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A Giant Lasso
hideo
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi. I love arguing, don't you?
Picture this: you go to the park with a few friends to watch the little kids cry after falling off the swings. While someone loosens the chains, you notice Mike wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt, so you give him some stick. He makes some comments about his relationship with your mom, so you try to set him straight in the brief time you have before he starts cutting himself - about three hours. It does not work. Michelle is unmoved by your rock solid arguments. Like your ex-girlfriend, he refuses to take it on the chin, or even swallow his pride. No amount of rhetoric can change his mind and soon you just have to send him home crying fat black drops of mascara. Not a pretty sight.
Anyway, while cleaning my bruised knuckles I started thinking - when was the last time I honest to Godly managed to convince anyone about anything. Change their point of view to mine. Set them on the true path of wisdom. Then I subtracted people who were my friends and nodded along just to please me, while their eyes tried to hide at the back of their head.
I came up with a fat zero.
Now subtract the amount of people arguing about stuff from the total mass of the internet. You'll be left with... well what? A few pron sites? Taking this line of thought to its inevitable conclusion the Internet becomes just a collosal waste of time and obstacle to human development. If all the energy that believers and atheists spend tapping their keyboard everyday was harnessed for good, we'd probably BE God by now. Caps Lock would never have been inverted. Harry would not have died. Etc.
So my suggestion is, kill the internet and use the spare bandwidth to make a giant lasso and travel amongst the stars. Whatdya think? That's right.
Yeehaw.
Picture this: you go to the park with a few friends to watch the little kids cry after falling off the swings. While someone loosens the chains, you notice Mike wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt, so you give him some stick. He makes some comments about his relationship with your mom, so you try to set him straight in the brief time you have before he starts cutting himself - about three hours. It does not work. Michelle is unmoved by your rock solid arguments. Like your ex-girlfriend, he refuses to take it on the chin, or even swallow his pride. No amount of rhetoric can change his mind and soon you just have to send him home crying fat black drops of mascara. Not a pretty sight.
Anyway, while cleaning my bruised knuckles I started thinking - when was the last time I honest to Godly managed to convince anyone about anything. Change their point of view to mine. Set them on the true path of wisdom. Then I subtracted people who were my friends and nodded along just to please me, while their eyes tried to hide at the back of their head.
I came up with a fat zero.
Now subtract the amount of people arguing about stuff from the total mass of the internet. You'll be left with... well what? A few pron sites? Taking this line of thought to its inevitable conclusion the Internet becomes just a collosal waste of time and obstacle to human development. If all the energy that believers and atheists spend tapping their keyboard everyday was harnessed for good, we'd probably BE God by now. Caps Lock would never have been inverted. Harry would not have died. Etc.
So my suggestion is, kill the internet and use the spare bandwidth to make a giant lasso and travel amongst the stars. Whatdya think? That's right.
Yeehaw.
hideo on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
I basically have the collected knowledge of human civilization at my fingertips right now, and the only two things you can think of that people use the internet for are "arguing" and "pornography?"
Seriously, what the fuck? I can list ten things off the top of my head that would be a hundred times harder without the internet. Jesus.
Also, this contraption is a global educator.
Is there anything resembling a coherent thought in the OP?
In other non-cliches, it's a tool that can be used for both good or evil.
'course, that'd be even more ironic than posting an anti-internet rant here.