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TV Edits: Movie Lines That Got Better

KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Social Entropy++
I saw Scarface edited for TV the other day. wtf right? I always thought the point of Scarface was to show teenagers how cool cursing is and to show thugs how cool it would be to have a pile of coke so big that all you had to do is put your face in it an inhale.

I mean what would Scarface be without the bad words and chainsaw?

As I was watching it I realized: some of the lines are actually better when edited for TV! One thing you learn fast is that these guys love their mothers a whole lot.

Best line from the TV version of Scarface?
Where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eatin' pineapple?

Anybody notice this in other TV-edited movies?

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Krentz on
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Posts

  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Major League
    'I want you to strike this guy out'

    Auntie Shibby on
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  • candanaviancandanavian Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The price is WRONG.....Bobby

    candanavian on
    firamedferris5.jpgfavicon.ico favicon.ico favicon.ico
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    bloodyroarxx on
  • candanaviancandanavian Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    What was that thing we used to eat all the time back in high school?

    Oh yeah...pancakes

    candanavian on
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  • candanaviancandanavian Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    those are from Happy Gilmore and Half Baked, respectively

    duh

    candanavian on
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  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    <<Busted out laughing at work. I never heard of Lebowski on TV. I NEED to see it.

    Krentz on
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  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2007
    Krentz wrote: »
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    <<Busted out laughing at work. I never heard of Lebowski on TV. I NEED to see it.
    I bet they cut the whole Bowling Jesus thing out.

    Auntie Shibby on
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  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Auntie Shibby wrote: »
    Krentz wrote: »
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    <<Busted out laughing at work. I never heard of Lebowski on TV. I NEED to see it.
    I bet they cut the whole Bowling Jesus thing out.

    Ugh, that would be more blasphemous than that scene was in the first place.

    NOBODY SCREWS WITH DA GEESUS

    Krentz on
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  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    oh my god, lol

    Goatmon on
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  • DocshiftyDocshifty Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    There was a There's Something About Mary one that always stuck with me.

    "You froggin' ashpole!" I heard that and my mind shut down for a moment trying to comprehend it.

    Docshifty on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited August 2007
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YHXdnWLvH4

    Best TV censored line ever.

    "This is what happens when you feed a soldier scrambled eggs!"

    bombardier on
  • allsportgame17allsportgame17 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    BloodyRoarXX wrote: »
    Big Lebowski

    "This is what you get when you find a stranger in the alps!"

    Haha that is the first thing I thought of when I saw the name of this thread.

    allsportgame17 on
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I always look forward to the tv version of Scream because all the "Fuck you!"s become "Forget you!"s

    Redeemer on
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  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited August 2007
    Best TV edit I ever watched was Boogie Nights.

    They did a fucking brilliant job.

    Rankenphile on
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  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    Best TV edit I ever watched was Boogie Nights.

    They did a fucking brilliant job.

    Did they still show... you know... it?

    Because if not, some ladies seriously missed out.

    Best rubber penis ever.

    Krentz on
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  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hands down best censored line ever?

    "Yippie Kai Yay, Melonfarmer!"

    SA on
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  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Liar Liar.


    "What are you doing?"

    "I'm kicking my buuuuuuuuuutt!"

    Khavall on
  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    SA wrote: »
    Hands down best censored line ever?

    "Yippie Kai Yay, Melonfarmer!"
    Khavall wrote: »
    Liar Liar.


    "What are you doing?"

    "I'm kicking my buuuuuuuuuutt!"

    doublelol

    Krentz on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Docshifty wrote: »
    There was a There's Something About Mary one that always stuck with me.

    "You froggin' ashpole!" I heard that and my mind shut down for a moment trying to comprehend it.

    They also call each other "beanbags" about five hundred times.


    Happy Gilmore edit:

    "I'll have a sandwich."

    He originally requested some sort of brand beer, which I guess they can't advertise for on broadcast TV.

    But the best line from the film:

    "It's like a golfer with an arm growing out of hisFACE."

    That is how the line is delivered. It is almost shouted, and by a different person than who was in the film.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • mastmanmastman Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Die Hard 2 is incredible edited. I only wish I could find some examples

    mastman on
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    B.net: Kusanku
  • candanaviancandanavian Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    goddamn it I already posted the best Happy Gilmore edit

    nobody ever reads my posts, even though they are hilarious and brilliant

    candanavian on
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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The last one I can remember is watching Blade Trinity on TNT a while back where the guy yells "Not a vampire, DRUMSTICK!" I assume he originally said dipshit or something similar. But "drumstick" was shouted at top volume by a completely different person.

    It really ruined the immersion for me.

