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Unicru is balls

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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Wiggin: Costumer does not equal customer.

    Oh well shit.
    Still a bad thing.

    Me Too! on
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    PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Filler wrote: »
    Don't ever gis Blueboy.

    If you want to find the painting, gis blue boy.

    Even that gives you a few gay porn pics.

    What is wrong with the internet guys?

    It's just gay porn, I don't see what's so bad about it.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    PotU wrote: »
    Whooops, don't GIS genital warts, guys.

    Nasty stuff I tell you.

    We should put out PSA's about things like that.

    SE++ would like to remind you, please don't GIS genital warts. It will be unpleasant. Thank you.

    Hunter on
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    FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I wish DnD had one when I looked up CBT. D:

    Fellhand on
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    PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Too bad I deleted the video TFS sent me.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
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    FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Alright, nothing interesting so far cleaning this up, just some pet pics. And this, poem I guess you'd call it? I give it a D+.
    May the happy days come again?

    Miss Goldie A. you're so kind to me
    I always fall and you're always there to find me
    Babe I hope you're always mine to ease my mind
    Gal when I'm with you I tend to shine



    You got a nick to keep me on your mind
    Whoever else besides you I walk the other line


    You keep me close when I am blind
    You'll keep your heart wide open all the time
    When you're down you'll still keep your loving taught as a line
    I like and love you all the time

    Fellhand on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited August 2007
    dude, you're going through and posting other people's shit from their computer when they just hired you to clean it up?

    don't be a fucking dickbag. That shit ain't yours.

    Rankenphile on
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    QuadropheniaQuadrophenia Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    denihilist wrote: »
    babies.jpg


    Does that kid have bikini bottoms on? What the hell? Where is that? France?

    Quadrophenia on
    I'm so tired of partying.
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    PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Go to the thread "no real than you are".

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Seriously, it's pretty awesome that that thing is just there, and nobody really gives a shit.

    Me Too! on
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    FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    dude, you're going through and posting other people's shit from their computer when they just hired you to clean it up?

    don't be a fucking dickbag. That shit ain't yours.

    It's not their computer, it's the school's. They aren't paying me for this either. It's no one's personal computer and the person that was returning it told me that other people had used it and wanted it cleaned because she felt there was embarassing stuff on it. Like more embarassing then a dumb poem.

    Fellhand on
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    TxdoHawkTxdoHawk Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    To the Op: It's not hard to pass these things. Just think to yourself: What would my filthy dickbag of a future manager want me to say? Keep the following in mind:

    - You are enthusiastic. Working retail is the most awesome job ever! Woo minimum wage!
    - It doesn't matter if they are stealing an empty box for a temporary home, allowing customers to break store policies is BAD BAD BAD.
    - You aren't a mental case; you don't get angry at customers, or even provide an opinion to them unless explicitly asked.

    This pretty much covers the major points. Just think along these lines.

    TxdoHawk on
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    HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    TxdoHawk wrote: »
    To the Op: It's not hard to pass these things. Just think to yourself: What would my filthy dickbag of a future manager want me to say? Keep the following in mind:

    - You are enthusiastic. Working retail is the most awesome job ever! Woo minimum wage!
    - It doesn't matter if they are stealing an empty box for a temporary home, allowing customers to break store policies is BAD BAD BAD.
    - You aren't a mental case; you don't get angry at customers, or even provide an opinion to them unless explicitly asked.

    This pretty much covers the major points. Just think along these lines.

    But enough of the questions blend caring and store policy in a way where I can't really guess the answers and always fuck up. I get that I don't care about what the customers are like, but I have to be friendly. Do I engage them? Do I bother? Do I get angry with them if they're infringing on policy? Things like that.

    HadjiQuest on
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    JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Unicru sucks ass.

    I have missed half a dozen jobs I was overqualified for because the Unicru scoring system is pathetic.

    It's cold synthetic tastes prefer morons who lack the integrity to answer anything honestly.

    I have come to a conclusion, if the company is using a computer to do it's prescreening for them, they are not worth working for.

    Also, I have to note, that as a former manager of a place that used Unicru, you actually get every application that is submitted, even if it doesn't qualify you under it's scoring system.

