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How would YOU handle this?

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    AurinAurin Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    At least Cowmeet will be the one driving, little more control of the situation at least.

    I definitely would be cautious though, who knows if he'll fly into a blind rage when he sees you. :P

    Aurin on
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    cowmeetcowmeet Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Fawkes wrote: »
    cowmeet wrote: »
    I never really planned on going out with sarah, but she is nice to be around and a good friend, I might have dated her before she cheated, but not now. She does flirt with other guys in front of her boyfriend now, even with me, literally 5 feet away from matt, and during that ive looked at matt with the, "Dude control your girl" face, and he said "don't worry about it man".

    ...and the Total Lack of Self Awareness oscar goes to...

    Considering the circumstances, perhaps you should find a mirror and work on your 'Dude control yourself' face before you go having opinions about how this girl or your mate should behave.


    We were under the influence. Shit happens.

    cowmeet on
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    KingMooKingMoo Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    cowmeet wrote: »
    Fawkes wrote: »
    cowmeet wrote: »
    I never really planned on going out with sarah, but she is nice to be around and a good friend, I might have dated her before she cheated, but not now. She does flirt with other guys in front of her boyfriend now, even with me, literally 5 feet away from matt, and during that ive looked at matt with the, "Dude control your girl" face, and he said "don't worry about it man".

    ...and the Total Lack of Self Awareness oscar goes to...

    Considering the circumstances, perhaps you should find a mirror and work on your 'Dude control yourself' face before you go having opinions about how this girl or your mate should behave.


    We were under the influence. Shit happens.

    lot's of things happen under the influence that should never happen. and no, it's not an excuse

    KingMoo on
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    !!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
    of doom
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    BokiBoki __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    cowmeet wrote: »
    Fawkes wrote: »
    cowmeet wrote: »
    I never really planned on going out with sarah, but she is nice to be around and a good friend, I might have dated her before she cheated, but not now. She does flirt with other guys in front of her boyfriend now, even with me, literally 5 feet away from matt, and during that ive looked at matt with the, "Dude control your girl" face, and he said "don't worry about it man".

    ...and the Total Lack of Self Awareness oscar goes to...

    Considering the circumstances, perhaps you should find a mirror and work on your 'Dude control yourself' face before you go having opinions about how this girl or your mate should behave.


    We were under the influence. Shit happens.


    That is bullshit. I guess you got under the influence with her knowing full well shit would happen. You're starting to just come off as a douche who wanted to sleep with his best friend's girl.

    Boki on
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    cowmeetcowmeet Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Boki wrote: »
    cowmeet wrote: »
    Fawkes wrote: »
    cowmeet wrote: »
    I never really planned on going out with sarah, but she is nice to be around and a good friend, I might have dated her before she cheated, but not now. She does flirt with other guys in front of her boyfriend now, even with me, literally 5 feet away from matt, and during that ive looked at matt with the, "Dude control your girl" face, and he said "don't worry about it man".

    ...and the Total Lack of Self Awareness oscar goes to...

    Considering the circumstances, perhaps you should find a mirror and work on your 'Dude control yourself' face before you go having opinions about how this girl or your mate should behave.


    We were under the influence. Shit happens.


    That is bullshit. I guess you got under the influence with her knowing full well shit would happen. You're starting to just come off as a douche who wanted to sleep with his best friend's girl.


    I had no intention of this happening. There were other people at the house, I drank socially, and eventually down the line some things happened. It's not like I had a plan to sleep with her nad ruin two friendships, come on i'm not THAT stupid.

    And yeah I am coming off a little harsh, ill calm down a bit, and I know it's not an excuse, I wouldn't use it as a legit one but in this case it had a big impact on the situation.

    Ive stopped drinking to get drunk since then, ill just play beruit and that's about it.

    cowmeet on
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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Look...let's stop judging him. He asked for advice so I think the best advice to say is:

    1) Don't trust that Mike isn't pissed because it's abnormal and inhuman to not be pissed beyond repair for this.

    2) Decide if you really want Sarah or not or you want to try to rebuild the relationship with Matt (if that's even possible, which I doubt), or if you want to just wash your hands of them both.

    3) Don't judge her poorly for cheating on you because that's all kinds of fucked up. "Wow, she cheated, so I could never be with her." I'm not even going to get into how wrong a scarlet letter judgment of someone is, but when that person cheated with you it is pretty much nonsense.

    Drez on
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    FristleFristle Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    Well in the case of this thread, I wouldn't date this girl, or even remain friends with her. She doesn't seem like a good person, though the OP ain't much better for screwing his best friends girl.

    And I don't understand why making a personal choice not to date someone who has cheated on someone is such a bad thing VC, but I don't want to take this any more off topic then it already is. You can date whoever you want, I prefer not to date women who have cheated on previous people they dated and caution others not to do the same. I can't see how that is bad advice considering personally knowing many guys who dated women who cheated and shockingly enough they got cheated on. I know anecdotes does not equal data, but I don't know many people who base their advice purely on data.

    I've been there. I won't go so far as saying cheating makes you a bad person. But people have relationship patterns. That's how people are. I hooked up with this girl once, who happened to be cheating on her current boyfriend for a few days, until she decided I was her boyfriend. We were doing great until six or eight months later, when she did the same thing to me. I'm a statistic. :lol:

    Fristle on
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    desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I don't think its abnormal for the boyfriend to be 'okay' with it at all. Not with the description of the circumstances. It sounds like their relationship is fairly shite, and it sounds like he already knows it but doesn't have the desire or courage to break it off and go it alone. Maybe its a convenient relationship and not love? Maybe that's why the girlfriend 'acted out' with his best friend, to get a reaction that would mean something.

    I don't know. I know a lot of people who are together and aren't in love and don't explode violently when sex happens without them. Maybe they're the same.

    desperaterobots on
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    wenchkillawenchkilla Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    cowmeet wrote: »
    We were under the influence. Shit happens.

    If you are drunk enough to think it's okay to sleep with your best friend's girlfriend, but sober enough to physically be able to have intercourse, the problem is not the alcohol.


    And I think desperaterobots is spot on about Matt not being mad at the OP. At least now he knows this relationship isn't worth continuing. Don't know about the friendship though.


    I think that if he really does forgive you and doesn't make a big deal out of it, be grateful, and your "man to man" talk should be about how you fucked up, NOT about how their relationship is fucked up. Sleeping with his gf and then discussing the finer points of their relationship problems may not be a good idea.

    wenchkilla on
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