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ManonvonSuperock

clipped.

teamquiggan

Are your dudes hobbits?

ManonvonSuperock

teamquiggan wrote: »

Are your dudes hobbits?

Ha! They might as well be. I dig the idea of having the two main characters with short, stumpy, almost Astroboy proportions while everyone else is more normal in comparison. The (video game) comic was one of our first, and they were even shorter, and weirder looking then.

teamquiggan

I think the art's pretty solid, putting aside the weird hobbity-ness of it, which is kinda cool. I looked through your archives and you should shy away from copy and pasting panels, you don't have to have your two dudes on the couch. That is an uninteresting choice. You could have them at the supermarket again and have the dude with the black hair belting it out at the woman with junk in her trunk. Make it like some sort of throwback joke. cuz right now, I think that one is one of your weakest, also, make a more strict development schedule, you get better, faster, if you put out comics sooner then every 3 months or so, try bi-weekly, at least, if you want return visitors, you want your visitors to think you are dependable for content, a slipshod whenever its done release schedule does not make people come back everyday just to check. Also your comic is better then several Ive seen.

Mayday

THaT COMIC.


IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS

if you didn't translate the Russian.

ManonvonSuperock

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bombardier

Hahaha the first one is gold, but yeah leave the translation in the alt text.

The people who complained it was missing are idiots and you shouldn't listen to them but listen to us instead because we know better, ok?

TimTheSloth

I'm trying to figure out what's going on in the 6th panel of the second comic and my brain is about to explode...

ManonvonSuperock

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Shiekahn_boy

I knew it was a dead body. But how did she die? Was she a hooker with a penis and they killed her?

Hewn

I had a hard time with the 6th panel in comic 2 as well. I figured it out, given the sequence of events, but upon first viewing it was a very "WTF?" situation.

ManonvonSuperock

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Scumdogg

ManonvonSuperock wrote: »

TimTheSloth wrote: »

I'm trying to figure out what's going on in the 6th panel of the second comic and my brain is about to explode...

They're trying to load a dead Asian hooker wrapped up in a bloody sheet into the trunk of a 1954 Canary Yellow Buick Skylark...

Anyone else having problems making out the contents of that cramped panel?

Any slight lingering doubts i had about you and your comic were erased with this one beautiful explanation. I'll be bookmarkin' ya now.

Mykonos

compared to what's been splattered on this board, your stuff is actually really good. The art style is unique and the quality itself is very consistent and, dare I say it, professional. As far as writing and comedic value, I would advise removing the seventh panel in the first comic so when the bear mauls that dude so it would have a greater contrast to the fifth panel to where he's smiling innocently [first time i ever laughed from a comic placed here, great drawing]. You can also have the guy yell a single word of disapproval [*Wronge!;Repeat!; etc] in the panel where he slams his board on the bears head so as to keep the fluidness of the story contained. Also, this comic affords you alot more depth than you may realize. For example the fact that your using russian is rather unique, so perhaps you can tie this in both our countries awkward relations in the past, and instead of having the bear answer "mwar" perhaps you can fool the reader it saying something russian (so the bear was actually getting it right, just saying something in a different language *may not fly well but that's why you need to experiment.)

Honestly you have alot of potential. I'm still cracking up over that bears smiling face.


Oh and quick question, how long has it taken you to draw those comics? I ask only because they very well done and you need to make sure you can keep up that consistency without getting burnt out should you decide to have it published online.

ManonvonSuperock

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NibCrom

Does "The Rear Account" mean something? I honestly don't get it. Is it a reference or something?

ManonvonSuperock

v

NakedElf

To me, there are two main problems with the aforementioned panel six of panel two. The first is that they're standing *beside* the car while trying to open the trunk from behind. That isn't just awkward, it's not how you open a trunk. Second, the colors in the panel seem to be very similar to each other, making it difficult to tell what's what. The Mario-hobbit's hair is similar in color to the building behind him; the car bumper is a similar color to his pants; and both men have skintone similar to the sheet.

In the first comic, I'm a little unclear on this, is he saying the word "monosyllabic" three times, or just once? And does the bear say "Roar bitch"? Or are only the words in word balloons actually being spoken?

ManonvonSuperock

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hamburger helper

Mayday wrote: »

THaT COMIC.


IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS

if you didn't translate the Russian.

Agreed, I would it.

Don't really care for the others. I guess I don't really get the verb punchline in the second comic.

ManonvonSuperock

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ManonvonSuperock

EDIT: Moved into the OP, hiding into spoiler:

So, I've made a new one, let me know what you guys think work and what doesn't.

If you guys aren't familiar with the song, here it is.

Mykonos

I'm not sure what to think on that one, because being familiar with both the Styx and the song I have a sort of appreciation for the comic, but at the same time, your using seven frames in creating a massive build up to a punch line that was both generic and underwhelming. It's further weakened by sense that it seems the punch line is riding on the sole purpose of giving your audience a reference to the source of the lyrics, as its obviouse you've anticipated (but rightfully so) that a vast number of them would have no idea what the hell that guy is singing.

bombardier

I liked it! Even if it's a bit long for one 'punchline' the rest of the panels are really fun.

RubberAC

reminds me of the super long calvin and hobbes strips with them dancing/fighting

ManonvonSuperock

clipped.

Mykonos

My attempt with the comic was to try and make it visually entertaining enough to make up for the cliché gag.

Well I still crack up at that goofy ass smiling bear of yours, and yes you did succeed in this department with your last one. I'm just curiouser what that green stuff is he spilled ove the pizza. Pesto?

bombardier

It's...

It's a spice. Thyme. So what you're saying is that you didn't even get the pun, yet you're criticizing his use of one?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thyme

Mykonos

actually, i misread his response to me, and I edited my last post accordingly. Initially I thought he was implying he went for a blunt response vice attempting a lame pun that would have came out far weaker. You know, forget it, I'm too graugy atm to try and clarify so here's my final comps at his consistency and style.

falconire

Hey, just want to say very nice work, I was surprised how much I liked it.

ManonvonSuperock

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beavotron

i like all this stuff. it's unique, art is good, i chuckled at a few, your only weakness is in some of the writing and panel composition but those have been heavily commented on and will improve with experience i'm sure.
great work.

Tonkka

Man, I remember staring at these when I was working on the Xmas thing...

ManonvonSuperock

So this is the first of a two page, dialogless action sequence starring the character shown here.

This is the preliminary sketch:


General layout:

Panel one: Hero viewing soviet occupied building in Estonian city from a separate rooftop.

Panel two: soviet officer 1 facing camera, radio equipment and soviet estonian flag behind him. soviet officer 2 facing soviet officer one, back towards camera

Panel three:soviet officer one startled by "dunk" at window

Panel four: officer one getting hit by rock thrown through window.

Panel five: officer two looks out window

panel six: hero kicks officer two while entering window

panel seven: hero leaves explosive on radio equip, exits room

panel eight: hero walks up stairs down the hallway from room where radio equip explodes

In progress, obviously. The radio eqipment will have an interface on it. Let me know where I'm going in the right or wrong direction.

Thanks.

nakirush

There are some very serious perspective issues in the first panel. I count no less than three different perspectives going on at once.

RubberAC

Soviet facing away from us has a tiny head