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Spiders! And other horrors from nature...

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  • twispbytwispby Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    Yeah bot flys, candiru fish, fucking crazy tyranical dictators, what's not to love from our neighbors to the south. Shit lets not forget stealth camo super hunters.

    Are those the things that swim up your pee hole if you whiz in water?

    Because every time I think about those I grab myself and feel for any suspicious shapes down there.

    twispby on
    twispby.png
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    kadith

    what kind of sex-ed did you go to?

    I want in on it

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ugh little spiders are worse than the big ones sometimes

    once i was sitting at my computer in the basement, i had been noticing little black flecks all around me which i brushed aside, assuming they were fruit flies (which we always have copious amounts of living in the basement) I sorta spaced out from whatever i was doing at the moment and focused on one.

    the realization that a nest of baby spiders had hatched over my head and were now all over me was enough to send me into a sort of hysteria.
    i kind of rocked back in forth in the shower for an hour, fully clothed, just sitting there in the tub while dead baby spiders floated out of my hair and down the drain

    ugh i just shuddered real bad just remembering this.

    beavotron on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    once when I was a kid, some evil little girl chased me around with a stick full of baby spiders. I hate her to this day.

    but that isn't as awesome or horrifying as your story

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    spideryum.jpg

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    That's hilarious kan, did you do an overly dramatic speech ala Shatner when it was done?

    I just held out my foe's lifeless body on the end of my weapon (a broom) for inspection. When it was clear that it was dead I dropped it from the balcony into the dampness of the night while I stood triumphant at the railing.
    250px-AnakinCloneWars.jpg


    EDIT: HOLYWHATTHEFUCK Wren!?

    TankHammer on
  • anableanable North TexasRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wow. This thread is....just....wow....

    anable on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wren I demand to know why that little girl is eating a humongous fucking tarantula. I can't get back to work until I find out what is going on there.

    Please, just tell me it's a toy.

    TankHammer on
  • Sgt EversmanSgt Eversman Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    NAWM NAWM NAWM

    Sgt Eversman on
    Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.

    Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the outcome.
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    can't you see the pixels?

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • XythXyth Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wren I demand to know why that little girl is eating a humongous fucking tarantula. I can't get back to work until I find out what is going on there.

    Please, just tell me it's a toy.

    Man, she isn't eating it. It's emerging from her.

    Also: botfly removal youtube made me gag, those things were HUGE.

    Xyth on
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  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    botflies are just one of the many reasons countries like costa rica need to be nuked

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • XythXyth Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Then we would just get radioactive mutant botflys. Being bitten by one of those would probably turn you into the most repulsive superhero ever. "Botfly man"

    Xyth on
    slothsig.jpg
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Wren wrote: »
    can't you see the pixels?

    If it's a photoshop it's a fucking good one.

    TankHammer on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    the power to impregnate people with botflies would be a pretty rad superpower

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Man, that botfly youtube made my mouth water... I don't know why, and I am a little horrified with myself.

    In other news, don't EVER go to Africa.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-eyed_sand_spider

    misbehavin on
  • twispbytwispby Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Really, you would just end up with radioactive botflies that would be as big as a soda can when they emerged from their people-holes.

    twispby on
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  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    this hole..... it was made for me.....

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    drr... drr...

    PotU on
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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    twispby wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Yeah bot flys, candiru fish, fucking crazy tyranical dictators, what's not to love from our neighbors to the south. Shit lets not forget stealth camo super hunters.

    Are those the things that swim up your pee hole if you whiz in water?

    Because every time I think about those I grab myself and feel for any suspicious shapes down there.

    Well according to Dr Venture they are not real, but Dr. Venture is not a real doctor so I worry about the dick fish.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    They -are- real

    And I'm scared shitless of bees and wasps. I'm not even allergic, they just SCARE me.

    As in, my phobia's so bad that I'll wince at any flying insect because "OH GOD IT MIGHT BE A BEE"

    Wallhitter on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Yeah I am not a bee fan myself. My first time getting stung was behind my ear, I thought it was a fly but it was a wasp, sucker stung my ear so bad.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    A friend of mine has ZERO fear of insects. It was comical at times. He'd chase bees and punch them. If they stung them, he didn't care at all.

