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The crwth Tapestry for Stalin Enthusiasts

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Posts

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    Quetzi on
  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    And what I mean by the fun is that I really love sex very much.

    And what I mean by that I really love sex very much is that I need your social security number and banking information.

    Quetzi on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    Quetzi on
  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I remember getting one where they insinuated they filmed me committing the mortal sin of masturbation and they were going to send it to my entire email contact list if I didn’t send them some bitcoin.

    I did not send them bitcoin

    I got this one, too

    They said they recorded me through my webcam - problem is I don't have a webcam

    Quetzi on
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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    As a child:

    Bruised an eye socket playing catcher and caught a bat to the face

    Broke a collarbone rolling down a hill

    Stabbed in the hand with a pencil

    As an adult:

    Hurt my back waiting in line for a cruise, couldn't walk for most of the cruise

    Hurt my foot by sitting too long on an airplane, had to be pushed in a wheelchair through disneyworld

    Sunburned my entire back kayaking, became lobster-man

    Quetzi on
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited April 10
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    Quetzi on
  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    @mrs. crwth get in here and look at this smut your husband's into

    Quetzi on
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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I have rubbed bitcoins on my junk

    Quetzi on
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  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    HeadCreeps wrote: »
    I remember getting one where they insinuated they filmed me committing the mortal sin of masturbation and they were going to send it to my entire email contact list if I didn’t send them some bitcoin.

    I did not send them bitcoin

    I got this one, too

    They said they recorded me through my webcam - problem is I don't have a webcam

    They couldn’t have caught me. I have never masturbated in my life.

    Ha ha, I mean, yeah, me neither, I was just saying, ha ha, yeah that's crazy :sweat_smile:

    Quetzi on
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  • EtiowsaEtiowsa Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Edcrab wrote: »
    hear me out: asymmetrical FPS game where a couple of sneaky people have to get past a bunch of guards, but the guards are forced to conform to stupid fucking videogame logic unless they catch enough glances of the sneaky types and/or find enough bodies of their comrades to raise the Alarm level, whereupon they are actually allowed to draw their weapons and run instead of walking around slowly with flashlights

    In fact that might be doable as a board game. Requires more thought until I lose interest and go back on my patrol route

    Not quite the same, but there was a mode in MGS 4 multiplayer that was team v team, with someone as snake. The teams did normal shooty stuff while snake snuck around the level knocking people out to steal their dog tags. Was surprisingly fun.

    Quetzi on
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    damn I wish someone would send me an e-mail

    Quetzi on
  • edited April 10
    This content has been removed.

  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Now Tito are you sure Sweet Baby isn't your wife??? Maybe it's a Pina Colada situation

    Quetzi on
    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • edited April 10
    This content has been removed.

  • FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    it would be cool if you played as an actual snake

    Quetzi on
    Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
  • EtiowsaEtiowsa Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    If there were enough player in the lobby, someone could play as a mini RC robot that zoomed around slapping people with an electric whip, so pretty much an actual snake.

    Quetzi on
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I’m terrified of Giant Hogweed

    Quetzi on
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  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    why wouldn’t she just say it to me

    Quetzi on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    spono wrote: »
    @mrs. crwth get in here and look at this smut your husband's into

    no!!!

    Quetzi on
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    HeadCreeps wrote: »
    I remember getting one where they insinuated they filmed me committing the mortal sin of masturbation and they were going to send it to my entire email contact list if I didn’t send them some bitcoin.

    I did not send them bitcoin

    I got this one, too

    They said they recorded me through my webcam - problem is I don't have a webcam

    They couldn’t have caught me. I have never masturbated in my life.

    Yeah, and besides, I only masturbate in front of my mirror, not my webcam

    wait a second, what's behind this mirror...?

    Quetzi on
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  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    Oh you too huh?

