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Those Enzyte Commercials
DarkPrimus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So there was an ad on for those "natural male enhancement" pills.
The Enzyte ones are the variety with "Bob", that ever-smiling guy who goes around doing activities that are suggestive while his neighbors look on jealously.
And the ad says you can get a free "Smilin' Bob" t-shirt if you call. Man, it's so cheesy I'm almost tempted to see if I can get one. But I suppose you have to prove you have "E.D." first or something.
The Enzyte ones are the variety with "Bob", that ever-smiling guy who goes around doing activities that are suggestive while his neighbors look on jealously.
And the ad says you can get a free "Smilin' Bob" t-shirt if you call. Man, it's so cheesy I'm almost tempted to see if I can get one. But I suppose you have to prove you have "E.D." first or something.
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"Like...like this?"
"No, on the part you speak into."
"Oh, OK. How about now?"
"There you go. OK, sir, luckily for you, you do qualify. Actually...with that size, we might as well give you two."
Wait, who speaks in to their penis?
Is that what those commercials are for?
They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.
The part of the phone you speak into.
Yeah, I assumed as much, but I still didn't know what the fuck it was for.
"I'm not an actor, and I'm not telling you to buy Represtrinal VX, what I am saying is to ask your doctor if Represtrinal VX might be right for you."
Represtrinal VX side effects include possible diziness, nausea and penis implosion.
And now that you know what then? Cuz they give discounts on bulk orders. PM me if you wanna figure something out.
OH NO THAT'S NOT AWKWARD.. OH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH
priapism is scary
Okay but we have to use your credit card.
and she's all "yeah you don't have that problem you don't even last five minutes"
stupid bitch
Yeah, getting a massive erection from those commercials while sitting right next to your friend's 13-year-old daughter is not something you want your friend to see.
I just kind of froze, waiting to laugh and watching how he'd respond. He looked back, saw them, saw me frozen about to crack the fuck up and blurted out, "I just requested the sample, man, and they keep sending me bottles of them! Serious!"
I fucking lost it right then. Yeah. These guys just keep accidentally sending you three big fucking bottles of dick pills. Whoooops.
At least you can blame it on the commercials this time.
i call him "Boner Johnson"
and i was watching it with a buddy of mine and he's like "man, please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is like subtly racist and propagating the japanese men have tiny dicks stereotype."
and you know
i didn't really think about it till he pointed it out
So he keeps them in his car. You know, just in case.
Like, not a nature scene or a giant boner looking tree or rock or the washington monument or something
a god damned formula one car
I just love the implication
asians have smallers penises than most other races on average :arrow:
I always found that commercial odd fucked up too. The big American dong walking in to the meeting showing the little wangs what's what.
yeah
i didn't even notice it till it was pointed out to me and then i was like "huh, that seems screwy."
One of my friends actually convinced this really gullible guy that this was actually true for about 2 weeks until he asked one of his Asian girl friends.
I listened to the conversation and couldn't stop laughing the whole time.
The same guy also managed to convince him that cock-fighting didn't involve roosters, but rather penises.
The story went that the "art form" originated in Russia, where guys would have their hands tied behind their backs and the battle would begin. Also, there was a sort of coat of armor for the little guys, consisting of razor blades tied on to inflict damage.
Oh I would have loved to have seen that conversation.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
i wouldn't let him near children myself
He's probably loaded and every woman he meets assumes he has an enormous penis. How bad can his life really be?
Those commercials are still much better than those commercials for that other shit where it's an old guy in a bar, he looks at some hot twenty-something, nods to the exit, then they walk out together. Then the bitch is like all excited he's gotta use dick pills.
Edit: Oh wait, I thought Enzyte was a penis enlarger.
i'm thinking comrade thinks bob is dreamy
not quantity
that'd be neat
a quantity of penises
Oh Bob, give me your big boost of confidence!
[/homoeroticism]