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What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to a female?

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Posts

  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The internet crept out of me, and I once told my wife to put out or I'd rape her.
    She's not internet people, so it threw her for a loop.

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    What was the line?
    We must know it.
    Do you want to become one with me? Do you want us to become one both mentally and physically? It would be so comfortable.

    why

    hahahaha

    you idiot

    potatoe on
  • ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    What was the line?
    We must know it.
    Do you want to become one with me? Do you want us to become one both mentally and physically? It would be so comfortable.

    why

    That's amazing.
    Out of all the lines from that stupid series, how did you pick that one?

    Zombot on
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I also called a girl by the name of her best friend, who is also my best friend's girlfriend

    as we were about to fuck

    that put the brakes on that

    Skull Man on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    chasm wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey, married women need loving to!

    Yes, they do.:winky: But does it count if you don't find out they're married till afterward?

    nope

    that's like finding out she was a he a week later

    you don't get your gay card for that

    Okay, what if you know she's married beforehand, but she's married to one of your personal enemies and you've wanted to fuck her since before they got married?

    chasm on
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  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    That's amazing.
    Out of all the lines from that stupid series, how did you pick that one?

    at the time I thought it was pretty memorable

    but in retrospect

    I might have errred

    You Bastard on
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  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    chasm wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    chasm wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey, married women need loving to!

    Yes, they do.:winky: But does it count if you don't find out they're married till afterward?

    nope

    that's like finding out she was a he a week later

    you don't get your gay card for that

    Okay, what if you know she's married beforehand, but she's married to one of your personal enemies and you've wanted to fuck her since before they got married?

    then bonus

    Skull Man on
  • ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    That's amazing.
    Out of all the lines from that stupid series, how did you pick that one?

    at the time I thought it was pretty memorable

    but in retrospect

    I might have errred

    You should have totally jerked off in front of her while staring at her tits.
    Works every time.

    Zombot on
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    You should have totally jerked off in front of her while staring at her tits.
    Works every time.

    WHY DIDN'T I LEARN THIS WHEN I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD

    STUPID ALGEBRA

    WASTE OF MY TIME

    You Bastard on
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  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    chasm wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    chasm wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    Hey, married women need loving to!

    Yes, they do.:winky: But does it count if you don't find out they're married till afterward?

    nope

    that's like finding out she was a he a week later

    you don't get your gay card for that

    Okay, what if you know she's married beforehand, but she's married to one of your personal enemies and you've wanted to fuck her since before they got married?

    Now this has become my dream. I have to make enemies with a man dating a hot girl OR I have to get my attractive friend to marry a dude I hate. I want to make this happen, though I'm normally pretty set against infidelity. This just seems really hot.

    TankHammer on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh, I'd never cheat on a girl I'm dating, but I've been the other man a few times. And the enemy's wife thing is awesome.

    chasm on
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  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    shield-mackey.jpg



    "Your wife's pussy tastes like sweet butter."

    Stale on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    "Do...do you live around here often?"

    Butters on
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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    "Your wife's pussy tastes like sweet butter."

    some days i dream about saying something like that

    just to piss him off a bit more

    potatoe on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    :D "Are you here with anyone tonight?"
    :| "What?"
    :o "Are you here with anyone tonight!?"
    :| "Im sorry?"
    :x "WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?"
    :? "I have a boyfriend!":!!:
    :oops: "okaynevermindthen."

    Thanks loud music. Thanks for harshin my smooth-talk.

    TankHammer on
  • I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    "Do...do you live around here often?"

    this might be the best ever

    i often combine sentences when nervous

    none of them had that remarkable outcome

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    :D "Are you here with anyone tonight?"
    :| "What?"
    :o "Are you here with anyone tonight!?"
    :| "Im sorry?"
    :x "WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?"
    :? "I have a boyfriend!":!!:
    :oops: "okaynevermindthen."

    Thanks loud music. Thanks for harshin my smooth-talk.

    this reminds me of a story

    dances at my middle school were mandatory

    they were during school and were lame and packed in to a small gym.

    me and my friends were sitting against the wall (god forbid they give us chairs) talking and this ridiculously large girl walks up to like, the 7 of us.

    i go "ooh someones about to have a fun time" and of course of the 7 of us she walks up to me and goes "hey you wanna dance"

    i reply with "uuh no thanks... i don't dance"

    "well would you like to anyways"

    "not particularly"

    so she grabs me up by the arms and drags me on the middle of the dance floor

    after the dance she went to get something to drink and i hightailed it out of there, so the rest of the dance, instead of chilling with my awesome friends i had to send them out in all directions to alert me of her presence. mind you it wasn't hard cause she was gigantic but man... she would not stop looking for me.

    slow songs were the worst because almost everyone cleared out and all i had to hide behind were a few couples

    Internet, am i a horrible person?

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    large as in a fatty?

    or just like really tall

    potatoe on
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    it's middle school

    so no

    You Bastard on
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  • Mikami TeruMikami Teru regular
    edited August 2007
    Zombot wrote: »
    Zombot wrote: »
    What was the line?
    We must know it.
    Do you want to become one with me? Do you want us to become one both mentally and physically? It would be so comfortable.

    why

    That's amazing.
    Out of all the lines from that stupid series, how did you pick that one?

    hahahaha jesus fucking christ

    Mikami Teru on
  • space_satanspace_satan __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    not me but a friend of mine.

    Myfriend: *drunk* hey, hows about i take you into that porta-potty and give you some diseases you never heard of.