    He was a little NUTS in the head, but he was a cool guy.

    My favorite story was we went past a hornets nest and he got stung, and instead of being "Ow, lets avoid that!" like normal people, he got mad and PUNCHED THE HIVE!

    I ran away like a little girl and he had to go to the hospital from about two thousand bee stings, but it was the highlight of my life.

    misbehavin on
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    Yeah I am not a bee fan myself. My first time getting stung was behind my ear, I thought it was a fly but it was a wasp, sucker stung my ear so bad.

    Mine wasn't AWFUL but it sucked. A wasp crawled right up my sleeve and stung me.

    Wallhitter on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I stepped in a hornets nest once.

    the preschool adult people were all like "dont go there" so of course we were all, "LETS GO THERE"

    fucking covered in wasps. didn't get stung once. I think I'm wasp jesus

    wait was it hornets or wasps

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Well hornets are a basketball team, and wasps are a bunch of white people. So were you attacked by tall black people, or some white people?

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    God, this thread. That clock spider? Yeah I'd be absolutely paralyzed if I walked into a room and saw that. The only way I'd be able to get rid of it is at considerable range, so perhaps if I didn't care about my wall, I could nail gun the sucker to death.

    Also, good reminders about the baby spiders. I don't often look closely enough at spiders when I kill them, and join in on the emulation of young females were a baby spider bomb to go off on me.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Don't scream too much septus, a mouth is a spiders paradise. I haven't had the baby spider bomb go off on me, but I do the spastic monkey routine everytime I walk through a web of some kind.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I watched a roomate get spider-bombed. It was rather humorous watching him go from :D Gotcha! Nobody gets by m-whhhahaaaaa!? D:!!!

    TankHammer on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    Don't scream too much septus, a mouth is a spiders paradise. I haven't had the baby spider bomb go off on me, but I do the spastic monkey routine everytime I walk through a web of some kind.

    Oh my God, I didn't think about the mouth! How am I supposed to let out the utter terror?

    Shit, I think I'm going to have to keep a doctor's/painter's mask in my apartment at all times.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Just keep it in a well lit area, a spider good lay an egg inside there too, you'd be all "whew safe breathing... wait fucking crawly air" NOOOO!!!!!

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • twispbytwispby Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    When I was around 10 we had a beehive inside of the walls of an abandoned chicken coop on our acreage. My dad gave me some sort of aerosol can and told me to spray it inside one of the holes that the bees came in and out. I think it was supposed to make them slow and drowsy and then kill them

    Instead it enraged the bees and they attacked me. I managed to only get stung on the bottom lip, but that was a really shitty place to get a bee sting.

    My dad taped the whole thing and laughed at me. Kind of a jerk.

    twispby on
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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    There's no kind of to that, total dick move. I bet that tape is hilarious, fucking hornet bit my lip once, shit swelled up like an eddie murphy movie.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Guys:

    Lighter + aerosol can + insect hive = pure win.

    msuitepyon on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    See I always think something like that would end up like this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_mCUfmtTKc

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    My mom once taped up a hole that hornets were coming out of and the hornets ate the tape!

    So we moved.

    misbehavin on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Never had a hive around my house. Worst was a hornets nest under the roof of my parents porch. I just sprayed some foamy shit on the little mud tunnel that led inside and they were all gone within a week.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
  • twispbytwispby Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Preacher wrote: »
    There's no kind of to that, total dick move. I bet that tape is hilarious, fucking hornet bit my lip once, shit swelled up like an eddie murphy movie.

    It is 3 minutes of shaky-cam wherein a young boy with a bowl cut nervously approaches a hole filled with bees, sprays them, and then runs around flailing and screaming in a pitch only prepubescent boys can hit.

    I can't wait to do stuff like that to my future children.

    twispby on
    twispby.png
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Spiders creep me the fuck out, I have to get my female roommate to get rid of them for me.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Twisp that shit just cracked me up man.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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