    Grey Ghost on
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I wish movie producers would just make a "TV" version of all movies, so we could avoid the HORRIBLE voice-acting done by voice-over people. They rarely even try to match the voice. I once saw a movie that had a man dubbed over by a woman!

    misbehavin on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Want a few unexpected laughs? Go BUY the Shaun of the Dead DVD. They have a clip of the airline/TV version if the movie. The clip is of the scene wherein Shaun & his roommates get into a big fight.... they yell "FUNKING" instead of the real f-word. I lol'd quite a bit at that!

    Also, many times I have seen a movie on cable or TV where a line will be bleeped or edited, but the Closed Captioning will contain the original naughty language. What's up with that? O_o

    Curly_Brace on
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Curly_Brace wrote: »
    Want a few unexpected laughs? Go BUY the Shaun of the Dead DVD. They have a clip of the airline/TV version if the movie. The clip is of the scene wherein Shaun & his roommates get into a big fight.... they yell "FUNKING" instead of the real f-word. I lol'd quite a bit at that!

    Also, many times I have seen a movie on cable or TV where a line will be bleeped or edited, but the Closed Captioning will contain the original naughty language. What's up with that? O_o

    Deaf people don't count.

    misbehavin on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    misbehavin wrote: »
    Curly_Brace wrote: »
    Want a few unexpected laughs? Go BUY the Shaun of the Dead DVD. They have a clip of the airline/TV version if the movie. The clip is of the scene wherein Shaun & his roommates get into a big fight.... they yell "FUNKING" instead of the real f-word. I lol'd quite a bit at that!

    Also, many times I have seen a movie on cable or TV where a line will be bleeped or edited, but the Closed Captioning will contain the original naughty language. What's up with that? O_o

    Deaf people don't count.
    Bad: I got bottom'd.

    Good: Someone quoted said post.

    Bad: See inevitable bad joke about deaf people above.

    Good: We got it out of the way, at least.

    Curly_Brace on
  • CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'm glad that they show unedited versions of movies on Virgin Atlantic, but at the same time I'm not.

    Like, if there's a lot of nudity, and there happen to be old people sitting next to you.

    CrossBuster on
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  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Curly_Brace wrote: »
    misbehavin wrote: »
    Curly_Brace wrote: »
    Want a few unexpected laughs? Go BUY the Shaun of the Dead DVD. They have a clip of the airline/TV version if the movie. The clip is of the scene wherein Shaun & his roommates get into a big fight.... they yell "FUNKING" instead of the real f-word. I lol'd quite a bit at that!

    Also, many times I have seen a movie on cable or TV where a line will be bleeped or edited, but the Closed Captioning will contain the original naughty language. What's up with that? O_o

    Deaf people don't count.
    Bad: I got bottom'd.

    Good: Someone quoted said post.

    Bad: See inevitable bad joke about deaf people above.

    Good: We got it out of the way, at least.

    I would have been ashamed at myself had I not made the joke. Seriously, ashamed!

    misbehavin on
  • UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Office Space:

    "Federal Pound-Me-Into-Ash Prison"

    Ubik on
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  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I think it was the faculty, where they replaced all the fucks with "fooey!"

    HadjiQuest on
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    candanavian wrote: »
    goddamn it I already posted the best Happy Gilmore edit

    nobody ever reads my posts, even though they are hilarious and brilliant

    I think people might make it a point to not read it now

    Redeemer on
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  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I want to see Team America: World Police on TV. I tried to imagine what they would do with the speech at the end but I couldn't come up with anything.

    Krentz on
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  • BigDesBigDes Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    That bit in Robocop where the crook runs through the store screaming "fuck me, we killed you" at the top of his voice became

    "Fridge me, we killed you"

    BigDes on
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  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Krentz wrote: »
    I want to see Team America: World Police on TV. I tried to imagine what they would do with the speech at the end but I couldn't come up with anything.

    They show it uncensored on Comedy Central late at night.

    SA on
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    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    mastman wrote: »
    Die Hard 2 is incredible edited. I only wish I could find some examples

    Ah, yes. The "I HATE PEOPLE" sign.

    SA on
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    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • GraydeathGraydeath Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hot Fuzz has a TV version in the extras as well.

    Best line is when the priest yells "Peas and Rice!"

    Graydeath on
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Also, bravo for Joss Whedon filling "Firefly" with Mandarin swears! I wish I knew Chinese now :(

    (One of the lines in Mandarin was translated by a fan to mean "Frog-humping son of a bitch!" That's good stuff.)

    And don't get me started on how boobies are horrible things never to be shown on TV, yet serial killers doing all sorts of gross stuff? Sure! Don't forget the autopsy scene!

    Curly_Brace on
  • duraxdurax Who watches the watchdogs? Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    slug in a DITCH!

    durax on
  • EndomaticEndomatic Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    "Bite my crust!"
    Instead of
    "Suck my dick."

    I forget which movie it was, as I heard about it second hand.

    Endomatic on
  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    God these are all hilarious.

    Why did I start this thread at work?

    Krentz on
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