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In My Pants! (Possible ED)

HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
edited August 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
I went up north a couple days ago to visit a girl. There was lots and lots of buildup before we finally started doing anything, and when we did start she got a bit rough with her hands. I ended up getting really sore, and one of my testicles swoll up. Later we tried again with more gentle methods, and I couldn't get completely erect, and I couldn't orgasm either. This left my penis and both of my testicles extremely sore. After that died down a bit, we tried again in the shower but she still couldn't get me off. I tried it myself, and I did manage to get there, but something still felt a bit off.

The next day, we kept trying and trying but I couldn't even get completely hard. There wasn't any soreness or anything, but something still felt off and even when I got home and went to bed, I didn't get a nocturnal erection like I normally do. Today I wasn't able to get completely erect, and it leans to the right now. I was able to masturbate, and at the peak it did feel like something was wrong in my right groin area.

Some sidenotes: This was the first time I've been with anyone, and as I spent more time with her I felt myself just generally becoming less and less aroused by....anything I've ever found arousing previously. I don't feel like thinking about sex anymore, like I could abandon any form of sexual release.

So, what's wrong with me and what do I do now? Is it psychological, physical, or both? Could a vein or muscle be snapped or pulled, and I should rush to a doctor? Or is it most likely that something was maybe just strained or overworked and it's just a temporary thing? I wasn't really nervous, so I don't think it was really anxiety at all, but I've heard rumors about becoming desensitized. Are those rumors true?

What do I do?

HadjiQuest on

Posts

  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Sounds like a sprain. Not surprising you're not in the mood, cause the cure is to lay off the everything for a while. If the muscles and blood vessels have been damaged (which they totally can be during rough or unfortunate play) you need to give it some time.

    To be honest, I don't know if they splint that or not, I've heard jokes about it, but I don't know the kernal of truth there. The acid test is if it hurts when you pee, you need a doctor. Embarrassing? Yes. But not so much as carrying a bent wang for the rest of your days. (I'm not kidding either, if there's breakage, there can be scarring, and that shit is permobend.) Your general unarousal is probably your body letting you take it easy, and a little psychological from having your junk tore up in a moment of passion. Once bitten twice shy and all that. It'll fade. If it's still hurting or swelling after a day go see someone about that. Seriously. Also, if your seeing blood in your urine, don't be walking to the doc. It's your penis, spring for a cab.

    Sarcastro on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    It's not quite that bad, so I imagine it's a sprain. It's not really pain as much as it feels like something's loose. When I masturbated a little while ago, it straightened out and there was no pain involved, but I still had some trouble getting it up, and once it was perfectly straight, that "loose" feeling on my right side felt like it got stretched out a bit more. Once again, not a painful stretching, but stretching you'd do to any muscle that felt stiff or hadn't been used in awhile.

    I'm also curious to hear more about the desensitized to women thing, too, as I'm afraid that might be a secondary issue.

    HadjiQuest on
  • METAzraeLMETAzraeL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    It's not quite that bad, so I imagine it's a sprain. It's not really pain as much as it feels like something's loose. When I masturbated a little while ago, it straightened out and there was no pain involved, but I still had some trouble getting it up, and once it was perfectly straight, that "loose" feeling on my right side felt like it got stretched out a bit more. Once again, not a painful stretching, but stretching you'd do to any muscle that felt stiff or hadn't been used in awhile.

    I'm also curious to hear more about the desensitized to women thing, too, as I'm afraid that might be a secondary issue.
    On the desensitized thing, well, it was your first time and you didn't have the best experience, so I'm sure it's a natural side-effect that you're not too interested at the moment. Plus, as Sarcastro mentioned, if you've sprained it your body is probably trying to keep things cool. However, if this lack of interest continues, especially through normal, pleasant sex, there's always the possibility that women just aren't your thing.

    METAzraeL on

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  • CaswynbenCaswynben Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Also : It is easy to build up the sexual experience before it happens, and then when it happens in real life, it is often pretty jarring.

    Caswynben on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Ugh, I feel for you. A lot of inexperienced women seem to have this notion that men tug the shit out of their penis, and will actually hurt men in an attempt to give them a handjob. Since handjobs are very common when first getting with women, it's also one of those things you can't just say "hey, stop it, that hurts," without ruining your chances to stay intimate that evening or weekend.

