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Requesting a comic critique (HijiNKS Ensue)

145679

Posts

  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited October 2007
    The only funny you lose is that he is going to crotch himself with the speed he is going in the first one.

    You hate to miss a good "crotching" opportunity. I'll try harder next time.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • teamquigganteamquiggan Registered User
    edited October 2007
    The only funny you lose is that he is going to crotch himself with the speed he is going in the first one.

    You hate to miss a good "crotching" opportunity. I'll try harder next time.

    The bubble through the portal more then makes up for it!

    teamquiggan on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited October 2007
    I forgot to follow up on that commissioned banner I was doing. Here's the final result.

    banner.jpg

    I tried to fix some of the building proportions. Im sure there's still much to be desired but this was a good learning experience.

    Couple of updates:

    Here's the last apple insider comic:

    ai-comic-no2-071019.gif


    And here's the most recent HE's

    2007-10-22-guitar-hero-3-devil.jpg


    2007-10-25-dumbledore-gay-harry-potter.jpg


    I will probably be posting some shirt designs up here for critiques in a few days.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Canada is 1337Canada is 1337 Registered User
    edited October 2007
    It may be just me, but I think the GH comic would be funnier without the "Oooh...can we do one of each?" line. Also, the disco background looks a little out of place...

    Nitpicking aside, I enjoyed these.

    Canada is 1337 on
  • anableanable Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I chuckled at the innuendo in the first panel of the last comic. I also have the sense of humor of a five year old.

    anable on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    I think the second panel of the dumbledore comic is one of the best you've done in terms of set up and writing.

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    The inconsistancy of the contours is throwing me a little, but it's looking good so far.

    Heartlash on
    My indie mobile gaming studio: Elder Aeons
    Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited October 2007
    @Canada
    With the "oooh" line I was trying to convey that not only was Josh not worried about losing his fingers, but actually enthusiastic about the terrible replacement hands. The disco seemed necessary to show that they were in a disco. Glad you liked them overall.

    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    @Mars
    Thanks! a lot of people are commenting on the triceratops things. I guess that struck a chord.

    @Heartslash
    Which are you referring to?

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • anableanable Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    I was literally in tears in the theater while watching Super Bad because of their 10 minute penis joke.

    anable on
  • Canada is 1337Canada is 1337 Registered User
    edited October 2007
    @Canada
    The disco seemed necessary to show that they were in a disco.

    I agree, I meant that the disco panel looks like a photo with a filter applied.

    Canada is 1337 on
  • r-jasperr-jasper Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    anable wrote: »
    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    I was literally in tears in the theater while watching Super Bad because of their 10 minute penis joke.
    i don't think there was a dry eye in the house! :P

    then at the end i stayed back with my eyes glued to the screen as all the dick-creatures flashed up with the credits :P

    r-jasper on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited October 2007
    r-jasper wrote: »
    anable wrote: »
    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    I was literally in tears in the theater while watching Super Bad because of their 10 minute penis joke.
    i don't think there was a dry eye in the house! :P

    then at the end i stayed back with my eyes glued to the screen as all the dick-creatures flashed up with the credits :P

    "Like 8% of kids do it."

    I used to draw giant penises destroying Tokyo. One time I drew one on a friends whiteboard in college. then his mom came to visit. We forgot to erase it.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    r-jasper wrote: »
    anable wrote: »
    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    I was literally in tears in the theater while watching Super Bad because of their 10 minute penis joke.
    i don't think there was a dry eye in the house! :P

    then at the end i stayed back with my eyes glued to the screen as all the dick-creatures flashed up with the credits :P

    "Like 8% of kids do it."

    I used to draw giant penises destroying Tokyo. One time I drew one on a friends whiteboard in college. then his mom came to visit. We forgot to erase it.

    Did she critique it?

    MKR on
  • r-jasperr-jasper Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    r-jasper wrote: »
    anable wrote: »
    @anable
    Is that more of a dig at your sense of humor or mine? A good dick joke is a good dick joke either way.

    I was literally in tears in the theater while watching Super Bad because of their 10 minute penis joke.
    i don't think there was a dry eye in the house! :P

    then at the end i stayed back with my eyes glued to the screen as all the dick-creatures flashed up with the credits :P

    "Like 8% of kids do it."

