could barely stand. I walked to the front of the bus and yelled open the door, I'm not feeling well.
    I got out and couldn't stand. I was insanely dizzy.
    I tried 2 steps and threw up in a garbage bin.

    I called my GP and had to wait 10 minutes.
    In that time I was seriously thinking it may be some kind of brain damage. I was so scared.
    The GP recognized it immediately as accute Labyrinthitis (balance organ inflamation) and calmed me down. Lie down until it is over. Still I was on sidewalk in the city, half a mile from house. I doubted I could ride a car because of the nausea. I walked step by step looking at the floor holding walls. Took me 90mins to get home.
    Then I had to call around so I didn't have to move. I couldn't even watch TV the first day. I threw up in a bucket on my to the toilet. Took 4 days to clear.

    This was 20y ago and every now and again it comes back, though less problematic in the last decade.



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    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    In camp when I was a kid we did what amounted to baseball but with tennis balls and rackets. I hit the ball really hard and the racket broke and I didn't realize part of the racket had swung around and cut my arm open. Started rounding the bases and people were like "dude you're bleeding" which I thought was them bullshitting me.

    Then to find out no one at the camp, run by the YWCA, was first aid trained, and just gave me paper towels to hold against it. Those old, brown paper towels that are basically made of sandpaper. Still have the scar from the stitches there.

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  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    they put a storm water overflow basin thing in, next to my development, when they built the fancy expensive development next to it and I was climbing on the concrete above the drains and I tripped and fell on my head and was unconscious for a little bit, and then I woke up and started crying and walking back to my house, and my dad drove by and I'm sobbing and covered in mud and blood and he was just like "oh, go home, I have to get to the library before they close."

    I love my dad, but damn dude.

    Your dad knew what was up. The sacrifice was noted.

    Quetzi on
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  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I haven't really injured myself much since becoming an adult, but as a kid I accidentally chopped my bare foot with a hatchet, got myself in the webbing between my big and second toe. that didn't feel good!

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  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    they put a storm water overflow basin thing in, next to my development, when they built the fancy expensive development next to it and I was climbing on the concrete above the drains and I tripped and fell on my head and was unconscious for a little bit, and then I woke up and started crying and walking back to my house, and my dad drove by and I'm sobbing and covered in mud and blood and he was just like "oh, go home, I have to get to the library before they close."

    I love my dad, but damn dude.

    My first concussion was a bike accident where I panicked going down a large, steep hill (from googling it looks like about 20° for over a mile) and tried to brake but I had a kid's bike with the kind of brakes that are on the pedals and there's no gradual, there is brake or no brake. I locked up my brakes, flipped over the handlebars, bounced and slid on my face, just an absolute wreck because it was 1990 and I was absolutely not wearing a helmet, walked home and my dad said "eh you'll be alright, take a nap and you won't even notice it". My mom melted down when she came home because it's the absolute worst advice for head trauma.

    As a kid I broke my collarbone, bike accident concussion, sledding accident concussion that made me temporarily blind, and broke my right leg in two places, all by Christmas of fifth grade. And those are just the notable injuries! As an adult my dad told me that him and my mom were worried "because you seemed like a crybaby". I'm not sure it counts as being a crybaby if you spent a lot of time just absolutely fucked up!

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  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    There's a scar on the base of my thumb I got from cutting open a baguette and the knife slipped.

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I get 99% of my injuries now from Taliskitty trying to gain purchase with her claws as she clambers over me

    Currently bleeding from the stomach

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    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • smofsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    There's a scar on the base of my thumb I got from cutting open a baguette and the knife slipped.

    Sounds painful

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    My worst injury was on a bike when camping near some beach I forget the name of. There was a big, winding hill that was really fun to go downhill on since the curves were just enough that you didn't need to brake at all to make the turns. I'd done it a dozen times that day alone. Then on the final go I make it to the bottom and see that someone has parked their truck right smack in the final curve next to our campsite, directly in the path of where my bike was destined to be in about five seconds at high enough speed to send me flying through said truck's rear window. Helmet or not I wouldn't be walking away from that.

    I'm not entirely sure what happened afterwards myself, but I was told by onlookers at the campsite they saw me attempt to jump off the bike just before impact and go into a roll form I'd learned from martial arts. I say attempt because one of my feet caught in the bike, and instead of doing a roll I was dragged across ten feet of road primarily on my knees for most of it. Ultimately it turned out I hadn't broken any bones, but it took a good month at least before I could move my legs due to fine grinding pretty much all the flesh on my knees and a bit of shoulder.

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  • KamiroKamiro Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    When I was in 1st grade, I tripped on my shoelaces going up the stairs to class and my chin landed on the metal edged corner of the stairs. Immediately started bleeding and was taken to the ER.

    At the ER, they had run out of whatever special adhesives they sometimes use instead of stitches so was scheduled to get stitches in. But before the ER doc could get started, he got called away to deal with a gunshot wound victim that had just showed up. He came back pretty shortly after he left and said “oh, that guy died so we can start now”

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  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    There's a scar on the base of my thumb I got from cutting open a baguette and the knife slipped.

    Sounds painful

    Also one time I cut myself with a plastic spoon

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  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I heal really well and have been lucky, so the only scar that’s noticeable is a gas burn along my left index finger from an over heating machine gun.

    I once fell off a low cliff (60 foot maybe?) and didn’t injury myself in any way, but left a Wily Coyote crack in the earth.

    I did once have a purple scar on my right knee from skidding 300 feet down a steep street after a freak skateboard related accident that wasn’t my fault. The road rose up too early as I attempted a Superman. It’s totally gone now.

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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I was playing Manhunt with the neighborhood when I was a kid

    it's like hide and seek tag at night and you get buckwild with the hiding spots

    I was running away, and I go behind some houses and some asshole hung a lawnmower from a clothesline pole and I got clotheslined by it. now I got a cool Han Solo chin scar.

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  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I was sprinting along a boardwalk with my grandfather's dogs in southern england at around age 12. They were running on one side of me and decided that they should be on the other side of me. Solid little dogs as well.
    So I went skidding on cement, and ended up with a gruesome gash on my knee.

    Then a couple months later I was biking in a ravine, skidded on a turn and fucked that knee up all over again.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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  • QuetziQuetzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 10
    One time I lit my face on fire to impress a girl

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