The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.

Family Problems. Help only if you can.

SesphohemeSesphoheme Registered User regular
edited July 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Alright. Thought since I hadn't updated anyone I'd give an update on the baby. AND ask for advice all at once.


first of all. I'm finally a dad. My son is here, but he's not well at all. My girlfriend and I have been doing great lately we tend to little Quinn every waking second. We're trying to deal with the pain of a baby suffering, and it's not easy. He was born July 2nd, at only 23 weeks gestation. His chances of survival the doctors say is slim, but I have faith in my child's strength. He's been mostly sedated since birth. He weighs 1 lb 4 oz. Which is wonderful for a child born as early as he. Unfortunately, his lungs are severely underdeveloped, and he already is having heart problems. We've been told if he survives the next month they will have to preform an open heart surgery to correct a tiny hole in his heart. His condition is still critical, and the status hasn't changed much, but the doctors say it's not time to give up yet.

My girlfriend especially is taking it hard, because she feels that the problems she had carrying the baby are all her fault, and now he may die because of her. I've tried all I know to calm her down, and help to ease her pain and comfort her. The doctors say she may be suffering postpartum depression. Does anyone have any ideas on what I could do to help my girlfriend get through this horrible time in our life together? Also... Prayers for my son Quinton would be much appreciated. Please.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Sesphoheme on

Posts

  • contrabandcontraband Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I lack the wisdom to offer advice to you or your girlfriend, but your son has my prayer. I very much hope that helps.

    contraband on
    sigxw0.jpg
  • kaliyamakaliyama Left to find less-moderated fora Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    if anybody can help, it's not likely you'll find them here - look for specialized forums elsewhere on the web or seek counseling resources through your hospital. i'm sure there are plenty to help you.

    kaliyama on
    fwKS7.png?1
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    She really needs a professional counselor, and to not be left alone to brood - she always needs supportive people nearby, so if you can enlist family to help out, that's a good idea. You can reinforce that its not her fault - these things are well beyond anyone's control. Do so every time she brings the topic up. You and her also need to get enough rest - sleep deprivation will make everything seem much worse and harder to deal with, so make sure you nap regularly even if you don't want to be away from the crib too long. I'm...really not sure what else to add. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope things go well.

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Post-partem depression can be extremely serious stuff. Get this checked out immediately.

    FirstComradeStalin on
    Picture1-4.png
  • powersspowerss Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    First of all, I wish you, your girlfriend, and your newborn son the best.

    My girlfriend's uncle went through something very similar - and now, their child is just amazing at 4 years old. Hang in there, ask a ton of questions, and do a lot of research. Find out about cutting edge therapies and don't hesitate to severely question the doctors on what they're doing and why. Too often people blindly accept their decisions, but don't feel afraid to ask questions.

    Regarding your girlfriend, see if she has any other support "structures" - mother, father, other friends, etc. See if any can fly in for a few days.

    Also, ask the hospital for referrals to therapists etc.

    I wish you all the best of luck.

    powerss on
  • ZeeBeeKayZeeBeeKay Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I would second the advice for therapy -- post partum depression is serious business, and can have devastating consequences. Outside of professional help, keeping a support system near her (and you, I'd imagine it's an incredibly stressful time for you both) would be an excellent idea, as would just continuing to be near her and tell her you love her.

    Congratulations, though, on the birth, and I hope your son is well. Premie babies have much higher survival rates than they used to (though I'm sure you already know that.) Also, anecdotal, but a family friend's son just had twins that were incredibly premature, and had to be in an incubator for a while, and they babies are doing fine now. Babies are rather hardy little things, for how they look.

    I wish for nothing but the best for yourself and your wife, and for little Quinton, too. (He's adorable, assuming that's him in your sig)

    ZeeBeeKay on
  • WerrickWerrick Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Dude, get her some help. There's nothign that we can say here that can help you, you need to get her to see someone who knows what they're doing. Meanwhile, get as much sleep as you can and make sure you're eating properly and regularily.

    Werrick on
    "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."

    -Robert E. Howard
    Tower of the Elephant
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Something very similar happened to my little half-brother, who was born at 2lb even after a normal period of gestation. During labor, my mother's liver failed, and we thought she would have to be medvacced to a city an hour away for a transplant. Somehow, they both pulled through it, and even though it took literally 11 months for my brother to stabilize, they're both alive and well today.

    Trust me. Even when things seem bleak, they can work out. However, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

    Charles Kinbote on
  • locomotivemanlocomotiveman Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I have friends who's daughter was born prematurely 13 years ago and was actually slightly smaller then your son. These days she's a bright young girl who has no developmental issues and is actually a bit larger then most children her age. I can also tell you that my mother was born with a similar heart defect and didn't need to have any sort of heart surgery until she was 45, although of course there was no such surgery avalible for full grown adults let alone children in 1950. He is certainly in my prayers.

    locomotiveman on
    aquabat wrote:
    I actually worked at work on Saturday. Also I went out on a date with a real life girl.


    Can you like, permanently break the forums?
Sign In or Register to comment.