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Eating disorder... do I have one? Or did I have one briefly?
Squirminator2k
they/themNorth Hollywood, CARegistered User regular
they/themNorth Hollywood, CARegistered User regular
Today I looked at myself in the mirror as I got out of the shower and noticed that I'd put on a little bit of weight. It's weight that specifically I have put on since I moved to America. Healthy food just doesn't seem as prominent here, and I'll be buggered if I can find anywhere that sells it.
I looked at myself and I wasn't happy. So I said, "Okay, that's cool, I'll just stop eating for a few days." Then I went to my room, got dressed, sat down in front of the computer and started to write for a while.
Then I realised what I'd said earlier. "I'll just stop eating for a few days." What?! Why did I say that? Why did I even think it? I like to think I'm a smart, rational person, so why did this thought enter my head? Why did I entertain it, and ultimately why did I decide I'd do it?
I am by no means huge. I'm still quite thin by most standards but I have a little bit of a doughy belly that I would like to get rid of. I'm now resigned to losing that dough properly, and I'm going to do it by exercising and by avoiding putting trash in my mouth. But for half an hour my solution, the one that I have accepted as the way to go, was to simply avoid putting food in my mouth altogether. And that worries me.
I looked at myself and I wasn't happy. So I said, "Okay, that's cool, I'll just stop eating for a few days." Then I went to my room, got dressed, sat down in front of the computer and started to write for a while.
Then I realised what I'd said earlier. "I'll just stop eating for a few days." What?! Why did I say that? Why did I even think it? I like to think I'm a smart, rational person, so why did this thought enter my head? Why did I entertain it, and ultimately why did I decide I'd do it?
I am by no means huge. I'm still quite thin by most standards but I have a little bit of a doughy belly that I would like to get rid of. I'm now resigned to losing that dough properly, and I'm going to do it by exercising and by avoiding putting trash in my mouth. But for half an hour my solution, the one that I have accepted as the way to go, was to simply avoid putting food in my mouth altogether. And that worries me.
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Squirminator2k on
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No, you just had a dumb idea. It happens to everybody sometimes.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
My parents, it should be noted, are not thin. Nor is my sister. I'm quite an anomaly in that respect - the Skinny One in the family.
HUH? You can't find healthy food stores in CA?
You don't have a Henry's or Trader Joe's anywhere near you?
Or you any grocery store for that matter?
There's plenty of healthy foods available everywhere.
Health food is easier to find in America than pretty much anywhere in the world, and easier to find in CA than anywhere in America.
An eating disorder is irrational. As in, there's no logical basis behind it. People who have them know that their habits are bad for them, and they know they need to change. But they don't. They're caught up with some notion that what they're doing is helping them achieve something, whether it's a certain waistline, control over their life, or whatever. That ability to step back and say "wtf" is missing, regarding their diet.
So no, you can't even say that it's a weird thought. You were rather shocked to see that you had acquired some fat and you said "hmm, this is from eating. if i don't do that, it'll go away."
As for the healthy/unhealthy thing, the biggest difference isn't that you can't find healthy food in the US, it's that it's easier to find unhealthy foods. Most people who eat healthfully do so by cooking it themselves, of course, so it's not a matter of "finding" it, but of making it.
I put on a good stone or two when I lived in CA.
I don't know where the OP comes from, but as an Englishman I found restaurants drew me in like a moth to a flame. The food in restaurants is much cheaper, often tastier, and you can get a better variety, than places in the UK. It's hard to eat healthy when the food you are making at home costs about the same as going out and having someone else cook and clean for you.
Here's a map of restaurants in your area for you.