    Quetzi on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    I only jerk off in front of large paintings that have had the eyes cut out

    Quetzi on
  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    Oh wow small world

    I only jerk off behind large paintings that have had the eyes cut out

    Quetzi on
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  • QuetziQuetzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 10
    Edcrab wrote: »
    hear me out: asymmetrical FPS game where a couple of sneaky people have to get past a bunch of guards, but the guards are forced to conform to stupid fucking videogame logic unless they catch enough glances of the sneaky types and/or find enough bodies of their comrades to raise the Alarm level, whereupon they are actually allowed to draw their weapons and run instead of walking around slowly with flashlights

    In fact that might be doable as a board game. Requires more thought until I lose interest and go back on my patrol route

    The Burgle Bros board games essentially simulate this sort of movement for their guards, although the guards aren't player controlled, just a machine you play against as the players. But they follow predetermined routes until someone makes a commotion or an alarm goes off or whatever, and then they run to the sound, and then quietly resume their patrol route afterwards, even if the sound was like, someone setting off an explosive and rappelling through a hole in the floor or whatever.

    And once things get sufficiently bad (i.e. once the players start succeeding) they start moving faster or may start directly targeting players instead of following an avoidable route.

    Quetzi on
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Damnit Crwth, that was meant for your eyes only.
    You weren't supposed to share it on the forums.

    Sorry, but you are now out with me. Out with me forever.

    Quetzi on
  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    I have never once jerked off in front of my computer

    Now, if we were talking about jelqing. . .

    Quetzi on
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  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    @crwth did you go to the store yet

    Quetzi on
  • GarthorGarthor Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Don't do it crwth

    it's a DEI trap

    Quetzi on
  • GarthorGarthor Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    They're gonna make you put a black person in an Assassin's Creed game

    Quetzi on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    just got this email

    hu4kstmvui64.jpg

    Quetzi on
  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    IT pro-tip if you get those emails to your work email be sure to reply and let them know you are a business professional with your title and boss' name and title and that you would never give up the company secrets you have access to and they should immediately stop emailing you here and give them your personal email

    Quetzi on
  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    go for it... life's too short...

    Quetzi on
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  • HeavyVillainHeavyVillain Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    HeadCreeps wrote: »
    I remember getting one where they insinuated they filmed me committing the mortal sin of masturbation and they were going to send it to my entire email contact list if I didn’t send them some bitcoin.

    I did not send them bitcoin

    I got this one, too

    They said they recorded me through my webcam - problem is I don't have a webcam

    My mum got one of those emails and she asked me about it and I told her, mum, just stop watching all that porn. Easy fix

    (she doesnt even own a computer and basically only has an email because me and my sisters do)

    Quetzi on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    -Tal wrote: »
    go for it... life's too short...

    hmm

    Quetzi on
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    What if you simply asked for permission

    Quetzi on
    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    wait........ Sweet Baby??

    crwth DON'T DO IT they'll turn you WOKE

    Quetzi on
  • The Lovely KringleThe Lovely Kringle Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Shenron wrote: »
    Plot twist: the sender is Jacobkosh
    It's not a plot twist, he pervs out at chat, it is to be expected

    e4fyr7bt9ijd.gif

    Quetzi on
  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Veldrin wrote: »
    wait........ Sweet Baby??

    crwth DON'T DO IT they'll turn you WOKE

    Somewhere out there is a social media manager for a bbq sauce brand that was initially super happy their name was getting more traction, and then after 20 minutes and the realization sinking in, has been despondent ever since.

    Quetzi on
  • ouzaruouzaru RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited April 10
    The other day I sneezed myself awake and fucked up my neck for like three days.


    Realpost, when I was five my parents took us down to San Diego (me and my sister). They took their bikes, and had these neat little baby seats to attach to the back of the bikes… except they only had one (o forget why) for my younger sister in this trip. So my parents were like “we’re not going far, just put your feet on the bolts and sit still, you’ll be fine” and I was like “this seems dumb as shit and I don’t want to do this” and my dad’s all “oh, we’re doin’ this”.

    We rode about five minutes before my pops hit a bump and my leg went between the spokes and I ended up with a hairline fracture.

    It’s the primary memory that comes to mind when I wonder if maybe my parents do actually know what they’re talking about.

    Quetzi on
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited April 10
    Parents don't know shit and never have

    Quetzi on
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