    Random chick: *drives away fast*

    Me: Yeah! you tell her dude!

    space_satan on
  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    commie wrote: »
    Fat chick story.

    A couple weekends ago, I was dancing with this girl. One of those, 'let's grope each other and call it dancing' things.

    so, we danced to 3 or so songs, and she asks me if I'll dance with her friend.

    She motions Ms. Fatty Fat over, and she starts trying to grind on me.

    I make like I have to use the restroom, and get the fuck out of there.

    I like my girls shaped like girls, not meatwad.

    mcp on
  • LeXoAnvilLeXoAnvil Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    RainOPain wrote: »
    This thread needs more stories from LeXoAnvil

    That dude was awesome

    im back from work i have more i assure you

    LeXoAnvil on
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  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I once told one of my friends she looked like a high class hooker.

    That did not go down well at all.

    (she totally did though)

    Blake T on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited August 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Blaket wrote: »
    I once told one of my friends she looked like a high class hooker.

    That did not go down well at all.

    (she totally did though)

    It's all in the timing.

    chasm on
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  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    chasm wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    I once told one of my friends she looked like a high class hooker.

    That did not go down well at all.

    (she totally did though)

    It's all in the timing.

    It was a gold sequended top that was fucking loose.

    I saw her tits three times that night without even trying.

    Blake T on
  • LeXoAnvilLeXoAnvil Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ok so one time im at this party. people range from 17-21 so some people including myself were underage.
    apprently someones mother found out and called the police so the police are at the door and it continues like so......
    my friend tom(21): okay the police will be here in like 5 seconds if your underage get the fuck into the basement and dont fucking make a fucking sound or ill fucking kill you.
    my brother rich (21):any one over 21 continue drinking and continue playing beer pong the cops MUST think the party is being run by 21+ yr olds
    (at this point anyone underage goes to basement)
    police 1: we heard there was underage drinking going on tonight?
    tom: no officer there is PLENTY of drinking but were all of age
    police 2: is that a fact?
    tom: card us
    (procedes to do so)
    police 1: ok.....looks to be in order
    (slowly out the door they go)
    my GF: (LOUD AS FUCK) ARE THEY GONE IS IT SAFE TO DRINK!!!!!!
    (officer walks back in the door)
    police 2: did i just hear that correctully
    police 2 and my gf are in a staring contest at this point
    me:.......oh fuck
    turns out the police officer 2 was her brother so we got a strict ass warning

    LeXoAnvil on
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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    lol

    potatoe on
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    honestly

    I would have slapped her

    Skull Man on
  • LeXoAnvilLeXoAnvil Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    oh and because my brother and my friends are the forgiving type we were given forgivness under the condition we run around the block naked twice.

    ........our group has a party charter that states punishments for stupidity under section d4 i had to do it too cus i brought her there.

    LeXoAnvil on
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  • CogliostroCogliostro Marginal Opinions Spring, TXRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That is AWSOME.

    Ok, my 18th birthday party. My parents had moved to Vancouver, Washington and I had the house to myself. What do I do? I decide to go ahead and drink a little bit with some friends. Apparently a couple of them invited a few others. Anyway, someone calls the cops. I looked out the window just as I saw the car coming down the street. Thankfully most everyone was sitting down and being quiet... anyway, I had them all head into the tiniest little bathroom EVER. Seriously, 20 people crammed into a bathroom about 6 feet by 7 feet. It was hilarious.

    Anyway, cops come to the door and I had them convinced that it was just my boyfriend and me playing computer games and it was probably my brother being a dick.

    Good times, ya'all. What that had to do with women, I dunno.

    Stupidest thing I've ever said to a woman?

    "Jesus, Marna... do you really think you can pull off the whole sports bra thing?"

    Seriously, this chick was HUGE. And insisted on wearing a sports bra with nothing on underneath and short shorts.

    Don't judge me. I haven't tried to hit on a woman since I was like 15.

    Cogliostro on
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    oh wait, Lex

    you're just a liar

    never mind

    Skull Man on
  • LeXoAnvilLeXoAnvil Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    oh wait, Lex

    you're just a liar

    never mind

    me? i dont know what would give you that impression but your welcome to think what you want.
    frankly i dont give two shits :/

    LeXoAnvil on
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  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Blaket wrote: »
    chasm wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    I once told one of my friends she looked like a high class hooker.

    That did not go down well at all.

    (she totally did though)

    It's all in the timing.

    It was a gold sequended top that was fucking loose.

    I saw her tits three times that night without even trying.

    You should've tapped her on the shoulder and rescinded the "high class" part.

    chasm on
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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    you know who i love?

    i love cog

    he's my best friend evers

    potatoe on
  • space_satanspace_satan __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Me: Start eating a bit more and i might fuck you.

    Her: Wha-!?

    Me: i mean, you dont eat enough and your really thin. and i dont find you attractive, i didnt just say i'd fuck you. ignore me. i'll be over here.

    space_satan on
  • CogliostroCogliostro Marginal Opinions Spring, TXRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Space satan: There's a guy here who I think may want to bone but he has a girlfriend (she wants to watch, whole other can of cocks). He's about as big around as my leg. I'm afraid I'd break him.
    potatoe wrote: »
    you know who i love?

    i love cog

    he's my best friend evers

    potatoe you sexy bitch. Miss ya! :)

    Cogliostro on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    *muah muah*

    i should look into getting on vent again sometime

    potatoe on
  • CogliostroCogliostro Marginal Opinions Spring, TXRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    don't feel too bad, hon. I haven't been on vent in a while. You should get MSN, though. Srsly.

    Cogliostro on
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