What sort of babies did you have for lunch?

lostwords

Jordyn wrote: »

FAQ wrote: »

but Jordyn if there were no such thing as children there would be no abortions. Then how would you feel

Hmmm

It would be bad for business...

You can always go later term. 40th trimester abortions.

Skull Man

look basically children sometimes grow up to be batman or The Flash

so I mean

FAQ

lostwords wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

FAQ wrote: »

but Jordyn if there were no such thing as children there would be no abortions. Then how would you feel

Hmmm

It would be bad for business...

You can always go later term. 40th trimester abortions.

Is it too late to abort my father?

Kuribo's Shoe

YOU WERE DARTH REVAN ALL ALONG

Hunter

I hope that if my wife and I are ever brutally murdered in the street in front on my son, he'll honor my death by growing up to be a masked vigilante.

Voth

I have to have mine over easy. Something about having that bare yokes staring me in the face makes me lose my appetite.

denihilist

Hunter wrote: »

denihilist wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

3. Can't dance

A complete untruth. I point you to: The Pee-Pee Dance.

Pee-Pee Dance Dance Revolution.

It's like Dance Dance Revolution, only you really have to piss the whole time you're playing.

I still do the pee-pee dance.

Hunter

denihilist wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

denihilist wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

3. Can't dance

A complete untruth. I point you to: The Pee-Pee Dance.

Pee-Pee Dance Dance Revolution.

It's like Dance Dance Revolution, only you really have to piss the whole time you're playing.

I still do the pee-pee dance.

Every time I try to wash dishes by hand, the warm water makes me do the pee-pee dance and I have to run to the bathroom.

Jordyn

At our wedding, all the little kids wanted to fight me on the big inflatable joust thing.

They were lining up for me to hit them.

Rage

Man

Kids are awesome

Well, mine is anyway.

Kuribo's Shoe

I hate children. Except for Rage's, I guess.

Kadith

kids are okay until they can talk

and as long so you can give them to someone else when they are being gross

Hunter

I like my son, but I hate children in general.

Skull Man

my little sister is pretty great

she is eight

Faricazy

Hunter wrote: »

I like my son, but I hate children in general.

"Eh, you're allright son. I guess."

Hunter

Faricazy wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

I like my son, but I hate children in general.

"Eh, you're allright son. I guess."

Children are annoying, needy, and messy. I tolerate my son because I love him and he's my offspring. He gets a pass. All other children are not my responsibility, so I don't give a crap.

Jordyn

One Christmas I was at home in my little brother's room playing Nintendo with him. All of a sudden he says he's done for a bit, gets up and starts cleaning his room.

Just starts cleaning it. Putting everything where it's supposed to go, piling his laundry up, everything.

I ask him what he's doing.

"Cleaning my room."

It was so fucking weird.

Faricazy

watching young children play is sometimes scary

they're all tribal and shit

Skull Man

damned kids

Hunter

Faricazy wrote: »

watching young children play is sometimes scary

they're all tribal and shit

Even worse, they go from friends to instantly violent to one another. There's no transition.

My son does that even with me. We go from awesome good time to crazed demon child and tantrum. Two year olds are a pain in the ass.

PotU

I hate it when children cry, it's so goddamn annyoing. It's like there's a fucking scream contest going on and your kid just has to win.

And then, a moment later, they are all It's cool again, I wasn't really crying, just wanted to be a fucking pain in the ass.

Jordyn

My cousin, who's a year older than my little brother, was ridiculously violent. He would just run up and punch someone for no reason. He pissed me off a great number of times, and his parents would never discipline him, which is the same parenting technique they use on all their kids.

Then one day at our grandma's house, he hit my little brother with a pool cue, and I fucking lost it. Before anyone could even attempt to stop me, I was down the stairs just screaming at the kid. Just yelling about how stupid it is to think that hitting people is right. I wasn't all "let's sit down and talk about why what you did is wrong." I was so goddamn angry.

After that he never fucking acted up around me again.

FAQ

Man parents who don't discipline there child are fucking them up so badly. They think there fucking great parents as well. I saw a woman being smacked by her child, and she just kept asking him to stop and explaining why what he was doing was wrong. You can't reason with kids, if they can get away with something they will do it.

fightinfilipino

Jordyn wrote: »

My cousin, who's a year older than my little brother, was ridiculously violent. He would just run up and punch someone for no reason. He pissed me off a great number of times, and his parents would never discipline him, which is the same parenting technique they use on all their kids.

Then one day at our grandma's house, he hit my little brother with a pool cue, and I fucking lost it. Before anyone could even attempt to stop me, I was down the stairs just screaming at the kid. Just yelling about how stupid it is to think that hitting people is right. I wasn't all "let's sit down and talk about why what you did is wrong." I was so goddamn angry.