    So, there's still a 30% chance, I'd say, that they still actually read your application.

    Jasconius on
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    TxdoHawkTxdoHawk Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    But enough of the questions blend caring and store policy in a way where I can't really guess the answers and always fuck up. I get that I don't care about what the customers are like, but I have to be friendly. Do I engage them? Do I bother? Do I get angry with them if they're infringing on policy? Things like that.

    Policy infringement is always bad. It's not your decision to bend the rules, that is entirely up to your superior.

    Being angry is always bad. You're expected to be 100% cool calm and collected. Avoid answers involving extreme emotional reactions.

    Engaging customers otherwise, good, as long as it's a means to boost sales. You're going to be expected to yap it up with them to tack on extra things like store product warranties.

    TxdoHawk on
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    HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I applied to a kroger (grocery store) via unicru today. There are 3 around here, and that was one that I don't ever really go to (I applied because I wouldn't see anyone I knew regularly). There's another one that's a bit of a drive, but if I have to I'll go and fill out a normal application there in a week or two.

    It's a shame, because I'm going to keep filling these things out since I can do it in down time, yet I'll probably never even get a call back from one.

    HadjiQuest on
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    WerrickWerrick Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Fellhand wrote: »
    dude, you're going through and posting other people's shit from their computer when they just hired you to clean it up?

    don't be a fucking dickbag. That shit ain't yours.

    It's not their computer, it's the school's. They aren't paying me for this either. It's no one's personal computer and the person that was returning it told me that other people had used it and wanted it cleaned because she felt there was embarassing stuff on it. Like more embarassing then a dumb poem.

    What's a dickbag? Is that a bag full of dicks? Is it a bag made of dicks? Some kind of specialty phallus receptacle?

    Werrick on
    "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."

    -Robert E. Howard
    Tower of the Elephant
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    FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Werrick wrote: »
    Fellhand wrote: »
    dude, you're going through and posting other people's shit from their computer when they just hired you to clean it up?

    don't be a fucking dickbag. That shit ain't yours.

    It's not their computer, it's the school's. They aren't paying me for this either. It's no one's personal computer and the person that was returning it told me that other people had used it and wanted it cleaned because she felt there was embarassing stuff on it. Like more embarassing then a dumb poem.

    What's a dickbag? Is that a bag full of dicks? Is it a bag made of dicks? Some kind of specialty phallus receptacle?

    It's negative and that's all the shit I need to know. I'm not that unethical to be a dickbag.

    Fellhand on
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    Why do I always show up as a pedophile on these damn things?

    I say this every time I enter a new internet community.

    Dislexic on
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    OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    what

    kohls isn't classy at all!


    and the only time I had a job that used unicru was when I worked for a grocery store

    Okami on
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    wavy gravywavy gravy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I filled out an online application for CVS and got hired the next day, I apparently scored 98% on the stupid unicrew test. New applicants have their applications faxed through the pharmacy for some reason, that's where I work. I get to see so many peoples scores, but then again they only fax those who scored 80 or above I believe.

    Someone told me that a main determining factor in how you do is placed within the speed in which you answer questions. I remember doing mine when I was pissed off, every question was answered within 10 seconds. If I were you Hadji, I would blow through the next one I take.

    wavy gravy on
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    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    And rememeber when this comes up;

    On the weekends, I relax by enjoying underage sex with prepubescent children:

    Strongly Agree
    Agree
    Disagree
    Strongly Disagree


    You gotta choose strongly disagree.

    That's how they're finding out man.

    Filler Inc. on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    then he would be a pedophile without a hint of doubt in him

    thats worse

    Faricazy on
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    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    then he would be a pedophile without a hint of doubt in him

    thats worse

    He's a strong willed pedophile with what it takes to make decisions and never look back

    Filler Inc. on
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    "Well Jim you consistantly make bad decisions."

    "But what impresses me is your strong will and desire to see everything through. I mean god man, when you fuck up you really go down with the ship!"

    "You're Hired!"

    Bedlam on
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    ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    TxdoHawk wrote: »
    To the Op: It's not hard to pass these things. Just think to yourself: What would my filthy dickbag of a future manager want me to say? Keep the following in mind:

    - You are enthusiastic. Working retail is the most awesome job ever! Woo minimum wage!
    - It doesn't matter if they are stealing an empty box for a temporary home, allowing customers to break store policies is BAD BAD BAD.
    - You aren't a mental case; you don't get angry at customers, or even provide an opinion to them unless explicitly asked.

