I believe in the candy bar it is a thing

Metzger Meister

The internet talks about how little variety there is in music today, but he owns every Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance cd. He's burned them, and labeled them things like "Monsters of Metal" or "Metal Masters", ala Harold and Kumar.


The internet also wears silk shirts he bought at the Goodwill and sews designer labels onto them.

tugga

when the internet is bored he goes onto new forums and makes 'Hi, Im new' threads

Skull Man

the internet irons abercrombie and fitch logos onto hanes white t-shirts

Penguin Incarnate

The internet isn't gay. He tells himself this often. Over time he has found that he's been touching himself to the men in the pornography he watches more and more. No matter what, he makes sure that there is at least one female in the movie. That way he knows that he isn't gay. As time goes on he knows that his excuses are becoming weaker and weaker. He likes pornography. But he knows he isn't gay. But he also likes the men and their sleek musculature. There is no accounting for what he feels.

tugga

the internet uses a sharpie to write 'abercrombie and fitch' on hanes white t-shirts

tugga

the internet uses acronyms in day to day speech


(haha my top of the page totally stole that from you)

Skull Man

the internet is currently waging a serious discussion on the wall of a bathroom at a local denny's

Penguin Incarnate

The internet was not raised in one piece. His support structure is this. So when he encounters something weird or something he doesn't understand he does not go to his good friends or some sort of a wise man. Instead he writes off the confusion, gets aroused by the strangeness of it all, and writes a short story about it.

The internet's grammar leaves much to be desired.

Cunty

man i like denny's

i got the hostess's number once

such a win

Metzger Meister

Skull Man wrote: »

the internet is currently waging a serious discussion on the wall of a bathroom at a local denny's

i quite like this one, Skull...



The internet has called the number 867-5309.

The internet has also followed directions on bathroom walls, and was so depressed when he didn't get a blowjob from the person who wrote it that he, very briefly and very seriously, considered slashing his wrists right there in that public park restroom.

tugga

the internet only goes to denny's because he is trying to get this chicks number off the bathroom stall in the mens room

Fallout

oh man these benadryl allergy strips

these are intense

and they actually work omg

Penguin Incarnate

The internet's car is unsafe for highway or street driving.

tugga

are they fast acting

like knock your ass to the floor fast?

tugga

the internets car is a bike with a flat

Penguin Incarnate

The internet's car was borrowed from his mother, but she never signed the pink slip over to him. The registration is two months over do. He figures what the government don't know won't hurt it.

Skull Man

the internet wears a white tank-top and opens the hood of his 92 Camry in his driveway so that "greaser babes" will think he's a "motorhead"

the internet wears several rings that he "boosted" from Claire's

Metzger Meister

The internet wants to purchase a Suzuki Hayabusa and go "balls out", but is so fat that he looks absolutely ridiculous riding anything but a Harley, which he won't buy because one of his mother's boyfriends rode one and fuck that guy, he'll never be The Internet's father no matter what.

Charles Kinbote

The internet attends an Ivy League school, but uses poor grammar because he's always wearing a mask.

Straightzi

The internet is a very contradictory individual.

Fallout

the internet googles "how to talk to girls"

Penguin Incarnate

The internet shits on what he knows is better than himself.

Straightzi

Or rather, full of contradictions. Probably contradictory too though, now that I think of it.

Skull Man

the internet thinks family guy is "brilliant"

150cc

the internet put nitrous on a car he bought once

the car was a chevy astro minivan

Charles Kinbote

the internet is of mixed european heritage, but is mostly irish, french and british

Metzger Meister

The Internet says he loves movies like Citizen Kane because he knows it impresses people, but his favorite movies of all time are all three of the Fast and the Furious movies.

Charles Kinbote

whenever the internet went to a museum as a kid he would start off by spitting spitballs at other kids and end up running around screaming

150cc

the internet's favorite superhero is superman

he tried reading watchmen but "the blue guy was confusing"

Skull Man

the internet takes his dates to the food court

the internet tapes movies off of TNT to watch on dates

the internet's VCR can't fast forward or rewind unless the tape runs out

Charles Kinbote

apparently, the internet is "that guy" in every possible regard

150cc

the internet's favorite dinosaur is a t-rex

he first saw a t-rex in jurassic park

Charles Kinbote

the internet doesn't even know the full name of the t-rex

Skull Man

150cc wrote: »

the internet's favorite dinosaur is a t-rex

he first saw a t-rex in jurassic park

jurassic park 2

150cc

the internet paid for cable in his apartment solely so he could watch "the girls next door"

150cc

the internet has only seen episodes 1-3 of star wars

episodes 4-6 are old, and are therefore likely boring

the internet's favorite character is C-3PO

Charles Kinbote

the internet's myspace has a Vin Diesel background and lots of enormous flashing gifs, and he trainwhores all the time, and makes bulletins like "pc4pc?" or "HEY FRANK!"

Cunty

i am hungry

Penguin Incarnate

Skull Man wrote: »

PI I think yours are pretty funny

do you think mine are pretty funny

Sup.

Metzger Meister

The internet actually pirates cable from the girls next door.