After that he never fucking acted up around me again.

i wonder sometimes how relatives come up with things about how they have "crazy uncles" or "weirdo grandparents."

you should take comfort in the fact that ten years from now, that cousin is probably going to consider you the "psycho cousin."

Rage

Wait wait wait

A jousty thing at a wedding

I'm still trying to wrap my head around that particular level of awesome

Jordyn

fightinfilipino wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

My cousin, who's a year older than my little brother, was ridiculously violent. He would just run up and punch someone for no reason. He pissed me off a great number of times, and his parents would never discipline him, which is the same parenting technique they use on all their kids.

Then one day at our grandma's house, he hit my little brother with a pool cue, and I fucking lost it. Before anyone could even attempt to stop me, I was down the stairs just screaming at the kid. Just yelling about how stupid it is to think that hitting people is right. I wasn't all "let's sit down and talk about why what you did is wrong." I was so goddamn angry.

After that he never fucking acted up around me again.

i wonder sometimes how relatives come up with things about how they have "crazy uncles" or "weirdo grandparents."

you should take comfort in the fact that ten years from now, that cousin is probably going to consider you the "psycho cousin."

Hey as long as he never tries to hit my brother again.

Also, I fucking hate all of my uncle's kids. They don't fucking listen to anyone.

Hunter

I have an on-going mini feud with my wife's family because I've forbidden my nephew from visiting my house until they can get him to listen to simple commands. The kid is out of control, and they do shit because that would mean curbing his creative expression. In reality they're lazy fucks who want to spend more time partying then watching the kid because he was "unplanned".

My opinion is him smashing objects into the wall on purpose and trying to attack the cat is not creative expression, it's him being an uncontrollable little hooligan that doesn't get disciplined. They don't enjoy my frankness on the matter and I promised to smack him on the ass next time he does that in my house. It didn't go over well.

M.D.

Kids are alright, I usually end up baby sitting for my cousin.

Jordyn

Rage wrote: »

Wait wait wait

A jousty thing at a wedding

I'm still trying to wrap my head around that particular level of awesome

well

it was at the reception.

Shorn Scrotum Man

I had a buffalo chicken sandwich and onion rings. Water to drink.

Saph

I smacked my younger cousin's head into a wall, which stopped him being a pain in the ass around me. I also made it clear that I do not like him.

Kids learn when you hit their head real hard.

Kuribo's Shoe

Saph wrote: »

I smacked my younger cousin's head into a wall, which stopped him being a pain in the ass around me. I also made it clear that I do not like him.

Kids learn when you hit their head real hard.

so what exactly did he do

or were you just filled with anger at his presence

PotU

Kuribo's Shoe wrote: »

Saph wrote: »

I smacked my younger cousin's head into a wall, which stopped him being a pain in the ass around me. I also made it clear that I do not like him.

Kids learn when you hit their head real hard.

so what exactly did he do

or were you just filled with anger at his presence

I'm sure this motherfucker was all about how he wanted to be like Saph when he was older.

Bitch deserved it.

Faricazy

BITCH DONT BE STEPPIN ON MY HOS

Jordyn

God one of my cousins...I'm not even sure I can explain this right.

She pretends to be interested in things I like, which I find incredibly annoying. Last Christmas I had gotten some JLU figures from Fram and ended up with two Batmans. Batmen? Whatever. She asks me if she can have the extra one. I look at her blankly.

"You like Batman."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I'm not opening these til I get home, sorry."

I tell her though that my brother Logan and I are going to watch some Justice League on the projection screen later and if she actually does like Batman she can join us.

Yeah, she joined us for about two minutes, and I gave the Batman figure to Logan since I realized he didn't have one.

Faricazy

logan eh

Jordyn

How did you know eh was his middle name

Saph

My cousin used to be a horrible human being who was set straight by the rude awakening that patience wears thin.

He has a disability where the left side of his body isn't as developed as the right, this slows his development but the truth is that he is a fully functional human being, who plays football (soccer) with his older brothers and beat me at Mario Kart despite him being 10 and me being 16.

He tried to exploit that disability to get away with whatever he wanted, but I saw through it.

Faricazy

Jordyn wrote: »

How did you know eh was his middle name

i know these things

the schwartz is with me

Jordyn

I know I've told this story once before, but I love it, so here goes.

The day before my little brother's 7th birthday, he had a glass of chocolate milk. He didn't quite finish it all, and left it in his room. The day after his birthday, his stepdad finds the glass with the now rather gross milk in the bottom. He says to my brother, "Logan! You seven now! You know better!"

Logan kinda looks at him and then says "Well, Marty. I was six when I left it there."