    I used to draw giant penises destroying Tokyo. One time I drew one on a friends whiteboard in college. then his mom came to visit. We forgot to erase it.
    i did a massive dong mural in my mates school diary and his mum got really shitty with me. :/

    r-jasper on
  • Big Luke NastyBig Luke Nasty Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I love the touch with the rainbow disco ball.

    "Headmaster"...brilliant.

    Big Luke Nasty on
    rawr
  • artnutzartnutz Registered User
    edited October 2007
    I like this comic! It's funny and fun.

    artnutz on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    @MKR
    She told me to draw from life and work on varrying line widths.

    @r-jasper
    "Massive Dong Mural" is the name of my new band. Weird coincidence.

    @Big Luke
    Thanks! Glad you liked it. Wasnt able to put the rainbow disco ball on the shirt because it was too many colors.

    @Artnutz
    Thanks! Fun is what its all about.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    2007-11-01-saw-4.jpg

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2007
    @Mars
    Thanks! a lot of people are commenting on the triceratops things. I guess that struck a chord.

    For me it was primarily the line "She didn't commit to the idea enough to put it in the books. It's an insult." I thought you had a really good point driven home by a really solid joke =D

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • r-jasperr-jasper Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    hahaha. thread is the best EVER! :P

    r-jasper on
  • KublaKhanKublaKhan Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Don't normally post 'round these parts, but wanted to drop in and say I love the comic, saw it here and went to your site. I am now committed after your most recent comic to make double ties a fashion trend by May 2008.

    Good luck!

    KublaKhan on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    @Mars
    Thanks for the honest crit.

    @jasper
    Im enjoying it too.

    @kubla

    I actually forgot to post that comic. Here it go:

    2007-11-05-save-dollhouse.jpg

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    New one about the writer's strike and Heroes' recent suckage:

    2007-11-08-heroes-writers-strike.jpg

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Canada is 1337Canada is 1337 Registered User
    edited November 2007
    How can they stop Dollhouse from being cancelled in the future when it's already happened there?

    Canada is 1337 on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    How can they stop Dollhouse from being cancelled in the future when it's already happened there?

    I know its not totally clear. Dollhouse hasnt been cancelled yet. They havent even started production or filmed 1 scene. The idea is that just because its Joss Whedon and Fox it WILL be cancelled. So they travel into the future (when the shows already in production) and try and stop it from happening.

    Then Biff gets a sports almanac and everything goes to crap.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Keeping this to the point:

    You need to let your punchlines stand.
    punch.jpg

    this is a better comic because on the third panel, I'm laughing hard. What you're doing is making me stop laughing so you can give me a wall of text to explain the punchline. Anyone reading your comic gets that Saw sucked. If you try to add more and don't end on the punch, you weaken it.

    Go watch Some Like It Hot. They spend most of the movie setting up one joke at the end, and when they hit the punch, bam the movie ends. It's perfect.

    NotASenator on
  • XerusXerus Registered User
    edited November 2007
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Keeping this to the point:

    You need to let your punchlines stand.
    punch.jpg

    this is a better comic because on the third panel, I'm laughing hard. What you're doing is making me stop laughing so you can give me a wall of text to explain the punchline. Anyone reading your comic gets that Saw sucked. If you try to add more and don't end on the punch, you weaken it.

    Go watch Some Like It Hot. They spend most of the movie setting up one joke at the end, and when they hit the punch, bam the movie ends. It's perfect.

    I agree with this post, ;D Ending the comic there makes the punch line great. Adding more text after it kills it. Its a mistake that about 90% of webcomics make every day on the intertubes.

    Xerus on
  • Canada is 1337Canada is 1337 Registered User
    edited November 2007
    How can they stop Dollhouse from being cancelled in the future when it's already happened there?

    I know its not totally clear. Dollhouse hasnt been cancelled yet. They havent even started production or filmed 1 scene. The idea is that just because its Joss Whedon and Fox it WILL be cancelled. So they travel into the future (when the shows already in production) and try and stop it from happening.

    Then Biff gets a sports almanac and everything goes to crap.

    Oh, so they're going back to the future, but not as far into the future as Doc just came from.

    Canada is 1337 on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Somebody on my pownce page linked you because you put up his remix.

