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Burning stuff with Nero

hideohideo Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Social Entropy++
Age -37

Jesus dies. Invents Christians - also tinder.

December 15, AD 37

I emerge from mother's canal. Everything is gloopy. Upset. Yell a lot. Everyone has long, complicated names. I decide to be crazy.

Age 3

Father swells up and pops like a ripe tomato shot in the pips. Whole family embarassed. If I was'nt crazy by now I would be now. Mother exiled, but fire invented. This is pleasing.

Age 4

We return from exile. Things happen.

Age 7

Nothing much happens. Make invisible friends to pass time.

Age 12

Mother marries Emperor Claudius. He seems nice, in a flabby sort of way. I start asking embarassing questions about girls. Where DO they hide the nuts??

Age 13

Adopted as Emperor's son! Am now called Nero. It is Oren, spelled backwards.

Age 14

Enter adulthood. Appointed proconsul and face featured on coins. Meet step-sister. I hate her.

Age 16

Fall in love with step-sister. Marry step-sister. Feel dirty. Voices start talking again.

Age 17

Mother poisons the Emperor with shrooms! That's one trip he won't be coming back from, har har har. Become new emperor! I ruel.

Age 18

Poison half-brother. He had a better singing voice. Mother hates new girlfriend. Expel mother from palace.

Age 22

Kill mother for something, can't remember. Kill lots of people, including Boudicea. Kill some senators. Run out of interesting people to kill. Start getting bored.

Age 27

Set fire to Rome. Play fiddle, watch fire. Sing songs. After fire blame Christians. Set some on fire, rest throw to dogs. Win poetry competition. Am awesome.

Age 31

Stab self. Die.

hideo on
«1

Posts

  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    hideo wrote: »
    Stab self. Die.

    I'd appreciate it.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    :O mmm

    Zonkytonkman on
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    a timeline is a timeline is a timeline

    You Bastard on
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  • ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i'd like to see a timline of timelines

    Zonkytonkman on
  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    my World of Rome class is coming back to me now

    QuestionMarkMan on
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    So I guess nothing exciting happened between 22 and 27. What a shlameel

    Meissnerd on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i thought this would be after the software

    Faricazy on
  • SLAMMUSLAMMU Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    New thread on your first day?

    At least you made it count, I suppose.

    SLAMMU on
    SLAMMU-1.png
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I am a prophet and using my God given powers, I am going to save the forum twenty pages and post what's going to happen very soon:
    Bill Brasky
    Chuck Norris
    Carlos Hathcock
    Audie Murphy
    Otto Skorkenzy
    The Guy That Cut His Own Arm Off
    Maddox
    The Word Badass Five Hundred Times

    And done.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    eww invader zim

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    You forgot the time you made your house consul in the senate

    DrIanMalcolm on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    Oh. OH! OH!

    Invader Zim avatar.

    Explains a lot.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • SLAMMUSLAMMU Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    PotU wrote: »
    Oh. OH! OH!

    Invader Zim avatar.

    Explains a lot.

    shhhh

    leave some for teefs.

    SLAMMU on
    SLAMMU-1.png
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Let's talk about feminism.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    SLAMMU wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Oh. OH! OH!

    Invader Zim avatar.

    Explains a lot.

    shhhh

    leave some for teefs.

    You mean Keith.

    Keefs.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Let's talk about feminism.

    In my experience, most feminists are women/feminine.

    Meissnerd on
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    women are things

    You Bastard on
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  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    Let's talk about feminism.

    In my experience, most feminists are women/feminine.

    are you sure about that one

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    I bought 3 women for the price of 2.

    Wasn't worth it.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    zephyr you can't talk about feminism until you graduate high school

    classic pipthefair in three two one

    You Bastard on
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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    what the hell

    PiptheFair on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    that's pretty darn good for a first thread

    Faricazy on
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Zephyr wrote: »
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    Let's talk about feminism.

    In my experience, most feminists are women/feminine.

    are you sure about that one

    I'm pretty sure feminism is letting girls open the door for you.

    Meissnerd on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    PotU wrote: »
    SLAMMU wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Oh. OH! OH!

    Invader Zim avatar.

    Explains a lot.

    shhhh

    leave some for teefs.

    You mean Keith.

    Keefs.

    They should stop beating around the bush and do it already.

    I guess Keith would still be beating around the bush.

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    h hahahahahahahaha

    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=35949

    his post in D&D

    it's actually awesome

    Faricazy on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    Also, Nero didn't set fire.

    He blamed the Christians for it, but he didn't set it.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I was at a party yesterday for the school's newspaper.

    When my friends and I walked in, we thought that we were at the wrong place. Everyone was way more hip and way more gay than any of us or the people we usually hung out with. When we made it to the back we then saw a bunch of people that we recognized.

    But there was more gays and lesbians at that party that I have ever seen at once. I was talking to a friend by the keg and Tegan and Sara came on the speaker. He was momentarily confused. His friend asked him why he was confused.

    He didn't think that this was the kind of party that would play that band. He paused for a second and then asked, "Are there any lesbians here." My other friend and I looked around for anyone that would have heard that. Fortunately no one did.

    I didn't need my ass getting kicked by a pack of lesbians today.

    Again.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • You BastardYou Bastard Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure feminism is letting girls open the door for you.

    and letting them choose the race track when playing Mario Kart

    You Bastard on
    bonertownbanner.gif
  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    Let's talk about feminism.

    In my experience, most feminists are women/feminine.

    Really? My experience is probably the opposite. Okay, about even.


    And don't be dissing Zim.

    Jimothy on
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Hahahaha

    Meissnerd on
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Jimothy wrote: »
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    Let's talk about feminism.

    In my experience, most feminists are women/feminine.

    Really? My experience is probably the opposite. Okay, about even.


    And don't be dissing Zim.

    i will diss zim and you can't stop me

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Fiz wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    SLAMMU wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Oh. OH! OH!

    Invader Zim avatar.

    Explains a lot.

    shhhh

    leave some for teefs.

    You mean Keith.

    Keefs.

    They should stop beating around the bush and do it already.

    I guess Keith would still be beating around the bush.

    Gross

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Oh Redeemer stop being so grossed out

    Meissnerd on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    List of deemer's post for today:

    gross

    resident evil silent hill

    gross

    gross

    gay

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    PotU wrote: »
    List of deemer's post for today:

    gross

    resident evil silent hill

    gross

    gross

    gay

    You mean every day

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Maybe if you people would be a little less gross or a little more gay

    Fiz on
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  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    man redeemer is right though vaginas are pretty gross to look at

    Kusuguttai on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    916 gross out erryday

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    This is not about feminism at all.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    I set fire to my pubes today.

    For reals.

    Killjoy on
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