“Well, this is a pretty gorram curious turn of events,” Mal exclaimed to nobody in particular, drawing his pistol and taking cover behind a pile of crates in Serenity’s
“We saw some pretty strange stuff during the war Sir, but I ain’t never heard of a coincidence like this one,” remarked his first mate, Zoe, while she wedged herself behind a metal outcropping on the edge of the room.
“What the hell Wash, you gorram idiot! How did all of them get aboard without you picking it up on the sensors, you stupid bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway ro!,” Jayne vulgarly screamed, hefting Vera, only his most favorite gun in the whole universe.
“Are you going to let him say that about me, honey?” Wash hastily yelled down from the cockpit while initiating takeoff procedures, quickly accelerating into space.
“For once I agree with the meathead, you do need to stop playing with those toy dinosaurs and fly the ship once in a while.” Shouted back Zoe, her words neatly punctuated with shots from her gun, to make sure that the intruders were keeping their heads down.
“What’s all that ruckus down there fellows,” called out Inara, peeking out over the edge of the railing above the hold, only to have her words cut short by a hail of bullets as she ducked away in terror.
It was a pretty huge coincidence that at this moment in time, the Serenity
was boarded by not just one, but six different enemies, all with their own motives, but sharing the same interests – mainly, the death of the crew – both the three they were engaged in a gunbattle with, and the remaining crewmembers – Simon, River, Book, Kaylee, Wash, and Inara, who at the present moment were trying to barricade themselves in their respective bunks.
“Wot in the BLOODY ‘ELL is goin’ on ‘ere.” Screamed out Badger, striding up to the railing above the combatants, seemingly uncaring about any bullets that may be heading his way.. “That’s me stuff you’re putting bullets into!”
“Just stuff, Badger,” shouted back Mal. “You can always get more”
“No you blithering idiot, one o’ those crates I’m paying you to transport is full o’ some dang’rous gas that might just KILL us all, the rest are just d’versions.”
With that, the shooting suddenly ceased, or at least it did for a second, until Jayne, his tongue poking our the side of his mouth in a curious smile, squeezed off a single shot, which impacted with a curious thunk,
and a low hiss
of excaping gas.
Slowly, the air in the Serenity
took on a pale tinge, as the gas diffused throughout all the air in the ship.
“What is this stuff Badger?,” everybody within earshot simultaneously yelled.
“I don’ know, it’s jus’ some prototype stuff that Patience wanted me to steal for ‘er. I nicked it from some heavily guarded Blue Sun reasarch lab. It seems pretty gorram harmless, because we’re not dead yet.”
“It’s the PAX,” camly spoke the Operative, the first words out of his mouth the whole time during the fight. “The formula hasn’t been finalized yet, but it’s meant to suppress violence and institute calm and logic among a rebellious population.”
“Well that explains why I don’t want to kill you just now,” said Mal, visibly calmer. “I mean, I want all of you intruders dead, but I just don’t want to kill you just yet”
This seemed to be the general consensus among both the crewmembers and the intruders, who all seemed to have dropped their weapons and met in the center of the Cargo bay, forming a neat circle with Mal at the center.
“Here’s how we’ll settle this here dispute,” started Mal. “Every day, we’ll decide to vote for somebody to throw into the black, instead of just killing everyone here and now in a bloodbath. That way, nobody will have to clean up the mess. It will be all organized and democratic, just like you alliance-types like it.”
Thus began day one of Firefly: The Phalla.