confession, gotta get it off my chest

thedude_frombaywatch

So I did it, man sometimes I think I should grow up. But, I just never do. Example today I was helping my girlfriend buy some art supplies at this very well known art store , while we were in the acrylic aisle and the store attendant was going through the various colors with my girlfriend I stood behind the black shopping cart semi bored. Looking around at various hues, greys, yellows, and blues. And I grabbed this blue hue acrylic off of the shelf. I gave it a look over and held it in the palm of my hand and it looked just like a roll of tooth paste.

I looked up at my girlfriend and she was still talking , i started playing around with the paint and started pushing it away from the cap into the tight fold behind and in an instant that paint EXPLODED from that end and shot 4 feet infront of me onto a brush display and partially onto our cart and a silent but noticable yelp came from my mouth.

my girlfriend turned to me and goes, what happened????

and I looked at her with these eyes , like i did something. And she looked at the cart and turned around like nothing. and i started wondering, she didnt see it?? i looked at my hands and i had Blue, paint on my palm and i looked at the blue paint now splattered, but in a reasonable, unnoticable way, all over the brushes.

I was thinking, shit.. no one sees it.

I need to ditch the cart fast it has paint over it. It was a Black shopping cart, the color of this blue was Really dark. I later on cleaned up my hands and switched the carts over. replaced anything remotely close to showing paint.

we got to the check stand and as we were paying for shit a brush has blue paint on it. and that was it.

We drove home and I said to my self. Those people are gonna find that mess over by the brushes and that cashier is gonna put two and two together and find my ass and make me buy them a new display i know it.

they're probably looking at it right now during closing hours.

I'm in big trouble. I feel like Shit.

Meissnerd

ahahahahahahahaha

Angry Weatherman

you fuckin scum you deserve the death penalty, i hope they find you and beat you real good before they put you down like the dog you are.

Malkor

Did your GF pay with a credit card? Did the store have cameras?

eryu90

Why did you choose blue, everybody knows orange is the superior color for this type of mischief.

Loser

this is a great thread

:^:

Critical

Dude. They're probably on the way to your house right now.

I hope you have some of those anti rape condoms. Stick one in your ass.

Knob

people do shit like this every day

and then laugh about it and tell the cashier that they better go clean it up

at least you're a decent enough human to feel guilty

most people wouldn't

Centipede Damascus

I can see some cashier tasked with cleaning your mess up.

He is scowling real bad. Muttering under his breath too. Later he goes and watches the security tapes all night by himself while sharpening his switchblade. Tomorrow's going to be a big day amigo.

Orestes

Knob wrote: »

people do shit like this every day

and then laugh about it and tell the cashier that they better go clean it up

at least you're a decent enough human to feel guilty

most people wouldn't

Very very true.

I can't believe how many times people will go and knock down a beer display and just laugh.

monkeyfeet63

That was you!

I am so fucking pisssed now.

Jordyn

ya know who else has to get a lot off their chest?




Breast cancer patients.

Malkor

(

#pipe

At a party, a dude I know and don't like very much was drunk and being a total fucktard, just jumping around and ruining people's fun.
He tackled someone over the couch and right onto my wireless Guitar Hero controller and snapped the neck off.

He looked at it, and he fucking knew I was standing right next to him, but he just turned and walked off. And ignored me for the rest of the night like nothing had happened.

I was going to smack him in the back of the head but I'm good friends with his girlfriend and she said she'd buy me a new one.

fuck people who don't take responsibility when they fuck up.

Malkor

YOu should have poked him with the controller for the rest of the party. Poked him and laughed.

monkeyfeet63

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

Centipede Damascus

Yeah what if the employee's name is Roast Beef Kazenzakis

man would you feel like a dick

Mr. Henry Bemis

seriously fuck people like that

if i break someone's shit i'm apologizing for like 5 minutes

thedude_frombaywatch

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

So you're saying... They might be hiring soon? I can work off my debt and a week later quit.

Then confess, remember that. Yeah, IT WAS ME

Brolo

Knob wrote: »

people do shit like this every day

and then laugh about it and tell the cashier that they better go clean it up

at least you're a decent enough human to feel guilty

most people wouldn't

I love using public restrooms.

I creatively look for ways to get poop in places that it would be implausible to get poop on.

Ceilings. Walls. Inside the little boxes that dispense those folded brown paper towels.

Then when I leave I always say "BETTER WATCH OUT IN THOSE WASHROOMS GUYS! I MADE AN AWFUL MESS!" to the clerks working there.

Orestes

Rolo wrote: »

Knob wrote: »

people do shit like this every day

and then laugh about it and tell the cashier that they better go clean it up

at least you're a decent enough human to feel guilty

most people wouldn't

I love using public restrooms.

I creatively look for ways to get poop in places that it would be implausible to get poop on.

Ceilings. Walls. Inside the little boxes that dispense those folded brown paper towels.

Then when I leave I always say "BETTER WATCH OUT IN THOSE WASHROOMS GUYS! I MADE AN AWFUL MESS!" to the clerks working there.

I you did that where I work, then you came back. I would actually hit you over the head with a baseball bat.

No questions asked.

Brolo

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

why are you using monkeybomb's name and smeghead's av

i am confused and angry and slightly turned on

monkeyfeet63

thedude_frombaywatch wrote: »

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

So you're saying... They might be hiring soon? I can work off my debt and a week later quit.

