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Girly Problems: Yes, THOSE kind.

SkulloSkullo Registered User regular
edited July 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Hey.
As a few of you probably know, my lady came down last week (I had that train thread). Well, everything with that worked out, thankfully, but we've recently come into another problem.
Now, I offer some warning in advance. This thread isn't the type of girl problem that this forum sees often. It's not girl-as-in-relationship problems. This involves that mysterious thing known as "the vagina".

So those not interested in crotch-bleeding, don't continue.

Okay, so, let's cut to the chase. My lady and I had been apart for quite some time, and therefore, not being...intimate. Well, when the oppurtunity arose last Friday, we seized the moment. But, it wasn't like we expected. We both agreed that it felt like the first time (being each other's firsts, we remember this), and that it wasn't right. Now, we thought at first that maybe it was because she had to get used to it again, so she wanted to go on.

After it's over, and I calm her down (she was upset because it didn't well and she wanted it too because we dont get to that often with the long distance etc), we go about the rest of the day.

But later on, she says she's started bleeding. Nothing serious, just a little bit, like the first few times.
We chalk it up to either being spotting (she's just begun the pill), possibly exacerbated by the sex, or just 'first time-esque' stuff.

Well, fast forward a few days, and it hasn't gone away. We asked her doctor and read up on stuff online, and everything says that spotting could last up to a week. But it's consistently gotten heavier (still not like a regular period, but still something to be concerned about), and now she says it's starting to hurt.

So we have no idea. Answers are ranging from a possible Urinary tract infection, to I damaged her, to we just don't understand breakthrough bleeding (spotting).

Anyway, she doesn't handle this stuff well (she's been constantly stricken with health problems this year, so this isn't helping), and since I'm 5 hours away, I'm just trying to figure out as much stuff as I can.

I guess all I'm looking for is some insight, or maybe if this has happened to anyone else? It'd be cool if another lady could offer some help.

I dunno, you guys are good at what you do, I figured you could at least help me get through it.

So, anything?

Skullo on

Posts

  • GorkGork Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    DOCTOR.




    NOW.

    Gork on
  • SlagmireSlagmire Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    DOCTOR.




    NOW.

    Slagmire on
  • SkulloSkullo Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Yeah, don't worry. She's getting checked out and everything (I think as I type this actually). But I'm asking mainly for like, information for ME and stuff. Anything I can do to help, understand, or even just other personal experience stuff.

    I really just don't know what I can do.

    Skullo on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    No offense skullo but you're a dude (right?) and the inner workings of your ladies vagina is best left for her and her doctor. To assuge your fears I doubt your penis did any damage unless your dick is like 14 inches or anything.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    The pill can work you over pretty good, especially if she's just starting it. Do you know what brand she's taking? I have been on several different brands of the pill, and if the estrogen level in the pills is too high or too low, I have all kinds of problems. Also, it's really important to remember to take it at the same time every day (again, especially if she's just starting) to maintain the hormones properly and keep bleeding from starting -- not to say that she isn't, just that she should definitely try to remember.

    Does it hurt all the time, or just when she pees? It could be a combination of UTI and breakthrough bleeding, which wouldn't be at all weird considering the circumstances.

    But yeah, a doctor appointment is the smartest thing, especially if it doesn't wane in the next day or two.

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    First off, what did her doctor say? I would be disinclined to believe anything anyone may post in a forum or on some health website over a doctor's advice. If her doctor can't figure out what is wrong, have him/her refer her to an OB/GYN. This sounds serious and should be pursued by people trained to deal with this stuff.

    UTIs tend to be pretty painful, and it generally starts to hurt before bleeding begins, so it doesn't sound like she has an UTI; if her doctor suspected it, then he would have taken a sample of her urine and tested it for bacteria. The intercourse might have caused tears in the vaginal tissue which might result in bleeding; if it's getting worse, it could be that she's engaging in too much strenuous exercise and exacerbating the wound. Of course, it could also be due to the birth control pills, especially if she isn't taking them on a regular schedule (like if you miss 3 days, it could lead to spotting). One of my doctors told me that she generally budgets about 3 months for a girl to get used to the pills, since different people respond to the hormonal changes differently. One last cause I can think of is psychosomatic. That is, it is due to a psychological source. Your mind can do some pretty harsh things to your body that can't be explained by the current scope of Western medicine. Now, I've never been so upset it made me bleed, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. It's possible the emotional trauma from the intercourse and the anxiety she is feeling about your relationship, plus the stress of her other health problems is causing her body to freak out.

    Anyway, I'm just tossing out some ideas, but you should first and foremost seek the help of a doctor that knows all about "girly problems" :) I hope your girlfriend gets better!

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Skullo wrote: »
    But I'm asking mainly for like, information for ME and stuff. Anything I can do to help, understand, or even just other personal experience stuff.

