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The Father Thread.
Tiger_ArmyGTR
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My father is a one armed, televangelist who owns 2 used car lots. He lost his arm back when my mom was 7 months pregnant with me because he shot up some heroine that had been cut with baking soda ( the baking soda crystals got lodge in his capillaries and the tissue died from lack of circulation).
My father and i do not get along and have fought quite a bit, which is stupid on his part since all i have to do is stay to his left side (his left arm is the one they had to amputate).
So, ITT tell us about your dad.
My father and i do not get along and have fought quite a bit, which is stupid on his part since all i have to do is stay to his left side (his left arm is the one they had to amputate).
So, ITT tell us about your dad.
Drunkenly pissing on a girl's work clothes is no path to a second date.
Tiger_ArmyGTR on
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Specifically, that Danzig song.
That's a pretty great song.
Three posts in and we are already the cast of fucking LOST
I love my mom.
I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
he could inseminate a piece of coal i swear to god
STOP FUCKING MY WIFE, DAD!
Not crazy, loves his family, an outdoorsman, and has a great job.
His dad, on the other hand, was batshit crazy (and still just as awesome)
Danzig will eat his cereal out of the bottom of your fucking skull.
hahaha i just came in here to post it
*dun dun dunun dun dun dundundun*
not about to see your light
Retired Air Force Lt. Colonel. Was a navigator flying B-52's. A few various helth conditions brought on by military medicine and sitting on top of nukes for more than a decade.
Was never home for long periods of time and worked long hours, so i didnt develop much of a relationship with him. But hes a nice guy and a good person.
Basically if I just do the exact opposite of what he's done I should be ok.
He was the vice president of an electric company before he retired.
You know that movie We Were Soldiers with Mel Gibson? That was my dad's outfit. He left Vietnam a month or so before that battle took place.
My mom is a fundie nutbag.
If Danzig was your dad.
And you'd be all coming home one day from school with some of your buddies and he'd be all trying to show your buddies some new comic he's working on about some demon chick with giant titties adn a huge razor-sharp cock and you're just all jeeeez dad lay off and he's all you call me dadzig, dammit!
true story
that's about all I know of that story, though. no context.
you're not my real dadzig!
That's pretty much my dream father scenario right there...
So you are saying that you fucked your mom and gave birth to you?
weird.
ITT genes get passed down
Is he on those commercials where they say "Eggs are fresher in the country and so are cars" or something like that, selling RVs and stuff in Oregon?
OK whatever - My dad is a perpetually out of work pharmaceuticals chemist who lives in Utah. He is a horrible father, but very good at telling funny stories. Like that one time he got so mad at the neighbors he put dog shit in a pizza box and left it on their doorstep. This is when he was about 30, mind you, not a teenager.
Maybe "sociopathic" is the word I was looking for.
He made sure I knew this early and often.
Even so, bills were paid, food on the table, he always had a job, payments were never late, and he made damn sure that even though his son was a sickly, weakened cripple, that I grew up strong and knew how to be a man.
When I turned 16 he gave me the keys to the muscle car we had been rebuilding, and a pack of condoms.
"Don't fuck up your life with dumb bitches and kids like I did. Wrap your shit or cum in thier mouth."
I have seen pictures of my mom in her 20s, and I don't think it's too creepy to say that I understand how I got here. Also, I have the same name as my father and his father, so yeah, kinda.
Yes, this persona is in some ways based on people I know.
Did it sound any better?
he's taught me a lot
It has always been my favorite
is defender a posting experiment
We are trying to create the most annoying asshole who ever lived by recreating his exact conditions in a VR training simulation.
Steam
it kind of sounds like you are destined to go back in time and become your own dad
He works in the movies as a lighting technician and has worked insane hours my entire life to provide for my family on a single income. He wanted my mom to stay home with my brother and I so we wouldn't turn out all fucked up.
He's a bass player and gets really pot that he buys from UBC botanists who grow it for cancer patients. He gives me so much free weed.
The only negative thing is that he borders on being an alcoholic without actually quite being one. But I think that's because he works too hard.
This weed is so totally pot, man. This is the pottest weed ever.