    Your penis should get better on its own. If there's no current swelling and you're not feeling any pain, it should get better on its own. If it doesn't, you may want to bring it up to a doc next time you see one.

    As for the girl, and other girls, stay away from handjobs. If they start tuggin' like crazy, stop them and say "whoa, let's not get too crazy," hinting more that you don't want it to be over quickly rather than an attempt to save yourself from pain. The other stuff *may* have to do with getting worked up over it, and then getting let down painfully and unexcited, which may simply mean that you lost interest in sex for a while. That's normal.

    EggyToast on
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  • Iceman.USAFIceman.USAF Major East CoastRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Someone said this already, but you mentioned you were making this huge build-up and then felt disappointed.

    This being your first time, COMPLETELY NORMAL if you had some previous sexual tension. Don't worry about it.

    Iceman.USAF on
  • supabeastsupabeast Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Sounds like a sprain. Not surprising you're not in the mood, cause the cure is to lay off the everything for a while. If the muscles and blood vessels have been damaged (which they totally can be during rough or unfortunate play) you need to give it some time.

    Have you ever even looked at an anatomical diagram of a penis? There isn’t anything in there to sprain! No bones, no muscles, just erectile tissues, oodles of blood vessels, nerves and a urethra. And a foreskin if you’re European.

    The problem is just that OPs penis is being handled for too long in ways that he is not used to. If she’s going to give him a hand job, things will work out just fine if she uses lube.

    supabeast on
  • Iceman.USAFIceman.USAF Major East CoastRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You can most definitely sprain your penis.

    Iceman.USAF on
  • RhinoRhino TheRhinLOL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    holy crap.

    Listen, if it hurts and your testicles start to swell it means your doing it wrong. or she is doing it wrong. Someone somewhere is doing something wrong. The goal is to get the penis to feel good... not bad.

    In all the time I have engaged in sexual activity, from self or other; I have never had one of my testicles swell afterwards. That sounds painful. Testicles shouldn't swell from any time of sexual activity.... or actucally, any type of activity - sexual or not. If they are starting to swell, stop. It means something is wrong and you could be causing serious damage. This goes for biking or anything you do.


    I don't know if I can post /those/ sorts of links, but if you search the internet there are guides and educational sites that show you how to do it (or show her how to do it). Start off slow.

    If she is having problems working your joystick, it is perfectly permissionable (and advisable, specially with this girl) to teach her how to drive the thing. If it hurts, tell her to stop.


    As far as the hurt and not getting it up; my policy when it comes to the penis: if there is ANY doubt what so ever then go see a docotor.

    Rhino on
    93mb4.jpg
  • RhinoRhino TheRhinLOL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    EggyToast wrote: »
    Since handjobs are very common when first getting with women, it's also one of those things you can't just say "hey, stop it, that hurts," without ruining your chances to stay intimate that evening or weekend.

    If it hurts, tell her it hurts. Most girls won't be offended. I mean, show some tact sure; but let them know if something is causing pain. If a girl likes you enough to get into your pants, then more then likely she'll like you enough not to bash the hell out of your man parts.

    Rhino on
    93mb4.jpg
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    This will sound a little harsh, but here I go:

    1. Allow your penis and testicles to completely cure, if you think you need to see a doctor, do it.
    2. Get Viagra (50mg) and take it one hour before you have sex with her (enjoy it)
    3. The next time you are with her, don't use the Viagra, maybe you were nervous and your body was too stupid to respond to the stimulus.

    If things don't go well the second time, start taking vitamin E and Ginseng.

    Good luck

    P.S.
    The information above actually comes from a professional.

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    By the way, please read this information:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicular_torsion

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • RhinoRhino TheRhinLOL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'm assuming this guy is around 18-20. He didn't say, but the inexperience I would think would be around there?

    Having said that... don't do the Viagra. It can have some nasty side effects, and it's illegal unless you got a script (must MDs aren't going to give a script to a 20 year old unless there are medical problems) and thirdly, it's more then likely a mental problem. Talk to your partner about it and learn to communicate, relax and be comfortable with her. Don't go taking a bunch of meds for something that can be solved with a simple converstation.

    Fourthly, my god. 50mg? That'd give a horny 20 year old an erection for a week. If you do the blue pill (and I strongly advocate you don't) start off with a small doze like a fourth of a 25 meg pill.

    Fucking christ dude. 50mg could raise the dead.