    I really just don't know what I can do.

    One thing that I have learnt, but am apparently incapable of doing, is not to try and "help" with this stuff. What guys think of as "help" then generally mean "fix" or "actively do something that will make her feel better emotionally". What she might want is for you to be there, be supportive (by not saying anything really, just listening) and be strong. Don't be phased by things, and absolutely don't say you understand. I have found that it's best not to pretend to understand, or if you actually do, pretended that you don't understand. I think it's because people, in general, always want to feel like they are strong people and that the problems that they have are utterly unique and if they were just normal problems like everyone else has then of course they could go through it. Maybe. Anyway.

    I am not a doctor, but it could be any number of things, and I wouldn't be overly concerned. Just listen a lot if your gf gets scared.

    Lewisham on
  • SkulloSkullo Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Yeah, she's only been on it for a few weeks now, and she's been really consistent about timing (if anything, she's been off by a few minutes or so). If knowing the brand will help, I can find that out.

    I believe she said that it only really hurts when she goes to the bathroom, and she said it felt comparable to what it feels like when you get cut by something. The pain also didn't start until around today.

    As I said before, she's getting everything checked out. I can't do anything because I don't live with her, etc.
    But thanks for everything so far, it's really helping me calm down about it. I'm leaving work now though so I won't be able to check in again for a while, but really, thanks.

    EDIT: To Lewisham: Yeah, I know I can't do anything. By help, I did mean "be supportive". But I'd like to be supportive by trying to understand and be able to actually talk to her, besides only saying "I love you" and "It'll be okay". Trust me, I'm not going to barge in and be like "I AM A MAN I CAN HANDLE THIS". Mainly, I want to "be there" as best I can from 5 hours away.

    Skullo on
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    To assuge your fears I doubt your penis did any damage unless your dick is like 14 inches or anything.

    I don't think that's exactly true. If it's an UTI, then what probably happened is that his penis pushed bacteria inside, causing the infection. He can also injure the vaginal tissue if there wasn't adequate lubrication. I mean, you don't have to be like sky-scraper size to injure a girl. But even if it were due to something you did, Skullo, don't beat yourself up over it; you obviously didn't mean to, and it's more important for you to help her deal with this (as you obviously are) and be emotionally supportive.

    Edit: @ Skullo -- hm.. that sounds like a UTI has developed, though it may not be the cause of the bleeding, since you said the bleeding started before the pain. UTIs usually take a couple days to start hurting, but as soon as you think you have one, you need to get antibiotics. There's also medicine to numb the bladder so you don't feel like you need to pee every 5 seconds, and stops it from hurting.

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Skullo wrote: »
    Trust me, I'm not going to barge in and be like "I AM A MAN I CAN HANDLE THIS".

    You're a better man than me then.

    "Hey honey, where did you put my surgical tools? I have a manual right here, you don't need doctors for this."

    Lewisham on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    To assuge your fears I doubt your penis did any damage unless your dick is like 14 inches or anything.

    I don't think that's exactly true. If it's an UTI, then what probably happened is that his penis pushed bacteria inside, causing the infection. He can also injure the vaginal tissue if there wasn't adequate lubrication. I mean, you don't have to be like sky-scraper size to injure a girl. But even if it were due to something you did, Skullo, don't beat yourself up over it; you obviously didn't mean to, and it's more important for you to help her deal with this (as you obviously are) and be emotionally supportive.

    Edit: @ Skullo -- hm.. that sounds like a UTI has developed, though it may not be the cause of the bleeding, since you said the bleeding started before the pain. UTIs usually take a couple days to start hurting, but as soon as you think you have one, you need to get antibiotics. There's also medicine to numb the bladder so you don't feel like you need to pee every 5 seconds, and stops it from hurting.

    Thank you for the information you learn something new everyday!

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    sounds like maybe a small tear inside the vagina, tbh, although breakthrough spotting is certainly possible. Spend longer on foreplay, don't be too rough. She should pee after sex, too, to flush out any skin cells and whatnot that may have gotten pushed into the entrance of the urethra.

    The Cat on
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  • SkulloSkullo Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Hey, just thought I should let you all know that the two of us really appreciate the advice, and we wanted to let you know everything's okay.

    Her doctor got back to her this morning, and he (I know, Gyno-Dude, that must be awkwaaaard) says that as far as he can tell, the bleeding was just breakthrough spotting/reacting to the pills, so he told her to stop those ones and they're giving her different ones. As far as the other stuff goes, no UTI or any other problems like that. What most likely happened was that she involuntarily tensed up (which he said she did during the tests as well), which could have lead to me bruising her, although he says the pain was most likely just another reaction to her pills.

    Anyway, thanks for letting me talk and responding, it really helped me calm down. She appreciates it as well.

    Consider this solved :)

    Skullo on
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