the internet bought a saitek pc gaming keyboard for world of warcraft, but never ended up using the macro board, and now hates it because he can not read the keys in the dark
Cunty on
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
Yes, Skull Man, I agree. I like the cut of your jib.
The Internet washes his mom's hair, because their relationship is "special." He only hopes his first girlfriend can live up to her... The internet is 32.
The internet knows that the road he is on leads to ruin. There is time enough to turn away and find a Better Way-- ah, but fuck it there's a Twilight Zone Marathon on right now.
The internet recalls a time when he was twelve at a public pool. He was swimming around in the middle area-- the area where the pool suddenly drops away and becomes the deep end-- when he spotted a heifer of a high schooler having a malfunction with her bikini top. A gal that should never wear a bikini top, mind you. This is the first live action tit that he's ever seen. On rough days when whatever the German's have thought up this week will not do the job, he thinks back to the magic of that time, of that one afternoon and feels warm and comforted by the innocence of it. Quickly he snaps out of this day dream because he knows that he'd be ritually gang beaten if he ever talked about this memory within ear shot of anyone tougher than him-- which is everyone. So he goes back to whatever porn he recently torrented and works away with that because he knows that there's more message boards backing him up on that one.
dude metz the rest of us are making the internet look like "that guy that you should never be" and here you are making him look like "that pedo that you should never be (in the same state as)"
The internet is not entirely sure what Live Free or Die means, but he is of the opinion that it means he can use the American flag as a cum rag and if anyone complains, they're worse than Hitler.
The internet also knows that in an argument using Hitler is the key to victory.
the internet is going to go roll a bali shag cigarette
wait no that's me
the internet doesn't know how to roll cigarettes, he buys a machine, and all his friends are fine with that but he always sneaks off to use it and then comes back and says "hey guys look at this one I just rolled i dunno i've done better"
Charles Kinbote on
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Forever Zefirocloaked in the midnight glory of an event horizonRegistered Userregular
edited August 2007
The internet is gayer when on forums then it would ever act in real life
Forever Zefiro on
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
the internet thinks welfare should be completely eliminated because those goddamn bums should hurry up and get a job and stop leeching off the smart people
the internet supported the privatization of social security
the internet has some pretty nice Cs, but watches too many porn flicks, and thinks that hers are inferior to "real women"
she is only 17, and is unaware that she will eventually have Ds but they will be saggy and disgusting and she will hate herself always and probably try and get a breast reduction but will get an infection and die
The internet fell asleep once while masturbating. His roommate found him asleep, clutching his now flaccid penis, in front of a computer displaying facebook pictures of these girls who go to class with the internet at the beach.
The internet fell asleep once while masturbating. His roommate found him asleep, clutching his now flaccid penis, in front of a computer displaying facebook pictures of these girls who go to class with the internet at the beach.
ahahahahaha yes thank you
my friends and i use jerkin the gherkin to myspace/facebook pictures as the ultimate in "that guy" behavior
The internet both resents and envies the twenty-year old part timers that work at CompUSA. They are of a magical world that he can never know or understand. One time he attempted to explain this to one of the college students working there that needed a shave. He received a blank look edging on fear. He just looked down, bought his Monster cables and walked out of the store, almost leaving his change in his haste (the internet pays almost exclusively in exact change, having worked out the math ahead of time, he believes that this makes his life easier and more efficient, making him slowly more like an urban warrior like Batman if Batman drove a car out of the darker years of the 70's with an exhaust leak). After getting back home, he treats himself to a glass of Yoohoo and says to himself Those working stiffs! He makes his way through life on a monthly check from the government because he once got nailed by a city bus and was in a coma for two days. He laughs all the way to the bank.
The internet views his brush with the bus as His Big Score.
Posts
STEAM!
The Internet washes his mom's hair, because their relationship is "special." He only hopes his first girlfriend can live up to her... The internet is 32.
man tugga that is just plain cruel
penguin you are posting excellent stuff
STEAM!
STEAM!
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
this is almost too bizarre to have imagined
tugga do you have something you would like to discuss with the group?
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
were brothers
im sorry
STEAM!
I think i fixed it for you...
?
then when people talk about the movies he relates obscure facts about the actors
the internet pees in the sink to save time
the internet never takes out his contacts
warebrothers?
do we turn into brothers at the full moon?
The Internet has also written gay Transformers fan-fics.
Should The Internet be capitalized, like God, or should it just be The internet?
The internet also knows that in an argument using Hitler is the key to victory.
:shock:
have you been stalking me
wait no that's me
the internet doesn't know how to roll cigarettes, he buys a machine, and all his friends are fine with that but he always sneaks off to use it and then comes back and says "hey guys look at this one I just rolled i dunno i've done better"
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
the internet presents jim gaffigan jokes as his own material
the internet tells girls they have "sexy cheekbones" but could not with a gun to his head explain what that means
this reminds me of a story...
and if you knew it you would know why i could never eat at his house again
the internet feels nervous around black people
the internet thinks welfare should be completely eliminated because those goddamn bums should hurry up and get a job and stop leeching off the smart people
the internet supported the privatization of social security
she is only 17, and is unaware that she will eventually have Ds but they will be saggy and disgusting and she will hate herself always and probably try and get a breast reduction but will get an infection and die
also the internet is totally not surprised something like this would happen in a riotcow thread
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
or is that just a fear of yours
ahahahahaha yes thank you
my friends and i use jerkin the gherkin to myspace/facebook pictures as the ultimate in "that guy" behavior
The internet views his brush with the bus as His Big Score.