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Orgasm Woes
WoefullyInadequate
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
This is an alias, because i'm ridiculously embarrassed about this. If it's against the rules or something just let me know and i'll correct it.
I can't make my girlfriend orgasm.
We've been together for a few months now, and no matter what I do she refuses to burst.
I've been with a few ladies before, and never have I had this problem. I understand not getting an orgasm through intercourse, but cunnilingus has always been enough for me to get a girl to that special spot.
With my current girlfriend, I just can't get it to happen. I've gone down on her many o' times, and i've stayed down there for hours before, so it's not like i'm not giving her enough attention. I've tried everything I know to do, everything that has worked for me in the past, and yet still I get nothing.
Before me she was very inexperienced, she was a virgin and had never received oral sex before, so she's never orgasmed by another's hand before. She has done it herself though, so she knows what shes missing out on.
When I talked to her about it she said it was "fine" and still "felt awesome," but all of this has still left me feeling woefully inadequate. When we are fooling around I can't get it out of my head that i'm not good enough to make her orgasm. This, in turn, affects my ability to do a good job at what I do best.
So, mighty H/A forum, help me out! What can I do to make her show me her "O face?" General advice and jokes at my inadequacy are welcome and appreciated.
I can't make my girlfriend orgasm.
We've been together for a few months now, and no matter what I do she refuses to burst.
I've been with a few ladies before, and never have I had this problem. I understand not getting an orgasm through intercourse, but cunnilingus has always been enough for me to get a girl to that special spot.
With my current girlfriend, I just can't get it to happen. I've gone down on her many o' times, and i've stayed down there for hours before, so it's not like i'm not giving her enough attention. I've tried everything I know to do, everything that has worked for me in the past, and yet still I get nothing.
Before me she was very inexperienced, she was a virgin and had never received oral sex before, so she's never orgasmed by another's hand before. She has done it herself though, so she knows what shes missing out on.
When I talked to her about it she said it was "fine" and still "felt awesome," but all of this has still left me feeling woefully inadequate. When we are fooling around I can't get it out of my head that i'm not good enough to make her orgasm. This, in turn, affects my ability to do a good job at what I do best.
So, mighty H/A forum, help me out! What can I do to make her show me her "O face?" General advice and jokes at my inadequacy are welcome and appreciated.
WoefullyInadequate on
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Why don't you ask her to show you how she masturbates? ;-) It'll be fun for you to watch, and this is a great way to see what she really likes. You say you do what's worked for you before -- but you should probably completely get rid of any previous knowledge you have. Every girl is different, and while some things are the same for some, sometimes everything is completely different.
It's better just to spend time slowly exploring and finding out what works.
And if she doesn't orgasm, don't pressure her, don't treat it like it's a big deal, DON'T even mention it unless she brings it up. If you bring it up, you turn it from a fun experience (even without orgasm) to a way for her to look upon the event negatively.
Stay calm, play safe, have fun!
Also, at the risk of sounding obvious, if you aren't fingering her while you go down on her, it might help to add that to the mix.
Asking what she likes or showing are great ways to get things going. Relaxation like everyone said is also a big issue.
Don't fret just take your time and don't worry about it.
Or rather, only one person can at that point in time, and she happens to be the one right there with you.
You're thinking of this too big picture. You think it's a problem with you, but you also think it's a problem with her. You know your same bag of tricks work on other girls, so why doesn't it work on this one? You think to yourself "hmm, this should work, am I doing something wrong?" But deep down, you're also blaming the girl. Otherwise, when she said things like "it still feels really great," you'd be happy and try something different or finish up and get on with your life.
But there's two things you need to do. One, realize that despite all the tricks and effort, she may still be only to orgasm by her own hand. Two, if you do want to do this for her, you're going to have to work through baby steps.
The first step is to have her orgasm in your presence. Either during intercourse or not, you need to be involved but don't touch her genitals. That's her job. If she can't orgasm with someone else in the room, massaging her and kissing her, then that's the first hurdle to overcome. Then, move on to helping. Have her do 75% of the work while you do 25%, getting a feel for what she prefers when she's doing it herself. See if you can slowly transition over to less her, more you.
You may never be able to get to you doing all of the work, but you're never gonna get there by just banging your head against the wall.
And even though she hasn't came yet, I'm sure both of you have enjoyed trying, no?
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Some girls have to learn to orgasm. I'd suggest a stress free environment, maybe a vibrator (not an intimidating one, just something to place On her, not IN her).
Remember - foreplay is your friend. Sex is just the end.
Just be really attentive and encourage communication, dont sit there puffing away trying to get it done in silence... Ask her what movements she likes, what other areas does she like being touched, sucked, nibbled etc.
Honestly man, just enjoy it. If she's embarrased, just smile and say "Forget it, its still great fun trying!" Talk about it alot. Do you like this? that? It'll happen, but only if you're comfortable with each other.
Your relationship has to be, really, really good. If a person is insecure or uncomfortable in any way (and most women have been this way if they're aren't still), it often can't happen. It's her first time. You're her first. If there are any doubts about anything between the two of you, it'll limit you.
If there is complete and unconditional love between you, you may be able to do it, but even that's no guarantee.
I'm a man, and if my last time with my wife was recent enough, and I feel pressure to come, I usually don't. And I'm a MALE. If it's a woman, God help you both.
You've been here with your relationship issues like myself but do you tell a guy that he can't get you off before you start having sex???
If you guys are very comfortable, and if she can make herself orgasm, tell her to masturbate until climax while you are there. You don't really have to do anything, just be there, maybe sit behind her and let her lay on you. I don't know, you'll have to just be there. IF she can do it with you there, then its good news. If not, i'm not sure where to go from there. If she CAN do it, then next time, have her masturbate and then help her. Don't go down, just use your fingers. You basically want her to get comfortable with you. Keep doing this until it feels BETTER when you're there.
This may not work, but that's how I got my g/f to be comfortable with me. Do NOT fuck around though, b/c she's obviously gonna be extremely vunerable. Just be sensual and don't get in the way in the beginning.
GOOD LUCK
None of your fucking business, off topic, and provides neither help nor advice to the OP. Get out of this thread.