A tribute to awful [awful thread]

Grandaddy Delicious

Jordyn wrote: »

I was staring at my bloody hands and my wedding ring wasn't on and I couldn't remember if we'd actually gotten married.

Jesus Jordyn, like, how do you get that fixed? (Seriously?)

Jordyn

like, how do I stop having seizures or how do I remember things?

I stop having them with medication. But the one I had been on made me really sleepy and for a while Fram didn't have health insurance and we couldn't afford it, so I stopped taking it and just tried to avoid getting stressed for a while, since that seemed to set them off.

I remember stuff because I start to remember stuff after a while.

Der Waffle Mous

I'm kinda half suspended between going and implying that Fram is, in fact, a Skrull.

BigDes

Jordyn I am sorry if my talking about jeans made you have a seizure.

Jordyn

Man, I've talked about this seizure before.

I mean, this last one sucked a lot what with hitting the bathroom floor so hard it cut my head open a bit and I had a concussion, but I thought most everyone here knew about it.

And the one before that I fell out of a chair and dislocated my shoulder, though I woke up with it back in and on the couch somehow even though I was home alone.

PotU

How could you know that you dislocated you shoulder?

Jordyn

I asked the cat.

NotASenator

That was pretty obvious, actually.

Framling

I asked math questions because it was odd enough that, a minute or two later, I could ask if she remembered when I'd asked her a math question. Then I could gauge her memory coming back.

Penguin Incarnate

"What's five times five?"
"Orange."
"Fuck."

Rankenphile

Just put a finger in her butt every five minutes, then ask her if she remembers that time you put a finger in her butt.

When she hits you, she's okay.

Poorochondriac

Rank go read my comic edit.

Do it do it doit

Jordyn

Have a seizure.

Wake up with my pants off.

Get a divorce.

Rankenphile

I did.

It is okay. Not your most inspired, but you worked fairly well with what you had.

Metzger Meister

I could make a tastelss joke about muscle convulsions and writhing around during a siezure, but I won't.

Garlic Bread

what if you wake up and you have a nice tuque tuque

Rankenphile

where's my pants? why does my butthole hurt?

awww man, this medication ain't helping shit.

Poorochondriac

Rankenphile wrote: »

I did.

It is okay. Not your most inspired, but you worked fairly well with what you had.

True dat.

Poorochondriac

Rankenphile wrote: »

where's my pants? why does my butthole hurt?

awww man, this medication ain't helping shit.

Good news! It's a suppository.

Rankenphile

Poorochondriac wrote: »

Rankenphile wrote: »

where's my pants? why does my butthole hurt?

awww man, this medication ain't helping shit.

Good news! It's a suppository.

that is never good news.

Jordyn

Metzger Meister wrote: »

I could make a tastelss joke about muscle convulsions and writhing around during a siezure, but I won't.

Everyone else makes tasteless jokes about my seizures, I'm used to it.

Besides, by basically describing the joke you were going to make, you pretty much made the joke.

And it's been made before, plenty of times.

Rankenphile

Jordyn wrote: »

Metzger Meister wrote: »

I could make a tastelss joke about muscle convulsions and writhing around during a siezure, but I won't.

Everyone else makes tasteless jokes about my seizures, I'm used to it.

Besides, by basically describing the joke you were going to make, you pretty much made the joke.

And it's been made before, plenty of times.

I'm a big fan of the milkshake one, myself.

Ruckus

Rankenphile wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

Metzger Meister wrote: »

I could make a tastelss joke about muscle convulsions and writhing around during a siezure, but I won't.

Everyone else makes tasteless jokes about my seizures, I'm used to it.

Besides, by basically describing the joke you were going to make, you pretty much made the joke.

And it's been made before, plenty of times.

I'm a big fan of the milkshake one, myself.

Jordyn's milkshake brings all the paramedics to the yard?

[edit] and yes I know you don't call an ambulance every time somebody has a seizure.

Garlic Bread

fram should play the beginning of Jimmy Ray - Goin to Vegas when you start seizing

Jordyn

And I'm like 'aidyaidyaidyaidyaidy"

Jordyn

Keith wrote: »

fram should play the beginning of Jimmy Ray - Goin to Vegas when you start seizing

shake-a shake-a shake-a shake shake shake-a shake-a shake shake shake shake

Rankenphile

honey, you okay?

shit, another seizure.

hold on to these, honey. Don't let go.

Mine's in your right hand. It's chocolate.

Garlic Bread

Jordyn wrote: »

Keith wrote: »

fram should play the beginning of Jimmy Ray - Goin to Vegas when you start seizing

shake-a shake-a shake-a shake shake shake-a shake-a shake shake shake shake

I honestly don't know what that has to do with the rest of the song

Jordyn

those things better have good lids.

Garlic Bread

Rankenphile wrote: »

annie, you okay?

shit, another seizure.

hold on to these, honey. Don't let go.

Mine's in your right hand. It's chocolate.

you've been hit by


you've been struck by


a smoothie criminal

Metzger Meister

Shake-shake shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture!

Jordyn

Keith wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

Keith wrote: »

fram should play the beginning of Jimmy Ray - Goin to Vegas when you start seizing

shake-a shake-a shake-a shake shake shake-a shake-a shake shake shake shake

I honestly don't know what that has to do with the rest of the song

HEY

HO

where ya gonna go!

doom doom doom

Well, I'm going to Vegas!

Framling

When she had that last one, I heard her hit the floor and ran in there to keep her from hurting herself more than she already had, and at first I was like "It's okay, baby, you're okay," but then I realized that since she was still seizing, I was pretty much talking to myself. And then, my hand to god, the next thing I thought was "Jordyn is not. A. Vailable."

Jordyn

Hey you should check your e-mail.

Rankenphile

man those things are the funniest shit ever.

Ginger Mijango

Octo-Business-Guy lacking in trousers and any sort of work ethic.

Lucky Cynic

That's magnificent.

Marshmallow

Shoot, now I wanna draw something.

Also: Nice work as usual, Ginger!

Mr. Henry Bemis

Marshmallow

Behold, a Catcus.