    Seriously see the doctor about your swollen testicles and once that is taken care of then TALK to your partner. Most girls are understanding, if your nervous or uncomfortable, or what have you; then talk about it as a couple - more then likely she is probably feeling the same way. Get it worked out now so that you don't have weeks of awkward sexual interactions.

    Rhino on
    93mb4.jpg
  • TiemlerTiemler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    It's never gone as far as injury, but I've had to tell a few women in the past to slow it the hell down. They sure as hell wouldn't let me treat their clit that roughly.

    OP: Go see your doctor, for god's sake. It's nothing he hasn't seen before, and he's not gonna yank it around like this girl. Call and make the appointment already.

    Tiemler on
  • Xenocide GeekXenocide Geek Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Fantasma wrote: »
    By the way, please read this information:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicular_torsion

    okay... he does not have testicular torsion.

    that's supposed to be one of the most painful things you can experience.

    he would be crying right now. he says he's in "mild discomfort".

    Xenocide Geek on
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    but i'm bound to fall
    bound to fall for you
    oh what can i do
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Fantasma wrote: »
    This will sound a little harsh, but here I go:

    1. Allow your penis and testicles to completely cure, if you think you need to see a doctor, do it.
    2. Get Viagra (50mg) and take it one hour before you have sex with her (enjoy it)
    3. The next time you are with her, don't use the Viagra, maybe you were nervous and your body was too stupid to respond to the stimulus.

    If things don't go well the second time, start taking vitamin E and Ginseng.

    Good luck

    P.S.
    The information above actually comes from a professional.

    Don't take viagra without discussing it with your partner well beforehand. Jumping her with an insatiable boner is not the way to keep her coming back for more, and given that a huge percentage of women don't actually get off on PiV, you're both going to frustrated and pissed off and the relationship will very likely take a nosedive. Secondly, there is a fucking reason the stuff is prescription only. Side effects are nothing to sneeze at.


    jesus christ you give the worst advice ever.

    The Cat on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited August 2007
    Fantasma wrote: »
    This will sound a little harsh, but here I go:

    1. Allow your penis and testicles to completely cure, if you think you need to see a doctor, do it.
    2. Get Viagra (50mg) and take it one hour before you have sex with her (enjoy it)
    3. The next time you are with her, don't use the Viagra, maybe you were nervous and your body was too stupid to respond to the stimulus.

    If things don't go well the second time, start taking vitamin E and Ginseng.

    Good luck

    P.S.
    The information above actually comes from a professional.

    Professional circus clown?

    Tube on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    Fantasma wrote: »
    This will sound a little harsh, but here I go:

    1. Allow your penis and testicles to completely cure, if you think you need to see a doctor, do it.
    2. Get Viagra (50mg) and take it one hour before you have sex with her (enjoy it)
    3. The next time you are with her, don't use the Viagra, maybe you were nervous and your body was too stupid to respond to the stimulus.

    If things don't go well the second time, start taking vitamin E and Ginseng.

    Good luck

    P.S.
    The information above actually comes from a professional.

    Don't take viagra without discussing it with your partner well beforehand. Jumping her with an insatiable boner is not the way to keep her coming back for more, and given that a huge percentage of women don't actually get off on PiV, you're both going to frustrated and pissed off and the relationship will very likely take a nosedive. Secondly, there is a fucking reason the stuff is prescription only. Side effects are nothing to sneeze at.


    jesus christ you give the worst advice ever.

    I know for a fact she does get off on PiV.

    Still, Viagra is not the road for me. And I'm not in enough discomfort to warrant a doctor's visit and an awkward explanation to my parents as to why I'm seeing a doctor.

    I'm more worried about the psychological factors behind all of this still, as I think they played a pretty large part as well.

    HadjiQuest on
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited August 2007
    Go to a doctor you stupid fucking tool. If you're too scared to say to your parents "I'm going to the doctor because I have some men's trouble" you don't deserve a penis.

    Tube on
  • Folken FanelFolken Fanel anime af When's KoFRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    HadjiQuest wrote: »

    Still, Viagra is not the road for me.

    and it won't be for quite some time if you're in your late teens/early 20s
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    And I'm not in enough discomfort to warrant a doctor's visit and an awkward explanation to my parents as to why I'm seeing a doctor.

    You better be fucking sure this isn't the case.

