Unoriginal Original Art...Because I suck at being Original.

XII

Hello there... Some of you may know me from the Comic Battle Forum (where I am known as Einheit12), most of you won't, I guess.
So, I made this Picture... It took me about 22 Hours to make, it started as a plain sketch in Class, I edited it in Photoshop, I forgot it for 2 months and I picked it up again last weekend. I had a pretty hard time correcting the anatomy, and I know it's still not right... But I need to go on, I spend 12 Hours on the Lineart alone.
I would appreciate your comments on it...


You can click on the Image for a larger size version.

EntrY

It doesn't look right with the background. She pops out way too much.

Also, it annoys me a bit that she's off center in the light-circle :S

core tactic

I think she's got sort of a mannish face?

Lly

I'd like to see the linework. Tbh the rendering of the background is just totally distracting and detracting from the piece because the style is totally different from the figure.

Tam

The environment is almost completely grayscale, which makes her red dress stick out like a sore thumb. It would have been one thing if you'd made the leggings and the arm-ings(?) red as well, but right now, the obviousness of the red just makes the torso too obvious.

core tactic

The more I look at it, the manlier she seems to me.

Novus

I really like it; but her legs and left arm are way too long. Her crotch looks like it would right near the bottom center of the white X belt, which would mean you've drawn her knees where her shins should be.

srsizzy

Well, I'm kind of surprised no one has asked/brought up the things I'm about to say.

How was the background made? Photo collage? I can see some shapes, but the background is way realistically rendered, and then the figure is just a cartoony anime character with weak coloring/shading and very few details. If you took away the background I would have thought this was a sketch. Line work for a figure like that shouldn't be taking you 12 hours. Maybe it's because you haven't done a lot of practice inking digitally, but that just seems like a lot of time.

How much digital practice do you have under your belt? The coloring of the figure could use some work, but some of that relies on the detail of her. You need folds in clothing, something more dynamic. The figure alone is really bland, just standing there. You have all these floating lights but you made them all white, and the shading on her form doesn't completely correspond with them. If you have a figure just standing there, make the lighting more dynamic, like a dark room with just floating lights would actually look like. Think of or even watch movies (scary movies work, but others as well) to see scenes where the lighting affects the mood of everything, and the color as well.

Your anatomy isn't that bad, but I'm guessing some of that 12 hours was from fixing/drawing it. I'll just say that anime isn't the best way to go when practicing, and you should work more from life and then your style will just develop.

So, I'm really curious how you made the background. The figure shows that you don't have a ton of experience with digital coloring, but then the background looks like some 3d rendered abstract piece. Looking at it now, it looks like over-layed images and such. Am I right?

Sorry if this sounds harsh at all, I'm just trying to help.

[edit] I saw your coloring on the battle forums. Not half bad, but could use some work. In some places it's really good, in some places sketchy. I would know better if I saw like a fully digital finished piece or something, which I this is supposed to be I guess, so most of my advice still stands.

anable

Ah...I guess consider me an anime fanboy or some such because I really like the picture.

Not to say that the all of critiques are invalid, but I don't think you're getting enough credit for how clean piece is. I also think the inking is very well done. The contrast between the character and the background doesn't really bother me because it seems like a desktop background picture almost. The spell effect thing is sweet action too.

Wilhelm_III

core tactic wrote: »

The more I look at it, the manlier she seems to me.

How can you even tell with anime? They all look like chicks... Even the guys. Usually I go by if they're wearing a dress or not to tell weather they are male or female (unless the have noticeable boobies).

Over all, I'd say I love what you did with the background, but the character being off-center of the ring and the stark contrast of her dress with the rest of the room (too bright, not enough shadow) and the fact that there is so much detail going on in her surroundings and she's so... Simple throw it for me. Over all better then 50% of what's out there though.

Iruka

I like the picture over all, but I find the white dots size and intensity distracting. I also feel the picture could easily be cropped on the sides to focus in on the Char alittle more. The bg is interesting, but you could lose a bit of it.

Johannen

Really Really good background and everything, just a bit of a poor show on the actual girl in comparison.

WastingPenguins

core tactic wrote: »

The more I look at it, the manlier she seems to me.

It drives me nuts when people offer "looks too manly" as a critique, offering suggestions on how to make a face more feminine. Go look around, guys. A lot of women have "masculine" features.

Anyway, I'll just echo what everyone else has already said-- the contrast between the character and background styles is jarring. Also, lose the anime face.

Johannen

I think it's just that the dress is way too simple in comparison to the surroundings. It feels as though the girls been superimposed onto an image really obviously. The face is anime'ish and doesn't suit the surroundings, and the colours and detail of her generally don't fit the work that's been put in on the really impressive looking background.