Then confess, remember that. Yeah, IT WAS ME

This will only work if they guy who kills himself was a total dick.

Otherwise you're still fucked my friend.

But those suicidy types are always complete douches. You should be fine.

Mr. Henry Bemis

oh neccesarily dogg

#pipe

dudeokay wrote: »

seriously fuck people like that

if i break someone's shit i'm apologizing for like 5 minutes

this is a guy who borrowed like $1,000 off my friend, then when her boyfriend left the country, this guy told my friend that he was never going to pay her back and she was a stupid cunt for lending him the money in the first place.

Voth

I have to admit, I did something once. I just can't remember it exactly, but according to my girlfriend I'm real guilty of it and should know what it is.

Brolo

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

thedude_frombaywatch wrote: »

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

So you're saying... They might be hiring soon? I can work off my debt and a week later quit.

Then confess, remember that. Yeah, IT WAS ME

This will only work if they guy who kills himself was a total dick.

Otherwise you're still fucked my friend.

But those suicidy types are always complete douches. You should be fine.

admittedly they're usually better than those guys that say they're going to commit suicide then don't

"man I swear I'm gonna kill myself life isn't worth living but I'm gonna wait for the season finale of The Hills before I do it"

Zephyr

i stole a candy bar from the grocery store when i was like 8

Mr. Henry Bemis

so last week then

zing

monkeyfeet63

Rolo wrote: »

monkeyfeet63 wrote: »

What if the employee who had to clean up your mess leads a pretty crappy life and this was just an awful day, and your shenanigans just pushed this guy over the top? So he kills himself??

Way to fucking go. You killed someone.

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror still.

why are you using monkeybomb's name and smeghead's av

i am confused and angry and slightly turned on

Let's see where this goes.

Zephyr

yeah well you're gay and you do gay things with your gay friends and drive a gay car and have a gay house with gay plants and gay computer with gay internet which you use to look at gay porn

150cc

man the dude at least you feel bad

you are a good dude

it is ok

at least you feel bad

when you work a retail job you realize just how many people do not feel bad

in high school i worked at a grocery store

some putz of a lady goes hella walkin' fast past me with her little kid out the door

i turn and look

the little kid has a brown patch

it smells like

butt

i follow the scent

wet cleanup on aisle 3

Brolo

dudeokay wrote: »

so last week then

zing

"now I need the season to come out on dvd i hear they meet xzibit in one of the bonus features then I swear to god i'm gonna overdose on these pills"

Angry Weatherman

one time i went into a 7-11, there was this fat girl behind the counter, probably an illegal, so just as a joke i started callin her a border hoppin piece of shit, shit like that, and knocked a bunch of racks over, she started freakin out itw as great, then i went and got a bunch o cases of booze and beer kegs, filled my fuckin truck with em, went back in the bitch was about to call the cops, so i wnet back to my truck and got my shotgun, i ripped the phone out and hit the bitch in the face with the butt of my gunn, she started spitting out blooda nd a few teeth, so i roughed herup a bit, til she started cryin, it was gettin annoyin as fuck, so if ucking blew her brains out on the floor and rdrove off, never foraget it

Mr. Henry Bemis

Rolo wrote: »

dudeokay wrote: »

so last week then

zing

"now I need the season to come out on dvd i hear they meet xzibit in one of the bonus features then I swear to god i'm gonna overdose on these pills"

rolo that was the best post

Brolo

Angry Weatherman wrote: »

one time i went into a 7-11, there was this fat girl behind the counter, probably an illegal, so just as a joke i started callin her a border hoppin piece of shit, shit like that, and knocked a bunch of racks over, she started freakin out itw as great, then i went and got a bunch o cases of booze and beer kegs, filled my fuckin truck with em, went back in the bitch was about to call the cops, so i wnet back to my truck and got my shotgun, i ripped the phone out and hit the bitch in the face with the butt of my gunn, she started spitting out blooda nd a few teeth, so i roughed herup a bit, til she started cryin, it was gettin annoyin as fuck, so if ucking blew her brains out on the floor and rdrove off, never foraget it

well she was asking for it

Cosmic Sombrero

i sometimes masturbate while driving if traffic is terrible or if i'm about to fall asleep

Mr. Henry Bemis

no zeph

homosexuality

my only weakness

Zephyr

Cosmic Sombrero wrote: »

i sometimes masturbate while driving if traffic is terrible or if i'm about to fall asleep

i know other people who do this

150cc

one time a lady projectile vomited all over a checkstand as she was checking out

she then had a grand mal seizure

i felt bad

but i still did not enjoy throwing out the magazines

cleaning barf off of the rubber conveyor belt

mopping up blowchunks

Sub Standard

Rolo wrote: »

Angry Weatherman wrote: »

one time i went into a 7-11, there was this fat girl behind the counter, probably an illegal, so just as a joke i started callin her a border hoppin piece of shit, shit like that, and knocked a bunch of racks over, she started freakin out itw as great, then i went and got a bunch o cases of booze and beer kegs, filled my fuckin truck with em, went back in the bitch was about to call the cops, so i wnet back to my truck and got my shotgun, i ripped the phone out and hit the bitch in the face with the butt of my gunn, she started spitting out blooda nd a few teeth, so i roughed herup a bit, til she started cryin, it was gettin annoyin as fuck, so if ucking blew her brains out on the floor and rdrove off, never foraget it

well she was asking for it

Clearly. I don't know what that clerk's problem was.