    Nevermind, fuck that. If there's even a slight chance that your wang is broken, I think an awkward conversation is nothing compared to the shame you'll have for the rest of your life because you were too afraid to get your penis checked out.
    HadjiQuest wrote: »

    I'm more worried about the psychological factors behind all of this still, as I think they played a pretty large part as well.

    Certainly possible. Many people have bad experiences during their first time. Don't blame yourself either. Sadly trial and error is often the best way to deal with these things.

    Folken Fanel on
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  • RNEMESiS42RNEMESiS42 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hmm, pain in testicles...sounds like blue balls to me. You said you had been building up horniness/sexual tension for a while, but you didn't get off any of the times you tried. The result: swollen balls and pain in your lower abdomen (like, really lower). All that build-up gets your testicles fired up to release everything in climax, but when no climax happens, there's nowhere for all that build-up to go.
    This happened a few times to me when I was a teenager when I would be getting pretty intimate with a girl, but we wouldn't go far enough to get each other off. It wasn't a big deal until minutes later it inexplicably felt like I had been kicked in the groin. It sucked! There's even a small wikipedia aside about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelvic_congestion
    Was she physically yanking on your balls, too? That would probably amplify the pain.
    I wouldn't be too worried about it, in the past girls had roughly handled my penis and made it really raw and sore. One time I got a thin scab from the girl being so abrasive. I don't think you should tell her explicitly that she's doing things wrong. Show her what makes YOU feel good. Next time you get intimate, tell her that it hurt before, and that you'd like to show her how it could be better. I'm sure it's her goal to please you, not hurt you. It will probably give her confidence or feel more intimate if you guide her along with what makes you feel good. In the meantime...leave your penis alone, recover, and next time try to be relaxed and learn together. Don't leave each other in the dark when you're both trying to be intimate and get each other off, it will lead to more self-conscious thoughts and stress, preventing orgasms and you guys enjoying yourselves! You're not desensitized to sex...I'm pretty sure not being able to get off, or getting off way too quickly happens to almost every man when they first become sexually active with another person.

    RNEMESiS42 on
    my apartment looks upside down from there
    water spirals the wrong way out the sink
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    It was just a suggestion, no need to nail me or shoot me for trying to help.

    You guys are so perfect and elitists that make me feel like a piece of shit, anyway, so long and good luck in this journey called human life.

    God bless you all.

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • RNEMESiS42RNEMESiS42 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    So, is your penis okay?

    RNEMESiS42 on
    my apartment looks upside down from there
    water spirals the wrong way out the sink
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    RNEMESiS42 wrote: »
    So, is your penis okay?

    I'm honestly still not sure, but I see her again tomorrow and then not for a long, long time after (long distance relationships ftl).

    HadjiQuest on
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    HadjiQuest wrote: »
    RNEMESiS42 wrote: »
    So, is your penis okay?

    I'm honestly still not sure, but I see her again tomorrow and then not for a long, long time after (long distance relationships ftl).

    Sounds like you need a break from her Hands of Destruction anyway :P
    go see a doctor

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SuperBowserSuperBowser Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    See a doctor. If it's still hurting that should be enough reason. you only have two testicles.

    (i think testicular torsion is possible)

    SuperBowser on
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Let me get this straight: You've got some long-lasting pain down your pants, and instead of going to the doctor, you're asking people online?

    I know this is H/A but we're talking about something completely different here.

    I say you should go see a doctor, unless you're REALLY sure the mild discomfort isn't that bad and is fading away with time. No wait, scratch that, just go to the doctor. The guy who's used to check out penises, since it's part of his profession, and who's bound by professional secret.

    Djiem on
  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    See a doctor. If it's still hurting that should be enough reason. you only have two testicles.

    (i think testicular torsion is possible)

    No goddamn it, it's not possible. If he had testicular torsion, he would feel like his intestines were being ripped out through his nutsack. It's not something you casually query about, it's something other people consider while you roll up in a corner and plead for a swift death.

    Sarcastro on
  • SuperBowserSuperBowser Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The pain is not always unbearable. I am speaking from experience.

    The fact that it's swollen, tender and hurts makes it enough of a possibility. But it's not like it matters. Residing pain down there = doctor.

    SuperBowser on
  • RhinoRhino TheRhinLOL Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Any updates?

    Rhino on
    93mb4.jpg
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Problem Solved.

    Twice

    I think it was just blue-balls from the fact that I may have initially been gunshy.

    HadjiQuest on
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