Hellbound 17 1/2

Overall, I think this has a lot going for it. However, there's something screwy going on with the depth in the background. It's hard to connect the edges/shapes in it. For example, take a look at the region I circled in the picture. The edges shown below the white dot don't match up with those at the top. It kind of makes for an impossible object illusion.

Johannen

I think those runed symbol bars are meant to be coming from the bottom of the balls of light, although I may be mistaken.

Hellbound 17 1/2

I think you're right, but the extra edges next to the runes still make things visually confusing - especially when the rune-lines continue edges in the scene (as is the case with the far right set of runes). I think the picture would work better without the lines next to the runes.

XII

Thanks a lot for all your Comments. I tried to do as much as possible to get rid of the mistakes you pointed out (manly face excluded, I can't do anything about it; "don't do manga style" excluded, as it is the style I like most, and it's not as if it's the only way I draw. It's just the way I enjoy most. But that's a different topic.)
So, I tried to fix this and that, not all of it really worked. I probably still need too add more detail to the figure.

As to the Question how the Background is made and why it differs so much from the style of the figure:
I have a different approach at backgrounds. I cell-shade figures when doing Manga-Style works while I use an acrylic painting style of approach on backgrounds. I use photo textures to give the surfaces more structure.

117Lei

Wilhelm_III wrote: »

core tactic wrote: »

The more I look at it, the manlier she seems to me.

How can you even tell with anime? They all look like chicks... Even the guys. Usually I go by if they're wearing a dress or not to tell weather they are male or female (unless the have noticeable boobies).

Over all, I'd say I love what you did with the background, but the character being off-center of the ring and the stark contrast of her dress with the rest of the room (too bright, not enough shadow) and the fact that there is so much detail going on in her surroundings and she's so... Simple throw it for me. Over all better then 50% of what's out there though.

Is a guy.

The lesson is, always be skeptical. Always be afraid.

Iruka

Its fine to like manga, I would look into some different styles and keep looking at real faces though. Everything isn't lined up quite right and there are stylized solutions for approaching mouths and noses that could help you here. As of now they are practically non existent, and its making for blank, shadowless space, which is not really pleasing as a face, especially in your more rendered BG.

I like the new crop, I still think the white dots are too bright.

Discordian 23

I like the revised one, but the lighting is off on the figure. On her body, the lighting is mostly shown on the sides, yet the runes coming down from the light orb is in front of the sword she is holding, indicating the light source is in front of her. This is further compounded by the lack of shading on her face. Also it seems like there should be some lighting on the figure from the top most orb, it is casting light in the room, but not on her.

Johannen

Muchos muchos improvement, I like how it blends a lot better now. One thing you could try is to make her skin a little less pale and have the light source having a more noticeable effect.

padmeamanda

The collar doesn't seem right to me... it's too stiff and too close to her neck. I guess it could work if it's supposed to be that small, but somehow it seems disproportionate.

Also, she does seem to pop out from the background as if she doesn't exist in the environment. This is probably a combination of lighting and textures. The background is more realistic and grimy and she is more cartoony.

I do love the background though, but it detracts from the character because it seems to be more realistic and detailed.

ArtisticSlaughter

Hellbound,

hahaha... you don't know what you're talking about... The only thing that's off from the depth is the swirling lights in the foreground... If you can't get that through your monkey skull... then don't critique...

thanx

Hellbound 17 1/2

ArtisticSlaughter wrote: »

Hellbound,

hahaha... you don't know what you're talking about... The only thing that's off from the depth is the swirling lights in the foreground... If you can't get that through your monkey skull... then don't critique...

thanx

Wow, that's a little hostile. I thought the point of a critique was to give one's impression on how a work looks, what's working with it, and what's not. That was mine. :P

Anyway, I think the walls look great now. They're much easier to read. I'm looking forward to seeing more work from you.

XII

Once again, thank all very much for your comments.
I have changed a few things about the picture, primarily the face, as I didn't quite like it as it was.
This is the last version, as I need to go on and not get stuck on this picture any longer.

Strayth

She's resting her palm on the hilt, I see, but can't tell where or how it's strapped to her hips. If it isn't strapped to her hips, I don't think anyone would be 'comfortable' holding a sword like that, and she sure doesn't look alert.

Even animated / simulated life images should seem life-like, and that does count even for animated / sequential art. She looks like she's a little off balance, and from what I'm seeing it looks like the sword she's holding. If it was a very light sword (or -saber), I'd probably recognize that it's supposed to be light.

Also match up the light sources. She's being illuminated from close, intense light. This should, if nothing else, put some deeper contrast closer to the bulges (more than just the two) on her body.

Good luck for next time; it looks like you know the tools, but you just need to single out specific shapes in relation to each other, you know? Even with something simple as a pencil you'd need to establish the deeper surfaces against the nearest major light source. With circular warm light and all that, the part of her (and other nearby shapes) that's farthest away should definitely be cooler-shades, if not just simple gray shade.