    This pretty much covers the major points. Just think along these lines.

    On top of this, you should also be aware that answering questions in an intelligent/ambitious (IE, answering a question in such a way that infers that you would act on your own/independently.) manner might end up screwing you over as well. Several people have told me now that those people who are less likely to be motivated at the prospect of obtaining a better job/thinking independently are looked at more seriously as applicants. In other words, if you get a question that's vaguely similar to this.

    Q: Your employer wants you to take out the trash after manning the register for an hour. What do you do?

    1. Ignore the manager and go smoke pot out back. (Yes, this could possibly be a real question. UNICRU is that fucking stupid.)
    2. Take out the trash after manning the register.
    3. Take out the trash after manning the register, then ask your employer if any other work needs to be done.
    4. Hunt down the man who came up with the idea for UNICRU and lodge an axe in his skull.

    Answer 2, as that's probably what'll work out best for you, depending on the job. Then again, I probably wouldn't even bother with any job that makes you deal with that UNICRU BS anyways, as it's been my experience that any company that uses it is looking for highly expendable labor and you're likely to be treated like crap/not paid enough for the work you're meant to do.

    Archonex on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Unicru is a bitch, and does nothing to screen out the incompetent beyond whether or not they're literate. Luckily I worked retail before this, so I was able to charm my way into whatever job I wanted!

    Mysst on
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    HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Mysst wrote: »
    Unicru is a bitch, and does nothing to screen out the incompetent beyond whether or not they're literate. Luckily I worked retail before this, so I was able to charm my way into whatever job I wanted!

    Blowjobs?

    You'd think that'd still be a viable option.

    HadjiQuest on
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    MeatPopSICKleMeatPopSICKle Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hunter wrote: »
    Code Pink should be for a really hot chick who is dumb as hell, but gets the job because, well, huge tits.


    When i worked security at a retailer this is a code we used on our radios to alert eachother of just such things. Other non security and high ranking people had radios and would ease drop so we had all kinds of fake codes for stuff. If the boss ever asked what a code pink was, we told them it was what we used to alert eachother of suspicious activity.

    Also i came up a red on the electronic ap for this job, but i only took it as a formality since i had already interviewed with the big boss man. This has how i have gotten every job, interview before the application.

    MeatPopSICKle on
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    DarkHawkeDarkHawke Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    My last job title was

    'Backdoor Checker'

    Try putting that down on your resume.

    DarkHawke on
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    Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    probably a great job for a pickup line, though.

    Ness445 on
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I need a job, and there is nowhere to work here.

    seeing as I am barred from working at Wal-Mart.

    Bergy on
    ChicagoBulls01.jpg
    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    How the hell could you be banned from Walmart? The only real ways to get fired from there is stealing or rape.

    core tactic on
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    its not just a ban at this wal-mart.

    its a lifetime corporate ban.

    Bergy on
    ChicagoBulls01.jpg
    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Were you raping a squirming child while trying to shove 360 games into a sack?

    core tactic on
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    nah i had a drug arrest, and they fired and banned me.

    Bergy on
    ChicagoBulls01.jpg
    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You've got to learn to go for the theatrics.

    core tactic on
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I don't have anything fascinating to jazz the story up.

    I could apply at Radio Shack, but they haven't hired anyone in at least 2 years.

    Maybe a gas station.

    A rent to own place I don't know.

    There isn't shit here that isn't fast food.

    Bergy on
    ChicagoBulls01.jpg
    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    core tactic on
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    HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    So, yesterday

    I went to:
    -Staples
    -Radioshack
    -Kroger (a large midwestern grocery chain)
    -Costco
    -A mom & pop hardware store
    -A small local grocery chain
    -Gamestop

    All of them except the bottom three use unicru online applications. And only unicru online applications. They've all ceased using paper applications. And the hardware store wasn't hiring at all.

    So I applied to gamestop and Hiller's Market. I kind of hope gamestop will take me on for temp work.

    HadjiQuest on
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