    NotASenator on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited November 2007
    @Notacrook and Xerus

    I see what you mean. Sometime I am a slave to the 4 panel framework that I've decided upon. I added all the text to the end because I wanted to show how Joel didn't really process (or care about) what just happened. I was going for more of a dry humor type gag than a "punch line." Youre right though. It does work great with just the 3 panels. Maybe even the 4th panel with no text at all.

    @Canada
    Yeah time travel is too confusing.

    @Notacrook
    Who are you on Pownce? im sure that was Ben C that posted it. I should have the new remixes posted soon.

    Here's todays comic:

    2007-11-12-hacked-iphone.jpg

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Hahahah you actually drew Johnny Five in the last panel

    I love you forever


    (And did you mean barber's pole?)

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    It was Ben C.

    I'm ZeroAltitude on pownce. It's the name of my studio.

    NotASenator on
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited December 2007
    I haven't update here in a while. I've been tied up with side projects and such.

    Here's the last few comics.

    Lego Requiem for a Dream
    2007-11-19-lego-requiem-for-a-dream.jpg
    Happy Thanksgravy!
    2007-11-24-thanksgravy.jpg
    The OLPC
    2007-11-26-olpc.jpg
    Doug Morris, CEO of Universal Music Group is retarded.
    This one got a lot of attention thanks to a boing boing link and a front page Digg. I got a lot of great comments and emails. The former CEO of MP3.com and Linspire emailed me with his thoughts on the matter. Pretty cool.
    2007-11-29-doug-morris-universal.jpg
    Reaction to 2 girls, 1 cup
    2007-12-03-2-girls-1-cup.jpg
    Google Android is the Terminator
    2007-12-06-google-android-terminator.jpg

    Wow, that was more than a few. Where have I been?

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    hahahaha, that last one is absolute gold man.

    You are on my comics to read list now.

    NotASenator on
  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Two girls one cup is great (the comic, not the actual meme)... also, lego Requiem rocked my world. I'd so play that game in a heartbeat....

    amateurhour on

    Arch wrote: »

    I never expected this burn from captain bushmeat
  • webguy20webguy20 Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Alright I havent read the entire thread yet, but for the love of god on the website PLEASE put a first and last comic button. having to click previous 80 billion times is not fun, good thing the comic makes up for it.

    webguy20 on
    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited December 2007
    @notacrook
    Glad you liked it. I was worried that one had too many references to make any sense (but I laughed).

    @amateurhour
    thanks for check them out. I was pretty happy with the Lego one myself.

    @webguy
    There is a "first" button in the secondary navigation below the comic. I know its hard to see. I have MAJOR changes planned for the layout of the site but Im waiting for the template's creator to make some changes. I use the wordpress theme "Comicpress," which is fantastic. The author has promised some changes that I dont think I could code on my own.

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hijinksensuehijinksensue Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Wanted to get you guys' feedback on this as well. I posted this on my site and Im looking for some advice.

    If you’ve been reading HE for a while you no doubt have noticed that I play with the character designs pretty often. The truth is, I am still trying to settle on a style that I am happy with. The comic is young, and these are care free, experimental times so I’ve just been having fun with it. Well, that’s over. It’s time to grow up, get serious and start drawing my silly cartoons consistently like a man.

    The top row in the image below shows the direction I am leaning towards. The bottom row are pretty realistic caricatures of me, Josh, and Eli. I drew them from photos then used them as templates to “cartoonify” the characters.

    You will probably at least see the new style (top row) on the next comic. Whether or not it sticks will depend on how pleased I am with it and certainly on your feedback. This is a pretty important decision for me so any thoughts good or bad would be appreciated.

    UPDATE:
    Since I’m getting some confusing feedback, I assume I wasn’t clear. The TOP row is what I plan to use. The bottom row is the more realistic caricatures that I used for reference. I just posted those so you could see where I was coming from. The top row is close to the style I have been using lately, but more defined. Does that change anyone’s suggestions?

    2007-11-29-character-study.png

    hijinksensue on
    HijiNKS Ensue
    geek comic
    www.hijinksensue.com

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The boards here don't use HTML code, dude.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    They both look the same, there's no remarkable difference between the two styles.

    MagicToaster on
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